(Note: I've had a lot of fun doing this, and I hope you've all enjoyed it. Thanks again for reading!)
Episode 13: The Place Where I Belong
Stardate 314159.26535-Galactic Nations News Network Transmission Number #3997494
This is GNNN with your early morning news! Early morning on Proxima Centauri, that is. Ha! I made a funny!
Ahem. A GN tribunal on Mars is set to bring up charges against General James McFido of the Dogstar Empire later today. Also known as "Lord Nefarious," McFido is charged with incursion against an undeveloped world, stemming from his thwarted attempt to recover the famous Dogstar Idol from the small town of Fluffytown on the planet Earth. The Idol is currently being held under tight security in an undisclosed GN complex. General McFido's trial was delayed several months while he recovered from extensive injuries suffered during a battle at Capitaltown's SPOOK International, including several lacerations and a serious bout of catscratch fever. Former Dogstar soldier-turned-rock-idol K.K. Slider will be holding a special benefit concert to raise funds for the reconstruction of Fluffytown. For unknown reasons, Mr. Slider has declined to play his trademark triple-platinum single, K.K. Technopop.
In other news: the galaxy's turnip prices have hit an all-time low today, prompting the Intergalactic Turnip Federation to accelerate their plans to put out a new ad campaign. Sow Joan of the Federation could not be reached for comment.
-end transmission-
I switched off the monitor and ran for the elevator, hoping I hadn't stretched the definition of "break" too literally. I'm sure Big Eddie would understand, since he was also wrapped up in the great battle for Fluffytown, but I'm not one to hedge my bets on such things. Besides, we've been busy lately. The Loch Ness monster attacked several more tourists last week and I've got to fly in to testify as a character witness. Then there's the size 45 pair of shoes we have to fly in for Bigfoot. Finally, there were a couple of personal matters...
The elevator doors closed behind me and I started humming K.K. music to make up for the lack of it on the elevator, figuring that my rendition would be far better than theirs. My palm started sweating as I clutched the form in my hand. Finally, the door opened to the lobby of Big Eddie's office and I took a seat, setting the folded paper on my lap.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. The clock chimed on as if mocking me. The pit in my stomach expanded and contracted with each rise and fall of my chest. Everything should be fine, I thought to myself. It's not an unreasonable request, and the Daily Kee-mo-atah report told me it was a good day to ask the boss for favors. It'll go okay...right?
"Big Eddie will see you now," Diane said with a smile. "Good luck, Edgar!"
I opened the ornate double-doors to find not only Big Eddie, but the entire executive board of SPOOK sitting before me at a long table. All chairs spun so that their inhabitants could face me.
"Am I interrupting anything, sir?" I took a step back, preparing to leave.
"Interrupting anything?" Big Eddie laughed and pounded the table before a woman by him, concerned for the welfare of the table, asked him to stop. "You're the entire reason we're meeting like this, Edgar."
My vision started to swim a bit. I held out the form, half-drenched with my own sweat. "I...I have a request--"
"Yes, yes, I know all about that." Big Eddie waved me off with his hand. "You think Fluffytown's weird enough to set up a division of SPOOK there."
"How did you..."
"I know these things." Big Eddie tapped his head with his finger. "You also left one of your forms in the copy machine. Anyway, I brought the board in to do a formal vote on the matter." He cleared his throat, prompting one board member to drop to the floor in fear. "All in favor of establishing Fluffytown as the newest branch of SPOOK International--"
"Aye!" came a few sparse voices.
"I wasn't done yet!" Big Eddie bellowed. He cleared his throat again once the board members had taken themselves out of duck-and-cover position.
"--and establishing as its director Edgar, who shall also be commended for his efforts in preventing the recovery of the Dogstar Empire's famous idol by the forces of its renegade commander, for inspiring the people of Fluffytown to fight for themselves in securing their continued freedom and welfare, for participating in a dangerous rescue mission in this very building, and, most importantly, for getting me headache medicine when I needed it most--"
"Aye!" came the annoyed reply from every board member.
"Motion passed." Big Eddie folded his hands together and smiled. "You've got a train to catch, Mr. Director. I don't think that's going to be a problem this time, is it?"
"No, sir." Nodding to the board members, and throwing a quick salute to Big Eddie, I left the room. Once I was sure the door was closed, I jumped in the air and pumped my fist in joy.
