Chapter 30 - Glasgow, 7 July 2005
The idea that there are eight Slayers somewhere, in some world where they're being abused or used in some way, and that we can't get them out - it leaves me feeling so damn inadequate, I want to hit something. I think it's had much the same effect on the others. There's silence after Giles' quiet agreement, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
Moira comes in then, reminding me that I need to do something about my front door. Everyone seems to think they can just walk in without a thought and while I see that must've been useful when I was incapacitated, I'm definitely fit enough by now to answer my own bloody door.
As she always does, Moira doesn't immediately ask what�s going on. I'm pretty sure she knows exactly what we've been saying anyway.
She clears her throat, just in case anyone didn't spot her arrival, and I realise that neither Giles nor Gus did spot her.
"Mrs. McConnechie," Giles greets her warmly.
"Never mind the Mrs. McConnechie," she warns him. "You've been calling me Moira for over ten years, so if you've reverted, I'll take that as a sign of a guilty conscience."
"Just ... well, it's been a long time since I've seen you." It's fascinating to see Rupert Giles wrong-footed by this woman. He seems younger than ever - a small child being asked to account for himself by a powerful adult.
"Yes it has, Rupert. But not so long since we've talked. And that's what I'd like to do now. Can you come next door? It really would be better if what I had to say didn't have an audience."
"Would the office not be better?" Giles suggests.
"Not for my purposes," Moira says ominously. "I'll put the kettle on and I'll expect you in five minutes. Spike, can Dawn come in here for a bit?"
"The Bit's always welcome in here, Mrs. M. She knows that, or, at least, I hope she does."
Moira nods at that, smiling at me. I'm sniggering inside at the way she's treated Rupert and me. Rupert's the naughty little boy she needs to speak to privately, and I'm an adult - an equal. Rupert noticed too, and his face reddens just a touch although whether it's embarrassment or anger is hard to tell.
Gus takes his opportunity to retreat upstairs to get back to his role of collating information from all over, and Giles follows Moira next door. A moment later, our peace is shattered by Dawn's arrival. She, of course, wants to know what's happening, so between us, Buffy and I give her the edited version of Giles' news.
She's understandably upset by the apparent fate of the Slayers who're still missing, but by silent agreement, we didn't mention Buffy's intended fate, and Dawn doesn't think to ask about the special treatment that Buffy had.
It's a fairly sombre gathering, and while I'm desperate to try to lighten the mood somehow, I just don't know how to start.
In the absence of anything else to do just now, I turn my attention to the wall separating the two flats and concentrate on trying to hear what Moira's got to say to Giles. Before I can focus on anything more than the general buzz of conversation, I feel a wash of magic coming and I stiffen, worried that something bad is happening. I hear Moira's voice in my mind then, her tone amused.
"Go and flap your ears somewhere else, Vampire. What I've got to say to Rupert is between him and me. You've had your laugh at his expense, but that's all you're getting from me."
Cunning bloody witch. She knows me better than I'd like. Buffy spots me smiling and asks what's up. I tell her, and she grins widely. Somehow, for now, the desolation we all felt a moment ago is broken by that simple gesture.
"How's the tablet?" Buffy asks Dawn.
"Still cooling, but the bit I scraped out of the pan? Mmmm. Sugar paradise."
"Tablet? What's that?" I ask confused.
"Sort of like fudge but different. Moira taught me how to make it. She's going to take it to the Summer Fair at the local Kirk - that's church to you English and American people."
"So, what're you, Bit?"
"I'm an honorary Scot. I've decided."
"Oh, have you?" Buffy laughs back. "Does that mean you're not going back to school in September?"
"Oh, it's a long time till September. We've got so much to do before then."
"Like what?" I ask.
"Well, there's the Slayers to find and bring home, and I want to travel around a bit - see the Highlands, go to Edinburgh, although Moira didn't seem too keen on that idea."
"That's just big city rivalry," I tell her. "Glasgow's the biggest city in Scotland, but Edinburgh's the Capital. There's a lot of banter between people from the two cities, both groups believing they've got the best of it."
"Ah. By the way, Buffy, when are we due to go back?"
"Good thought, Dawn. I need to change our reservations. We were due to go back soon, but with things as they are, I can't see us going back to LA for a while. I hope it's ok with Moira for us to stay with her, but if not, we could always find a hotel."
"Never mind a bloody hotel. If there's a problem with Mrs. M., then you can always stay here - same deal as next door. There's an identical room here - not so well decorated or furnished, I'd wager, but I could sort that out if you like. I can't see Mrs. M. kicking you out though - not her style at all."
"Still, thanks. Hotels are ... restrictive."
"And expensive," I add.
She smiles at that. "Not too bad when the Council's paying," she reminds me.
"Like I'd know about that."
Not sure what to say then, so for once, I keep quiet. Truth is, I'm feeling like I need to do something. All this lying around might have been necessary, but I feel like doing something more worthwhile.
"Spike," Buffy's voice sounds nervous.
"Yes, Pet?"
"Thanks. I didn't get the chance to say it before, what with everything happening, and now I know what they had planned for me - well. After everything I did to you, how Giles treated you, sending you up here, you still risked your life coming after me. I ... do appreciate it."
"Didn't do it for you." My voice sounds uneven, and I swallow in an attempt to calm down a bit. "Did it because I've already seen a world where you were dead. Not planning on seeing that one again."
My concentration's been in Buffy's direction, although I've been looking down. As I finish speaking, I raise my head to look at her properly, but I'm tackled from behind.
"Dawn, what do you think you're doing?" Buffy demands. "You'll hurt him."
She jumps back, mumbling, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just ... I wanted to thank him too. For finding me the other night and for bringing Buffy back. I didn't think much of the world with you dead either."
I stand up and hold my arms out to her. She moves towards me, and I hold her tight, just hugging her. To my surprise, Buffy touches my arm, and I look to find she's beside us.
"Room for another one in that hug?" she asks.
"Only if it's you," I reply, and we both bring her into the circle. Idiot that I am, I feel my eyes misting over, so I blink furiously while no one can see, just enjoying this closeness with my girls. For the first time in forever, I feel like I'm at home - really at home. I've got no real ties to the place, no history here, but it's not the place that means home. Whatever else happens, my only priority is to keep these two girls in my life in any way I can.
I kiss Dawn's forehead and turn around to do the same to Buffy but she's looking up at me and my eyes are drawn to her lips. I duck down and kiss them, pleased that she doesn't turn away. It's just a friendly kiss - couldn't be anything else with Dawn involved like this - but it means everything to me.
