What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar…

Part XVII…

"So it's Wednesday and things were complicated by a death in our...Well, I like to think of my Master's circle as my own...circle." Jen notes as she drives. "Tuesday morning Mr. Afanas...Turns out he wasn't Baron Afanas after all...Died. Poor Gui still feels terrible about it. I'd just dropped him off with some roses Master Nandor requested for Mr. Afanas' room and the poor, if somewhat terrifying Gui says, man was right there and burned up in a sec. Yikes." shakes head.

"Really Gui was very shaken up though the guys were great about it. The Master even said he'd actually done them a favor as Mr. Afanas was a bit volatile. You never know what he might do, you know? Anyway, I feel bad I wasn't there to help him clean up, but I'd had to get right onto work. Some things at the office and we'd been planning to arrange a meeting with the Fielderson estate about initiating the sale. Poor Gui...Master Nandor was a bit angry but in the end he agreed with Master Laszlo that it was for the best. They held a ceremony and Mr. Afanas' wife and familiar...Yeah, she was his wife, she told them right after he flamed..."

Cut to the front lobby of the community manor…Tuesday morning.

"I really am so sorry..." Guillermo to the Baron's...Well Barren's...Familiar…

"Husband….Can you truly be dead?" the familiar, kneeling by the charred remains, hands in Afanas' ashes.

"You might want to be careful, it's very hot." Nandor urges. "Guillermo, get some water in case she burns herself."

"They say butter is better for burns..." Laszlo notes.

"No, I have read it is not..." Nandor counters. "Wait..."

"Husband?" He, Laszlo, the stunned Nadja…

"We married in 1943, after I helped him escape his confinement at the Nazis' Todt Korps installation."

"Death Corps?" Laszlo stares. "I had heard rumors…."

"Wait..." Nadja frowns. "You married the Baron...Barren,,, in 1943? How old were you?"

"Twenty two...I was a worker in the camp, a Jew from Spain...The bastard Fascists handed us over to the Germans when they requested any with experience with the Undead. My father was a great vampire hunter."

"Twenty-two?" Laszlo blinks. "But this is 2019, you'd have to be..." calculates…98,"

"I'm 99." the familiar shrugs. "A dose of Barren's blood, it's kept me aging slowly."

"But your father was vampire hunter?" Nadja...All three vampires pulling capes up in terror as if expecting stake-bearing vampire hunters to flood the room. Guillermo staring...

"Who taught me all he knew...But in course of working with him, I came to realize vampires are not truly pure evil." the familiar notes.

"Now see here...We're very evil." Laszlo, a bit miffed.

Reputation to think of…

"You must kill to live and you sometimes relish it, but no more than humans do and you still care for your families, you can love." she shrugs. "And Barren was so charming then, so helpless a victim, like me. And had no prejudices. He saved me from a guard who would have raped me, then killed me to conceal his having had sex with a Jew. He did kill and he had his rages but all-in-all he was a good and loving husband." she smiled fondly.

"I'm so sorry..." Nandor patted her gently. "You may take vengeance if you like...Guillermo?"

Guillermo, sighing…Uh-boy…

"That is not necessary. It was an accident, the boy is not to blame. Besides...Barren was dying."

"Dying? What?" Laszlo, looking at the others in turn in puzzlement. "But he's Immortal? A bit decrepit but..."

"He was exposed to too many substances during the experiments...Over time they affected him. Not his appearance, that was something else. But he was weakening in body and mind." she sighs.

"And his sex drive was just fading away..." renewed sigh.

Eehew...Collective thought…

"You mean he didn't come here to conquer America?" Laszlo eyes her.

"Of course not...He's no fool with grandiose dreams like Hitler. Besides he loved America...They crushed the Nazis and forced out the Communists who took our home in Hungary, his ancestral castle."

"So he was a Baron..." Laszlo…

"No, a third son of a minor knight, but the last descendant living made a fortune in industry and had bought the place, he took it as rightful heir when that one passed away...I loved it, a grand place. We really brightened it up after the war till the Communists took over fully. But of course we had to conceal our marriage once word spread he had returned home. From both the living and dead..."

