Chapter 2: Subaru's Burden
The scene opens to Subaru, wearing his robes and laying on his bed, opening his trembling eyelids, and standing up to see the window.
"Sir, have you awakened?"
"Hey, I recognize that voice!" pointed out Otto.
"Of course you would recognize it, merchant boy," Ram huffed.
Subaru's blood ran cold as he slowly turned his head to the front of the bed.
"Sir, are you awake?" another voice asked.
"And that other voice… it's safe to say we know who they are!" smiled Garfiel.
"Yeah! It's Rem and Ram!" said Emilia, smiling at the thought of the twin maids.
As the rest of the Emilia Camp was happy to hear the voices of their colleagues, Subaru knew what was coming, and that made his heart sink even deeper.
I'm so fucked.
Slowly, he turned his head, not being able to stop the terror and fear from filling him as his mouth emitted grunts and gasps of fear and pain.
In front of Subaru, were the twin maids, Ram and Rem.
"AAAIIIEEE!"
Those watching were expecting many different reactions from Subaru. Some of them thought an introduction were to occur, others thought he might be a bit perverted and admire the maids.
None of them expected him to scream in terror.
"What the hell was that about?!" yelled Felt, wondering what could have possessed her Big Bro to scream like that. Everyone else had to agree with Felt's confusion.
"That didn't happen when he woke up…" whispered Ram.
"Subaru, what caused that?" asked Emilia, looking at her knight with worry.
The black-haired boy didn't answer. He just looked so hollow.
The scene changes to show Emilia sitting beside Subaru's bed with a worried look on her face. "Subaru, Ram and Rem were unusually despondent, wondering if they'd been impolite…" Emilia looked at him with concerned eyes.
"Nothing happened between them and me," Subaru spoke in an emotionless tone.
"Yeah, no, you're lying dude. What the hell happened?" asked Al, calling out Subaru's lie.
Roswaal, meanwhile, was wondering what could have caused that… Why was there a mention of a "loop" for this week… wait… the looping… Subaru had used his powers.
The nasty-eyed boy must have seen something that no one else remembered.
Oh, this was going to be good.
"Subaru are you alright? If something's wrong, you're welcome to talk to me."
Subaru slowly looked down while clenching his covers. His eyes trembled. If I could tell Emilia that it's no use, that I can't take it anymore…
Naoko was now both worried and concerned. "Why does he look so afraid?"
"I don't know, honey. I really don't know…" whispered Kenichi.
"That's right…"
Subaru's eyes lit up with hope as he turned to the worried half-elf girl. All this time, I've been struggling to change things, but…
Seeing him stare at her in silence, Emilia asked once more, "Subaru, are you sure you're alright?"
Subaru steeld his nerves. "Emilia. There's something I want you to know."
This is it, Subaru thought to himself, as he sank further into his seat.
Emilia was taken back by his sudden sternness. "Okay." She readied herself.
Suddenly, the screen went dark.
"Hey, is it malfunctioning?" asked Tivey, when suddenly, they all heard noises.
"Is that music?" questioned Beatrice.
Opening Theme: Bursty Greedy Spider
Subaru is seen rising from the floor of the screen, as if time itself was reversing a fall, all while blood seems to be returning from a wound on his chest.
"What the heck is this?!" Petra asked, horrified.
"I-is that…?" Kenichi tried to speak, but his windpipe closed on him.
"Subaru…" Naoko whispered in fear.
While everyone else was shocked and horrified, Subaru was the one who was the most afraid. To him, that seemed like a dead give-away of what Return by Death was capable of.
As the wound closes and all the blood disappears, Subaru turns to look at the camera, with a look of determination, before turning and punching it.
The scene scrolls past all the various members of the different Camps, showing them all in heroic light, albeit in still action shots.
"Hey, hey! That's all of us!" pointed Mimi, happy to see her and all her friends on-screen.
Hey, yeah, all of us are there, Subaru realized. Heck, I can even see Hetaro, Anneerose, Clind, Ryuzu, and a couple of other dudes…
The next scroller shows a rogues gallery worth of villains, from Sin Archbishops, to actual Witches, all with a platinum-haired loli laughing maniacally in the center.
"Teacher…" whispered Roswaal, under his breath, while also seeing the Warlock of Melancholy that beat him to a pulp that day.
"Mother…"
"Wait, that's Sloth!" Julius realized, pointing to the green-haired man.
"Then that means that the rest of them…"
"... are Witch Cultists," Rem finished Reinhard's sentence, while glaring at the screen.
Pandora, Al growled in her mind, as he saw that bitch, laughing.
The third image is of three individuals: A red-haired man wearing an eyepatch, a large blue dragon, and a brown-haired woman wearing a bikini and hotpants.
Tales from the Multiverse
"Oh, so it's an introduction!" Subaru announced to the rest of the cast, as he realized that this was basically just an anime opening. Turning over to the cast, he explained, "Basically, it's showing us a sample of what's to come, while letting us know what we're watching."
The rest of the cast seemed to calm down when they understood the explanation, as they now tried to see as much as possible, to see where certain events or characters would show up in the future, all while enjoying the music.
As the title faded, seven different Subarus are seen dancing around like idiots.
"Aww, they look so cute!" cooed Petra.
"Seven Barusus? Please kill me now," Ram hissed in disgust.
"Sister, Rem must agree with Subaru-kun! They look so cute!"
"Oh come on, nee-sama, it's not that bad!"
Ram, despite wanting to insult Subaru, couldn't bring herself to verbally ruin her sister's happiness, not after she just got her back.
"Why does that one have white hair?" asked Meili.
The introduction continued, showing a flaming capital in the background, all the while there was a dead Subaru lying on the ground, impaled by an ice spear, with an insane smile. Emilia and Reinhard can be seen looking over the dead body.
Then, it shows Garfiel, Julius, Wilhelm, Priscilla, Felt and Beatrice, all of their backs to each other, as they're ready to fight off an army of Witch Cultists, which seemed to be led by multiple Sin Archbishops, most prominently a woman in bandages with silver hair.
"That's a lot of Sin Archbishops…" Petra whispered, slightly intimidated.
"I could take 'em on ma own," Garfiel grumbled.
"I don't know, they'd prolly mop the floor with ye," Ricardo awkwardly chuckled.
Subaru, in his school uniform, hugs his parents and then runs off, waving them good-bye, as the screen splits into four windows with four individuals: A woman covered by shadows, a black-and-white lady, a melancholic clown, and a platinum-haired loli.
"Subaru…" Naoko whispers, seeing a reality where her boy is still with her.
The nasty-eyed boy gulps, as he recognizes the first two women: Satella and Echidna.
Roswaal and Beatrice widen their eyes as they recognize Echidna and Hector.
Emilia scowls as she remembers Echidna and Pandora.
The screen then focuses on Priscilla, as it slides to also show Al, a young blonde girl, Rem and Subaru in different clothes, and a certain Vollachian Emperor.
The Vollachina matriarch scowls as she remembers her half-brother.
"Subaru meets Vincent?" asks Julius, unsure how someone like Subaru would be able to be in the presence of someone like the Emperor of Vollachia.
"Who the fuck is Vincent?"
The camera spins to reveal a large blue dragon, and a silver-haired half-elf facing each other in a room that appears almost as if it were made of clouds.
"The Divine Dragon…" Wilhelm whispers under his breath.
Crusch couldn't help but glare at the Dragon.
Then, it shows a green-haired woman of elven descent, as she faces away multiple members of different Camps, looking sad.
And then, it cuts to a smiling boy with blue hair, and a little girl with black hair, while the two of them are embraced by their parents, a man with black hair in a ponytail, and a woman in a kimono with long blue hair.
"Why do those children look so familiar?" Rem asked.
"Yeah, they look like a cross between Rem and me…" Subaru agreed. Somehow, he couldn't guess the obvious answer.
Rem, on the other hand, was currently gushing.
And now, Ram wanted to commit murder.
The white-haired woman on a grassy hill next to a table with tea speaks to the audience.
Then, the lady covered in shadows, as the blue sky behind her, speaks.
And finally, the platinum-haired loli, who striked the sky with a smug smile.
"Does anyone know what they said?" Ricardo asked.
"I think they were just the lyrics of this song," Tivey suggested.
The screen shows multiple different fight scene, including one where Garfeil attacks Hector, the Divine Dragon destroying the White Whale, Zarestia using her winds against Capella, Crusch fighting Groovy Gumlet, a younger Wilhelm slaying dozens of demi-humans, Priscilla taking on members of different Camps, Julius fighting Elsa, and one of Celilus and Puck fighting against Reinhard, among others.
"HOLY SHIT, THAT'S AWESOME!"
"Garf! Language!" Frederica hissed towards her younger brother.
"You're getting your butt whooped, Garf," Otto chuckled.
Oh, they're gonna find out about Mama… Meili gulped in fear.
"Am I fighting the Bowel Hunter?"
Everyone watched the following shots with enthusiasm, getting their blood pumping, and excited to see what adventures await their counterparts.
The next scene is a continuous shot, showing a black-robed Subaru fighting against Pandora, launching a shadow tendril in an attempt to impale her, only to have her vanish and appear right behind him, ready to chop his neck. Subaru dodges, and launches a plume of balck fire towards her, continuing the fight, as the Subaru looks at her with intense rage in his eyes, while she looks at him with an expression of "love".
"Subaru?!" Emilia exclaimed in shock.
"When did you learn to do that?" Felt yells in shock.
"If I knew how to do that, don't think I would have used that by now?!"
As everyone else hears the black-haired boy defend himself, Wilhelm wonders why this Subaru is attacking the woman, and why he looks so full of rage. He wonders briefly if it was similar to his own old rage towards the White Whale, but quickly suppresses that thought.
