February 22nd
I can't believe it. I'm dying of shock here. I can't believe the lies I've been told. I feel completely deceived and undermined.
Today started off as normal as any other. I met Justin outside before last period. This is becoming a fairly normal thing. I really enjoy hanging out with him. I don't know what it is. We just seem to get along really well.
It's not exactly a secret that I hang out with Justin, but there is this awkward feeling of picking sides between Justin and Ducky because they don't really hang out together anymore. And I haven't hung out with Ducky in a while. I don't know if my hanging out with Justin has anything to do with it, or if it's just scheduling.
Either way, I'm NOT picking sides. At least I hope I'm not.
"You know," Justin said as I jogged over to him, "it's probably a bad thing to get senioritis in your freshmen year."
"It's P.E.!" I exclaimed. "I'm not wasting my time with P.E. when I could be hanging out with you. Besides, I only miss it like twice a week."
"You only have P.E. twice a week." He crossed his arms over his chest.
"If someone missed me, they would say something. No one's even noticed that I'm gone. And have you seen Ms. Laymen lately? She sleeps through class. Everyone's getting A's for sitting around."
"Really?"
I nodded. "We sit around and do homework. Sometimes she has us kick a soccer ball around. Given that she's awake for class. I promise, this is way better. I'm actually moving."
"I'm taking your word for it, Dawn. If you're lying to me, it's on my head." Justin shook his head, but he was smiling. "So what are we doing?"
"I dunno, movies and pizza?"
"Sounds good to me. Can we stop at 7-11 first? I need milk and soda."
"Sure." I'm used to Justin doing impromptu grocery shopping. He just picks up what he needs when he needs it. And usually more than he planned on getting. As opposed to going shopping once a week or something. However, if I had known what was going to happen at the 7-11, I never would have agreed. I might have even gone to class.
Well, probably not. But I would have suggested some other 7-11.
Justin drove us to there. We were singing along with the radio, having a generally good time. We got out of the car and Justin went into grocery mode.
"Milk," he muttered, grabbed a half gallon. He handed it to me. "Okay, Mountain Dew..."
"Not Mountain Dew," I said. "If you insist on soda, get Dr Pepper."
"Gross, no. You're not going to drink it anyway. And you know it. Grab a juice."
So I got a Orange-Pineapple Guava drink. I helped Justin juggle a 12 pack of Mountain Dew, a roll of paper towels, and three packs of microwave popcorn.
"Should we order pizza or get a frozen one?" Justin asked. He pointed to the freezer case. "Isn't that the one they say is like delivery?"
"Get it. We can test it. But get a vegetarian one, okay?"
He got a five cheese one, since they didn't have any veggie supreme or anything. I set all the stuff on the counter and the guy behind it glared at me. But my arms were getting sore. I was inspecting sugarless gums, when behind me, I could hear Justin talking to someone.
"Kristy! What are you doing here?" He sounded pleased.
I turned around. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was thinking that it couldn't be the Kristy I know. The Kristy I know is in Stoneybrook and there's no way, and no reason, why she would be in Palo City.
But, as I saw, it WAS Kristy Thomas. Justin was giving her a hug. I took a step toward them.
"Hey, Kristy... what are you-" I stopped when I saw the person standing behind her, staring at me like a deer in headlights. I stared back. "Mary Anne?"
Her deer in headlights look dropped and she looked almost sheepish. "Hey, Dawn. I didn't think I'd run into you. I thought you'd be in school."
"You didn't think you'd run into me? I live here! What are you doing here?" I was so confused, and I could feel all the anger at her building up inside of me. I didn't know why, because she was just standing there.
"Well, it's spring break-"
"It's February."
"We had so many snow days, you remember what snow days are, right? Well, we had so many that we needed to make up for them in the spring, so they just made the last week in February spring break. That way we could have our break and not miss as many days. Since we'd probably be missing them anyway."
"Uh-huh." I nodded. "So what are you doing...?"
"Derek flew us out. He invited me, and Dad said I couldn't go alone, so Kristy came with me. Is that too much for you?"
"And no one told me? You didn't even think I could be warned that you were going to be out here? I just talked to Mom the other night. How long have you been here?"
Mary Anne was staring at the ground, so Kristy answered for her.
"We've been here since Sunday. We're leaving on Saturday."
"Okay," I said. "Why didn't anyone tell me?"
"Because I told Sharon not to tell you!" Mary Anne said. "I thought if you didn't know and I could avoid you we wouldn't have to deal with this mess!"
"Whatever. I'm so glad Derek could fly his whore out to California." I spun around and stood at the counter with my back to them. Justin came up behind me. He wordlessly paid for our things. I could hear Mary Anne and Kristy whispering behind us.
"Don't you want to say anything to her?" Justin asked in a whisper as we walked to the door.
I looked over my shoulder for a moment, and, not surprisingly, Mary Anne was crying. A part of me, the part of me that admired Mary Anne's sensitivity, felt a tug of guilt. The rest of me, the part of me that knew the real Mary Anne, didn't care. I looked up at Justin.
