Author's note 1: To be clear, I think the Sailor Moon musicals are great. I've been a fan of the Bandai musicals for years and just recently have been making my way through the newer ones by Nelke. Maybe it's because it's been a while since I watched the R season (or maybe I deliberately put it out of my mind?) but I clean forgot just how disturbing certain elements are of this storyline. Petite Étrangère maybe did too good a job of capturing Demande's obsession…

This fic is more a space for me to process watching Petite Étrangère; it has some references to events in the musical but they're not really spoilers.

Also I don't speak French so hopefully the title makes sense.


It's in the middle of one of their totally-studying-pillow-fight-tickle-torture-dogpiles when Usagi has a flashback. Rei notices first, hears a choked sound, sees the utter terror in Usagi's eyes, and immediately rushes to pull everyone off of Usagi. They murmur reassurance (you're safe; they're gone) and reminders (it wasn't your fault; we love you), get her tea and blankets to warm her chilled hands. They hold her when she asks, stay with her until the shaking stops, until the light slowly returns to her eyes. They all sleep over that night.

...

Ami's in front of the steps to Hikawa Shrine when a sudden surge of helplessness overwhelms her. She hugs her books tight to her chest, the edges pressing into her arms, her stomach - what's the use of all this knowledge if - She sucks in air through her nose, focuses on her toes in her socks, in shoes that are standing on Earth - Nemesis is gone, gone -

She feels a warmth at her back and Makoto is there, Usagi and Minako beside her, their eyes and hands steadying her. She nods silently, puts away her books and holds their hands. They take the stairs one step at a time.

Rei's gathering her things at the end of the day when the guitar sheet music for "Eye Candy" slips out of her school bag. Her eyes narrow in irritation - she doesn't remember bringing it - then widen as memories of the attack the evening of the festival rush through her mind. Her heart drops out of her chest just like when their powers had been sucked away, when she and Makoto and Ami had been taken. For all her gifts, she had not foreseen it, had been powerless to stop any of it.

She walks out of the classroom shaking - rage, fury, everything she can muster to drive away that emptiness - somehow makes it out of the building without snapping. The fire inside of her quells slightly when she finds Minako at the gate, watching, knowing. Rei ignores everyone else, walks headlong into Minako's arms. She doesn't cry, just holds on to Minako as tight as she can, as long as she can, while she can.

...

It's after the bread dough has risen and Makoto's punching it back down into the bowl when she remembers her knuckles crashing into a face that had mirrored her own. She backs away from the counter, hears a clatter at the edge of her hearing; she knows her mind is somewhere else but she can't pull herself back to the here and now.

Makoto turns when Ami calls her name softly from the doorway but the sight only reminds her of the way her planet's power had surged from her hands, the agony wrought upon a face that could have been Ami. She sees Ami step forward and steps back instinctively, hands up to plead, to defend. She tries to speak, but she's caught between fight and flight - she didn't mean it, I'm sorry, please I -

She doesn't know how long it takes for the haze to break. Ami's voice is hoarse when Makoto's breathing finally slows enough for her to swallow, for her eyes to focus on Ami - the real one, kneeling down next to her, flour on the floor, on both of them. Ami finishes making the bread for Makoto and they share it with the others when they arrive for another impromptu sleepover.

...

Minako feels the hair on the back of her neck stand up before she completely wakes up. It takes her a long moment - too long, there's no time - for her eyes to take in her surroundings. Part of her recognizes the interior of the subway train but the pitch black outside the windows remind her too much of when everyone disappeared, when she was left alone. Panic begins to pull at her - it's too quiet, too still, something's coming -

Her wand is in her hand and her transformation phrase on her lips when the subway train slows to pull into the station. The doors ease open and a couple enters. They push a baby stroller onboard, a pink blanket tucked around the small child. But the baby's cries are too much. Minako scrambles out of the train, the closing doors catching her shoulder but she barely registers the pain.

She's meant to be at the recording studio but finds herself in front of Usagi's house instead. Minako stands outside the gate, doesn't call, doesn't move any closer but somehow, Usagi's there at the front door, waving, smiling, come in silly, what are you waiting for? When Minako steps inside Usagi's room, she finds the others already there, choosing from a pile of animal pajama onesies. From behind her, Usagi loudly lays claim to the bear while Rei insists that the pig is a better match. Makoto and Ami both reach for Minako, and it's only when she feels their hands gently wrapping around her wrists that Minako finally puts away her transformation wand.

The feeling is still there in the back of her mind but it quiets enough for her to wonder aloud why all the costumes are missing the animals' most important parts. She gets one cackle, three sets of groans, and a frog onesie thrown at her head; something like relief settles around them.

...

(It's long past midnight when they finally give into exhaustion, the five of them huddled together in the middle of Usagi's bedroom floor. It's too crowded and too warm, especially in the onesies, especially with their arms and legs and hands and hair so tightly wound around each other. But on days like this, it's the only way any of them have a fighting chance at getting some sleep.)


Author's Note 2: Fun fact: The senshi vs droid!senshi scene was one of my favorite parts of Petite Étrangère - really great mix of humor and teamwork and badassery. The more I thought about it though, the more horrifying it seemed as a concept, having to kill someone who looks like you and your friends.

Anyway, again, this isn't at all meant to be something condemning the musicals at all, just a look at one of the (many) traumatic incidents these girls have gone through.

Actual fun fact: Act 34 in the live action has Ami and Rei in an elephant and cheetah onesie, respectively, and generally being silly during their sleepover in their secret base - highly recommend it.