The next scenes are various still images, as the music and lyrics keep playing, staring with Zarestia and Halibel, then a shot of Kenichi and Naoko, followed by Theresia van Asterea in a realm of shadows, Reid Astrea relaxing with Volcanica, Vincent and Cecilus, a younger Emilia who is crying, an attacking Elsa and Meili, Fortuna and a sane Geuse defending Elior Forest, and an image of Shaula, tapping her foot.
"Hmm… it appears that they're giving us a preview of the possible stories we could see with these still images…" Crusch hummed, analyzing the screenshots.
"Who was the redhead?"
"That was Reid Astrea, I believe," Beatrice answered to Petra.
"THE Reid Astrea?!" Felix yolwed.
"Who's "the" Reid Astrea?" Kenichi asked.
"My ancestor, the first Sword Saint," Reinhard explained. "I will be happy to explain in more detail later."
Then, the next scene is of the seven Subarus, all of them charging into battle, each of them showing their individuality, all lead by… the original.
"This series seems to focus a lot on that foolish boy…" Priscilla murmurs.
"For once, I agree with you," the nasty-eyed knight said. "It's getting kinda creepy."
As the camera zooms out of the scene, it reveals thousands of scenes, all of them playing at the same time, all of them… possible realities, waiting to be seen.
"Are those all… possible realities?" Naoko asked.
"So many stories…" the Sword Demon says.
… And all of them for our viewing pleasure, Roswaal smiled.
The scenes become a light brown in color, as it's revealed that the camera is zooming out of Subaru's eye, revealing that he's bleeding and wounded, but still smiling with his classic maniacal smile, and ready to keep on fighting.
"Why does Barusu seem to be the focus in this opening?"
"Maybe he's the main character?" Otto suggested to Ram.
Yeah, right, Subaru groaned. I'm a nobody. No way in hell I'm the protagonist.
Episode 1:
Subaru's Burden
"That's the title of the first episode?" asked Al.
"It seems so," Julius confirmed.
"But why?" asked Reinhard. "What could possibly be Subaru's burden?"
"Why don't you all shut up and maybe we'll find out, nya?" hissed Felix, silencing everyone else.
The scene comes back to Emilia sitting on Subaru's bed, with him beside her.
"Oh, we're right back to where we left off," Rem realized.
Shit, that anime opening bought me only two minutes at best, Subaru thought grimly. Despite the rapid beating of his heart, he already knew that his fate was sealed. They would finally see what a monster he was, how he failed them so many times. He was sure they were going to throw him in a cell, knowing he couldn't be trusted anymore.
Heh… If I'm lucky, maybe they'll just let me rot in a cell once they see that execution would be pointless, Subaru depressingly thought, believing he knew what would happen once this was over.
Oh, how wrong he was.
"Emilia…several times up until now, I've died."
Silence.
The entire theater was in silence at what was just heard.
They wanted to dismiss it as a hearing mistake, or as some sort of bad joke, but one look around to their fellow viewers, that notion was gone. They all we're wearing the same look of fear and confusion, but before anyone had a chance to say something –
Emilia spoke. "Subaru… how could you joke about such a thing?"
Subaru hesitated to respond.
"Do those from your home speak so callously about death?"
"So we didn't mishear it," Priscilla whispered to herself.
He tentatively responds, "No, they don't. But I wasn't joking."
"Then how can what you're saying to me be true?"
Subaru collects his thoughts, and a shiver travels up his spine. In his head, he recounts the horrible experiences that he's had up until now.
"What… we're those?" Crusch asked, horrified by the silent images.
"Those are called… flashbacks," Al said, as he still remembered a few things from his time on Earth. "They're used when someone is… remembering… something…"
"As in… something they've… experienced…" Anastasia whispered, connecting the dots.
As the flashbacks played, several people saw things they both did and didn't recognize.
Felt, Reinahrd, and Emilia remembered the loot house, but they never remembered seeing themselves die, much less seeing Subaru die at the hands of the Bowel Hunter.
Meanwhile, Ram, Rem, and Roswaal's faces donned with both horror and realization. For the twins, they realized all of the things Subaru wasn't supposed to know most likely came from this… ability. But for Roswaal, it all now made perfect sense. Everything Subaru did, the premonition, and the looping, the trigger was… death.
"Ever since I came to this wor– to Lugnica, I've faced confrontation and hardship. You don't remember this, but the first person who helped me was you."
Emilia is confused, but before she can question him, Subaru continues-
"You saved me from a gang of robbers in an alleyway. We spent the day together, looking for your stolen insignia, and then…" Subaru says, hesitating as he realizes that he has the choice to tell Emilia about her past deaths. Should I? Could she take it? "… and then I was murdered."
"I… I died?" Emilia whispered, seeing yet another flashback.
"This… can't be real right, right?" Otto said, nervous.
"I…" Felt gulped. "I'm not too sure."
"I found myself back in the center of the capitol and realized that I had started again. "Return by Death", I call it. I died three times in the capitol, making sure that you wouldn't be killed by that – that murderer."
"How- how do I know that you are telling the truth?" Emilia carefully asks.
"You helped a young girl find her parents on that day, didn't you?"
No, Emilia realized. How did he know…?
"Okay, but you could've been watching me do that from afar –"
"On my real first day, we helped her together. We both helped her. I didn't get the chance to do that with you again after my first death, but I noticed you kept doing it throughout my retries. Heh, I guess it's just in your nature. If that won't convince you, how do you explain to me knowing Puck's name, and that he would be with you?"
Both Emilia and Felt had pits in their stomachs when they heard that. They both heard him using Puck's name when Elsa attacked, meaning…
"T-t-this hasta be a joke," Garfiel stuttered. "Jus' a joke… right? Brotto?"
"I… I don't know."
Unlike before, Emilia had no reply to this. She was confused by it, but she couldn't explain this away. Only someone who had met and acquainted themselves with her before could possibly know about her contracted spirit, Puck, and she knew that Puck hadn't met him before either.
"Don't you think it all fits in together too well, for someone who didn't know you before? Anyway, I'll prove it to you. Roswaal will, when we eat today, offer me anything I desire. I'll choose to work here, like I always do –"
"Wait, like you always do? Subaru…are you saying you have died here? Under my care?"
Subaru sighs. "Emilia…this is the fourth time I've woken up on this day."
The revelation hit Emilia like a strike from the Sword Saint. Subaru has… died…? Under her care? How?! Why?!
Who…? The thought of someone or something even so much as hurting her knight, HER Subaru, was enough to make her drop the temperature a few degrees in a cold, quiet fury.
The ramifications of what Subaru has said hit Emilia like a brick. "So you're telling me…you've died three times in this mansion? Why wouldn't you run away? Why would you stay here and risk dying again?"
"Truthfully, I wanted to, Emilia… but one thing made me stay. I want to help you.
… I'll make you the ruler, like you want to be!"
"Pause it, now," Emilia ordered, her voice cold as ice.
"Uh, yeah, sure," complied Al, pausing it.
Standing up, Emilia looked towards her knight.
It was the moment of truth.
"Subaru… is this real? Have you actually… died?"
Everyone's eyes were now focused on the black-haired boy. Friends, family, everyone, now had their attention on Subaru Natsuki, waiting for a response.
"I'm sorry," he croaked out, looking away in shame.
"How many times?"
"Wh-what?"
"How many times did you die, Subaru?"
"..."
"..."
"I don't know," he whispered.
"WHAT?"
"I DON'T KNOW!" he stood up, yelling at the top of his lungs. "I LOST COUNT AFTER –"
"After what?"
"..."
"Please, tell me."
"After the Great Rabbit ate me alive. Back at the Sanctuary…"
The Emilia Camp recoiled in fear at hearing that. Garfiel and Otto felt like puking, while Petra and Meili hugged Frederica tightly at what they heard. Ram was shaken to her core upon hearing such a thing. Even Roswaal was ashamed by what he had done. If he knew that Subaru's power had such a dire activation…
The rest of the Cast also now looked at him in horror. To be eaten alive by the Great Rabbit was something they didn't even wish on the most horrible of their enemies. But to know that Subaru had experienced this, along with so many other deaths…
… they were shocked into silence.
Kenichi and Naoko didn't even know what to think anymore. While they didn't know what this "Great Rabbit" was, it was painfully clear it wasn't just some cute, harmless rabbit. Judging by everyone's reactions… they don't even want to imagine what it did to their son.
Whatever the Cast were feeling in that moment, none of it compared to the horror that ran through the hearts and minds of the three girls closest to Subaru.
Emilia was starting to put the pieces together, starting with all of Subaru's inconsistencies and outbursts. Mentions of things that never happened, their fight back at the Capital, how he said everything was for her, mentioning having to suffer, all of it.
She wanted to deny it, but it made too much sense.
Rem and Beatrice also stared at the boy with terror in their eyes. Remembering how many times he had broken down, but even after all of that, still getting up. He still dove head first into danger, from the Mabeasts to the burning Forbidden Library, he kept jumping in.
Was it because he knew he was never in real danger? Or was it –
"Now, please, let's just get back to this viewing…" Subaru said, his voice weak.
"But –"
"Please."
Emilia, just like everyone else, was quiet. She wanted to ask more, but she knew that Subaru was more than uncomfortable with this line of questioning, at least for now.
"We'll discuss this when this is over."
As Emilia quietly sat back down, the rest of the Cast prepared themselves to continue watching, but they now all had one thing lingering in the back of their heads:
Subaru Natsuki has lived and died before.
Like Subaru said, Roswaal did indeed offer him anything he desired, and he used the opportunity to get hired as a servant for the third time. He noticed how Emilia went pale upon seeing this, like she had seen a ghost. If I've died before, does that technically make me a ghost?, he ponders. Nope, I'm too real. Gotta talk to her later though.
