-----
Warning: This chapter may seem like a bowl full of idiocy to some, and to those people I apologize, my sense of humor is a bit odd. Otherwise enjoy!
Happy days and vivid nights to all!
----
Ch 2: Mounting Testament to Insanity
----
"We are no longer going west," Sanzo walked in front of them striding as though he were a drill instructor. "We will never more be caught up in a perpetual battle that is not ours."
Hakkai braved the possible retaliation, "um… why not? Have you spoken with um… Kanzeon… or something..?" His voice wavered a bit as his heart hoped that he was missing somewhat the meaning behind the monk's announcement.
"No," Sanzo was blunt.
"Then why aren't we driving already," Gojyo said as though it were not a question and turned to look at Jeep.
"Because… I… don't… want… to… Now, we have things to do," Sanzo turned walked away from the group and with a wave of his arm motioned for them to follow.
Nervous looks thrown between comrades Hakkai, Gojyo, and Goku didn't really have a choice in the matter. Besides that they were more than a little confused and wanted to know what was going on.
Goku quickened his step and caught up with Sanzo; "um… sensei, are you alright?" he looked up with troubled golden eyes.
The monk glanced down at Goku… hesitation…… and…. WHACK!
Sanzo smacked Goku again, "be quiet, you look better that way," the priest rounded the street corner.
Scowling as he held his bruised head Goku followed Sanzo, his tolerance being tested.
Hakkai and Gojyo walked a bit further behind teacher and student as they spoke in hushed tones.
"What's going on with saggy eyes?" Gojyo jabbed forward a finger, motioning at Sanzo.
"I have no idea," Hakkai looked the monk up and down as though some where stuck to him there might be a post-it-note which explained the predicament. "He has been acting a bit off ever since we got here." Leaning further in Hakkai tried to hush his tone an additional notch. "The behavior last night was questioning but I thought a good rest would solve it."
"Apparently not," Gojyo rolled his eyes a bit in their sockets.
Sanzo turned around as they stopped in front of an odd looking building, "Alright. This… is ours," he motioned up at the odd, shorter than their surroundings, building. It was simple and brick with a large shop window on the left side.
Goku wanted to know what the whole thing was about but he dared not part his lips for speech.
On the other hand the redhead felt no animosity flowing between him and the monk; "explain what's going on priest?" …he was wrong.
WHACK!
"What the hell!" Gojyo yelled.
Sanzo shrugged as if to tell the kappa he had smacked him for the simple bliss of it, "This is our new business," he shot a wide grin at them and crossed his arms. "A bakery."
The air stilled for a moment as a shock rippled through the group….Then…Even Hakkai started to laugh as the reality that Sanzo must been joking set in.
BANG!
A rather livid monk fired his gun and a bullet zipped past his companions just a tad to close for comfort. "… Time to clean this place up." He turned on heel, walked up the three front steps and had to jiggle the door handle to get the key to work in it.
'What the hell is going on!' the synonymous thought was thrown between the two brunettes and the redhead as their confusion multiplied sixfold.
Inside the building was musty and dark. With a click Sanzo flipped on the light…
kzinct….
"Damn," Sanzo made a bit of an angry face before striding into the darkness. Thunk, click… click… Sanzo had gone to the fuse box… After a few flickers, which warned of electrical problems, illumination made sight possible.
"Holy…oh my…" Hakkai gasped. From the outside the building looked short and squat compared to its surroundings but from the inside it became obvious that appearances are not every thing.
The innards were also brick and extended like a warehouse about two hundred feet back. A high dark ceiling overshadowed the small office in the corner and five old dusty ovens lay in slight ruin around the floor. Dripping noisily into a tipped sink water fell from rusty pipes to slide down the drain. The place was a wreck but obviously had housed a rather large production in its better days.
Sanzo walked to a front corner and retrieved cleaning materials which had obviously been placed there rather recently due to their lack of dust. Striding back to his companions he thrust out an arm and passed off the supplies to Goku. "Clean." Sanzo turned to Hakkai and Gojyo, "you two, go buy these," he shoved a yellow piece of paper out at the two men. "Also, get sake and cigarettes while you're at it."
They were all too happy to comply and left with quick feet.
----
Eyes wide and confused Gojyo slipped the paper out from between Hakkai's unmoving fingers, "so," he swallowed, "what's on the list?"
Paint, nails, screws, soap, sponges, pots, pans, bowls, whisks, spatulas, spoons, knives, forks, flour, sugar, milk, cream, assorted fruit, salt, baking powder, yeast, baking soda, assorted nuts, oil, butter, doilies etc…
All were ordered in mass quantities and the duo became increasingly worried as they re-read the list.
"We need to figure out what's going on here and in short order at that…" Hakkai breathed as they approached the market. "Let's see if we can't get in contact with Kanzeon somehow," the two strode rapidly past the vendors who were selling an immeasurable number if 'stuffs' along with actual necessities.
