Summary: There is a new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. She's talented, beautiful, and the most talented Auror of the century. Harry and Ron have a crush on her. Hermione and Ginny are jealous and decide to play matchmaker. Who can they set her up with? Severus Snape. A love/hate relationship.

Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter. Or Severus Snape. Or any other of the fine characters of Mrs. Rowling's series. We do however, own Victoria Cole.

: Chapter 2:

Embarrassing Thoughts

As Harry, Ron, and Hermione took their regular seats, a strong aroma wafted through their lungs. "Blimey, what's that smell?" Ron still couldn't tell the herbs apart, so Hermione took it upon herself to state the obvious.

"Wolf's bane, Ron. We only worked an hour with it in class today."

"Well I didn't know it smelled this bad! Bloody Hell, no wonder Professor Sprout made us wear masks."

"He made us wear masks because too much exposure to the nitrous gasses would cause hallucinations. Why can't you ever listen to the lessons?" Ron looked over towards Harry for help, but his mind was preoccupied.

"There has to be a rule against pairing the same two houses together for every class." Harry said this as Draco and his gang came in torturing one of the puffs from Professor Sprout's class.

"Well it can't be as bad as last year. I heard the new teacher is an auror. She's supposedly the best the ministry's got! I for one am excited to finally learn something in this class..." Hermione chirped pleasantly, pulling a gigantic stack of books out of her bag.

"Wonderful, another Mad Eye! Maybe this year we can avoid being killed?" Ron was still shaken up from the prior experiences he had had with Mad Eye. "Really though, were all these books necessary? My shoulders hurt from carrying them all."

"Really Ronald! Anyone's better than Snape..." Hermione's thoughts trailed off as she thought of it.

"You know she's right Ron. I had enough problems seeing him for Occlumency lessons and potions last year, but think if he actually taught Dark Arts! He'd kill for this job. I take the numerous books as a small price to pay to keep Snape out of this position."

"I suppose." Ron took the top book, Dark Arts and Dark Dealings: The essential lessons, and turned to the first page and began to read with a joking tone. "Lesson one; if you can't outrun the bloody dementor, throw every Dark Arts book you own at it."

"Unfortunately Mr. Weasley, that is not the correct answer."

Ron continued to flip through the book. "Well it would work well enough! These books-"

He glanced up to see an unfamiliar woman standing in front of his desk. Not just any woman. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She had long, flowing auburn hair, piercing blue eyes and clever smile which appeared when he couldn't seem to finish his sentence.

"…uh right…these books…they're just….so, um…" he slowly turned his head to Harry, but couldn't seem to move his eyes from the woman in front of him. "W-what are the books again, Harry?"

Harry straightened his glasses and gulped, apparently in the same state as Ron. "Well, they're uh…very….very, uh…what is it again Hermione?" Harry asked, his gaze as stationary as Ron's.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "They are heavy. Hea-vy? Two syllable word meaning having relatively great weight? Honestly!" she elbowed both of them before reaching her hand out to the new woman. "Hermione Granger," she smiled. "And those two in a trance are Ronald and Harry."

"Ah, the famous Harry Potter. And you're Arthur Weasley's son, right?"

Harry and Ron nodded like buffoons, mouths still wide open. The woman smiled as she said, "You two are infamous at the Ministry. They've gone through quite the ordeals to clean up some of the messes you've made. Thankfully I was never one to clean them up."

She glided towards the front of the classroom, her robe flowing behind her. Ron and Harry still couldn't take their eyes off her, but neither could any of the boys in the classroom. Hermione leaned over to whisper to them, but her wit was futile. "Where does she get off raving about your reputation in the ministry. Honestly I just don't--" Hermione stopped talking when she saw the woman walk up to the board.

She waved her right hand across the board as she recited a spell under her breath. Beautiful gold lettering appeared on the blackboard, while the woman stood magnificently before them.

"My name is Professor Victoria Cole. I am an auror from the Ministry of Magic, but I will be acting as your Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher during the course of this year." She raised her right hand again and muttered the same incantation as before, only this time, new words came up in the place of her name.