"I don't have anything else to say to her."
We loaded the backseat with our groceries (well, Justin's groceries and my juice) and got in the car. Justin didn't start it and we sat there.
"What?" I asked, knowing full and well why we were sitting there. I'd told Justin what had happened between Mary Anne and I a couple weeks ago, so he knew why this was happening.
"Dawn, you should talk to her," he said. "She's the only step-sister you've got."
"We're not going anywhere until I do this, are we?"
"Nope." Justin grinned.
"Fine, fine." I got out of the car, just as Kristy and Mary Anne were walking out of the 7-11.
"Mary Anne, we need to talk," I said. I didn't meet her eyes.
"What?" She stepped off the sidewalk and faced me. "Going to call me more horrible names? Pretend to be me?"
"As long as you don't hurl breakables at my head," I replied.
We stood there for a moment, and then both of us started laughing. Then we hugged.
"This is so silly," Mary Anne said. "Everything worked out, didn't it?"
Which is what I thought all along, but I went with it. "Yeah, it did."
"I promise you, Dawn, Derek and I didn't sleep together either. What you saw... that was as far as it went. I'm not ready for that sort of relationship. Maybe if we saw each other all the time, but probably not. I'm just not ready for that sort of thing. And I probably won't be for a long time. Really, I feel horrible about it."
"Me too," I said. "You're just lucky it was me who caught you and not Richard!"
"I know!" She hugged me again. "Oh, Dawn, I forgive you."
I felt my stomach grow a little nervous. "You... forgive me?"
"For everything that happened. The name calling and masquerading."
"Okay, I get that... but aren't you... going to apologize?"
Mary Anne blinked, looking a little confused. "Apologize? I didn't do anything wrong."
"You treated me like shit over Thanksgiving, threw a vase at my head, and then ignored me and made me feel completely unwelcome in my own house over Christmas."
"Dawn, it's hardly YOUR house."
"What? Of course it is!"
"For the, what? Week you live there a year? It's not much of a home for you. It would be like me saying your house here is my home. Because I stayed for the summer? No, not really."
"Well, you don't have to worry about that for a long time, Mary Anne, because you won't be there again. I never want to see you again. You're a condescending, patronizing bitch!"
She looked shocked. "It's not like you're really innocent here, Dawn."
"You lied to me," I said. "You lied to me, made my mom cover for you, and you tried to sneak around here because you're ashamed. I don't believe that you didn't sleep with Derek, because you wouldn't be sneaking around if you hadn't." I turned to Kristy who was just standing there watching us. "If you're too conservative for a little oral sex or kissing a guy with a boyfriend, you should watch out for Mary Anne the slut!"
I didn't get to see a reaction from Kristy because Mary Anne didn't waste her time throwing things at me. She threw herself at me, slamming me up against the hood of Justin's car. She grabbed at my hair in a moment of a girl fight stereotype. I gave Mary Anne a weak-handed slap across the face.
She gasped and then screamed (no words, just a scream) right in my face, this horrible high pitched scream. I got my hands on her shoulders and shoved her away. It was a lot stronger than I thought it was, because Mary Anne fell back onto the sidewalk.
She jumped back to her feet, but Kristy held her back. It was then that I noticed that Justin had a hand wrapped around one of my arms.
"I know we can't all be perfect like you, Dawn!" Mary Anne screamed. It's lucky that Kristy is stronger than she looks because Mary Anne was struggling.
"I'd rather be imperfect than a lying little whore!" I shouted. "I wonder what would happen if I told your dad what you were doing out here? 'Oh, Richard, I ran in Mary Anne at the 7-11 and I think she was buying condoms. I just thought you should know.'"
"You wouldn't dare lie!"
"I don't know what you just bought."
"It wasn't condoms!" Mary Anne seemed to be breathing steam. I don't think I've ever seen her this angry. Not even when she threw the vase at me. I also believed that she was lying.
"Just be honest," I said, my voice as even as I could get it. "Just tell me something true."
She burst into tears, pulled out of Kristy's grasp, and ran off. Kristy ran after her.
Justin let go of me and I slumped against his car. I could feel a bruise coming up on my thigh where it hit the hood ornament. It's sort of crooked now. "Did that go how you thought it would?" I asked.
"Not really... I wasn't expecting Mary Anne to... attack. It was like watching a FOX special."
I laughed. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"I dunno. You probably wanted to talk to Kristy. And I did sort of put you on the spot there..."
He shrugged. "What happened happened." He paused and gave me a funny look. "You knew about what happened with Kristy and me over the summer?"
"Yeah?" I wasn't sure where he was going with this.
"Did... did Chris know about that?"
"I don't know. I don't think so. I know I didn't tell him. Everyone else who knew is in Stoneybrook. Unless she told Sunny. She really didn't give us the detail. Don't worry,I'm not, like, accusing you of anything. Except of what happened. And that... you know, happened."
Justin nodded.
"Well, this just killed the day, didn't it?"