The day was similar to all the others he had experienced. His skills with performing his duties had risen steadily throughout his last three attempts, and so he glided through them with little issue. Maybe too little issue. He didn't even get a single cut on his fingers this time when he peeled the mansion's vegetables!
"Barusu… was the reason you were able to cut vegetables so well, was it…?"
"Yeah," he said, hoarsely. "You tend to pick up a few skills after "living" as long as I have."
"I see…" the hornless oni wasn't even sure what to make of him anymore.
Rem watched him from the corner of her eyes as they worked together. She made sure that he couldn't see her, as she knew that he was watching his back for something. Suspicious. Like he knew that people would be out to get him.
"For someone who is supposed to have no experience, he seems to be completing these tasks quickly, doesn't he?" Rem asks her sister.
"Indeed, Rem. Despite his breakdown earlier, he might still have an ounce of potential. Just one, though."
They'd been working for almost the full day at this point, and Ram realized the time. "Barusu, it seems that you are done for the day. Rem and I will polish off the rest of the daily tasks. Try not to embarrass yourself too much in your free time."
"Don't you worry about me, I've already experienced enough embarrassment to last a lifetime in these past couple weeks –" Subaru says, stuttering as he realizes that he couldn't reasonably explain what he was about to say. He quickly turns to leave to avoid any possible pushing of the topic.
Emilia's eyes widened. "Wait a minute… all those jokes you say…"
"Heh, yeah, I always said that you'd never understand them," Subaru grimly chuckled.
Even after his biggest secret was spilled, he wasn't panicking. No, there was no point in panicking when all was lost. Right now, he was just waiting for the episode to end so that they could all lynch him. He might as well be a cynical asshole for the moment.
Luckily for him, Ram doesn't push him. "See you tomorrow."
Next stop: to find Emilia. Of course, he knew that she'd be in the courtyard, and so he headed straight there. He steeled his resolve, preparing himself for the awkward questions that might follow.
Who killed you? Who gave you this power? How can I trust you?
"Those are all good questions," Crusch hummed.
Ricardo looked toward Subaru. "Ey, bro, do ya have th' answers, or…?"
"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to."
At these words, they were certain Subaru knew the answers.
He enters onto the courtyard, and he sees Emilia ahead, her silver hair parted into two braids, and her hands clasped together in front of her body. Hah, she looks really pretty in the moonlight like that. She had clearly been waiting for a while, and he couldn't blame her, because the weight of what she has learned today is heavy.
Subaru approaches her, but despite his preparations, he isn't ready for the question that she actually asks him.
"Why?"
Subaru's breath catches, and he looks down at the ground. Shit. I'm not ready for this-
"Why are you helping me?"
A question we all would like to know…
Indeed, everyone wanted to know the answer to that question. Even his parents, who had been quiet for the majority of this viewing, wanted to know why Subaru would be willing to suffer like that. Was it a sense of responsibility? Guilt? Duty? Why?
Emilia in particular, wanted to know. Why would he do all of this? She was horrified in learning that her knight had suffered unimaginable horrors.
Was it because he promised her? She could understand that promises shouldn't be broken. But… Subaru has broken his promises before, he even admitted to that! But as she thought about it more, she wondered if every action, every promise he broke, was because he knew something horrible would happen if he didn't act.
While that would be harder to understand back at his embarrassment at the Royal Selection, the Sanctuary would have made complete sense, given the magnitude of the threats.
But… maybe it was a promise to himself?
Subaru didn't think of this question. To him, the answer was obvious, as he had spent so much time with her and fallen for her so quickly. But he had failed to realize that to her, they had only spent a few fleeting moments together, and so she would find it hard to rationalize his desire to help her.
He looks back up, expecting to see a look of… judgment? Confusion? Fear? But as he looks back up, his eyes instead come to rest on a set of tearful eyes that very clearly show pain. Not just pain, but belief, belief in what he has said even though it must be so incredibly horrible for her to have learned this truth – and Subaru realizes his answer.
Despite learning something that would freak out most people, she still shows concern about him above everything else. Of course, not concern like a lover would show, or even a friend – they're not at that level yet – but concern nonetheless. So Subaru decides to respond with the honest truth:
"You were the only person kind enough to reach your hand out to me in an unfamiliar world, and I couldn't bare seeing – bare seeing – "
"Seeing me d-die?" Emilia stutters.
"Yeah," Subaru says, realizing that there's no point in trying to hide it. Doing that would only make things worse later on.
"So, I have died," the half-elf said, her tone flat.
"Yeah."
"Who else?" Beatrice asked. "Who else here have you seen die?"
"Heh, it would probably be easier to say who I haven't seen die…"
The joke did not help to lighten everyone's mood. Emilia kept watching, just like everyone else, but she kept her eyes and ears open, to see his reasoning. Why would he do all of that?
"I want to be your strength, Emilia-tan. I want to make sure to save you, and everyone else too. I want to make the bad futures go away and carve out a path that will make everything okay."
Emilia can tell he isn't lying. They stand silently on the courtyard grass for a while, milling over their thoughts in their heads…
"-tan?" Emilia asks.
Subaru snorts, to Emilia's confusion. "Huh, did I say something wrong?" she asks, perplexed.
"It's just…that's the fourth time you've gotten confused about that. It's an honorific from my old country. Don't worry about it, Emilia-tan."
They go back to their silence. Subaru has little else to say, as he knows that Emilia needs time to think about what he's told her.
Then, Emilia starts to cry.
"Wait – Emilia, what's wrong?" Subaru pleads.
"Does dying hurt, Subaru?"
"Wha–?"
"I've died before…haven't I? And yet I seem to have only just met you… so I'm probably going to die more, aren't I? Does it hurt? I don't want to die, don't want to die, don't want to die –!" Emilia breaks down, sobbing at the realization that, if events unwind like they have in the past, she'll need to experience the pain of death. Many times more.
Subaru grabs her shoulders. They're smooth!- nope, come on, focus on the task at hand. "No. I won't…won't let that happen. I'll change the future before that happens, use my power before you experience that pain. There's no reason for you to need to experience that anymore. I've learned from my mistakes…this Emilia won't be going anywhere."
"Emilia-tan." He finishes, wiping one of her tears away.
"W-what?"
"I like you. And I'll protect you, because I want to be your strength."
"And you did," Emilia said, in a realization.
"Hm?"
"You did," Emilia said, making everyone turn to listen. "You could have left at any moment, and you could have lived a full life. But you decided to stay with us. I may not fully know what you've gone through, but you are indeed our strength, Subaru."
"I… thanks, Emilia-tan."
"Barusu, you will accompany Rem to the village to do our required shopping. Don't let your indecent tendencies get the better of you."
The cheek, I haven't even done anything in this life like that –
"Oh, it skipped to the next day," Ram realized.
"Why would it do that?" Otto asked.
"If I can put my two cents in, it's probably story-relevant," Kenichi said, speaking for the first time since learning of his son's terrible secret. "I wouldn't just want to watch someone sleep for the next twelve hours or so, so they just skipped to the next part."
"Ah, thanks, Natuski-san."
Subaru halts his train of thought, as realization hits him. Going to the village…that isn't supposed to happen until the fourth day. Why is it now happening on the second? Of course, he welcomes the change, as for all he knows, it could bubble down the chain of events to be the thing that saves him from death, but… how weird. Surely his laziness couldn't have made them require a shopping trip two days earlier?
His train of thoughts is interrupted by Ram. "Normally, we would go in two days from now to collect the shopping we require, but circumstances have arisen that require us to urgently collect some equipment. Rem will handle that, while you will deal with the regular shopping."
Equipment? That sounds foreboding… but I'll have to go with it for now. Let's hope she isn't getting stuff to torture me with, or something like that…!
Hearing this, everyone became suspicious of the maids, and by extension Roswaal.
"That is quite stupid," Ram huffs. "Despite what I may say about him, we would never hurt Barusu."
"Yes, that's right!" Rem followed her sister. "Subaru-kun's our hero!"
Subaru quietly gulps, as he notices how everyone shifted at his internal thoughts, and the twins' declarations. He wasn't stupid. Having lived and died for as long as he did, he managed to adapt and pick up on somethings, like social cues. Especially people's tells.
He knew that the rest of the Cast was suspicious of the maids. He only hoped that his on-screen counterpart wouldn't tell Emilia why he screamed bloody murder that particular loop. Because if that happened… then that would break the twins.
"Alright, sure, I'll go with you. Ready, Rem?" Subaru replies to Ram's instructions.
"Weird, Rem would have thought that you would need some sleep first… yes, let's go," Rem replies, smirking.
Well, that's a start.
The village trip was similar to the others that he had been on, and Subaru was relieved that he could at least joke with Rem while they went on the trip. There were only two main differences:
First, Rem obtained a bag of mysterious items that she wouldn't show to Subaru under any circumstance. Weird.
Seeing this, Rem couldn't help but become suspicious of herself, wondering if her other self was really planning to hurt her Hero. Rem shook her head to dismiss the thoughts.
Subaru-kun was her Hero! He saved her! He saved all of them! Why would she ever want to hurt him? No, she wouldn't, it just made no sense!
Subaru, meanwhile, was feeling the weight of the world sinking into his stomach. It only took one look towards Rem side to see that she had complete faith in her counterpart that she wouldn't hurt the Japanese teenager.
If the universe was as cruel as Subaru remembered, things would go downhill real fucking fast.
Second, when the children came around with a puppy to show off, it was Rem who was bitten while playing with them.
To Subaru, this list of divergences seemed acceptable. Whether it would be enough to stave off death, he didn't quite know. But it seemed a whole lot better than doing nothing, and besides, he still had one more person he needed to talk to tonight. Emilia.
