Both my muse and I actually had fun writing this chapter. My muses work ahead of where we are in the written story often by acting and talking about things out loud so we had this whole chapter worked out well before we even started working on the story. Hope you guys enjoy.

Richie knew it had been a huge mistake to split up from the group. The comedian felt completely numb as he walked in the doors of the inn, brushing past his friends with the sole goal of leaving. He couldn't take this anymore. That fucking clown had taken every bit of his fear and had thrown it in his face, sinking that fear into his skin and now it was crawling underneath, making Richie sick to his stomach.

He began to gather his things with uneven hands when he heard footsteps and turned sharply to find Ben in the door frame, his face flooded with concern, "Richie-"

"I can't do this Ben. I-I can't-"

"What did you see?"

"How are we supposed to fight this thing if it can get inside our heads? That fucking clown knew….it knew something I've never told anyone…IT knew!" Richie said, his voice shaking with fear and anger.

"It did the same thing to me" Ben interrupted.

"What?"

"It took something only I and one other person knew. It used that person to trick me."

"So then how are we supposed to kill this thing?" Richie questioned as he sat down on his bed, "for all we know IT already knows our plan and we're just fucked either way."

"We have to trust Mike, he's researched this. We have to trust we can do this ritual" Ben said as he walked over, sitting next to the other, "but we can't do it without you, please Richie."

They stared at each other for a moment before Richie sighed, removing his glasses to rub at his eyes, "I don't wanna do this."

"I don't either, but if we split up now we're all dead. So we need you to stay. Can you promise that?"

A door slamming and Eddie's voice downstairs temporarily distracted Richie, but after Ben called back his attention he replied, "alright, I promise."

"Good, I'm going to go check on Bev."

He stood after Ben left the room and before he realized what he was doing he found himself standing in the door frame of Eddie's bathroom, watching him wash his face.

"You alright there Eds?"

Richie's sudden voice had Eddie nearly jumping out of his skin as he whipped around, "damn Richie don't do that."

"What happened?" Richie asked, taking note of the dark liquid staining Eddie's normally neat clothing.

"I don't want to talk about it" Eddie said, crossing his arms as he shifted his weight to rest his back against the sink.

"Well did you at least get your token?"

"Yeah, did you?"

Richie barely heard the question as that stupid clown's annoying song echoed in his head. I know your secret, your dirty little secret! He really hated that clown.

Eddie noticed how drained his best friend looked in that moment. He had almost become a stranger with how much he didn't look like the Richie Eddie knew so well.

Eddie's eyebrows knotted as his face became full of concern, "Rich?"

Richie seemed to finally snap out of his thoughts, "huh?"

"Did something happen to you?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Richie spoke, "um…yeah. I don't want to talk about it either."

Another pause of silence fell on the pair like a thick blanket. Eventually hesitating glances met one another and Richie once again found himself locked into those captivating stormy blue eyes. For just a moment he had the urge to confess everything, to tell Eddie the dark secret he had tried so desperately to hide.

"But maybe I should…" Richie whispered, taking a few steps forward almost robotically, "Eddie I…"

But he found his throat clenching around the words, unable to continue. His fear launched up, grabbing him in a strangle hold, halting him in his tracks. Eddie remained frozen as well, unable to speak, too afraid that any noise he made would break the spell they were currently held in.

But eventually Richie shifted, this time his steps were retreating. Leaving with, "I can't do this."