----
The evening sun settled onto the horizon, "ow…" Goku moaned as he looked over his abraded fingers. He had cleaned the entire facility and was currently seated next to the bottom of one of the newly spotless ovens hiding from Sanzo. '… ergh… when are Hakkai and Gojyo going to get back from shopping, they've been gone all day…' +sigh+
"Oi Goku," The monk's voice was directly in his ear.
Goku's insides jumped and he tried to squirm away. Sanzo's breath smelled of liquor and the monkey searched frantically with his eyes for an escape route.
The blonde's hand moved inside his cloak and the brunette readied himself for a swat. Instead the monk drew from his sleeve a flask and held it out in his hand.
Goku reached uncertainly and took the container from Sanzo. He tipped it back slowly, the liquid was hot against his lips but it felt and tasted quite nice after the days toils. He breathed out a sigh and strangely enough did not break into mindless chatter.
They sat there for a peaceful moment, Goku sipping gingerly at the sake. The evening was warm and a breeze came through the open door bringing the scents of the dusty street with it.
Violet eyes looked at the youth… slowly the priest stretched out an arm…
Boom! …"We're back!" Gojyo and Hakkai bumped through the door arms clutched around bags and boxes.
Sanzo retracted his arm and went to help.
Goku was left with the flask in his hand. '…?... Sanzo is acting so weird… I hope Hakkai and Gojyo figured out the problem…' He slumped back, exhausted and fell into peaceful slumber.
----
It was later now, the sun had sunk below the horizon and all supplies had been correctly filed away.
Sanzo lifted Goku's sleeping body and carried him to one of the three rooms hidden away behind the office. Two were bedrooms and the center room was filled with filing cabinets and boxes of old records. The monk chose the room to the left; it was larger by a good ten square feet.
Inside the space was dark, an old painted over tin ceiling reflected the meager light that filtered through the two windows. Three of the ten foot high walls were covered with peeling green wallpaper the fourth wall was bare and painted beige. Most definitely the space was lacking charm but that could be addressed later.
Setting Goku down into one of the two cots Sanzo pulled off the monkey's boots and rested them in the corner.
After opening the windows the flaxen haired man climbed into his own cot and went to sleep…
----
In their room two doors down Hakkai and Gojyo discussed the 'situation'.
The redhead rubbed his temples as the thoughts in his head decided to crash resulting in multiple casualties. "I have no idea… ugh…"
Hakkai's legs were crossed as he lay back on the green pop up bed. "I am surprised we couldn't reach Kanzeon."
"Yeah, I thought she was always watching us like some sort of omnipresent stalker," Gojyo drew a long stream of smoke from his cigarette and teetered precariously on the edge of his rickety cot before finding his balance and releasing the breath.
Hakkai inhaled deeply, he had come to feel comfort in the scent of second hand smoke, "looks like we will have to figure this out on our own."
Gojyo thumped a foot against the ground squashing a cockroach, "looks like we have a bug problem too." His foot made a small squelching sound when leather sole peeled away from bug intestine.
"Let's go over what we know," Hakkai put his arms behind his head making the reclining position a bit more comfortable.
"Sanzo's crazy, gone nuts, loco…," Gojyo chomped on one of the rolls they'd bought at market.
"That is not what I meant but yes," Hakkai let his eyes close as ideas rolled over inside his brain. "Sanzo has been eating nearly as much as Goku, smoking twice as much, literally. Making avid use of his paper fan, not that that is too different… but refusing to continue with our mission of martyrdom and opening a bakery…" the words sounded extremely odd and when Hakkai said them he wondered if he wouldn't simply wake from a dream. "ahem… any way the point is…" Hakkai forgot his point…
Gojyo picked at his teeth, "you want to know what I think?" the redhead looked at his friend, "Sanzo's found a girl."
"Oh of all the idiotic notions," Hakkai sat up to give Gojyo a look not unlike the one a mother would give her child when said child stated such idiotic notion.
"Nah, I'm serious, he totally left the hotel last night," the kappa shucked off his boots.
"Yes, but if he spent that time with a woman then when did he purchase this?" Hakkai waved an arm to indicate the building.
"Uh… damn… I got nothing," He shrugged and deposited his shirt on the cot to use as a pillow.
The conversation died off, "you know," the brunette said after about fifteen minutes, "maybe he's just tired of all of it."
… "um… we are opening a bakery Hakkai… a bakery…there's definitely something wrong," Gojyo drew out the sound of each letter in the word before rolling over to face the wall.
Both men sighed.
Tap, tap, tap… tap, tap, tap…
"Hey Hakkai, your flying rat is at the window," Gojyo looked to his right where indeed Hakuryu was flapping and looking frantic.
"Hakuryu!" Hakkai lunged from his cot tipping it over and opened the window for his poor small winged friend.
"Kyuu!" The dragon expressed his happiness and dropped down to land in the brunette's arms. "Kyu! Kyu!" A tiny white head snuggled into Hakkai's warmth. "Kuy!"
Hakkai hugged his companion and set the foldable bed back up on its legs. Dropping himself and the little dragon onto the cot he relaxed again, "Where did you go?" green eyes smiled at his pet, "you flew away at market, what ever have you been up to?"