"Subaru, Betty has a question."
"Shoot, Beako."
"How many times did you have to do this week to survive?"
"It took me four lives to make it to the end."
Everyone looked at him with certain horror, but if it was because he had the exact number, or because he had it off the top of his head, no one could say,
Which is how he found himself out in the courtyard again, late at night. This time, he was sitting with her, but while he was glad to be in her presence again, he lamented that he wasn't able to do certain things he had done in previous loops. He hadn't been able to show her his radio calisthenics or anything! Instead, he had only brought her pain…he needed to fix that soon.
"Subaru."
"What's up, Emilia-tan?"
"I'm going to save you too. I know that…you can't die, but I know that you can't keep it up forever. Deep down, you're just like me, a normal person."
"… I really don't deserve to sit next to someone like you, Emilia-tan."
"Anyway. We need to figure out how to save you. So, first, you need to tell me how you've died so far."
"Alright, but first…I need to correct something you just said."
Emilia pauses. What did she say that was wrong?
Subaru continues. "You said I can't die, as in I'll always keep repeating… but I don't know that. I don't know if there's a limit to my ability, if eventually it will run out and – I'll just stay de–"
"It doesn't matter, I won't let that happen! If there is a limit, we won't reach it. I'll save you before you hit that limit," Emilia interrupts, the words bursting out of her. Subaru stares in shock at the source of the outburst, having never seen that come from her before. It doesn't affect how he feels about her, though.
"Is there a limit?"
Wilhelm looked offended at the statement. "Priscilla-sama, that is not an appropriate –"
"I didn't ask you old man, I asked the boy," she sneered. "Is there a limit?"
Everyone was silent for a moment, looking at Subaru, seeing if he would answer.
Sighing in defeat, he said, "There is no limit. I'm immortal in the worst possible way."
Once again, everyone could only look at Subaru with silent horror.
"I understand. In that case… my deaths. The first – I honestly don't know. As far as I can tell, I was perfectly fine, went to sleep, and then woke up having used Return by Death in my sleep. The second – I can't be certain, but I think it was – Rem."
At that, the theater went silent again.
SHIT, Subaru internally swore, as he saw everyone's heads turn towards the blue maid.
"W-what…?" Rem squeaked out, not wanting to believe what she heard. Why?! Why would she ever want to harm the man she loved?!
And then it clicked. Rem would never want to harm the person who saved her, but a random teenager her liege "found", brought back home, and was reeking of the Witch's Scent…?
No… no, please no… Rem was terrified. Had… had she really done that to her Subaru-kun? Had she really… killed him? The thought made her want to vomit.
Emilia gasps at the thought. "No… why?" she whimpers, because she is interpreting this not just as Rem turning against Subaru, but Rem turning against Emilia, too – how could Rem kill Subaru if she cared about Emilia?
Emilia had been rejected enough times in her life already, she finally had found solace with these people, and now –
She calms herself. "Sorry. Please continue, Subaru."
"… alright. The second time, I was experiencing severe sickness. I was vomiting, my head spun, and my… life felt like it was leaving my body. I went out into the hallway to try to cry for help, but I was killed by an attacker. The only thing I heard was the sound of a chain. I'm sure that if the attacker hadn't killed me, I would have died of a sickness similar to whatever I died of on the first night. As for why I think it was Rem… on the third night, that's exactly who killed me. And she used a weapon with a chain."
"No…"
As Al paused the show, everyone looked over to the blue-haired maid, who was as white as a sheet, with tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.
"Rem…"
"Sister, I…"
"Is it true?" Beatrice quietly hissed.
"Beako?"
"IS IT TRUE?! DID THIS WOMAN HURT BETTY'S SUBARU?!"
"Beako! Don't hurt her!" Subaru yelled, trying to calm down his contracted Spirit.
"No! She has to be eliminated! For Subaru's safety –"
"Well, by that logic, you might as well kill Julius, too."
Everyone paused from freaking out over Beatrice's delcleration of murder, to stunned silence, as they looked over to the mentioned purple-hiared knight. "W-what?"
"I said that you killed me. Felix boiled my blood so I couldn't move, and you swung your sword down at me."
"But I…"
"Puck froze me three times. Ram slashed my throat out. Roswaal left me to get eaten alive. Meili drained me of my mana. Even the Royal Candidates, with the exception of Felt, all of them left me to die. Hell, the only people in this room who were never responsible for any of my deaths, in one way or another, were Reinhard, Frederica, Petra, Felt, and my parents. That's it."
Everyone was silent at what they heard.
"So, by that logic, Beako, and everyone else who thinks that Rem should be punished… by that logic, you should all kill yourselves to atone. But I'm not going to let you do that. Because I know you're all victims of circumstance, who were working with limited information. And because I know that you're all capable of making yourselves better."
"..."
"Now… I'm going to ask you all to leave Rem alone. Now."
It was quiet for a few seconds, before the people furthest away from Subaru started to sit back down. Eventually, Beako faltered, and sat back down as well.
Despite the silence, the situation was far from calm. As everyone processed the information given to them, and wondered a similar question.
What had they done to Subaru?
"I've been trying to make sure I don't go down a path that could lead to Rem killing me again, but for the poisoning, I really am stuck…"
"You weren't poisoned," Emilia interrupts.
"Wait, what?" Subaru responds, confused as to how she could be so certain.
"I mean, if you mean poisoned as in food, or drink… there is no way. Roswaal, as most Lords are, is very careful that any food or drink given to their guests or staff is safe. It would be a huge shame on the Lord if someone was to die in their care from poisoning, you see. So they use very strong magic to prevent it. So I can only think of one thing that would cause you to have symptoms like what you were describing. Your mana and Od being depleted, drained to zero."
"Okay, so… what could cause that to happen so suddenly?"
"A curse is the only thing. But again, curses can't be placed on someone inside of these grounds. Powerful magic prevents it. Which means…"
Upon hearing the deductive reason of Emilia, many people in the Emilia Camp figured out what he was talking about. Especially the likes of Petra and Meili.
It was the Mabeast Invasion.
Meili gulped in her seat. She was already patching things up with Petra after Elsa's death, but this "show" was making her skate on thin fucking ice. Subaru already mentioned how she killed him once. If the others figured out that she was almost responsible for more deaths…
Whatever happens to me, it'll be better than if Mama ever finds me.
"… I must have had it placed on me in the village…" Subaru completes Emilia's sentence, coming to the same realization as her. Worst of all, he realizes that…
"If I received the curse in the village… and then died the same day… and I went there today… then!" Subaru throws his head down and screams in horror as he realizes the predicament that he's in. My actions just shifted the time limit closer, not further away!
"No… Subaru, I won't let you die! If you were cursed, Beatrice can undo it… we need to go there now!" Emilia half-shouts, realizing that time was going to run out quickly if they didn't move immediately. Subaru jumps to his feet, knowing that this was his best chance of avoiding going back to the start of this hellish loop, and looks up, but —
I thought I had done better this time. So why…
Standing between them and the mansion, was Rem, with a single glowing horn poking out of her Subaru awoke to the sound of his own breathing, and nothing more. His eyes slowly opened to the familiar ceiling of the mansion, and he realized that he was completely alone. The thought that he wasn't important enough to warrant having someone stay by his side made him harbor a fleeting moment of sadness, but he quickly shrugged this off and allowed himself to replace it with a slight joy at the fact that he wouldn't have to burden anyone anymore.
Rem stood in front of Subaru and Emilia, but from Subaru's perspective, it looked like she intended to stand in front of only him.
"Emilia-sama," Rem spoke, her voice tinged with respect, yet also disgust, and the unmistakable flare of an oni. Of course, the disgust was not aimed at Emilia, but at Subaru instead, and Rem was simply unable to hide it while speaking to Emilia. "You must go inside. I will take care of this problem."
"Subaru-kun, I…"
"It's fine, Rem. I don't hold anything against you."
"But –"
"It's fine. Please."
Rem relented, but the pain and self-hatred refused to leave her.
"What are you planning on doing to him?" Emilia begged Rem to know. She clung to the little hope she had in her heart that what she had heard before was untrue, that Subaru had simply made a mistake-
Rem, thinking that Emilia couldn't handle the truth, avoids the question.
"He is against us. I heard how he spoke to you. To try to tell you that I would attempt to kill him unprovoked…he seeks to turn us against each other, as a Witch Cultist would."
"Wait, why would she think that you're a Witch Cultist?" Reinhard asked.
"Probably because I smell like one," Subaru answered.
Everyone turned to look at him once more. They knew for a fact that he wasn't a Witch Cultist, so to have the stench of one… that meant something bigger was at play here.
Subaru realized he had been far too careless. He didn't even realize the possibility that someone could have overheard his and Emilia's discussions. How could I have been so stupid? Now, due to his own stupidity, he would be sent back into the void to loop again… unless he could find a way out.
Clearly, Rem hadn't fully overheard them. It seemed she had only heard bits and wasn't aware of either the existence of Return by Death or its nature. In other words, she genuinely thought that Subaru had been trying to turn Emilia against her.
In this instant, Subaru wasn't mad at this Rem. He understood her perfectly: her fear, anger and more. He didn't know why she hated this "Witch Cult" so much, or what it even was, in fact, but still he understood her rage. Clearly, they'd done something terrible to her in the past; however, that wouldn't stop him from trying to escape this hellish cycle.
So, he stands up, and declares – "Rem, I –"
But Rem's rage boils over – "Silence!" - and the last thing Subaru hears is the sound of a chain as it strikes his head.
"AIIEE!" Petra screamed as she saw her hero getting bludgeoned on-screen, hugging Frederica like she was a lifeline, as did Meili.
Rem could feel her heart split in half as she saw her own self attack the man she loves, the man who saved her life and did so much to save everyone.