Eddie made to follow him, but his feet were rooted to the spot and a sudden lump in his throat prevented him from calling. His heart hurt seeing Richie retreat like that. He had this insane idea that Richie was about to tell Eddie he felt the same way the smaller did. Instead he was left in an almost deafening silence as he turned back to the sink to finish cleaning his face.

~~~**~~~**~~~**~IT~**~~~**~~~**~~~

Richie found himself once again running from his problems. After over 27 years of this it had practically became second nature. But it wasn't long after he had driven off that guilt began to set in. He knew he should go back, but his fear still dictated his actions until he happened to drive by a familiar synagogue.

Richie's body seemed to once again have a mind of its own as he stopped his car and walked into the empty building. As he sat down in the worn wooden seats a memory of Stanley came to mind. Richie had been there on the day of Stan's bar mitzvah and the speech he gave. As the memory played out Richie noticed Stanley looking up at him when he spoke one particular part of his speech, "the secrets we feel like we have to keep."

A sudden realization struck Richie. Did Stan know about Richie's secret? Was that his way of telling his friend? Stan had always been the wisest of their group. When he would sometimes speak he held this maturity to his words none of the other Losers could duplicate. Stan was also the most observational of the group, choosing to watch and listen instead of speak often times. So perhaps he had figured it out, maybe before Richie even realized it himself. As the memory faded Richie let out a sigh and a small laugh.

"Alright Stan, I get it. Thanks for helping out" Richie said, getting up to go back to his friends.

As Richie pulled up to the library he expected to find his friends yelling at him for almost ditching them, but what he didn't expect was Henry Bowers pinning Mike on the floor with a knife hovering dangerously above his face. Richie felt his fear attempt to over take him again, but he was quick to shove it down as he hurriedly glanced around for a weapon. Luckily this library had some historical artifacts such as a real tomahawk, something he discovered was real when it easily sunk into the childhood bully's skull.

The adrenaline in Richie's system soon turned to nausea as he found himself emptying his stomach onto the floor. A rush of footsteps followed and the rest of the group minus Bill came running in. After a few words exchanged back and forth Richie asked where the bathroom was and headed for it as Mike called up Bill.

As Richie finished washing out his mouth he noticed Eddie gazing at him in the mirror, his expression knotted with worry again.

"What happened?" Richie asked as he turned to the other male, unconsciously bringing his hand up to gently touch Eddie's injured cheek.

Eddie didn't retreat from the touch as he replied, "Bowers, stabbed me in the face…so I stabbed him in the chest with his own fucking knife."

Richie chuckled in disbelief, "did you really?"

"Yeah, I also told him to cut that horrible mullet. I mean damn it's almost been 30 years."

Both of them laughed at that, Eddie flinching when he moved his mouth too much. They eventually fell silent, but it wasn't as tense as it had been before. Richie hardly seemed to noticed he still had his hand up to Eddie's cheek and that they were closer than they started.

"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have left…" Richie said softly.

"You didn't know, and neither did I. I'm fine" Eddie replied.

A few more moments of silence passed before Richie finally seemed to realize what he was doing and quickly dropped his hand.

"We should-"

"Yeah."

The two walked back out to the library just as Mike hung up. It took Eddie only a second to notice the panicked look on his face.

"Bill went to fight Pennywise alone" Mike said.

"What?" Richie asked in surprise.

"This ritual is about the group, it doesn't work without the group" Mike ranted.

As he did Richie picked up the leather jug that Mike had been holding and his eyes burned with a vision of Mike carving over one of the sides. But again it disappeared so quickly Richie wasn't sure what he saw. He noticed Eddie's worried eyes on him, but he just waved off his friend's concern.

The Losers quickly took off toward Neibolt house, catching Bill just before he walked in. Beverly called out first and Bill tried to protest them following him. Eddie's memories were brought back to the last time they were all at this death trap of a house. All of them apart from Bill were terrified of stepping into the rotting house, but they had all done it anyways. Just as they were doing here, none of them would let Bill go in on his own.

"So anyone going to say something before we go in?" Eddie asked once they had all convinced Bill.

"Richie said it b-best when we were here last" Bill said.

"I don't want to die?" Richie asked.

"Not that."

"You're lucky we're not measuring dicks?"

Eddie rolled his eyes at that. Richie couldn't go one hour without making some sort of dirty joke, even when they were about to face off against a psychopathic clown.

"No."

"Lets kill this fucking clown?"

Bill smiled, a gesture that rippled through the whole group as the memory popped in all their minds.

"Lets kill this fucking clown!"

