Harry went down to lunch,

What've got this afternoon Draco said.

Defense against the dark arts said Harry at once.

Hang on blaise said seizing Harry's schedule why have you outlined all of Lockhart's lessons in little skulls.

Harry snatched his schedule back.

Why do you think? he said coldly.

They finished lunch and went outside into the overcast courtyard.

Harry saw a mousy haired boy staring at Harry as though transfixed. He was clutching what looked at a ordinary Muggle camera, and the moment Harry looked at him, he went bright red.

All right, Harry? I'm— I'm Colin Creevey, he said breathlessly, taking a tentative step forward aware of Crabbe and Goyle. I am in Gryffindor, too.

D'you think— would it be all right if— can i have a picture? He said, raising the camera hopefully.

A picture? Harry repeated.

So i can prove I've met you said Colin Creevey eagerly, edging further forward. I know all about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You Know Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead. (His eyes raked Harry's hairline) and a boy in my dormitory said if i develop the pictures in the right potion, the pictures'll move. Colin drew in a great shuddering breath of excitement and said, it's amazing here, isn't it? I never knew all the odd stuff i could do was magic till i got the letter from Hogwarts. My Dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures to send home to him. And it'd be really good if i had one of you — he looked imploringly at Harry — maybe your friend could take it and you could sign it?

Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?

Loud and scathing. Ronald Weasley's voice echoed around the courtyard. He had stopped right behind Colin.

Would you like one? Harry said it's worth more then your house.

Weasley drew his wand.

Slugulus eructos he said.

A loud bang echoed around the stadium and a jet of green light shot out of the end of Weasley's wand. Harry quickly redirected. It hit Weasley in the stomach and sending him reeling backwards onto the grass... He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Instead he gave an almighty belch and several slugs dribbled out of his mouth on to his lap.

Now Colin Harry said about that photo.

Harry stood next to Colin smiling warmly as blaise took the photo.

Harry conjured the finished photo.

Here you go Colin Harry said.

Harry went to Defense against the dark arts.

Harry went to the very back of the class.

When the whole class was seated, Lockhart cleared his throat loudly and silence fell.

He scanned the room then pulled a copy of Travel with Trolls, and held it up to show his own winking portrait on the front.

Me he said pointing at it winking as well. Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third class, honorary member of the dark arts defense league and five time winner of Witch Weekly's most charming smile award — but i don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the bandon banshee by smiling at her!

He waited for them to laugh: nobody did.

I see nobody has my books well we are going to have a test to see how much you've taken in—

When he handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, you have thirty minutes — start— now!

Harry looked down at his paper and read:

1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's Favorite Color

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?

On and on it went, over three sides sides of paper right down to:

54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday and what would his ideal gift be?

Harry wrote Nihilus as the name.

He wrote white as the favorite color. Harry wrote to be the celebrity crush of middle aged woman as the answer for his secret ambition. For the greatest achievement Harry wrote the amount of the amount of time he spends working on his appearance. Harry continued doing this writing insulting answers for the questions. Half an hour later Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.

Nihilus? he said who is Nihilus? i think Nihilus is afraid of me, very well to business.

He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.

Now — be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst i am here. All i ask is that you remain calm.

Lockhart placed one hand on the cover.

I must ask you not to said Lockhart whipped off the cover.

Yes he said dramatically. Freshly caught cornish pixies.

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faced and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest.

Right then Lockhart said loudly let's see what you make of them! And he opened the cage.

The pixies shot out of the cage.

Harry snapped.

The pixies froze. They were sent back into the cage.

Maybe don't let cornish pixies in a classroom Harry said.