It's no wonder he chose Emilia-sama. I never stood a chance… the blue oni depressingly thought.
Failed already, huh? He thinks, and then an instant later, his eyes roll back and his consciousness begins to vanish, as his body is flung away.
Fuck this.
"Is he giving up?" Al asked, almost calmly.
"How can you be so calm right now?!" Felix gaped.
"This isn't my first rodeo, Argyle."
Except Subaru refuses to accept that. I won't pass out now and leave Emilia to fend for herself. What kind of a man am I if I were to do that? Clearly Rem had not intended to kill him – firstly, if she wanted to do that, he would already be dead, hence the non-fatal blow from the chain, and secondly, he knew that Rem wouldn't want to expose the innocent Emilia to that kind of torment. He knew that he still had a chance.
Subaru wills a spark of consciousness to remain with him, unable to manage anything more just yet. Just enough to watch what is happening. He watches as Emilia's breath leaves her, as she stares in shock, and Rem's conflicted eyes dash between Emilia's pale face and Subaru's struggling body.
"He was just scared, Rem…"
Emilia and Rem both stand in silence. Rem, trying to parse what Emilia had just said to her. Why, after all, would someone who came here with the intention of harming Rem and her family be scared? Emilia, on the other hand, remembered back to when she first came to the mansion.
She had been so afraid of the world, the world which had cruelly hurt her on so many occasions. She'd been rejected by so many people that she had lost count. But when she came to the mansion, suddenly she had people who promised they would help her to reach her goals. Rem was one of those people. As an employee of Roswaal, who had promised to help Emilia, she had no choice but to help Emilia as well.
Emilia, like most people, was quiet at this scene showing her internal monologue. She remembered how important promises were to Mother Fortuna, to Puck, even to herself. But then, Subaru came into her life, someone who made one promise bigger than all the rest…
He promised to keep them all safe, even if it meant breaking any other promise he deemed necessary.
Emilia understood what it was like to be afraid, but now, she was lucky enough to have those who would promise to help her… Subaru didn't have the same. Then, under her breath, Emilia talks –
"I said I would save him, but I couldn't… because of me, Subaru is… Subaru is…" Emilia trails off, tears forming on her cheeks.
Subaru gathered all his strength, lifting his head ever so slightly. It's now or never, Subaru…
His voice cancels Emilia's sentence, and he substitutes his own. "Subaru is your friend, Rem."
"You still had the strength to talk?" Wilhelm asked, dumbfounded. "After that blow?"
"I'm tougher than I look," Subaru jokes. Though, to be fair, it was true. He was able to yell at Rem after his leg got chopped off, and was mad at Roswaal even after Elsa put out his eye that one time. Maybe all of these deaths have hardened my constitution a bit?
Emilia and Rem both gasped at the sound of Subaru's audibly struggling voice. How could he remain awake after a blow like that? Almost as soon as their thoughts are finished, Subaru's head falls back down onto the grass, and consciousness leaves his body.
When Subaru came to again, he realized two things. First, he's lying in a bed – not the courtyard – and secondly, his hands are being held. Just like the past three loops.
He knows Ram and Rem might hear him, but he whispers to himself anyway.
"I failed. Again. No matter what I try, I can't get past this…inescapable future. What's the point of trying anymore? How can I muster everything I have to tell Emilia the truth again? To face my murderer again ? I should… should just run away. There's nothing for me here. Nothing…" Subaru paused. Wait, how come only one of my hands is being held? Subaru's eyes opened slowly, painfully slowly, as he was scared to see what would be on the other side once they were open. As soon as he saw the first glimpse of silver hair in his vision, he realized that he was wrong. He was saved. He was… saved? Subaru tries to lift his head, but –
"Subaru-kun… did you ask for me to run away with you because of –"
"Yes," Subaru answered, knowing Rem's question. "Only what we faced… was far worse."
Hearing this, Rem couldn't help but recall her words to convince him to stay.
"It's easy to give up."
To convince him to die again and again.
Rem didn't realize until this moment that she realized how wrong she was when her hero – when Subaru asked her to run away with him. Rem felt like the lowest of scum for doing such a thing to the man she loves.
"Subaru… you should rest. Please," Emilia spoke, an emotion Subaru couldn't quite decipher tinging her voice.
"Emilia, what about my –"
"And don't ever say that you should run away! I know you've been through a lot, but still…"
Subaru knows that what she's saying is right, but still, he repeats himself. Even though his head is splitting, he needs to make sure it wasn't all for nought – "Emilia, what about my curse?"
"Oh, uhm… well, I asked Beatrice to check you for curses, but she said that you were completely free of them. Maybe you were just lucky this time, or they won't set curses unless you go to the village on the fourth night…?"
"I do have a question," Julius asked. "Something similar to this happened in our reality, right?"
"Yes," Ram answered. "There was a Mabeast invasion, and Barusu was unfortunate enough to be the one cursed, along with several of the village children. Luckily, there were no casualties."
It was left unsaid by everyone that Subaru probably made sure that there would be no casualties.
Subaru thought to himself. It's possible that this could be the reason why no curse was set on him, but he doesn't believe that it is. Life is never that simple. No, if there's no curse on him, it must be because of a difference in what happened when he went to the village this time. That's the only way that his fate could have changed.
There were barely any differences, though. In fact, only two, so he remembered them perfectly.
Which is why Subaru's breathing stopped as he remembered them. Rem going for extra items wouldn't stop me getting cursed… but… This time, she was bitten by the same puppy that I was bitten by… and I wasn't.
If Subaru's intuition was right… then he had every right to go into a full-on panic.
"Emilia… where is Rem?"
"She's away from here, Subaru, you can rest safely here for now –"
"Where is she?!" Subaru pleaded, looking directly into Emilia's shocked eyes.
"She… she left to go to the forest in the village, and said she would atone for what she had done. I am sure she'll be back soon, if that is what you are asking – Subaru?! You shouldn't be standing; you took a serious blow to the head!"
"Emilia." Subaru seriously spoke. "I don't have the curse because Rem has it instead."
Hearing this, Ram couldn't help but wonder out of fear which she rarely showed. "Barusu, did Rem ever contract the curse in… our set of events?"
"Actually, yeah. In fact, it was in this very loop." Subaru began to explain, "After my attempt to reveal my power failed…" That made the Cast curious as to what he meant, but they let him continue, "... I isolated myself out of fear. Then Beako made a temporary contract to protect me."
Beatrice was surprised to hear that Subaru had previously contacted her.
"I stayed in the Forbidden Library most of the day, only leaving to eat, and then Beatrice was summoned out of nowhere. After I left the library, Emilia took me to Rem's room where we… found her dead." The Cast were a bit shocked, but allowed Subaru to continue.
"Ram was crying her eyes out, and I was trying to figure out why Rem died. Roswaal mentioned a shaman possibly being responsible which I knew about from previous loops trying to figure everything out. I flinched, and I guess that gave Ram enough reason to believe that I was the killer."
The rest of the Cast, and even his parents, were horrified by what they heard, but that last part made Ram gulp in fear, as she asked, "How did you die?"
"Well…" Subaru sighed, "Let's just say you weren't the one to kill me."
Emilia felt her heart stop temporarily as she realized the implication of what he had said. That meant that if they didn't find Rem soon… really soon…
"We have to stop her from dying. Either that, or I'll Return by Death again."
"YOU WOULDN'T!" Everyone's heads turned to the sound of Felix screaming. "You wouldn't dare do syuch a thing, would you?! To take your own life?! You said that Julius-kyun and I killed you… but this?! What kind of myonster are you, to do something like thyat?!"
"Felix…"
"It's fine, Crusch," Subaru calmly said. "And to answer your question… I have done it. Multiple times, in fact. Remember when I said Ram wasn't the one to kill me? I'll let you guess how I went out."
"No… you didn't…" Felix was horrified. There was no other way to say it.
"After Ram believed I was the one who killed Rem, I ran. As far as I could. I stopped at a cliff where I could see the mansion in the distance," Subaru explained, "I thought to myself, 'If I died, everything would go back to normal', and as I stepped up to throw myself over the edge… I couldn't bring myself to do it."
Everyone was confused. They know Subaru did die and reset everything since that never happened for them.
"I was scared. I still didn't know if my power had a limit or not, and I couldn't help but wonder if I wouldn't wake up again. I guess I passed out from fatigue trying to gather the courage I needed, since when I woke up, Beatrice and Ram caught up to me."
Everyone was quiet as Subaru continued his story. All of his friends looked at him in varying degrees of sadness, while his own parents wore expressions that made their emotions quite visible, but no one interrupted him.
"After we talked or however you wanna put it, I realized what I needed to do. The last thing I said as I was falling off that cliff was 'I'm going to save you'... and I did."
Both Rem and Rem didn't say anything, but within their own minds, they vowed to do everything in their power to pay back the person who went through so much suffering to help them.
"I know it's wrong, I know it could be considered cowardly, but I swear that I only do it when the situation gets really bad. When I… can't go on."
The more this episode went on, the more and more everyone learned about Subaru, and the more and more they became horrified. Not even Priscilla could keep a straight face.
"'Really bad'?" Felix hissed. "WHAT THE FUCK IS 'REALLY BAD'?!"
Subaru was quiet for a moment, before saying, "You don't want to know."
"No… you can't…" Emilia whispered, as she realized the true meaning of what Subaru just said. Truth be told, she was scared. Scared of the thought that her memories would be wiped, that she wouldn't be able to remember anything, that Subaru would have to experience that pain again because of her –
"You can't stop me, Emilia, so let's go! Else everything that's happened will disappear, and it will all go to waste again!"
