The Great Hunt for Inklings

There's a guy named Bobby Brown, and he's a Nintendo fanboy. He really wants to fuck an Inkling from Splatoon REAL BAD! He does naughty things to his copies of Splatoon 1 and 2 all the time. He licked his computer screen while watching the trailer for Splatoon 3. He obviously mains Inkling girl in Smash Brothers. He owns a ton of Inkling girl plushies that are rather filthy and dirty for...obvious reasons.

Bobby Brown was a competitive Smash Brothers player. One day he was fighting some other loser who mained Fox. Bobby picked Inkling girl. As they were fighting in their match, in front of a crowd of thousands of other losers watching their serious gamer battle, Bobby was getting really entranced by the Inkling girl he was playing as. Bobby couldn't hold his affections any more. He stopped playing in the middle of the match, ran away to the TV screen, and started to make out with it at where the Inkling was.

Security was called and they had to drag Bobby away. They had to clean the TV screen from Bobby's slobber and saliva. Bobby was put on the electric chair and he was electrocuted to death. His last words were that he loved the Inkling girl.

Sakurai then came over and visited the execution of Bobby Brown. Seeing this fucking loser who was on death row over a fucking Inkling made Sakurai very dissappointed in himself, and Sakurai realized just how pathetic the audience for his game really was.