What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar…

Part XXXIV…

Guillermo's cell, about thirty minutes later that evening, or rather very early morning…

"I really should get to bed and sleep a little, Mr. Robinson." He notes to Colin.

"That's fine…I don't mind." Friendly nod. "But if you have any questions about ladies and how to really get them agitated, I'm your man. Though maybe not so much agitated sexually…"

"Thanks…I seem to be getting offered a lot of advice about women recently."

"Laszlo's sure to be next. I'm sure he's itching to go on about his sexual predations and exploits." Colin nods. "I'd like to come by then, if you don't mind."

"I think I would…Please don't."

"Oh…Ok…" shrug. "Well…I'm gonna go see what I can get out of that girl Susan before she falls asleep." Sly grin.

"Just jerkin' your chain, Guillermo." Smile. "And feasting on the reaction…Though not too much, I did promise Nandor."

"I don't need Nandor to drive you away, you foul…!" Guillermo cries.

"Whoa." Colin grins. "Nice. Where did that burst come from? Please, tell me. I really enjoyed that."

"Sorry. I'm a little upset. It was a busy night. But please don't bother Susan."

"Nah, I'm good. And she's actually a bit too content right now to generate a lot for me. I'll leave her be. Have a good one, kid." He pauses. "Unless you don't mind if I…"

"Please…Go…"

"Sure. Say, good luck protecting this crew from Van Helsing if all that's real and the girls weren't just going all Renfeld and such tonight. Though I guess werewolf girl would just go wolf." Chuckle. "God, they are all so dead if that guy's really here. I just hope we get to move in first, I'd really like to use that pool a few more times."

Laszlo, very early morning, in his crypt, in nightshirt, about to retire…

"A rather disturbing occurrence this last evening, Jen and our werewolf/real estate associate Eloise encountered what may have been the ghost of a rather famous vam…Scientist who studied our kind…Self righteous bastard by the name of Van Helsing. Yes, like the fellow in that Irishman's book. And the movies…And the television shows…Hell, I can't tell you how many times in my porn career I've been killed right at the 'climatic moment', so to speak, by some version of him." Glare. "Has to come and haunt our new place…Damn. As if we were the worst vampires ever to lurk in the shadows. I mean we've always been very willing to avoid unnecessary killing and you've seen we're not into tormenting or even playing with our food, right? Yes, I mean it's unavoidable we do a few things that might be construed by some of you as somewhat evil or whatever, but everything kills to live, eh? Imagine how a cow or chicken feels in the slaughterhouse…Right? And yes, we have several familiars who are utterly devoted to the point of abject slavery or serfdom…But you've seen how content they are. I think Jen and the others have never been happier in their lives. And we haven't forced them to move in…Lord knows, we wouldn't want them around 24/7, we cherish our privacy too. Though it is nice to have Jen and Susan and Erika about for stretches. I truly enjoy talking with them and Jen reads to us which is very nice, just like my old days with Milly. What?" he stares at the crew, someone among them pointing to a small mirror surface in the lighting equipment.

Laszlo in the mirror, waving arms, pleading look…

"What the hell?!" Laszlo stares…The image immediately disappearing. "Is this a practical joke, people? Because while I try to be a good comrade and all, it's really not very funny, especially just right now. No? May I see that again?" he peers into mirror, nothing reflected back.

"Well I'll be…None of you did this?" questioning look to crew. "No offense, I don't mean to imply anyone is lying." Hand raised.

"Well, this is…Very strange. Any of you lot understand optics? Is it possible it's something from the camera recording? We were discussing the other day how odd it is that most of us have no reflection in a mirror yet we photograph and record on film though I have heard that's more based on our superstition. Like religion, you know? You're raised in one faith, you become a vampire, you can't enter a church without flaming. But I can enter a mosque, isn't that odd? I've never tried a synagogue though. Nadja did once, said she burned a bit. Strange. As is this. Say, did you record the image, could I see it on your playback device? Thanks…Again, forgive my little upset there, just a very disconcerting evening. Ah…" he peers to see the playback.

"Yes, there I am…Can we get closer in on that? Thanks…" As the image was zoomed in… "What the hell am I doing? Looks like I'm waving for help for something...Wait." he looks at camera. "Could this be the future? Could I be trying to warn myself?" anxious look.

"Yes…" thoughtful nod. "It is a strange world, you're right. But you, there, George right? You think it could be possible? Something to do with all that subparticle, quantum stuff you lot have figured out. Kudos on the march of Science, by the way. My ole friend Edgar, rest his Undead essence, would be so excited if he'd survived his sunglasses incident, to follow the latest advances. Though there's a caution not to put too much blind faith even in Science, eh?" nod.

Sigh…"Well, suppose we keep this bizarre little incident under wraps for now, eh? No need to worry the others till we know what's what, especially the lady wife, poor lamb. She's already terrified about this Van Helsing encounter. He was quite a dangerous fellow in his day. Brilliant, I grant you. He could take on the most dangerous of our kind, including Dracula…Though I agree with Nandor. Vlad was quite overrated…His no account grandson truly exaggerated his power and abilities to that writer."