Emilia swallowed her breath and silently accepted what Subaru had said. She knew that all she could do is try to make sure that this future is the right one, that Subaru wouldn't have to go down the lonely path of death again…
Subaru puts a single hand on her right shoulder. "I know we can do it, Emilia-tan."
She smiled weakly at hearing that -tan honorific that she didn't fully understand yet. For some reason, it gave her some comfort.
"Okay. I'll go with you, Subaru."Subaru Natsuki had one objective – to find Rem. If he failed, he'd have to bring his own demise at the next available opportunity. Having never been backed into a situation where he'd have to do that yet… he wasn't particularly fond of the idea.
He had been running for a couple minutes now, shouting for Rem, but no response made its way back to him. Other than himself, the only noises he could hear were the rustling of the leaves under his feet, and the gentle symphony of the noises that the animals of the forest made. Until he heard a shout-
"Help!"
That voice…
"Help, please! Anyone!"
…isn't Rem's.
Subaru turned his attention towards the direction of the noise and continued his run, until he broke out into an opening with a field. On top of a hill, he saw the source of the noise. Wait, those are the children from earlier…why on earth are they here?
Subaru surveys his surroundings. Confident that the situation he's in isn't a trap, he came to the top of the hill, and saw the six children. What the hell happened here?!
The six children lay in a circle on the top of the hill. They had cuts and bruises and were clearly unconscious…and whoever had been calling for him seemed to have passed out just as he managed to get there. Luckily, however, none of their wounds seemed to be life-threatening. Thank God for that, Subaru thought to himself, glad that none of these innocent lives were taken by whatever awful power resided in this forest.
Uh-oh, Meili's eyes widened.
"The Mabeast invasion…"
"So, the 'Tumultuous Week' really was Subaru-kun's first week from the Mansion," Roswaal realized, his speech impediment gone. "And by 'Fourth Loop', it meant his fourth life."
The clown made sure to remember that information for future viewings.
Footsteps behind Subaru brought him to his senses again, and he quickly turned around, only to come face-to-face with the blue-haired maid he'd been looking for. Did she come here because of the voice as well? Luckily for him, she didn't seem to be in her Oni form, so she had clearly calmed down.
"Rem…" Subaru softly spoke, choosing his words carefully so that he did not inflame the situation. He knew what she was capable of-
"Rem is sorry, Subaru." Rem spoke before Subaru could express any of his thoughts, and a wave of relief came over Subaru. Before he could say anything, she continued. "Rem is sorry for jumping to conclusions. Emilia-sama explained to Rem the truth behind what you said, and now Rem understands why you said what you did."
Subaru pauses at the potential meaning behind what Rem just said. Surely Emilia didn't tell her about Return by Death, did she?
"Rem did not know that Subaru suffered from bad dreams, so she went into the forest to try to get some herbs that… that would help Subaru with his sleep. Rem hopes that Subaru will accept her apologies," Rem finished, bowing her head to complete her apology.
Subaru is silent, and then –
"Hahahaha!" He laughs unintentionally, confusing Rem.
"Why is he laughing?" Mimi asked.
"He's probably already gone insane," Priscilla humphed.
"Nah, that happens WAY later," Subaru hummed, unsettling the Cast once again.
"Did Rem say something wrong?"
"No, Rem, you're fine, don't worry. I was laughing at myself for thinking that you wanted to hurt me, and then it turns out you go through all this trouble to help me… thank you, Rem, I really appreciate it." Subaru explained, with a lie slipped in. Of course, he didn't just think that Rem wanted to hurt him, he knew it… but she didn't need to know that, did she? He wasn't lying, though, about finding what Rem had done funny. Then his expression darkened.
"Rem, I came here because you're cursed."
"-?!" Rem is visibly shocked by what he has said, but Subaru continues.
"Let me finish, please. Haven't you noticed these children behind us?"
Subaru stepped aside, showing Rem the scene that had taken place behind him. Rem hadn't been paying attention to their surroundings, and so the sight only served to further deepen her shock.
"I think, just like you, these children have probably been cursed, too. Something happened when we were at that village… I think it might have had something to do with that puppy that they were playing with. You were bitten by it, weren't you?"
Rem swallowed as the weight of what Subaru just explained hit her, and then nodded.
"Alright. It's fine, Beatrice can help us, as long as we get back to the mansion as quickly as possible. She can undo all of these curses. We'll just get some of the villagers to help us with bringing the children along, and then everything will be alright, okay?"
She nods again. "Rem understands, but why are you doing this for her? Rem isn't deserving of your help after what she did…"
"That's simple, dummy. Because you're my friend!" Subaru answers, giving her a bright smile.
"You would really befriend someone who tried to kill you?" Otto asked the nasty-eyed boy.
"Hey, if I didn't, half the people in this theater wouldn't be my friends. You included."
The merchant's face, along with several others, paled at hearing that. Hearing this, Rem and Ram wondered how Subaru forgave them for what they had done. Rem was still suffering from heartbreak for hurting her hero, and Ram couldn't help but feel ashamed for insulting him non-stop after he even sacrificed his own life to save her sissy.
To think, after everything that happened between us, Barusu was willing to forgive us and put up with my constant insults, Ram mentally noted. Any normal man would've despised us with unbridled hatred, and yet he holds nothing against us. He truly is an idiot, but he's our idiot.
While she would never admit it, at that moment, a smile could be seen on Ram's face.
Rem's confused face takes a second to process what he has said, and then – she gives him a small smile herself, satisfied with his answer.
Before they have time to say anything further, they hear rustling from outside the opening, and Subaru is shocked to see Emilia emerging from the trees, seemingly disheveled and disturbed-
"Emilia? What's up, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost…!"
Emilia looked up at the voice that was speaking to her. She was glad to see Subaru and Rem standing next to each other as equals, rather than enemies, but she had no time to dawdle on that fact. "Subaru, Rem, we need to leave now –"
Before she could finish her sentence, she was abruptly stopped by the leaping of an animal from the trees – no, a Mabeast – as if on cue. Subaru saw the same-
"Rem!" Subaru and Emilia both shout, and Rem finds herself having been pushed backwards, out of the way of the path of the Mabeast –
And Natsuki Subaru finds himself directly in the path, instead.
"SUBARU!" Emilia and Rem both scream in unison.
So that's how it is, huh? Subaru calmly thought to himself, accepting what had happened.
The mabeast pounced onto Subaru, and everything went black.
"JESUS CHRIST!" Al yelled out loud at the sight of Subaru getting munched on.
"SUBARU!" various people could be screaming their voices out. The younger ones on the audience quickly hid behind their guardians, while those with weaker hearts tried to hold in their lunches, which was hard, considering what they saw with Rem's attack.
"Everyone, remain calm!" Crusch said. "A scene change is happening!"
Ack… what even happened to me? Everything hurts, yet again. It looks like someone's changed me into some clean clothes, but yet I feel dirty at the same time. I hope it wasn't Roswaal who decided to change my clothes…
"I would neeeeever…"
"Even if it was Echidna?"
"I would do it under one condiiiiition."
Ignoring his aching body, Subaru slowly rose from his bed and made his way out of the room he had woken up in. With no idea what time of the day it was, he decided that he would simply have to find someone in the mansion and interrogate them to figure out what had happened since the incident with Rem.
The only problem was, however, that the corridors of the mansion seemed to be completely empty. Normally he would encounter at least one stray soul while walking around.
"-hope he's okay…"
As Subaru walked past the dining hall of the mansion, he heard voices emanating from within. Ah, of course! I'm such an idiot, they must be having a meal. Well, it's time to make my grand entrance…
"Subaru, do you always have to do something like that?" Julius asked.
"It's my method of coping."
Pushing the doors open, Subaru flamboyantly announced –
"Guess wh-who-wh-, ahh, damnit, I messed up my entrance speech! Why of all times would I choose now to stutter, and make myself look like a complete fool? Honestly…"
Subaru looked at the grand dining table in front of him. Sure enough, the residents of the mansion were sitting there, and had been eating as normal, but to Subaru's surprise, they didn't have an expression of pleasure on their faces, or relief that he was better – but rather – shock?
His eyes surveyed the group of people sitting at the table curiously. Emilia, Roswaal, Ram, Rem, even Beatrice and Puck – they were all there. Of course, Beatrice was uninterested as usual, but Subaru was surprised to see a look of shock even on Puck's feline features. Oddly enough, Rem had glanced at Subaru, but returned to looking down at her food – Subaru wasn't entirely sure why – but why were they so surprised to see him?
"Hey, guys, this is starting to creep me out a bit… my entrance wasn't that bad, was it?"
"Subaru…"
"Ya know, seein' him act like his usual goofy self when we know some o' th' context feels really… wrong," Ricardo said, holding onto Mimi and Tivey.
"You do indeed have a point," Reinhard nodded, grimly.
Emilia's gentle voice rang out across the dining hall, and she rose from her seat and started to walk towards him, an unreadable expression plastering itself over her face.. "Uhh, wait, Emilia-tan, what's the problem –" Subaru stuttered, trying to step backwards and move out of the way of the oncoming half-elf, only to find himself pulled into her warm embrace a moment later.
"Subaru, you dunderhead… you fell asleep on us for three days, and then you come back to us like this?" Emilia gently choked out a rebuke of Subaru's behavior, although the rebuke had no real teeth to it.
"Who even says dunderhead anymore? Wait, did you just say three days?!"
"Yes! Three days! We've all been worried sick about you –"
"Don't include me in that, Barusu's wellbeing is insignificant in my list of concerns," Ram hastily interjected.
Seeing this, Ram gave a sigh. "I feel like I should start apologizing for treating you like dirt, Ba– Subaru."
"While I appreciate that, Ram, calling me "Subaru" feels weird coming from you." Subaru was a bit relieved, but he preferred her little nickname. He's become quite attached to it.
