"Nonononono-" Archie said, shaking his head. "Horatio, you must be crazy- what did you suppose you would do with her?"

Mariette, unable to understand his gabbled words, looked on, her hands clenched tight around the gunwale so her knuckles turned white.

Horatio bit his lip. "I don't know, Archie- " he admitted, confusedly. "I didn't think-"

"You didn't think, " Archie repeated, helplessly. He lifted his hands, as if in desperate supplication to some unknown deity. "Horatio, what are you going to do?"

"Well, what is there to be done?" Horatio countered feebly, staring beseechingly at his friend.

Archie regarded him in exasperation. "There's nothing for it, Horatio- What were you thinking? "

"I promised her- I promised her I'd take her away-"

"Well, what possessed you to do that?" Archie demanded tartly. "Look, Horatio- She's French- and you' ve just up and taken her away from her home, her friends- For god's sake, Horatio- what is she going to do? You're a lieutenant! You're not permitted to have a wife on board ship!"

"What? Wife?" Horatio cried. "I"m only twenty-three!"

"Exactly! You have no business getting married so young-"

"Who said anything about marriage?"

Archie rolled his eyes. It occurred to Horatio then that his friend had a ridiculous propensity for dramatics. "Well, Horatio. What else is there to do?" he demanded sarcastically. "She can't support herself in England! You took her away! She's your responsibility- what possessed you- what do you expect her to do? What's she going to do in England to survive? And even if you do marry her, what's she going to do? Or do you expect to be able to leave her in England all by herself? Was that what you took her away for, so she could spend her life in a dreary English port only seeing you once every, oh, YEAR or so? What are you going to do?"

"Well, " Horatio faltered. "You see, Archie- the thing is... I didn't think-"

"Well, you should have!"

"I suppose... We shall have to be married, " Horatio said, hurriedly.

"You haven't even asked her, " Archie sighed in exasperation.

"Well, Mariette? " Horatio asked.

Mariette blinked up at him like the rabbit-eyed wooden pole that she was. "Yes, 'Oratio?"

He actually saw Horatio wince slightly at the mangling of his name. What in hell had his friend been thinking? Had he even considered the consequences of his rash promise? Had he considered that he'd only known the French chit for less than a week, and since they hardly knew each other- and didn't even know how to pronounce each others' names, his cynical self added snidely- it probably wasn't the best idea to get married?

Oh well. It didn't look like they'd actually get the chance to know each other better, because they were drawing close to the ship, and Archie could just make out the thunderclouds which were figuratively settling over Captain Pellew... who was glaring at their boat, and did not appear at all happy to see a woman inside, odd though that was, since most sailors, seeing anything female, looked stupefied with stunned joy, as if all their birthdays and Christmases had come at once... and also since it was rumored that the captain hadn't seen a girl that close since the second-last stay in port...

"HORNBLOWER!" the captain's stentorian voice roared. Four exclamation marks. The sure sign of a deranged mind.

And if the captain didn't kill Horatio, Archie mused, it wasn't as though they got shore leave that often anyway.