Chapter 4
Los Angeles, 20 May 2004
I'm surprised at how much effort it takes to persuade Blue that I want to disappear. In the end, though, she just doesn't seem to care enough either way to argue with me, and she agrees to go back and tell them that she hasn't found me. I do wonder how much I can trust her, but since she's talking about taking a look around the 'pitiful world' she's found herself on, it may not be an issue.
Once she's gone, I quickly pack up as much of my stuff as I can without making it obvious that I've moved out. On a whim, I open the box where I keep a few odds and ends looking for the skull ring. It's not there, and I try to remember where it might be, but come up blank. I can't even remember wearing it since I moved in here, so I'm sort of stuck for ideas. It's one of the few things I have from my previous existence. I mean, it was in my pocket the day Sunnydale collapsed, and it was in my pocket when I got my body back. I assume its ghost was in my pocket before then too, but I really couldn't be sure about that. It's the ring I gave to Buffy when we had our short, magically-induced engagement way back before I realised that I loved her. Somehow, I could never bring myself to get rid of it, and it's been around ever since. I stopped carrying it with me when I realised that it was something I really didn't want to share with Angel. Still, I don't have time to look for it now, and it's probably for the best. I'm supposed to be making a new start on my life, and keeping a memento like that isn't the best idea. I pull my thoughts back to the present, and find the cash I've got stashed about the place, and the bank details for where I've got the rest. It's not a normal bank of course, but demons have to have cash to survive in this human world sometimes, and there are always other demons willing to look after money on the assumption that some of it sticks. Rather like the human world, really.
I consider the total for a few minutes. It's not a lot of money, but I felt it was my moral duty to relieve Wolfram and Hart of whatever I could in that respect, and I reckon it's enough to get me started somewhere else. First stop is a demon I know who can set me up with papers. I'm just going for the bare minimum for now - a UK passport and driving licence. It's going to look like I've just been here on holiday for a few weeks so there's no need for a visa or whatever. It also suggests my initial destination.
The more I think about it, the more I realise that I've come to enjoy the Slayerette lifestyle. I mean, I like a bit of violence more than the next man, and this way I can get what I need without offending my soul, and if I do it right, I may even make some money out of it. I mean, Angel did – before he cut a deal with the devil.
I immediately decide that London's out due to Giles' presence there. He doesn't like me at all, and after that incident with the school Principal, I can't say I really want him too close to me – especially if he's got an army of Slayers working for him now. Still, if I'm in the UK, and fighting demons, then he's pretty much bound to find me eventually. I could go elsewhere, I suppose, but the more I think about going home, the more it feels like the right decision.
It comes to me suddenly in one of those flashes that seem at the same time to be blindingly obvious and immensely stupid. I try to put the thought out of my mind, but it keeps coming back, insisting on being considered. Far from keeping out of Giles' way, I should contact him. I should tell him what's happened, and promise that if he gives me an area of my own to keep demon-free, then I'll stay away from Buffy and her chance of normality with the brooding wonder. (I've got to stop calling him that. Every time I use the word brooding in connection with him it becomes breeding in my head, and that idea is just painful. The idea of little Angels running about with overhanging brows and … and the idea of Buffy being their mother … hurts.)
So, contact Giles, use the fact that he'd do almost anything to keep me away from Buffy, and get my own patch somewhere in England to keep safe. Just as long as it isn't Birmingham. Never could understand the accent. That could just be a plan.
I book into a seedy motel far enough out of LA that I hope no one'll spot me while I wait for my papers to be ready. It doesn't take too long to realise that I've considered the possibilities, and that calling Giles is my best option.
It seems to take longer to persuade his minions that Mr. Giles wants to speak to me. It's only when I say that Buffy might be in danger that I'm put through to the man who's now running the Council of Watchers.
He recognises my voice immediately.
"Spike, if you harm her …"
"Rupert, use your head. I've got not going to bloody hurt her. I had to say something to make your assistant put the call through. I haven't contacted her since Sunnydale, and I don't plan to."
"Then why exactly are you calling? Apart from rather taking the wind out of my celebrations when I heard you might not have survived the battle?" he asks, his voice dripping with venom.
"You seem well up on the news, then. I assume you've heard about Angel? He's come over all human."
"I had heard," he says, willing me to get on with the point of the call.
"So, I thought this'd be Buffy's chance to have that normal life her mum always wanted for her. Thought you'd be keen too. You know - with a human."
"And?"
"And … well, believe it or not, I want her to be happy too. Really. Just … I couldn't bear to see it - not with him."
There's silence on the other end. Old Rupert's not going to make this easy for me.
"So," I continue, wishing I hadn't started this conversation at all. "I was wondering if you'd, you know, let me have a patch somewhere I could keep the demons down. Somewhere back home. Thought about doing it without telling you but with all these new Slayers you've got, I thought it'd be better if I went through you."
"And what do you expect to get out of this, Spike?"
"Well, ideally, I want Buffy to go on believing I didn't make it out of Sunnydale, but, since she's likely in LA by now, it might be too late for that. Next best is if she thinks that the dragon got me. I want the chance to go on with what I was doing with Angel this past year - fighting against the bad guys because it's the right thing to do. Believe it or not, that's what most of this past year has been about."
"I'm not altogether sure I believe that," he mutters.
"So, have you any evidence that I've done something I shouldn't have? Any evidence I've been feeding? Killing humans? Even killing demons that weren't dangerous? You've been keeping tabs on Angel - I know you have. Andrew as good as told us that when he collected Dana."
"Just because I haven't been able to gather any evidence, doesn't mean it didn't happen."
"Don't be bloody stupid, man," I almost yell, more irritated by his attitude than I expected to be. "I'm offering you a fighter - someone you consider dispensable. Send me somewhere you don't expect me to survive, if you like. Send me somewhere that's not home if you want. Just not in the US or anywhere else Buffy's likely to be."
He seems to consider this for a while, but eventually concedes.
"Come to London. I'll arrange for you to be met and brought to somewhere we can talk discreetly. If you can convince me of your intentions, then I'll consider something."
It's the best I'm going to get out of him; I know that. Still, it's enough for now. I arrange for a flight, wishing I still had access to the Wolfram and Hart jet; now that was travelling in style. The alternative in the real world is using one of the demon companies that transport vampires and others with unusual allergies. It means being packed in a crate with little light and almost nothing to do for over twenty-four hours between the crate being sealed and opened at the other end. And during that time, I'll have more time than I want to think about what I'm doing, and how it's all going to go wrong.