"Ahem!" Stopping, I turned to Diane, who thrust out her finger at the "No Jumping For Joy" sign.
"Sorry."
-----------------------
"Attention all passengers!" came the voice over the intercom, barely drowning out the K.K. Bossa playing through my CD player. "Now approaching Fluffytown station. Departure in ten minutes."
I checked my watch one last time and felt a wave of relief wash over me. I'd spent the entire trip without having one negative thought about trains. In fact, I couldn't recall any negative thoughts. Even the food seemed pretty good.
As Fluffytown came into view, my unshakable good mood was shaken a little. Despite all our best efforts to protect Fluffytown, it was still pretty much destroyed by the Gyroid mutations. The irony wasn't lost on me or anyone else, but from what I saw, it looked like everyone had done a good job rebuilding their damaged homes. "Poor Melba," I muttered out loud as I saw her home, which had gone from being a pile of sticks to being a more highly organized pile of sticks. I felt myself smile when I thought about the new Gyroid Specialist job she would have under my wing.
The train applied its brakes and began to whine its way to a stop. As it pulled up to the station, I saw everyone in town standing at the platform. There was Tom Nook, craning his neck to see me while his nephews stood on his shoulders and did the same. Kapp'n and Pascal looked nervous; I supposed it was because they were away from water. Olivia and Tangy each waved at me with one hand and supported Monique with the other; she'd healed up nicely but was getting used to being out and about again. Kiki stood behind them, stretching her short paw above Monique's head to get it in. I felt a whoosh of air above me, and ducked my head out the window to see Pelly, Phyllis, and Pete flying cover for the train. Copper and Booker stood guard at the posts of the platform, each trying to look as official as possible while beaming from cheek to cheek. Somewhere in the crowd, I knew I'd see the others I hoped to see: Big Top, Melba, Bluebear, Tom, and, well, that other important someone who I'd promised I would see again.
The train stopped and the doors opened. I picked up my suitcases and walked out onto the platform. Everyone stood back and unfolded a banner; it said "Welcome back to the place you belong."
"Isn't it wonderful?" Tom Nook said, clapping me on the back while his nephews ran circles around me. "This will, of course, be part of your tab, which I'm happy to say is quite exhorbitant!"
"...Excuse me?" I felt a cold wind blow through me.
"Yes, well, it was my understanding that you were to be Director of SPOOK's Fluffytown Division, hrm? And to spearhead this undertaking, you would need vast amounts of added space to store all your little gadgets, yes?"
"This is true," I replied, feeling my heart sink.
"Well, I took the liberty of making the necessary alterations to your house! I was certain you'd appreciate it. As to the matter of the bill..." Tom Nook rubbed his hands together. "I heard you plan to live here a long time, which is quite good, because it takes quite a long time to pay off three billion bells, hrm?" Tom Nook burst into laughter while an integral part of my insides burst with horror.
"Edgar..." Someone was waving their hand in front of me. Someone female and very cute.
"Are you an angel?" I said groggily.
"Might as well be," she said with a wink, and I realized it was Rei. She clasped my hand and drew herself closer to me. "Oh, by the way, I want you to have this." She gave me a piece of tinfoil. For some reason, it felt like it was enchanted. Yet, it was still a piece of tinfoil.
"Please tell me this is magical tinfoil that's worth three billion bells," I pleaded.
"Noooo..." Rei grinned. "But it is worth something else. Just loop it around and place it on my finger."
I complied. "Okay, now what?"
"Now we'll be together for a long time, silly!" She threw her arms around me and I slowly realized what had just happened. The residents of Fluffytown broke out into boisterous applause, and I think I even saw Nook blowing his nose. Or maybe he was just showing off his gold-plated handkerchief.
"Yes, well, that's quite priceless, hrm?" He clapped me on the shoulder. "Which is too bad, considering the price you've got to pay!" He chuckled and wiped his eye. "Now then, Mr. Director, shall we show you to your new headquarters?" He stepped off the platform and ambled off in the direction of my house. With Rei holding my hand, the cheapest engagement ring in the history of the known universe on her finger, I followed him back into the craziest place I've ever known: the place where I belong.
Crisis in Fluffytown: The End
