A/N: Hello Ladies, Gents, and Everyone Else! Thank you for sticking around for this long. I haven't updated in a while but that's the same story with many of my other projects. Oops. My mind can't stay focused on things these days, but I do come bearing a new update for you. It's not my best work, but it will have to do. Please enjoy this next update, presented to you now.
OOOOOOOOO
Avonlea did try to get together with more of her peers over the next week with the help of Carissa, but never had any good news to report to Snape about finding someone who was destined to be her mate. It had gotten to the point that he would give her a look at the end of class and she'd shake her head as she gathered her bags. The unspoken let down that she wasn't having any luck had created a bad feeling in her gut because she realized that it was getting harder to stop thinking about him, seeking his approval and being close to him.
I just need to get out there and see some more boys, Avonlea told herself as she brushed her hair. There's bound to be someone that I missed. I could find him and that will be the end of it. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth and stared at her reflection. I could have the kind of relationship with him as my dad has with Mom. Only coming together when the need to mate comes upon me…That could work.
Thinking that made her mouth taste bitter. She knew that there was no way that she could have a relationship with someone and see them only a few times a year in an intimate way. Avonlea couldn't handle having that kind of relationship. She dreamed of having one where she could be with her partner all the time, keeping him close so that they could grow tighter in their loving bond and relationship. There was no way that she could let herself have the messed up bond that her mother had with her mysterious father.
But I can't believe what my body is telling me either, Avonlea thought, setting her hairbrush down on the edge of the sink. I can't believe that the world is pushing me towards Severus Snape more and more every day. He doesn't know what's going on and I can't tell him. I can't tell him that he's my mate. The books said that he needs to find out for himself…I can't help him. And he can't help me.
"God, this is so frustrating!" she cursed under her breath, adjusting the neckline of her purple sweater.
"If you don't like the sweater, don't wear it," Carissa said from the doorway. "I think it's cute on you, though."
Avonlea glanced at her friend's reflection in the mirror and saw that Carissa was pulling her own sweater over her bra. "It's not the sweater. I love this sweater."
"Good. Because I'm the one that bought it for you." Carissa freed her hair from the collar of her sweater. "Two years ago. Before your boobs started to fill in."
"Thanks for getting a size up then." Avonlea folded her arms over her chest. "So, Hogsmeade. We're going to do more than shopping?"
"Yep. I gotta get some things for presents and I want to get some more chocolate frogs. And maybe that'll expose you to some more men that could be the mate that you need." Carissa leaned against the doorway to their bathroom and fixed Avonlea with an evil eye. "When you don't find someone else who gets your blood pumping, will you finally admit to yourself that my dad is your mate?"
Avonlea shook her head. "I can't admit it."
"Can't? Or won't?"
The Veela Halfling was silent, staring helplessly at her friend without really seeing her. Carissa shook her head slowly.
"Lea, you can't be that scared of him," Carissa said, moving into the bathroom. "Once he finds out that you're his mate, everything will be better."
"He has to be the one to find out though," Avonlea reminded her in a small voice. "You read the notes that I took from that book Mom sent me. He has to acknowledge the connection himself and then want me…"
"And how could he resist you?"
"Easy. I've kept secrets from him and this big one could be the one that causes him to hate me for the rest of his life. He could reject me, Carissa."
"Or he could accept you, Miss Pessimist. Did you think of that?"
Only a half dozen times, Avonlea thought, shaking her head. "The thought that he could reject me if he finds out that he's my mate and condemning me to a life as a vampire is scarier than the idea of becoming a vampire without anyone knowing who my mate is."
Carissa sighed and wrapped her arm around Avonlea's shoulders. "We won't have to think about that, Lea. We'll go out and have some fun today and maybe we'll find someone to keep you entertained…Just promise that you won't mope if you can't find someone else. Okay?"
Avonlea nodded and her friend gave her a friendly squeeze. "Let's get out of this place. Being cooped up in this castle with a bunch of idiots is not how I want to spend my weekend," Carissa said, propelling Avonlea out of their bathroom. "Off to spend our mothers' hard earned money, away!"
"You're so strange," Avonlea commented, smiling for the first time that day.
"Thanks."
OOOOOOOOO
Snape moved through the small village of Hogsmeade, glaring at any child that crossed his path. He didn't find it amusing that he had been one of five professors that were assigned to watch over the students while they spent their money on useless baubles and candy. Yet, he dare not cross the Headmaster when she had been gracious enough to forgive him for his misdeeds during the last Wizards War that killed his one-time master. Snape knew that he was still walking on thin ice and that he was easily replaceable, should the need arise.
The distraction of keeping an eye on the little brats that populated the castle of Hogwarts was welcome though. In his brooding moments of aloneness, Snape was finding it harder to sulk. His thoughts were turning elsewhere and he did not like that. He was tired of having his heart beat loudly in his chest at the thought of a second chance at happiness. It was surely the memories of what he had felt for Lily coming back to the surface since he had been reading the articles about Potter's accomplishments in the paper.
At least, that's what he kept telling himself.
