Chapter Nineteen: Sunny

JANUARY FIRST!

God, I thought it would never get here. Last year was so crazy and confusing, I just prayed it would end. IT TOOK FOREVER.

Not that this year hasn't started off with a total bang. Bang as in BANG BANG. Dawn wouldn't appreciate my analogy. Bang means gun and gun means the root of all evil.

However, no guns were involved. Just a series of coincidences that led to me in a strange situation I could not have ever guessed. Well, maybe in some crazy fantasy that I would have loved to dream about for week.

But it's not a fantasy. But - from the beginning!

Being New Year's Eve and all, I decided that I should go to a party. I assigned Ducky to come with me, so he did, bringing along Justin and Alex.

When we got to the party (which was at a friend of Justin's house) I pulled Ducky aside. "This isn't some sort of double-date, is it? Because remember what happened the last time someone tried to set me up with Alex?"

"A, no. And B, he's changed," Ducky said. "Besides, he's not dating right now. He mentioned something about not even bothering with dating until after he graduates."

I nodded. "Okay, just checking."

"Because I know you want to go scam on every other guy here."

Again, I nodded. "Just the straight ones."

He laughed. "All right, all right. Just be careful, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise," I said. A promise that I broke, by the way.

I was really glad that Dawn wasn't there to give me disapproving looks as I chugged down drink after drink. It sucked that her dad wouldn't let her go out in fear that she would be out with Christian and get her pregnant or something.

The party was great. I met Justin's friend, Eric, who is way hot, great arms. He seemed pretty interested in me, but something was telling me not to go there. Besides, it was early. Why would I want to settle down with one guy at nine?

Though Eric can dance. But he was busy playing host. He did make me a Cosmo which had way too much alcohol for my taste, but it was okay. He was being thoughtful.

It's not my fault I don't like beer which seems to be the only thing you can ever get at these parties. I guess it's easier to access than anything else. But Eric's parents have a very extensive bar. It was locked, but Eric picked the lock for me. He put it back, though, so people wouldn't be able steal all.

Which was smart. He did steal the vodka and we made spiked punch. It wasn't going nearly as fast as the beer, so I was pleased to find that I had plenty to drink.

Ducky drank one with me. He called me a lush, I said he could only hold girl drinks and we laughed. We were planning on spending the night, as opposed to driving home late on New Year's. So Ducky felt comfortable to drink.

Alex didn't drink. He looked pretty longingly at it, but he didn't have any. Instead, he drank a Coke and was pretty quiet.

"How are you?" I asked him.

"Socializing is still pretty new."

"You look like a deer in headlights," I said.

"Oh, good, then it shows."

I laughed. This was NOT the loser Alex I remembered. Actually, he seemed like a pretty cool guy.

"So," I said, "what did you think of coming back to good old Palo City and your friend Ducky was dating a guy?"

Alex shrugged. "It wasn't a surprise. I knew he wasn't straight. And when he was all nervous about telling me, it was just natural seeming."

"Can we stop talking about me like I'm not here?" Ducky asked. He handed me another shotglass of punch.

"This is fun," I said after we downed them.

He nodded. "This is. We haven't had time to just hang out like this... not since Thanksgiving."

Justin came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Ducky's neck. "How's it going?"

Ducky and I exchanged a look. His look was "what do you think?" and my look was "Oh my god, you guys are so hot." I don't know when it happened, but the two guys thing is really attractive to me. It's a little creepy sometimes since it's Ducky, but oh well.

"It's going great," Ducky replied. He put his hand over Justin's.

Justin grinned. "Great. Anyone up for a dance?"

"I think Sunny is." Ducky gave him a very pointed look.

"Very well, then, but I claim you next."

"Deal. Go."

Without even asking me (not that I minded), Justin took my hand and we went into the living room where the dancing was going on.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

Justin sort of rolled his eyes, but in a good way. "Chris wants us to be friends."

"We're not friends?" I asked.

"Apparently not good enough of friends," he replied. "So I'm taking the first step toward a better friendship. Or pushed into it. I don't know, no offense, but I just don't think about it."

"Our busy teenage lives are just too, well, busy for it."

"That, and... I don't know."

"It's hard to mush groups of friends."

"Exactly. But we have plenty of mutual friends." Justin paused. "But I think Chris is having a harder time with everything that's been going on than he's letting me know."

"I won't be your snoop," I said right away.

"Oh, I know. And I'm not asking you to. I was just saying that... I think he wants as much support around him as possible. And knowing that it all goes around, even to me, it'll make it that much... better? Safer?"

I grinned. "Brownie points for reading Ducky's mind. If I ever had any thought that you were unfit to be his boyfriend, they all just went away."

"I'm so glad I could please the best friend," Justin replied.

"Just because you have the Sunny seal of approval doesn't mean you get off that easy."

"I get off pretty easy," he said, raising an eyebrow.

I started laughing. "Okay, okay, maybe you do get off that easy. You have Ducky's heart and my humor, it's perfect."

I hoped Ducky was wrong. I hoped that things would work out for him and Justin. Because once I really got to know him (or at least, am in the process of it), I really like him. He's a good guy. Truly deserving of my Ducky.

The song ended and as promised, Ducky came over and danced with Justin. I got another drink and found some random guy to dance with.

It was about eleven o'clock at that point, when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Oh, Ducky, come off it. You have a boyfriend way hotter than me to dance... with." My voice got caught in my throat. I forced a big smile to hopefully cover my shock.

Mr. Rutherford shook his head. "My boyfriend may be hot, but you might be able to hold a candle."

I laughed. "What are you doing here?"

"I was invited." He leaned in a little closer. "Turns out I'm a cool teacher. How did I do that?"

