Chapter 25 - 6 July 2005, Alternate Dimension

Leaving that force field was hard. I was tempted to keep kicking at it and willing it to let me through, but I know it'd be futile so I move back the way we came. I'm drawn to that room with the crystal. I know Spike's wary of it. He said he could feel the magic emanating from it, but that's not what I felt. I felt a sense of me, of familiarity. My steps are drawn back to it without conscious thought. As I approach the room, the throbbing that I feel is almost hypnotic, perhaps like the effect of a mother's heartbeat on an unborn child. It's telling me that I'm at one with that … power.

I try the handle, surprised to find that it's not locked, but the reason for that is immediately obvious. There's another barrier. I can feel it, an apparently solid surface, and I place both hands on it, willing it to let me through. To my surprise, its texture changes – from feeling completely smooth and solid like a pane of glass, it starts to ripple, as if something's trying to break it down. I've got a direct view of the crystal from here, and oddly, the rippling I can feel in the force field is mirrored in the crystal. I can't explain how, but I know that the crystal is trying to bring down the field. It wants me to come to it, but when the rippling remains constant without allowing me through for several minutes, I know this is something I can't do alone.

If there's one thing this last year or so has taught me, it's that I'm not alone. Sharing my Slayer power was, at the same time, the easiest and the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't ask to be called. I didn't ask to be singled out, to be the Chosen One. But, once the power was mine, living without it? So not an option. It's part of me, like the colour of my eyes or needing to wear heels just to reach some shelves in the supermarket. Not being the only one, though? Now that I've experienced that, there just isn't a downside.

I head back to where the other Slayers are waiting. It's a tribute to Giles' new training regime that they've actually done as they were told. I doubt I would have. But then, being without the power they've come to trust isn't easy - especially if you haven't actually had the power very long.

Once inside, I find them grouped in threes and fours, and I'm almost relieved that at least some of them are considering getting out of that room and doing something. I call them together and tell them what I'm planning.

It doesn't surprise me that I'm not the only one drawn to that crystal. What is surprising is that they all agree that they didn't feel that before today. Whatever's changed, every instinct I've got tells me that this is the right thing to do. We agree to leave our captive where he is, and I make doubly sure that he's securely tied. Then, we make our way to the crystal room. Once there, I put my hands back on the field, and I'm joined by Angelique and the girl she called Linda. There isn't really room for others right there, but they instinctively line up behind us, their hands on our shoulders, and with each Slayer who joins the chain, the field weakens more, until with a stumble, we almost fall through the doorway. The patterns in the crystal change, and if I didn't know better, I'd say they become joyful and expectant. I approach, and the other girls form a circle around it, with others encircling them. Together, on my word, all of us who can reach it put two hands on the surface while others make contact through those who're closer, and it's like coming home.

There's a hesitation at first. It's as if the power has been warded by something, but, first as a trickle and then as a flood, I feel the energy rushing into me. I'm barely able to wrest my concentration away from what's happening, but I glance at the faces I can see, and it looks like they're feeling the same way.

And then, I sense another presence in the room. I can feel him - alien, not a part of this - and the room itself seems to be trying to repel him. With a supreme effort of will, I look around, but all I see is a blonde, navy-suited man, desperately trying to reach the outer ring of Slayers, but it's as though he's being pushed away, like two magnets placed north pole to north pole. The look on his face is one of absolute fury, and he's trying even harder, but he just can't do it. In fact, as time goes on, the distance between him and the closest Slayers is increasing.

I'm aware of other things too. Fights against demons I've never seen, flashes of cities I've never visited. This is raw Slayer power, and laced in with it are memories more numerous than I can understand.

By this time, everything seems surreal. I'm more aware of the power than I've ever been, but there's more. I can feel Spike, and I know he's in pain, serious pain. I know that this … man … is responsible for that pain, and that Spike believes he's finished. Maybe he already is but I don't understand how I know this.

All I know is that Spike has been broken, and there's no way I can get away from here to fix him.