With that they all headed inside. Eddie suppressed a shudder that ran up his spine when he saw just how decrepit this place had truly become over the past 27 years. They would be lucky if they didn't severely injure themselves here. A sense of dread swirled around and settle on the group like fog that only became denser the more steps they took into the house. Everything was too quiet.

Bill began to wonder into the kitchen area and Richie followed. Eddie hesitated in following considering he had one of the worst experiences in there. But the worry of being separated from Richie like when they were kids drove him to follow. He had just stepped into the kitchen when a cry of pain from Ben had all of them spinning around, but it was too late, the door slammed and of course it was locked.

They didn't have long to try and break the door down before a literal Stan head crab was lunging at them. Richie scrambled to find a weapon while dodging the creature. Where was a crowbar when you needed one?

The group had a small breather when the thing disappeared. Richie looked up to see Eddie in the corner, pale and frozen in place. Concern overtook his fear for a moment as he came up to Eddie, asking if he was alright.

Eddie could barely register Richie's words. The fear had such a tight grip on his mind, branching outward to his body, freezing it in place. It only became worse when a string of saliva suddenly hung down in front of his eyes. They had a split second to look up at the creature before it jumped on Richie, ripping terrified screams from his throat as he collapsed to the dusty floor.

Eddie's mind was flooded with the memory he had been forced to recall just recently. The same terror from earlier locked his body in place, not even Bill yelling at him to grab the knife was enough to get him to move. Eddie stared in horror at the creature that was seconds away from killing his best friend. Why couldn't he move? Richie was going to die and all he could do was hide in the corner like a coward. Maybe he would have been better off killing himself too instead of coming back here, he was just going to get them all killed.

Suddenly the barrage of noises stopped and when Eddie looked up he saw Ben stabbing at the creature's head before Richie threw it off. It gave a wicked grin towards Eddie before scuttling off. Eddie was still shaking when Bill came over, anger flashing in his blue eyes.

"He could have fucking died man! G-Georgie's dead, t-t-the kid's dead, S-Stanley's dead! You w-want Richie too?!" Bill snapped, his stutter becoming worse.

"No…I didn't want Richie…p-please don't be mad Bill. I was just scared" Eddie whispered barely able to keep his body upright with how badly it was shaking.

All his self-doubt came crashing back down onto him. He was no better than when he was a kid. He was still a frightened coward that couldn't do anything even when his best friend's life was on the line. He didn't want to even look at Richie for fear of seeing hatred within his eyes.

Things only became worse as they continued to press on, descending down into the well. Not even Richie's comment about the grey water they had to walk through was enough to pull Eddie out of the shaken state he was locked in. It finally all snapped when the group had to once again climb down into another hole.

"I can't do this. I can't go down there. You saw what happened up there" Eddie said, his eyes locking with Richie as the guilt overwhelmed him, "I was going to let you die. I fucking froze. If I got down there I'm going to get us all killed."

Eddie's chest became tight, feeling as if his body was squeezing all the air from it like the last breath of a drowning man. He took out his inhaler, something he knew wasn't even real medicine, but he had still used for an empty comfort. But just after he took one inhale he felt a hand on his arm, tugging away the placebo. Eddie wrestled with Richie for a moment before the comedian was able to take the inhaler.

Richie took Eddie's face in his hand, getting the shorter to look at him, "listen to me. You had a moment, I get it. We've all had a moment since getting back here. But who was it that killed a psychotic clown before he was 14?"

Eddie was silent for a moment before responding, "me."

"Who stabbed Bowers with a knife he pulled from his face and told him to get a fucking haircut?"

"Also me."

"Who became a risk analyst despite having a mother that made him paranoid about everything?"

"Me" Eddie said, his voice now sounding more confident.

"You're braver than you think."

Eddie could feel his mind and body clearing the longer he stared into those beautiful dark eyes. Despite all the joking Richie did there were times when he could be serious. And those moments had always been when he was reassuring Eddie, when he knew his best friend was going into a full-blown panic attack. Richie had always known just what to say to calm Eddie down and in this moment between them it was almost like they were children again.

Eventually Richie had pulled away once Eddie was calmer and the brunette couldn't help brushing a hand over where Richie's had been a moment ago, a part of him already missing the touch.

I think my Richie and Eddie muses have come to realize just how important their relationship is to one another. We may only seem them bicker like an old married couple in most of the movie, but that moment when Richie was encouraging Eddie is what made me start shipping Reddie. Bill Hader really did kill at this role. I couldn't imagine anyone else playing Richie like he did.