Ron leaned towards Harry, "She is new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?"

"I suppose so... She doesn't look like an auror. Well, I guess, she doesn't look like Tonks," Harry replied. Tonks had never had such eyes.

Hermione joined in the conversation, quietly adding, "Really, it doesn't matter what an auror looks like! They're brilliant at tracking dark wizards. Though, I must say, she looks a bit too young to have found many."

"Ms. Granger." Hermione snapped to attention as Victoria turned her blues eyes on her.

"Ten points from Gryffindor. I won't have my class turned into a mockery. Pay attention to what I have on the board." Victoria resumed her normal tone and left Hermione in awe. Ron and Harry chuckled under their breaths, but Hermione shot them a mortified look. It looked to them as if she was going to cry. They turned to Victoria and tried to listen to the lesson plan.

"Come on, there must be someone who can tell me the answer to this riddle." Harry looked up at the board. In the same gold lettering, there were four lines of rhyme.

Resign thy feelings and be not swayed

Unarmed emotions leave you betrayed

Eye to eye, we'll battle our minds

Keeping all those cherished, resigned…

"A riddle?" Lavender asked with a giggle from the other side of the room. "What does solving a silly riddle have anything to do with the Dark Arts?"

Victoria turned calmly with a poised smile. "Miss Brown, I take it?"

Lavender nodded.

"My dear, it is the answer to the 'silly riddle,' as you put it, which concerns the dark arts, and most likely any hope you have of defending yourself against them."

Lavender shrunk in her seat as her seemingly innocent question fizzled into the atmosphere. Victoria's eyes roamed the room, pausing on Harry as he stared at the board.

"It's occlumency." Everyone turned to look at Harry, who was as surprised as everyone else. Did I just say that? Harry looked at Victoria, who looked straight into him. He broke the stare and knew what she had been trying.

"And, err, well, obviously, legilimency as well." A long smile appeared across her face and after what seemed like an eternity, she spoke. "That is correct Mr. Potter. Ten points to Gryffindor."

Draco Malfoy let out a short laugh with a scowl. "You're going to teach us occlumency? That's mad."

Victoria recognized his pale features and slick hair, the permanent scowl that seem etched into his face. She saw his father day to day at the ministry, and more than once knew that she had seen him at night as well, under the dark robes and mask of a deatheater. "And why would that be, Mr. Malfoy?"

"You think you can teach us occlumency? I highly doubt that." Malfoy leaned back in his seat, a self-satisfied sneer replacing the normal scowl. Victoria could sense the obvious confidence, something of challenge. She returned Malfoy's sneer with a small snigger.

"What's so funny, Professor?" Malfoy slurred the word with malice. Victoria maintained her composure, making sure her words were correct.

"Normally, occlumency is done between two people. It's an extremely hard skill to master, in fact, very few have this rare skill. It's opposite, Legilimency, is something that could truly injure your opponent. Since your mind is too weak, Mr. Malfoy, I shall be needing someone with a little more experience." Harry could feel his face heating up. Victoria needed a strong-minded partner, and there was only one other professor who could possibly help her.

"But today, I will be demonstrating the effects of legilimency on someone who has not yet mastered occlumency." She suddenly grinned.

"Mr. Weasley. You will be my volunteer." She motioned for him to stand and join her at the front of the class.

Ron stifled a gulp and whispered to Harry, "Doesn't a volunteer actually have to be willing to participate?"

Hermione laughed quietly, "Oh go on, Ron. She won't tell the class anything you don't want them to hear."

"I'm more worried about what I don't want her to hear."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Believe me Ron, she already knows that. What with the two of your mouths hanging wide open and what not," she trailed off in an angry tone, turning slightly red.

Victoria cleared her throat. "Mr. Weasley? Shall we?" Again she motioned to the front of the room.

"Bugger," Ron breathed. Harry chuckled into the table, happy it wasn't him. He and Hermione watched Ron drag his feet to the front of the room. His gaze remained on the floor until Victoria cleared her throat.