"Alright, "Barusu" stays, but I'll tone down the insults." Even Ram sees that the nickname has become its own little tradition.
"Thanks."
"The boy's welfare is irrelevant to me as well, I suppose." Beatrice added.
Subaru weakly smiled at the knowledge that nothing had truly changed regarding his relationship with the mansion's residents. "I'm still here, you know guys. Anyway, Emilia-tan, I could happily stay locked in your embrace for an eternity, but like you mentioned, I haven't eaten in three days…"
"Ah, of course, I'm sorry, I should have considered your health –"
"No, I'm sorry Emilia, it's my fault that I've been so lazy that I've slept for three days straight, isn't it?"
"…hmph." Emilia harrumphed at the comment that Subaru made about himself, and without warning, she turned around and returned to her seat.
He picked the seat closest to Emilia, who shuffled in her seat a tiny, but still perceptible amount when he did so. God, I really hope she isn't mad at me about anything…!
As he took his first bite of food, his ravenous instincts took over, and he practically inhaled the plate of food before him. After only a couple of minutes, the plate was rendered bare, and Subaru leaned back in his chair in contentment.
Seeing that the boy had finished his meal, Roswaal addressed him, dragging out his words with his signature manner of speech. "So, Subaaaaaru-kun, it seems that yooou have performed another act of immeasureableeee value for my household yet agaaaain. As a result, it is only natural that I muuuuust offer you the choice of a reeeeewaaard once more. What is it that yoooou desire?"
"Luckily for you, Ros-chi, I predicted this question already! So don't worry about having to waste your time waiting for a response."
"Loooovely Subaru-kun, although please, do not consider my time to be so valuable that I could not afford to spend a couple fleeeeeeting minutes waiting for you to come up with an answer. In that caaaaase, what do you choose?"
"What I want, Ros-chi, is a date with Emilia-tan!"
Everyone was silent for a few moments, before –
"That's it?" Al asked, dumbfounded. "After all of the suffering you went through… you just want a date with your crush?! Dude, you're seriously underselling your value here!"
"Eh, to be fair, from everyone else's perspectives, I didn't really do much, since they don't know about the looping," Subaru explained. "Plus, I just really wanted a date with Emilia-tan."
"The heart wants wha' it wants, I guess," Anastasia grumbled.
Elsewhere in the theater, the parents of a certain Japnese teemnager planned to talk with their son about certain things. They had missed him for two months, and he's experienced trauma beyond compare, so of course they would talk to him as soon as they could.
Not at the moment, of course. They still had some things to process.
Subaru expected some kind of response to his statement. A gasp, or a laugh, or anything at all, really. So he was instead uncomfortably surprised when the response to his request was pure silence, and nothing more.
"Hey, guys, you know I don't like it when everyone goes silent. Could someone say something, please?"
Emilia's inquisitive voice broke the silence of the room. "Subaru, a… dayte? What is that?"
Oh… Of course…in this loop, I haven't explained to her, or anyone else, what a date is yet. In this loop…
A response to Emilia's question never came forth from Subaru. His expression darkened as he remembered every interaction he had been through, in every one of the past loops that he had experienced in the mansion. He remembered them all from zero, in vivid detail, and then remembered the deaths that had caused those experiences to be wiped.
While everyone was sickened by seeing his deaths in such gory detail, the tone and context also made this sad. They could never imagine being forced to start over, with everyone you know forgetting all the experiences they've had, whether that be good or bad.
He would never get those back, and he would never experience them again. Every laugh he had shared, every joke he had cracked…they had been completely wiped from existence, as if they had never happened. Technically speaking, it was true – they had never happened. Those he had shared them with were the lucky ones, none the wiser as to the truth of what transpired in those now-deleted timelines. Subaru was the one who would have to deal with the truth.
The truth was that they were gone, and the truth broke Subaru.
Subaru's eyes summoned a single tear each, and they rolled down his cheeks. Like him, they were lonely, doomed to spend their fleeting existences apart from anyone else before they dried out and evaporated into the air. The sound of Subaru's sniffling rose Rem's attention from the plate in front of her to the boy who was sitting in front of him, and Emilia and Rem both spoke in unison –
""… Subaru? What's wrong?""
Okay, that's kinda cute, Naoko thought, lightening her heart a bit.
But neither of them would receive an answer to their questions, as Subaru wordlessly rose from his table and ran from the hall, leaving an atmosphere of confusion and concern in his wake.
Once Subaru had returned to his room, and closed the door behind him, he allowed the tears to flow freely. His body was wracked by his lonesome sobbing as the emotions that he had bottled up through all of his deaths were released at once, and with his back against the door, he slid down and brought his knees to his face.
He cried, cried, cried his lungs out, and every time he was sure that he would have run out of tears, yet more were summoned seemingly out of the air for him to shed. He wept for the memories that the others had lost, the lives in his past loops that he had failed to protect, and for the promises he had failed to keep. He wept as the weight of what he had to carry on his shoulders was seemingly too heavy for him to bear, and because he knew that he would undoubtedly need to experience this all again a countless number of times more.
As the on-screen Subaru cried, many people in the audience came to a realization.
In the beginning of the viewing, when they learned of Subaru's terrible secret, they were horrified. How could someone who had suffered what he had, and still smile the way he did?
But now, seeing Subaru break down and at his lowest, they realized that this… power had clearly taken a toll on him. It was a burden far too great for him to bear.
So, instead they vowed that Subaru would no longer be the only one to hold that burden.
But now, Subaru cried because he was scared. He was scared of this unfamiliar world, for which he was ripped from his old one and placed inside of.
The thought of Subaru's old world brought a crippling pain to his chest. Like it or not, he was homesick. He missed his parents. He didn't care much for the rest of the world, being the shut-in that he was, but he could barely handle the fact that he'd never be able to explain to his parents why he had left them so suddenly. He cried for them, knowing that they were probably searching for him right now.
From the drawer in his room, he withdrew a single leather wallet that he had placed inside, the one that he had in his pocket when he was teleported to this world. He opened it, and gazed upon the single picture that he kept within its transparent sleeve. A picture of himself and his parents, standing on a skyscraper in Tokyo where they overlooked the whole city. He slowly withdrew it, holding it lovingly in his hands.
He couldn't bear to look at it for more than a few seconds before he was overloaded with emotion, dropping the picture onto the table on the drawer. Throwing himself onto his bed, he let the tears consume him once more until he had cried himself out of all the energy he had and was forced to allow slumber to claim him once more.
Eight hours later, a silver-haired girl gently rapped her knuckles against Subaru's door.
"Subaru? Subaru, are you in there?" Emilia asked. She had been left confused and worried by the boy's sudden exit earlier, just like all of the other residents in the mansion. Even Ram appeared to be slightly concerned for him, which was incredibly out of character for someone normally as closed as herself.
With no response coming from the other side of the door, Emilia resolved herself to figure out what was hurting him so much and do the best she could to solve it. "Okay, Subaru, I'm coming in…"
Slowly opening the door, Emilia was saddened to see the sight in front of her. With the curtains in his room having been pulled shut, the only light coming in was that which crept in from the hallway, illuminating the darkness in his room. She could see Subaru face-down in his bed, asleep, his sheets laying wettened below him from the countless tears he had shed. On his face was a look of suffering and pain that she had never seen before.
Never seen before – yes, but that didn't mean she was unfamiliar with it. She was very familiar with it, in fact. It reminded her of the nights she would spend, alone in Elior Forest, with no-one except the lesser spirits and her tears around to comfort her.
Emilia's eyes dragged across the sorry state of Subaru's room, and came to rest on the unfamiliar items that were laid across Subaru's drawer. She didn't mean to snoop, but she wanted to help, and she thought that the best way she could do that was to try to understand his pain.
Subaru has clearly been looking at whatever these things are… maybe if I do, too, I could try to understand what's wrong with him. Careful not to wake him, Emilia glided along the floor, her feet making next to no noise as she moved over to the drawer. She could recognise one of the items as being made out of some kind of leather, but she had never seen an item quite designed like this before. Carefully picking it up and inspecting it, she came to realize that it was some kind of pouch for coins, although the style was wholly unfamiliar.
I… I understand what this is for, I think, but I've never seen anything crafted like this before. I know that Subaru said he's from a different country, but what kind of country makes coin pouches in this style?
Oh, Subaru realized. I guess she'll find out about Japan.
As Subaru thought that to himself, the rest of the Cast watched in curiosity. Aside from Subaru's bizarre perfect timing and unknown information-gathering, which was now revealed to be Return by Death, the other greatest mystery about him was where he truly came from.
Fidgeting with the 'coin pouch' in her hands, she withdrew a handful of coins from it carefully. In particular, she found a strangely notched coin, which she rolled around in her hands, allowing her fingers to glide across the edges of the coin. I've never seen any coins like this before…and the language on them isn't something that I recognise, either. That's odd… I should definitely be able to at least figure out where these are from.
In her preparation for the Royal Selection, Emilia had taken the time to learn about the other countries of the world. Of course, that included the basics such as what currencies they used, and the simpler sides of their languages. The fact that Subaru somehow had coins from a country she'd never heard of, and bearing a language that she'd never seen before, worried her greatly.
Returning the coins to the 'pouch', and placing it back down onto the table, Emilia then moved her attention to the final confusing item on his table. It appeared to be a thin sheet of paper, but what it contained was something unlike what she had ever seen before. It was… colorful, and vibrant, and almost seemed like it was a portal to another world. She could sense, however, that no life was held within it, and so she came to conclude that it must be an incredibly accurate drawing.
The 'drawing' was of someone who she could unmistakably identify as Subaru, wearing some smart clothes with two adults next to him. She guessed, from the way that they lovingly had their arms around Subaru, that they were his parents. But the thing that most confused her, was that –
Both Kenichi and Naoko winced at seeing that photograph. They remembered when that photo was taken, before their son was happier, before falling into a depression. But now, after realizing how much suffering their little boy went through, it looked like that photo was mocking them.