Probably because you treat us like humans not chewed bubble gum. Because you're hotter than Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, and the sun? Combined?

"No idea," I replied, trying to stay cool. But staying cool around a gorgeous grown man is way harder than staying cool around stupid teenage guys. "But I'm happy to see you here. It's a nice surprise."

"I didn't come to surprise you," he said, raising his eyebrows.

I probably blushed, but the lights were low so hopefully he didn't notice. "Don't you have to report underage drinking?"

"A lose cool teacher status? I'd rather die."

I laughed. "Okay, okay. So you just watch on the sidelines?"

"Pretty much," he replied. "I have to wonder if it's creepy. I mean, I'm like ten years older than everyone here. At least when I ran into you at the club, there were other people my age there."

"Are you sure you didn't come to surprise me?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. "You seem to be following me."

"I'm not... I'd never! If anyone were to find out... but there's nothing to- I'd-" Mr. Rutherford was stuttering. It was so cute!

I danced a circle around him. "Do you have a crush on me?"

Chances are, if I hadn't had the drinks in me, I never in my life would have asked that, but since I did, I did.

"I'm your teacher," he said. However, he wasn't looking at me like a teacher should be looking at a student.

"This is a high school party."

"Exactly. I'm the only one here drinking legally."

"You should just buy the drinks," I said.

"I'd never do that."

"Gonna tell me the biological reasons why alcohol is bad for undeveloped minds?"

Mr. Rutherford smiled. "Actually, there are none. I mean, in excess, yes, but small amounts of alcohol isn't going to hurt anyone. In other countries, kids drink wine from infancy, and those countries have a lower rate of alcoholism than America."

"Fascinating. Teach me more."

"Can't think of anything."

I took the beer out of his hand. "This is bad for you, then." I took a sip, even though it tasted bad. "Mmmmm..."

"I... think this is a bad place for this."

"It's dark, no one will see," I said, standing on my tip toes, hissing in his ear.

I felt that comfortable hand on my back again. I could practically see the contemplating in Mr. Rutherford's eyes. Him weighing out what to do.

Finally, I took the matter into my own, drunk hands. "I know this house is full of empty rooms. Empty bedrooms."

If I had been in the least more sober, none of this would have happened. But I kept making the moves. I don't know what happened, really. I just know that we didn't make it to the empty bedrooms.

We went upstairs wordlessly. There weren't as many people upstairs as there were on the ground floor, but they were here and there. We found a dark hallway and that was when Mr, Rutherford pushed me against the hallway wall and kissed me rather roughly on the mouth.

"Ohh," was what came out of my mouth when he was done. "Wow."

"I've wanted to do that for a while now."

"Mr... Ruther...ford?" It felt weird to call him that when his tongue had just been in my mouth.

He laughed. "Call me Lew."

"Lew," I repeated.

"It's short for Lewis."

"Lewis... don't you have a really cool middle name?" I asked.

"No," he replied. "And I'm not saying what it is."

I slipped my arm around his neck. "Maybe I can get it out of you."

"Never. It's my deepest, darkest secret."

I did a terribly unsexy pelvic thrust sort of thing against his thigh. I raised an eyebrow. "Somehow, I think it's not anymore."

He kissed me again, this time moving his mouth down my neck and over my shirt. He bypassed my boobs (which, in my experience with guys, this doesn't happen) and dropped onto his knees. He reached up under my skirt.

"Mis... uh, Lew?" I said.

He was kissing my panties, and I had to admit it was a total turn on, except for one detail. He looked up at me. "Don't worry, this isn't bad."

"I know it's not," I said, "but, uh... not tonight?"

"No time like the present," he said. His fingers pulled on the waistband of my panties and started to pull them down. "Women should never wear underwear."

I slapped my hands over his to stop him. "I'd be all for it, except I'm currently... I'm wearing a tampon."

Lew laughed, resting his head against my thigh. His hair tickled. He looked up at me again. "I know you're used to high school guys. Believe me, Sunny, men aren't phased. The decent ones anyway."

Looking back on it, this probably wasn't decent, but I went with it.

"Well... okay."

Consent given. Which made me think of that discussion with Dad about the age of consent. I wondered again what it was, but it didn't seem to matter when Lew has his mouth on my crotch.

Dark hallway and half drunk on my period was NOT my fantasy. I felt half aware and what I was aware of was wondering what I smelled like down there and if I was leaking. If it was bad, Lew didn't make any notice of it.

However, the fact that Lew Rutherford, my bio teacher that I've been crushing on all year just went down on me was a good fantasy come true. Circumstances, whatever. Worse things have happened.

"Sunny," he said in this husky voice, "you know you can't tell anyone about this. Not your friends, not anyone."

"I know," I said, even though my first instinct was to go report the events to Ducky.

"I've been so attracted to you since you walked into the door on the first day. Last year, Sunny, before you were even in my class. God, I've wanted you."

"I've wanted you too," I said.

"Then..." He buried his face in my neck for a moment. He looked at me. "Sunny, I don't want to stop. I don't want this to be some stupid fling at some stupid party."

No words. I couldn't speak.

He wrote down his address on a slip of paper. He gave it to me. He slipped it in the waistband of my panties so I wouldn't lose it and no one would see it.

He left. I fell asleep, missing it flipping over to midnight.

I would have thought it was all a dream, except I woke up with that paper in my underwear.

Now, I'm one confused Sunny. I can't tell anyone. I can't ask anyone for advice. Do I continue?

I want to. I want to so badly.

All the things that could go wrong seem trivial. The common sense part of me says that they aren't and things probably will go wrong, but who am I to tempt fate when it's screaming in my ear? How could I say no, when he's saying yes? When all of me is saying yes too?

It might be wrong. In fact I know it's wrong, but I'm ready to dive in head first.