1Erm...hi. This is my first Naruto fic. In it, our favourite shinobi are trading in their forehead protectors for paper food service hats! Please review.
Warning:This chapter may/will contain bodies exploding, rubber chickens, nonexistent iPods, Sakura skipping around like she's on something, and Gai's new Mercedes. Be afraid.
Disclaimer: Naruto ©Masashi Kishimoto
May I Take Your Order!
Chapter 1
Kakashi pulled his Porsche up to a certain fast food venue. He stepped out and unlatched the door.
He walked in and flicked a switch.
Lights exploded (Not literally, of course. There wouldn't be much of a story if they did) to reveal a register, tables, and the world's largest ball pit.
Kakashi shook his head. Why couldn't this have been an Italian restaurant? Probably hot waitresses, plus that great sauce...but no. He had to be the manager of McKunai's.
"Embarassing," he thought. "No wonder that most of our customers are large slobs who live with their mums and an even larger number of cats."
He thought about going down to his office which had high-def TV, an espresso maker and his collection of rubber chickens. He started down the hall.
Suddenly, a loud beeping sound interrupted him.
Was it his cell phone? He checked.
Nope.
Was it his BlackBerry? He checked.
Nope.
Was it his awesome sick iPod? He checked.
No. Perhaps due to the fact that it didn't exist.
Kakashi sighed. "It's never there..." he muttered. He checked his watch. It was flipping out.
"8 o' clock," he said. "Time to let my loyal, hardworking employees in..."
He cringed as he opened the door...
Out from the doorway bounded a flash of red.
"YAAAAAAAAAY! WORKTIME! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" shrieked one of the three cashiers, Haruno Sakura.
She rushed over to Kakashi, who was still standing near the front door, smashing his head into the wall.
"Hey boss! Guess what? Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhaaaaat!" she yelled to the back of his head.
Kakashi stopped smashing his head and turned to stare at Sakura. "Oh, I think I know," he said with a mixture of annoyance and the voice someone uses when they want to tear your head off.
He skipped around in a happy circle and batted his eyelashes while hearts and airbrushed bubbles appeared around him.
"Work is my very favourite time of the whole livelong day! Yipee!" he said, mocking Sakura.
Sakura stared at him and put her hands on her hips. "No boss, that wasn't what I was going to say at all!" she giggled. "What I was going to say was..." She skipped around in a happy circle and batted her eyelashes while hearts and airbrushed bubbles appeared around her.
"Work is my very favourite time of the whole livelong day! Yipee! 3" she said, not mocking Sakura.
Kakashi stared at her. Sakura looked to her left then to her right, then in back of her in an Exorcist fashion. "I don't see anything, boss. What're you staring at?" she said. She looked down at herself, then back at Kakashi, who by the way was now a bright red with rage. "Ohhh, I get it!" she giggled. "You're staring at me!"
She giggled and giggled until she fell on the floor. Her giggling grew louder and louder and added some variations in, such as snorts, eye twitches, and involuntary muscle movements. "Hee hee snort hee hee snort snort hee hee hee snoooooooort!" she giggled while writhing on the floor with her eyelids bending in ways eyelids shouldn't bend.
She then, like, totally 'sploded.
"Groovy," remarked Assistant Manager Gai, who has just rolled up in his new Mercedes-Benz.
Gai and Kakashi looked around at the floor, walls, and ceilings that were splattered with Sakura's remains.
"I'll call the hospital. Again," said Gai tediously.
"You do that," said Kakashi. He walked over to the door. "It's always the same, the hearts, the airbrushed bubbles, the blonde moments, the hippie talk..." he muttered.
He slapped on a very fake looking grin as he opened the door for the three janitors, Rock Lee, Tenten, and Hyuuga Neji.
"Welcome!" he sang as they entered, already dressed in their uniforms.
They looked around.
"So Sakura 'sploded again?" Neji asked.
"Yeeeeees!" sang Kakashi.
"Noooooo!"sobbed Rock Lee. He threw himself on the floor."SHE DIES EVERY SINGLE DAY! WHY MUST SHE GIGGLE! AAAAAAAAAAHH!" he yelled.
He 'sploded.
"Oh, I forgot, I die every day too!" said Dead Lee.
Tenten rolled her eyes. "Idiot."
Kakashi turned to look at Gai. "Hey! Lee just 'sploded too!"
Gai looked up. "Really? That's unusual. Usually he just chokes on a ketchup packet."
Kakashi turned to Neji and Tenten. "Okay, you lot. We got us a situation in the dumpster. I want you to investigate. Got it? And keep the making out low, 'kay?"
"Right!" they said in obnoxious anime voices as they giggled out to the dumpster.
Well, I'll try to finish up on the next chapter soon, which involves Teletubbies, and Orochimaru trying to make salads with custard, with disastrous results. Stay tuned, and review while you're at it!
