Ode to Erik

Erik's Modern Adventure

(Part Two)

"Well dear readers, I thank you for your patience! You see this is quite a tale, and old Erik needed a break there! I shall resume my tale with much gusto! "

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"Well I must say, even if I was stuffed into a box, it was very pleasant to finally escape the dusty confines of the gallery after all these years! The sun was shining, the sky was blue and the air was fresh! Ahhh…sent a shiver down my gauntlets it did, felt truly amazing!

But I must comment; never in all my life (and it is a long one so far) have I been more baffled and perplexed! After I had finished enjoying the rather clement weather, my attentions were turned else where! I have seen it all now, quite unbelievable! Things have changed a damn sight since my day I can assure you! The things I have seen are incredible! Even from my new mobile cardboard abode, I could see all the new world has to offer!

So many strange and wonderful things I have not encountered before! Like these huge brightly coloured metal frames on wheels that people sit in, how do they move without horses! And the tall glass castles that reach all the way up to the clouds, why do they not fall over! And men dressed in black just like the cad, carrying small black boxes about, and talking into tiny boxes placed at their ears!

Animals roaming the streets on the end of bits of rope that people hold. Everywhere, little pieces of plastic in peoples ears that produce a tinny sort of music! People drinking and eating such bizarre, unheard of foods such as pretzels, hot-dogs and lattes! A hot-dog? Eating a hot-dog? That's barbaric that is, poor little creature! And what on Gods good earth is a latte!

Signs, signs everywhere, in every window.

Buy One Get One Free!

Two For One!

Open 24/7

Well if the shop is open all day, all week, then when does the shop attendant go to sleep? And what do you get free when you buy one? One of what exactly?

And so many shops selling so many things I have never even heard of!

Artificial Intelligence Toys?

Bananas? Kiwis?

Saucy Lingerie?

What is a kiwi? And what the devil does saucy mean? Saucy like tomato ketchup is a sauce? And why would you want to linger around it?

And I must say, people dress very differently now! The men all wearing black suits, or some sort of blue material on their legs. Some with bizarre hats, others with pieces of glass covering their eyes, some with bags stuck to their backs! And the ladies? Well I never, very revealing I tell you! Some wearing skirts that come above the ankle! And wearing tops that reveal nearly all the breast! Very extraordinary designs and weird items of clothing! Totally unacceptable in my day!

Things have changed drastically upstairs. The whole world seems a granite playground, everything covered in stone and grey. With people eccentric bizarre clothes and using all manor of machines to assist their living. My helmet should have been spinning with all this information and all these new sights! Very strange, ohhh how things have changed! I feel there is no room for my sort any more; in a way makes me glad that I have a home in the Shadow Gallery, even if it is with that ridiculous cad!

(Anyway, back to my tale!)

After much admiring of this outlandish new world, I remembered what was happening and tried to concentrate my attentions to the direction of exactly where this little madam was taking me. Of course I do not know exactly where I was as things have changed a lot since my days; so many complicated signs I do not understand, not as simple anymore. Signs such as:

No Parking or

One Way Only and

Pay & Display or

Pedestrians Only

How do the people of London understand such rules? What is One Way? One Way where? There are lots of ways a fellow can take, not just one! And Pay & Display? Pay to display what exactly! No Parking? Then where the devil does your horse go!

Anyway, after what seemed like much walking, many right turns, a few left turns and a couple of wrong exits, we arrived at what I assumed was our destination. There were some very smart looking people loitering about outside, dressed in immaculate suits, all talking and guffawing rather loudly! This must be important I thought; if dear old Erik is being brought here! Perhaps for a super special clean so I really shine? Or maybe to have my many dints caused by the idiot finally bashed out! Or maybe to have a fancy new set of breast plates added.

The place was a very fancy building, and very old looking, but quite beautiful. In the big bay window, lots of vases, china, furniture and other old and beautiful looking things. Lots of pretty plants and ivy outside, and a very fancy looking gold sign. Although I did not understand what the sign meant, it was very pretty, and with such a long fancy name, I deduced I must be in for a treat! The sign read as follows…

SOTHEBYS AUCTION HOUSE

FOUNDED 1774

I understood the 1774 bit, fantastic year, fond memories it gave me! Such laughs back then! Yes, this was definitely the place for me if it was dealing with things from that period in time! Possibly a reunion with some old friends? Maybe Frederick and Boderick, now that would be a fantastic surprise!What ever it was, I was sure I was in for a very very special treat…"