"Tell you what. I'd best get to bed before the wife gets antsy and comes out of hers, but if you lot would keep an eye out for any more strange occurrences, I'd truly take it as a kindness, especially if you can record it? Thanks. And George? If you do see anything about a possible subatomic, quantum, whatever explanation for that view of me, I'd really appreciate discussing it sometime. Thanks, lads. Always a pleasure. Have a fine day." Nod, wave.

Guillermo, lying on bed, fully dressed…Staring up at ceiling, then to his Armand poster…

"This isn't fair. It's not right. I had a dream. I just wanted to be a good familiar and one day become a vampire, one of the nicer ones who rarely kills and never for sport. Instead what do I get? I find out I may have vampire hunting in my blood. And now, I got voices calling to me, for help? The ladies, Susan telling me I have to help them? They haven't said a word to me about being unhappy." Sigh.

"I guess really they couldn't, being enthralled…But this must be my imagination, right? I'm letting all this get to me. And all the new work and stuff…Yeah. But something was there, by the cliffside, Eloise saw it too. There's something going on…" he pauses, listening.

"Nothing now. But why call to me? What can I do? I'm not a Van Helsing…And then too…The others, calling like they did that day the Baron died. What's that all about? They don't want to die, I know they don't. Right?" he eyes camera.

"And Mr. Robinson…" frown. "Why's he always poking around now, trying to suck life force from me and get me to say something? He couldn't know, could he? Nah, he'd've told the others, just to enjoy watching them tear me apart."

"I can't do anything. I love them, they're my friends." He eyes a mirror. Nadja in dress, terrified expression, holding up arms in pleading…Then a sheet of paper, on which, written in English… "For the love of God, Guillermo…Help us!"

"G-G-God?!" he gasps. The image gone. He shakes head.

"No, I was dreaming. It wasn't Nadja. She couldn't, she wouldn't…Write that." Pause.

"Could she?" he stares at camera. "Ok, it's five am…A little early but Auntie won't mind. Just gotta find a place, away from here, far away, to call." He hops out of bed and hurries for door, rushing through to the main entrance and hurrying out. He stops as a car pulls up, an eager and beaming Phyllis inside, dressed in suit and brightly ready for the day.

"Hi, Gui!" cheery wave. "Just checking in, you heading out? Can I give you a ride? We could get breakfast!" holding passenger door open. "Let me take you, Gui. You won't catch a bus this early. Gui?" anxious tone. "Anything wrong? You look exhausted, honey. Come on and let me take you. I've got plenty of time before work at the office."

Guillermo, shaking head…Sigh. Moving to car door…

"Sure, fine. Thanks. But just drop me, please? I've errands to run that'll take a while."

"Right after breakfast…" Phyllis insists, eager smile. "I know a good place that's open now and you look like you need a good one." Shutting door on his resigned form.

"Some folks are eager beavers today…" Colin eyes them from a window in his cell, pausing in filling out form.

"Wish I'd known he was headed out, I'd've asked for a Starbucks."

Twenty minutes later…

"Hello…" Susan, in robe at front door beholding the figure at said door, a tall, grey-haired man in homburg hat and elegant overcoat who'd been knocking enough to literally wake the dead, in this case, Master Nandor who'd called out for Guillermo to get the damned door and send away or annihilate the knocker.

"Oh, I'm very sorry to trouble you, young miss." Slight accent, warm smile. "I was looking for a young man, Guillermo? Does he reside here?" She regards the quite handsome, if older face. Sixty-something, maybe? she guessed.

"Oh, yes. But I think he went out to do some errands. Oh…" she gasps. "You're not his uncle or something…Did something happen to his aunt? I know she was sick."

"I am…A family friend. Dr. Aluca." He smiles. "Yes, I know Madame well and she is ill but very much alive and eager to see him, when last we talked. But I had hoped to meet with the boy myself. Will he return soon, do you know?"

"Honestly, he didn't tell me…And I wish he did, I'm worried about him." Frown, then sigh. "He works much too hard, keeping this place up and all."

"Well…He is very lucky to have such a lovely young lady concerned for him." Smile. "Are you his wife or…?"

"Girlfriend…" hastily. "Well, tryin' to be." Smile. "He's a bit shy but I hope to get it settled between us soon. So, you're a family friend?"

"For many, many years." Nod. "And I have important information for the boy but I fear I must leave now. Would it be possible to leave my card so that he can contact me later?"

"Oh, sure… But, you're sure you don't want to wait?" she suggests. "You're welcome to come in. I'm making some coffee."

"My dear girl…" the doctor frowns, shaking head. "I appreciate the offer absolutely but it's not safe to let a stranger into your home these days, unless…Someone is with you, I hope?"

"Oh, yeah, my friends are all here." Nod. "I'm very well protected." Smile.

"Good, terrible as it is that one must take such precautions, I'm glad to hear you take care. Well, much as I would love to, I must go…Before the dawn…" eyes the first glimmers of said dawn. "Perhaps we can do this when Guillermo is available?"

"Yeah, I'd love that. I'll tell him I want to be around when he has you over."

"Excellent. A very fine day, dear child." Turns and heads off to parked car, a rather nice-looking Lexus.