He nodded again.
I sighed. "I hate her."
"Don't."
"I can't help it. Every time I see her, she just ruins everything. She ruined our day, she's ruined my home. She's even trying to ruin the city I live in. She just a life ruiner."
"A life ruiner... we should rent Mean Girls. I love that movie."
I stared at him for a moment. I couldn't believe that after all that, he related to a quote from a movie. Then I smiled. "I love that movie too."
"Then it's decided!"
We rented the movie and the day wasn't really ruined. We ended up having a good time. Now I just have to do what I can to avoid Mary Anne for the rest of the week.
February 23rd
So much for avoiding. I was getting books out of my locker, getting ready to innocently catch a ride with Justin home, when I felt a hard tap on my shoulder. I turned around and it's Derek.
I tried to keep my face emotionless. "Hey."
"What did you do to Mary Anne?" he asked.
"I didn't do anything she didn't deserve."
"You hit her!"
"She threw me against a car." The bruise on my thigh isn't very big, but it's not going anywhere anytime soon. I didn't think that was the thing to mention to Derek.
"That doesn't give you the right to hit people," he said.
"I don't know what Mary Anne told you, but it's not like I started this. It's not like she's completely innocent here."
"She was up all night crying."
"Well, that sounds like Mary Anne. You'd think her eyes were gutters." I felt mean, especially since Mary Anne wasn't even there, but it came out so quickly.
"Look, it's not like me to confront a girl about something-"
"Then don't."
I looked over to my left and Christian was walking up next to me. I had called him last night. He told me he'd clobber Derek if he tried anything, but I didn't think he would. He'd been following me around between classes, going out of his way since we never even pass each other in the halls. It was really sweet, but I don't believe in violence as a solution to anyone's problems.
Not that I'd been really doing a good job at that. Or using reason to solve my problems.
"This doesn't concern you," Derek said, seeming to be towering over Christian. They're actually about the same height, Christian's a little shorter, but Derek is a big guy. Christian is pretty skinny.
"Actually, it does. But if you leave Dawn alone, then it won't concern YOU," Christian said.
Despite the amount of chivalry happening here, I had to step in. "Christian, it's okay. Derek, just tell Mary Anne to leave me alone for the rest of the week." I almost added "Or I'll give her something to cry about," but that implied violence and sounded way too much like something someone's father would say.
"Fine." Derek stomped off.
"I was tough, right?" Christian asked, grinning. He leaned up against the lockers.
"Oh, yeah," I said.
"You got plans for tonight?"
"I've got a date with my math book."
"You're cheating on me!" He laughed and kissed my cheek. "I gotta go."
"See ya," I replied. I walked out to the parking lot where I was meeting Justin. He wasn't the only one there. He was leaning against his car talking to Kristy.
I walked up to them. "Hey."
"Hey," Justin said.
"Hi," Kristy said. She wasn't meeting my eyes, which is very un-Kristy-like.
"What's going on?" I asked.
"Kristy's just telling me how things are going with the lacrosse team," Justin said, his voice sounding oddly even. I took it as a "stay cool, your issues are with Mary Anne, not Kristy" sort or warning.
He was right, of course, so I joined in on the conversation. It was normal, civil.
"Mary Anne would probably shoot me if she knew I was here," Kristy said, "but she and Derek wanted time alone, so I got ditched."
"Hang out with us," Justin said.
"I'm homework swamped," I said. "You guys hang out."
So that's what they did. Justin dropped me off and they left. And now I should be doing homework, like I said I would.
Later, 23rd
I just got off the phone with Justin. I was teasing him about hanging out with Kristy. "Sooo, did anything happen?"
"Happen how?" he asked.
"With Kristy! You're not dating anyone and, well, I'd be shocked if Kristy was."
"No, no, no, nothing like that happened. Kristy isn't... dating. Especially not someone like me."
"Someone like you?"
"She doesn't have a problem, I guess. Not hanging out with me, being friends. Since we had a good time, but..."
"What are you trying to say?" I asked.
"She's changed, that's all. But even if she was still interested, which she isn't, I wouldn't want to do anything about it. She didn't have a lot of great things to say about homosexuality or bisexuality."
"What? Kristy?"
"I know, it shocked me too. She's... found God or something. I don't know. But whatever her deal is, she can overlook Mary Anne's flaws, but not those of Stacey- she didn't have very good things to say about Stacey either. She'd probably stone Claudia if she found out that she and Rico had slept together."
"How did you find out about that?"
"Accident. Either way... it's very hypocritical, I think. Which just doesn't fit."
"I know." I tried to think back and see if there was anything about Kristy that would make her switch into... bigotry? No, that couldn't be it. She let Jessi join the club, and she's black. Kristy is one of the least close-minded people I've ever met. And she was fine with all of Stacey's oral sex just last summer.
"This is so weird," I said. "I have a hard time seeing a close-minded Kristy."
"There's got to be more to it," Justin said.
"We'll probably never find out."
"Nope," he replied sadly. "Probably not."
