What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."
Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar…
Part XXXVII…
Nandor's crypt in the old residence…About 7am.
Nandor sitting up in coffin, on landline phone, Susan having brought phone in from outer hall after hearing his calls to Guillermo. She off to shower at his polite insistence.
"Ah, hello Martha dear, this is Nandor…Relentless…" he notes, warmly. "Yes, thank you, dear. How is your day going? Oh, no, no…Don't bother Miss Zeller, I just wanted to see you were doing today. I was just…Oh, not at all, Martha. Thank you, dear…No…" he looks over, covering mouthpiece. "The poor girl is such a dear thing. I was worried she might still be a bit dazed yet, she's not quite as young as the others. Oh, dear child…" he returns to phone. "Don't get upset, I just wanted to be sure you were all right. Not at all, Martha. Why, my dear, that's very kind of you…You warm this old fellow's dead heart. Truly. How are your sons? Behaving themselves I trust." Listening…Shake of head.
"Well, they are young. But they should respect their mother, especially when she is doing so much for them alone. Perhaps I should speak to them, a grown man's guidance can be critical in these formative years. Oh, no, not at all, no trouble. Oh, no…No, I would never think of it, Martha. That's far too great a sacrifice. I think you would regret it in time, darling…Truly, not necessary." He looks up…
"Very sweet of her to offer her sons to me as food or servants but really…" he puts up hand.
"But I would like to speak to them…No hypnosis, just a man to young men's talk, eh? Let them know boys may be boys but they need to show respect to their elders as they become men. Yes…Oh, any night that works for you, dear. Oh, no…Please…Since I can't eat human, it's really not necessary to go to any trouble. I'll bring a bottle of wine and something for myself. Well, Martha…Lets see…You could just tell them your office's new client took an interest in you…Not at all…Dear, I would be flattered to be presented as your boyfriend." Nod. "No, Martha…It would be an honor, truly. Martha? Please don't upset yourself, you had quite a shock from the blood drain the other day, dear. That's it, relax, breathe…Good. That's right, just breathe a moment…"
"Poor dear thing…It's so sweet that she is so excited. But she is a fine woman, if I were human I would be a fool not to wish to obtain her for my harem as one of my senior wives. Or date her, as they do now." He addresses camera, waiting for the clearly overwrought Martha to calm…
"Are you better now, dear? Good. Really, Martha…You should not underrate yourself. I find you a very lovely and sweet person. Well, I don't think anyone should be surprised that a wealthy and, thank you, far too flattering, handsome fellow should wish to meet you outside of business matters. But you determine on a good evening and I will come and meet your sons and see your lovely home. Of course, it must be lovely, it is yours. All right, my dear. I should let you get back to work now. But keep drinking water, and no heavy lifting for several days, ok? Good. Tell Miss Ginny and the gang I say, 'hi' and best wishes. We're all proud of the work you are all doing. Goodbye, my dear. Oh, Martha, don't cry…Not even for happiness would I like to see you cry. Good, take care my dear. All my best. Bye…" hangs up.
"Such a sweet lady. Well, I will have a talk with her boys and explain to them the deference and respect a mother like Martha should have. I used to have these talks with my many sons…Some of them started acting like arrogant prince pricks with their moms and I had to put a stop to that. Even in my day, maybe more so, we treated mothers with respect." Sigh…Wry smile… "The poor woman was so delighted with the idea of my coming over, it makes my truly dead heart smile. You know, I never thought this sort of association with humans again would be so delightful. Though I will have to be cautious not to agitate her too much nor to have the boys thinking I might become their new dad. We'll have to explain we're just casual dating…Then maybe we decide to remain good friends but not get too serious? Still…" he smiles. "It would be nice to be a sort of father to sons again…" wistful tone.
"I'm worried about my Guillermo. He seems quite sad about his poor aunt. I wish he'd just go and see her while he can, we are quite well settled right now and while I know he wants to be here, family is family. It should take precedence…" nod. "But I'll urge him when he returns…"
Thoughtful pondering… "You know he has really stepped up to this Chief Familiar post. I'm very pleased to see him showing some confidence and the ladies seem to truly respect him…Of course, that is due to their enthrallment, largely, but still…" shrug. "He has handled himself well with his new responsibility." Careful nod.
"And I am pleased, though I never really doubted him, that he's handled his new authority with discretion. I have known some far more…Manly?...Macho, yes, that's the word…Macho…" shrug… "Types who could not be trusted with such power over a group of beautiful women and whatever my questions about him were before, I can see he does appreciate their beauty. A good soul, that boy."
Smile…
"I rather hope he chooses to go with Susan, frankly. They make a good couple, all-in-all, and she would truly bolster his confidence, such a beauty on his arm. But let things take their proper course, Nature will decide. I just hope our children…" wistful smile… "Of sorts. Will be happy."
"But what a strange thing the other night with that apparition appearing to Miss Eloise and our Jen, eh? Van Helsing, of all people…Very odd. Perhaps our rise to dominion here is attracting the attention of the Other World? Well, the ladies are looking into it and Laszlo is all aflutter, seeking a 'scientific' explanation. Well, we shall see. But I say, while it could be a cause for concern, a ghost or spirit or whatever it was…Maybe even someone just filming one of those promotions for a new film or TV series on Van Helsing?...Can't stake you. But wise to be on guard, of course."