"You coddle that thing way too much Hakkai," Gojyo still had his back facing his friend but could easily see the exact scene that was taking place in his mind.
"Hakuryu… what is this?" The brunette reached down to inspect the dragon's leg. Hanging from the little pale limb was a gold fetter, a delicate chain dangled from the shackle and attached to the chain was a small brass box. "What in the world…?"
Gojyo heard the strange exclamations coming form Hakkai and rolled to observe.
The brunette flipped back the tiny latch on the brass box. A quiet chime sounded and a light from within the small container glowed gently.
"Hello boys," Kanzeon's voice came forth, "it seems as though you have once again run into a bit of trouble." The voice paused in order to let a soft laugh ring, "meet me in the center of the city tomorrow at three, ciao." The box snapped shut, vibrated of its own accord then went poof and disintegrated into tin air.
Hakkai lay surprised, his hands still in the air from where they had been holding the box.
"Kyu!" Hakuryu looked happy now that the thing on his leg was gone and proceeded to snuggle down further into his master.
"Well at least we have plans for tomorrow," Gojyo rolled back over and went to sleep as though nothing were out of order.
Hakkai couldn't sleep right away, his stomach clenched in on itself and he could feel the churning inside. '…why does this whole thing give me a bad feeling…'
----
bebe be beep… bebe be beep… bebe be beep
Sanzo tapped his alarm clock; the soft blue digits read 4:00am, switching it off he got up. The night had brought with it a refreshing chill and the air still clung to its residual coolness.
"mmmmnnn…." Goku drooled a bit in his deep sleep and rolled over.
Taking little notice the priest moved from the makeshift bedroom and into the office. '…work…'
----
KABOOM!
Gojyo shot out of his bed an unfortunately into the wall. "oof!" Picking himself up the redhead stumbled out through both the bedroom and office doors.
Sanzo was toes over nose thrown against the far wall. Blonde hair could no longer be seen through all the soot and charcoal that covered the monk.
Hakkai who had been awake for a few hours now ran back into the shop paintbrush in hand.
"I'm fine…" Sanzo muttered to himself as he stood, "stupid furnace…"
Returning to the task of boiler repair he ignored Gojyo as the redhead stood holding onto the door frame.
"…oi…" Hakkai motioned the sleepy Gojyo over. They walked out the front door and into the busy street.
The kappa stared at the 'bakery' window; a large splash of blue had been painted with fluffy white clouds. In front of the sky a detailed orange paper plane flew brazenly on. The redhead raised an eyebrow, "um… Hakkai…"
Hakkai held out a piece of paper with a messy sketch on it, notes scribbled in the margins in the priests handwriting. "I don't want to talk about it." He stuffed the paper back into his pocket. Dipping his paintbrush into the orange and resuming his task.
"So what's our excuse for leaving today?" Gojyo teased the end of a misplaced tress.
"I told Sanzo we would be leaving to get sake he had no problem," Hakkai detailed a wing on the plane.
"Huh… okay then."
"GOJYO!" Sanzo's voice boomed from within.
The redhead cringed and went inside.
----
I had only been eight when the furnace blast had woken the kappa. Now, four hours later he wished for battle with demons over the insane monk and whiny pet.
Sanzo had woken Goku moments after calling Gojyo inside and the two had been set to work fixing sinks, ovens, and broken cupboards. The only thing not in need of repair was the overly large refrigerator located at the back of the facility; which had last night been filled with perishables from the market.
The priest himself was writing calmly yet quickly in the office and making sense of records and bills from the center room.
----
Three o'clock came all too slowly and Gojyo and Hakkai nearly ran as they exited the 'bakery' leaving Goku clawing at the door.
"Please don't leave me here alone again!" The saru slumped sadly until Sanzo walked out of his office and shot a 'get back to work' look at Goku. Who obediently took up his wrench and dragged himself over to the last of the broken ovens.
"Stupid Sanzo…mumble mumble mumble… what is wrong with him any way…." Goku couldn't get the oven to work and frustrated whacked the machinery with a screwdriver. Suddenly he felt a foreboding presence at his back. He turned around and gave his best idiot face as the monkey looked up at Sanzo smiling "eh-heh."
----
Standing in the center of the city Hakkai and Gojyo stared at the colossal building in front of them.
"A library?" The redhead had both hands in his pockets and a cigarette drooping from his lips.
"Precisely!" an all too happy feminine voice came from behind them. Kanzeon was striding up the steps towards the men visibly brimming with pride and delight. "Follow me to the book of curses boys," she hooked her arms around their shoulders without missing a beat in her stride and pulled Hakkai and Gojyo into the building.
Yes, a bakery! Don't scoff!
Just think of all the tasty pastries and cookies shaped like little white dragons we can make! Not to mention the possibility of putting all four Saiyuki cuties in aprons
Discover what the book of curses contains in chapter three: Tome of Blaspheme
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: I warned you all that my sense of humor was odd! You read it! You can't unread it! Of course I can always change bits if anyone has a particularly good suggestion that I like. Soooo please review.