It was displeasing for him to look out at his classroom when both his daughter and her friend were present, knowing that he would yet again see that silent sign that she had not found the mate she needed. Every shake of the head to his unasked question was another blow to his gut and brought only a spark of joy that he didn't understand.
She's obviously not trying hard enough, Snape told himself, glaring darkly at a particularly loud group of students. If she was, she would have found that daft boy by now and consummated their fated relationship. And then she would no longer be my problem.
Snape shook his head at the thought and ground his teeth together. Somehow, he knew, she would always be a problem. Especially since she was almost joined at the hip with his daughter. No matter where he would go, a little reminder of that Halfling would remain with him and haunt his nights.
Don't think about that! Snape ordered himself. This is not the place or the time.
Snape was glad for the heavy cloak that he wore as he walked through Hogsmeade. It allowed for him to pinch himself hard without drawing attention to the random action. With the pain came a flood that brushed away the thoughts that he had battled against for the past few days. He didn't understand these thoughts, but keeping them back was getting harder every day.
Severus Snape was getting tired of erotic dreams that contained a woman that he never clearly saw. He would wake up, breathless and covered in sweat and in need of a cold shower to get rid of his hard-on. It was getting annoying to think about that woman that he never saw, clawing at his back and moaning incoherent sounds into his ear. He never recognized the voice and never saw the woman's appearance or simply couldn't recall, but he knew that it wasn't Lily. It was someone else that his body yearned for, but his mind would not reveal to him.
My heart will always belong with Lily, Snape thought, pinching himself once more. Everyone else is a cheap shadow. Not worth my time.
He glanced through the window of the local candy shop at random and paused for a moment. Inside, his daughter was laughing loudly with her boyfriend and girlfriend like some big joke had been told to her. Standing nearby was the Veela Halfling, talking with a group of boys. For a moment there was a feeling of anger as he looked at her.
Avonlea was smiling at the boys and playing lightly with her hair, twirling it around her finger. Snape saw that she was leaning in towards the boys more so than she had weeks before her Veela nature had started becoming more noticeable. Some of her shyness remained – she never kept eye contact with any of the boys for long – but Snape could see that she was becoming bolder in her actions. She leaned closer to them and placed a hand briefly on the arm of one of the boys.
What is she doing? Snape wondered, narrowing his eyes at the action. Is she feeling for her mate? Could he be the one? Could any of those boys be the one?
Snape shook his head. It wasn't his problem anymore. If Avonlea found her mate, she would no longer be his concern. She would graduate and leave Hogwarts for good – unless she decided to become a professor.
Something in his gut tightened at the thought.
The lights of the shop shone on the girl's hair as she tossed it over her shoulder. Her lips turned up into a bright smile that had him frozen for a moment.
Get your head in reality, Snape told himself, shaking his head once more. The dreams have you projecting upon every female that you see. It's nothing more than that.
The dark professor turned his gaze away from the window and moved along, his eyes glaring darker than ever at the students that crossed his path. The promise of a good stiff drink to wash away all of these intrusive thoughts guided him towards Hog's Head where he knew that no one would bother him.
Damn that girl!
OOOOOOOOO
Avonlea blew on her fingers as she moved down the street, leaving her friends to wallow at the local pub, Three Broomsticks. She hadn't realized how cold it had gotten since she had been browsing through the candy store. With regret, she realized that she hadn't brought her gloves with her and now her fingers burned from the cold. Yet, looking up at the sky overhead, Avonlea smiled at the snow that was slowly falling upon the world.
Remember what this feels like, Avonlea told herself mentally. Remember every sensation because one day it could be all gone.
The Veela Halfling tipped her head back and stuck her tongue out. A single snowflake touched her tongue lightly and was gone as soon as it had come. Sighing, she looked back out at the world and adjusted her grip on the bag that she had filled with numerous sweets from the candy store. Her supplies for school were depleted more so than usual, so she knew that she had at least one more stop to make before she would either go back to the castle or join Carissa at the pub for a quick drink of Butterbeer.
I don't feel much like drinking though, Avonlea thought, glancing in shop windows as she headed for the all-goods store. Carissa would want me to come anyway. Just to see if there are any boys that could fulfill my needs. Then she'd laugh back in our room about how I was wrong and she was right.
"Ugh…" Avonlea shook her head. "I can't let her always be right."
Avonlea ducked into the all-goods store and stamped the snow off of her shoes. She gave a little wave to the old witch behind the counter, ducking her head in respect to the woman who always gave her good deals.
"Happy holidays, Miss Raven!" the woman called out as Avonlea moved into the various aisles. "You look as beautiful as ever. Even more so, I say!"
"Thanks, Mrs. Conroy," Avonlea said, feeling the heat flush her face.
Avonlea stopped in the middle of an aisle and touched a few quills. She breathed in the scent of the supplies around her and froze as she realized what the store smelled like. Her heart pounded loudly in her chest, calling for someone that she couldn't have.
Get the stuff and get out, Avonlea told herself, reaching for some ink pots and a couple stacks of parchment paper. Get out! Get out! Get out of here while you still can.