Shrug… "I was perhaps a bit unfair to old Vlad of the Dracule the other night. He had his faults, that Impaler…Including vanity and a tendency to impale first, without reviewing the facts of a matter…But I can't deny his patriotism to Byzantium. But it still hurts, his accusations…So unfair. My principality had been lost to the Empire long before, we had no way of standing up to the Turks…And we had the damned Mongols on our doorstep after they took Baghad. What were we to do? If I could've, I would've gladly marched to join the Emperor Michael when he retook the Holy City from the damned Venetian scum but we were a thousand miles away, with families to look after. I did what I could to protect my people…And we had sworn oaths of fealty to the Sultans. They would have been legally justified to wipe us out if we'd broken them." Sigh. "And it's not like Vlad turned the tide, even with an army of Undead warriors. The Sultan had them as well, and not just me and mine. If I'd thought there was any real hope I'd've joined him but it was crazy and it would've ruined the whole country just when it was getting back on its feet with the Ottomans. I am sorry about his wife, though." Sheepish look. "I suggested the stratagem to the Sultan of sending a message and a rather disfigured head to her that her then still human husband had been captured and killed. It was a military ruse to get her to contact him so we could locate his army. You do that in war. I couldn't have known she'd commit suicide or that her soul would never rest." Wan look. "Well, hopefully, they have found each other in the afterlife…What?" eyes camera.
"Well, yes…There are times when I wonder…Will I ever see my wives and children again? Am I so accursed that they would never consent to see me? It has troubled me at times, I can't deny it. Still, they must know, if all things are known in the Great Beyond as is said, that I did love them and even as a vampire, I still do. I can only say…I did not ask to be thrown into a vampiral harem and turned by the chief concubine of a mad Sultan. If I should have been stronger in the centuries since, I regret it but I have rarely met vampires who could overcome their nature, who sought redemption. And yes…" wry shrug… "There you have my real bone with Vlad…He did truly seek redemption later in his Unlife, as some of the stories claim. But he had Elisabete calling to him, trying to help him all those dark years. I had no one…Not to be unfair to my family, but guys? A little help here? Did no one care enough to try? Truly, that's what hurts most. I have never heard a call… 'Nandor, husband, lover, father, fight your evil nature and return to us'. Whereas Vlad? Every few decades he seemed to get a cry from Elisabete, reborn somewhere in the world. Maybe it was his imagination but still…Selim? Nandor Jr? Harissa? Couldn't you be bothered just once to give the old man a call through the Ether? Well, that's as it must be. Pardon me, I think I'll rest a bit now. But thank you for listening…" gracious nod.
…
"Just remember, punk…" the harsh voice sneers through the phone Guillermo holds...One of the very few remaining pay/credit call phones on Staten Island, downtown. "When the bitch dies, that's it as to the money. We've none to waste on your fool ass."
"Enrique. Just put Auntie on. I don't care what you do." Grim reply. "Put her on."
"Ah…!" snarl… "Hey! Auntie!" howling cry of pain.
"Son of a bitch! Get out of here!" furious woman's voice just audible. "I may die tomorrow but today I'll cut you out if you don't go now. Roderigo, throw him out!"
"Auntie?!" Guillermo calls to phone.
Sounds of scuffling, cries…Slam of door.
"Good riddance…Maldito bastardo. Guillermo? Are you there?" the woman's voice on phone.
"Si, Auntie. Are you all right?"
"Eh, I had Roderigo toss the bastard out on his ass. Miserable greedy bastardo, like most of them. How are you, little one? Are you eating? Did you get my box of pasteleria?"
"Yes, Auntie. And yes, I did. They were great."
"Good, good. I am glad you called, Guillermo. There isn't much time."
"I'm coming right away, Auntie. Are you very ill? What's the matter? Can I arrange a doctor?"
"Waste of time, doctors…I've had the best, including an American specialist…Remember Jacinta Fernadez? The house on the hill above us? She's an American doctor, now, cancer specialist. Unfortunately, she's married." Sigh.
"I remember her…She treated you for cancer, Auntie? Why didn't you call me about this?"
"Nothing you could've done but worry, dear one. It's not bad, I've good pain medication and nursing. Don't worry about me, my sweet boy. I've had a wonderful life and I'm ready to move on." Warm tone. "A new adventure for me…Think of it that way and don't mourn too much."
"Auntie…" bleak sorrow…
"Now, Guillermo…You know I appreciate your sincere sentiment but I also hate sentimentality. And forget what prickhead says. You'll be well provided for, dear boy. But it's you I am worried for. And there's much I have to tell you…"
"But Auntie…"Guillermo grips phone tight. "I'll be home in a day…Sooner…Just wait for me."
"There's not likely to be that much time, honey. Which is why I have sent an old family friend to you. One who knows all about it and can help you. Trust in him."
"In…Who, Auntie? He's coming here? To where I live?"
"Dr. Acura…He will call himself. He will reveal himself to you, soon, my dear one. Now, listen…Heed my words, boy. There are many things about our family you do not know…"
"We're descended from the Van Helsings and they were vampire hunters?"
Pause… "Not bad, smart guy." Slight annoyance in tone. "Where did you hear about that?"
"I had my and my boss' ancestry checked. DNA testing and paper trail stuff."
"I see, good, then this will be a little easier…" she notes. "Now heed me, Guillermo. I must tell you of our family's destiny…And yours…"