"Mr. Weasley, I'm up here." Ron's eyes filled with mortification and snapped his head up.

"Sorry, I--" Ron trailed off as Victoria caught his gaze. As they continued the stare, Harry watched with intent. Victoria seemed to know what she was doing. Ron barely made an effort to escape the interrogation, but it gave him an excuse to stare deeply into Victoria's endless blue eyes, so there was no reason for him to try to escape.

It hadn't been more than a minute when Victoria broke the trance. Ron shook his head and searched the room. He held his head in one hand and leaned against Victoria's desk. Victoria pulled something out of one of the drawers and handed it to Ron. It was a large chunk of chocolate, something Ron took gratefully. "You may take your seat Mr. Weasley."

"I have just taken a glimpse at Mr. Weasley's mind," she now spoke loudly to the class, in a lecturing manner. "Now let's see..." she searched her mind. "You are terribly afraid of spiders, yes?"

"Yeah, sort of," Ron said hesitantly. Victoria smiled lightly, resuming her train of thought. "With the practice of the Legilimency, one can see into another's thoughts, ideas, wishes, even dreams. Mr. Weasley, in your dreams, do ever tire from tap-dancing for the spiders?"

Harry let out a single loud laugh. "I can attest to that." Ron elbowed him harshly in the ribs.

"Shu' up!" Blood rushed to the surface of Ron's face and ears, and it seemed to spread down his neck. Victoria smiled a little before continuing.

"Yes, you seem to be quite talented in that arena of sport. Perhaps you should pursue it instead of goalkeeping on the quidditch field." Laughter now exploded from the Slytherins, along with the beloved chant, "Weasley is our King, Weasley is our King, He always lets the Quaffle in, Weasley is our King." Victoria tried to quiet the classroom, and managed to bring it back to a low hum.

"But, while Mr. Weasley isn't tap-dancing, he's going through the different colors of undergarments he should wear for the day. Lucky burgundy or 'bad in plaid'?"

Ron was absolutely maroon at his point. He sunk down in his chair as the students burst with laughter.

Victoria smiled at Ron's embarrassment, but also at the class. "I'm so happy that you all are enjoying this exercise. So much, in fact, that you will all experience it." The class's laughter died down as Victoria called the next student. She spent no more than thirty seconds with everyone, and told no more than one embarrassing secret with the class. Once Lavender had gone, Ron's color had returned to normal. Hermione, Harry, and Draco were left. Hermione was next, but she didn't seem afraid. She walked up to Victoria, head held high.

"I suppose you have nothing to hide then, Ms. Granger?" Hermione's spine prickled, but she held her composure.

"Nothing terribly embarrassing Professor." Her tone was defiant, no doubt her pride was still broken from earlier in the class.

"Wonderful. Let's take a peek." Victoria and Hermione shared the gaze longer than the rest. It was even longer than Ron's. A couple of minutes later, Victoria let go. Hermione nearly collapsed on the floor, but found the desk instead.

After a moment of silence while Hermione walked back to her seat, Victoria finally spoke. "Ms. Granger's only embarrassing thoughts concern her passionate crush on Mr. Weasley."

Hermione looked up from her seat at Victoria, unbelieving of what she had just heard. Victoria looked defiantly at Hermione, knowing she had won the battle that day. She grabbed her books and stormed out of the room, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Victoria continued on with her lecture, "No matter how hard you try to hide your secrets, your opponent will always find them unless you use occlumency." Harry sat back in his seat, dying to run after Hermione. Ron stared at his side of the desk, not knowing what to say.

Victoria looked around at the class and announced, "That's all for today. Please read chapters three through seven for tomorrow in Dark Arts and Dark Dealings: The essential lessons. And Mr. Weasley, will you please stay here for a moment?" Harry stood up and left with the rest of the class.

He decided to try and find Hermione, maybe comfort her. But his mind was elsewhere. As he left the classroom, his last glimpse was of Professor Cole and Ron, chatting as if they were old friends.