Cut to Laszlo seated in living room later…

"Yes, I'm afraid there's some prejudice among vampires against human-vampiral mating, at least when it's official. Always has been, it's unfortunate. After all, we were all human, once. Of course there is the practical difficulty such marriages pose...Official records, weddings and receptions at night, human inlaws become off limits to casual killings..."

Back to Mrs. Afanas…

"During the Soviet years, it wasn't a problem so much...Vampires were too busy dodging the governments like everyone else the Communists disliked. But in the 1970s things became less oppressive and people in our community, human and vampire, started to notice us. Barren felt it was dangerous for me...Sweet lover." fond pat of ashes.

"Really, careful there." Laszlo notes.

"So, in 1979, I took the guise of his familiar and remained so for forty years."

"Very nice..." Nadja nods. "Bit of a sacrifice, apart from the near-slavery, he having no genitalia."

"We found ways to compensate..." very fond smile to ashes.

"Ah, yes..." Laszlo nods. "He was very good at compensation...So, why did he come to America?"

"He wanted to see it. He knew his time was short and his mind starting to go a bit. So we decided to come. He knew he'd have to give a good excuse like conquest to explain our leaving...So many young vampires eager to take his seat on the European Union Vampire Council, they'd pounce and literally on us both, if they knew the truth."

"Poor fellow..." Nadja shakes head. "So this really was a vacation?"

"His last chance to tour a bit, try the locals' foods and the local for food, see Disneyland and Mount Rushmore...New York City above all..." tearing. "He knew he might not live to see everything but he did see a bit of New York, thanks to you good friends." teary smile. "He loved his time here...And he finally got to try pizza pie."

"My heart is heavy with sorrow for you, Mrs. Afanas." Nandor, gravely. "I wish he could have lived to see more and to see our new home."

"I showed him the pictures. He loved it." beam…

"You know, you should continue his journey..." Laszlo suggests. "You should go on to see all he could not."

"I intend to. That was our plan if he were to pass." she notes, rising. "After we give him a proper ceremony, I shall take his ashes and scatter them across this wonderful new world. At all the places he wished to see."

"Wonderful notion..." Laszlo nods. "In a sense he will conquer America."

"Yes, yes...And you must begin by scattering a few here...Well, that's already done...And at our new home...Perhaps in the woods, there, too?" Nandor, eagerly.

No way he's getting into our beautiful new carpets...Nadja, Laszlo did not say...

"That would be a fine honor to him, thank you." bow.

"This is a lot to do for a 99 year old human..." Nadja eyes Mrs. Afanas. "Even with slowed aging...Are you sure you can manage? Perhaps, if it was your husband's intent that you join him in Immortality at some point...We could…?"

"No...We considered that but frankly, Immortality can drag a bit, over time. And Barren wished to have an end, at least on Earth, and see what lies beyond. He has an adventurous soul, in truth." smile.

"We all saw that last night..." Laszlo, kindly agreement.

"Yes, I will be quite all right for the journey, as I am...And when I have traversed this great new world and seen all we planned to see, leaving a bit of Barren at each place, I will end my life and join my husband's soul, wherever it has gone."

"Oh...This is beautiful..." Nadja sighs. "We should do this, Laszlo, if one of us ever dies. Probably you from stupidity."

"Certainly, indeed." Laszlo, clearly not eager to die first…Sighing at Nadja's wistful look…

Oh very well…

"I promise to kill myself, after doing any remaining business we discuss, after you die, if you ever die...Which I pray never comes." he nods.

"And I pledge to do the same, my beloved...I might go see my ancestral home once more and perhaps your family place in England, scatter your ashes there."

"Yes, I like that...Sort of going full circle through existence..." Laszlo nods.

"Love is beautiful, isn't it Guillermo?" Nandor sighs.

"It will come again for you, Master." Guillermo pats him.