She whispered a hurried goodbye to the witch behind the counter and moved out of the store. Breathing in the scent of the clean snow, she allowed her body a moment to adjust to the cold before hurrying towards Three Broomsticks. As she moved, she kept a careful eye on the world around her, making sure that her path never crossed that of the person who tormented her most in the world.
OOOOOOOOO
Avonlea had managed to convince the barkeep to let her have some Fire Whisky and she allowed herself to be indulged in the burning liquid. By the time that she and her friends had to go back to Hogwarts for the day, she was feeling warm all over and very giggly. Carissa laughed at the change and took photos with her enchanted camera as blackmail or so she said. Avonlea moved outside, keeping ahead of her friend and with her back towards the school.
"Lea," Carissa laughed, hooking her arm around her boyfriend's arm. "Lea, you gotta watch where you're going! You're going to land on your ass if you don't!"
"Let her fall!" Cassius called out, laughing loudly. "It'll teach her a lesson."
Avonlea stuck her tongue out and waved her arms, glad that her bags had been shrunk down to pocketsize and placed in her coat pockets. "I'm not going to fall. I'm going to fly away from here." She smiled. "Didn't you know that Veela have wings?"
"You don't have wings yet, buttercup," Katia pointed out. "You ain't flying anywhere tonight."
"Except to the infirmary wing or St. Mungo's, maybe." Carissa's eyes widened suddenly. "Avonlea, watch out! The gate!"
"Wha-?" Avonlea turned, but it was too late.
She fell through the gate door and would have fallen onto her butt if someone hadn't caught her first. Carissa's laughter died away at the same moment that Avonlea caught the scent of her savior.
Old books and warm potions.
Oh God, no! Avonlea thought, recognizing the danger even through the haze of the Fire Whisky that she had consumed.
Her body wanted to lean in towards the scent and images played in her head that she didn't want. She couldn't call the thoughts back behind her mental walls, thanks to the alcohol, but she reined in the rest before they could get spilled out into the world. Heat flooded her face and she looked up at the man who had caught her.
"You should watch where you're going, Miss Raven," Snape said in a waspish voice. "There won't always be someone to catch you when you fall."
"I…I'm sorry, Professor," Avonlea whispered. Did he see those thoughts? Oh God, please don't let him have seen those! "I'll be more vigilant next time."
"See that you do." Snape released her and took a step back. "With your little trip here, before you overindulged in liquor, have you found anyone that could be the unfortunate mate of yours?"
"You indulged plenty too," Avonlea could hear Carissa say from behind her. "I can smell it."
"No, sir." Avonlea wrapped her arms around herself, trembling from more than the cold. "I didn't find him."
"Perhaps you're not trying hard enough," Snape suggested, glaring down his nose at her. "Instead of wasting your time with alcohol, you should be searching for your mate. Unless you want to become a vampire instead of remaining a normal girl?"
The fire of her heritage burned in her veins, but her shy side tempered it down to a simmer. "Sir, I have been trying. I have looked at all the boys in my grade and the ones just below that I could. I can't find him or I haven't been drawn to him yet. Or I haven't met him." She waved her hand back in the direction of Hogsmeade. "For all I know, he could live in the village, but you cannot say that I haven't tried. Because I have and…" Avonlea swayed a little. "I think I'm going to throw up."
The taste of bile rose up in her throat, but she swallowed it down and tried to meet Snape's eyes without betraying anything. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms.
"Can I get to the castle now, Professor?" she asked, softer this time. "I need to lie down and look over my notes again. There must be something that I'm missing there."
Snape nodded and moved aside. "See that you look hard at those notes. We're running out of time to save your humanity."
Avonlea ducked her head and moved past him as quickly as she could without running away from him. She was halfway to Hogwarts when she had to stop at some bushes and puked up her guts. Carissa came over and pulled her best friend's hair back out of the reach of vomit until Avonlea stopped dry heaving.
"You sure told him," Carissa commented, charming Avonlea's hair back into a ponytail. "Up until the point that you said you were going to vomit. Bravo, Lea. Bravo."
Avonlea wiped the back of her hand across her mouth and spit out the last of the acid. "I feel like an idiot."
"But a brave one," Katia said, still hooking arms with Cassius. "We've never seen someone stand up to Snape like that since Potter was here."
"Potter was a pure idiot though," Cassius muttered, shaking his head. "That's why he beat the Dark Lord."
"Uh-huh." Carissa wrapped her arm around Avonlea. "Honey, you don't look so good. Let's get you inside our room and treat that nasty feeling you've got." She smiled and leaned in close. "And you're going to tell me all about the boys that you were flirting with."
"Ugh…Carissa, I'm tired and I have a gross taste in my mouth. All I want right now is mouthwash, a hot shower, and my pillow."
"You can have all of that later. You're telling me stories now."
"Ugh!"
OOOOOOOOO
A/N: My chapters are never really that long and I apologize for that if you keep expecting the chapters to grow in size every time that I update. It's not my style to write lengthy updates, but I will try to provide more updates when I can. Please leave a little review – or a big one – in the little box and I'll get back to you. Best wishes everyone! –Scarlet