Why are they so high up in the air, in this drawing? I don't know of any places in the whole realm where you could go so far up…and then behind them, I see such a dazzling array of lights and buildings. Is that a town? But if there was somewhere in this realm which glowed like that, I would undoubtedly have heard of it…
She heard something stirring behind her, and she yelped, dropping the drawing that was in her hand back onto the drawer. Emilia turned, only to find Subaru sitting on his bed, looking at her groggily, with dried tears staining his face.
"Emilia-tan…what are you doing in my room? I… didn't want you to see me like this."
"…I'm sorry Subaru, but I can't let you stay like this. I shouldn't have let you go back to your room alone in the first place, or…" Emilia focused her thoughts. She needed to ask him an important question. "Subaru, where are you really from?"
Subaru blinked twice at the question that Emilia had posed to him. Her amethyst eyes bore into his own, and he realized that she had figured out something was up. The white lie of 'another country' wouldn't work this time.
"Um, Emilia-tan… why are you asking me this?"
Wordlessly, Emilia stepped aside from where she was, and gestured towards the items that Subaru had left on his desk.
"O-oh, I see… wait, you were looking at my things? Just how long have you been in my room?"
Emilia went red at Subaru's implication. "I-I-I've only been in here for a couple minutes, Subaru, stop making it seem like I've been doing bad things!"
"Hah, you're adorable when you're embarrassed, Emilia-tan."
Emilia's cheeks remained flushed as she was teased by Subaru, but she pressed on. "Subaru, answer my question, please."
"Well, if you've seen the photograph, I suppose there's no avoiding it."
"Ph-photyograph?" Emilia was puzzled at the sound of yet another word she didn't understand.
"I'll explain it all to you later. Well, as you've probably guessed, Emilia, I'm not from around here."
"I knew that, but –"
"Let me finish, please." Emilia's haughty response to Subaru was cut off, and he continued. "When I say I'm not from around here, I don't mean this country. I mean… I'm not from this world, Emilia."
"WAIT, WHAT?!"
Everyone turned towards Subaru and his family when they heard what he said. "Yes, it's true. We come from a world different from your own. Maybe if you all sit down, the other me will explain it to Emilia-tan, and you'll know a bit more about it."
The Cast paused for a second, before deciding that this was the best course of action to just keep watching.
Emilia couldn't understand what Subaru was saying. "Subaru, how can that be possible-"
"What do you mean, how can it be possible?! Is it that much of a leap, after learning that I have the power to literally rewind time if I die, that I might also not be from this world?!"
"…"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry at you like that…"
"No, it's okay, Subaru…I understand how stressful this all must be for you. So, you aren't from any of the countries in this world, you mean?"
"Yeah, I'm not. I came from a country called Japan. In my world, there were hundreds of countries, and billions of people…"
"Billions?" Emilia was shocked to hear that so many people could live in one world. After all, even the whole Kingdom of Lugnica only had around five million people in it –
"Yeah, billions. It was a lot different to this world… the main difference being, there wasn't any magic where I came from. In fact, a lot of what this world has were just considered to be myths and fairy tales in my world. In my world, there aren't any humanoid races other than humans themselves, and there were no monsters either." Emilia was rendered speechless by the description of his world.
One thing stuck out to Emilia the most out of what Subaru had said, however.
"Only humans? So, elves…"
Subaru completed her sentence. "…didn't exist, yeah."
"Subaru, if you don't mind me asking, how did you arrive in our world?" Julius couldn't help but wonder how Subaru came to their world if he was from another world entirely.
Now the other couldn't help but wonder. Does Subaru's world have something that would allow them to come to their world?
"That's a good question Julius, and one I'm not completely sure about myself." Subaru gave an honest answer. While he was pretty sure WHO summoned him, Subaru still didn't know about the HOW.
"What do you mean, Subaru?" Emilia was also curious, wondering what could've led her to meet Subaru.
"Well, basically I was off to get some groceries from a mini-market at night, and as I was leaving, I just felt… off. Like I was having a headache and dizziness at the same time. I closed my eyes, and then next thing I know, I'm in the middle of the Capital in broad daylight," Subaru explained, purposely leaving out who most likely summoned him.
"So, it just… happened outta nowhere?" Anastasia asked for clarification.
"Pretty much."
For the more perceptive members of the Cast, they began to wonder if someone from their world was responsible for bringing Subaru here. If so, for what purpose and why him?
"Was there much conflict in your world, Subaru?"
"Not anymore, really, no. It was mostly peaceful, except for some smaller wars in some poorer countries. Many of the countries of the world had developed such powerful weapons that they could wipe each other out thousands of times over in an instant, and so that was the reason that war had stopped. It wasn't due to our humans being nicer to each other, if that's what you were wondering."
"WHAT," various people in the audience deadpanned.
"Yeah, in my world, the technological difference between us would be monstrous," Subaru softly chuckled. "I wouldn't be surprised if someone saw you guys as backwards savages."
"Subaru!" Naoko chided her son. "These are your friends!"
"Right, sorry."
"No, I understand. But tell me, Subaru… were the people in your country accepting of those who were unfamiliar to them?" Emilia timidly asked Subaru a question that he knew had deeper meaning to it.
"Emilia…do the people of this world not accept you for who you are?"
"Subaru… I'm a half-elf. In this world, half-elves are already looked down upon, but for me… I have a resemblance to the one you might know as Satella, and so most people won't even talk to me, let alone be my friend." Emilia made reference to friends as if she knew what one was, but she knew that deep down, she didn't quite understand it yet. She hoped, however, that what she said would make sense to him.
Satella. Subaru remembered the first time he had come to this world, and how Emilia had told him that her actual name was Satella. So that's why she lied about it, huh. She wanted to see if I would still accompany her, despite all the alarm bells that were supposed to be ringing.
"Wait, Subaru, what does your other self mean by that?" the half-elf asked.
"Oh, in my VERY first life, you called yourself Satella," the black-hiared boy explained, receiving a flinch from the half-elf. "I learned pretty quickly that it was an alias. So, my personal mission was to save you from Elsa and learn your name. That's why I asked you for your name as a reward."
"Oh, yeah, I remember that," Felt chuckled. "It was a really weird thing for you to ask her, but now that I have the context… it makes a wee bit more sense, that's for sure."
"I… lied to you?" Emilia always hated when people lied to her, and now she finds out she did the exact same thing to Subaru. Then, she thought of the implications of what her lie could've done to Subaru. "Please tell me you weren't hurt because of…?" Emilia couldn't even finish her sentence.
"Don't worry, I didn't get killed because of the name. I got chewed out by you and the people nearby, but no one got hurt… until I ran into some thugs and got stabbed," Subaru explained, attempting to put Emilia at ease, but it was difficult to tell if it was working.
Subaru decided that it wouldn't do well to dwell on what his world was like. He was here now, and that was all that mattered.
"Emilia, I accept you for who you are."
"Eh!? But, Subaru, that's not what I asked –"
"It doesn't matter what my old world was like, because I'm here now. As far as I know… I won't ever get to go back. It feels like whatever brought me to this world was a one-way ticket."
Subaru realized, as he finished his sentence, that Emilia had been standing for an uncomfortable amount of time. Wordlessly, he tapped the bed next to him, motioning for Emilia to sit next to him, and she did so.
They sat together for a while in silence, alone with their thoughts.
"Subaru, why did you run from me today?"
He had expected this question from her. He thought that he had mentally prepared himself for it, but at the reminder of what had happened, he felt himself slipping back to the horrid state that he was in before.
"I-I-I couldn't handle knowing that you didn't remember anything that I had told you, and that all those memories I had with you from previous lives had vanished. I'm sorry that I ran… I'm such a coward…!" Tears started to flow down Subaru's face again as the grief that he had experienced earlier that day came back to his body in full force.
"Subaru, no," Emilia said, assertively. "You're not a coward."
"Emilia-tan, I –"
"NO. You could be the furthest thing away from a coward. You took on assassins, Mabeasts, both the White Whale and the Great Rabbit, and even you faced death and came out on top. Please, give yourself a little of the confidence you've given the rest of us."
The black-haired knight was quiet for a moment, before saying, "I'll do my best."
Before he could cry any more, however, he felt his body being dragged down onto its side, and he realized that his head had come to rest on a soft, pillowy substance. What…is this?
He looked up, only to have Emilia push his face back down with one of her fingers. "No looking… in fact, close your eyes."
He did as she requested, realizing that he had his head in her lap, and eager not to let this slip away. Hahhh… if having a breakdown can get me this treatment from her, I might need to start losing it more often…
"Heh," Subaru chuckled, before seeing everyone looking at him. "Sorry, dark humor."
"I get the feeling that your self-esteem might need some help, too," Julius said.
"Geez, JULIUS, I wonder why?!"
"I know that I can't do much for you, even though I wish that I could…but if I can at least do this, then I want to make sure that I can. If all I can do is lend you my lap when you're in pain, then I want to do it as often as I can, to make sure that you're okay… so please, don't push yourself too hard, Subaru. It's been rough, hasn't it?"
As Emilia whispered the final sentence into his ear, Subaru felt as if a lock had been removed on his soul, and the waterworks recommenced in full force. Emilia smiled weakly as she felt her lap start to dampen with Subaru's salty tears, happy that he could at least empty himself of all the negative feelings he had experienced.
"It's been…so rough… I tried so hard…I wanted to help everyone… I never even got to say goodbye to my parents…"
As they watched Subaru's breakdown, the Cast realized something. For all the smiles and goofiness that Subaru had, that was all just a mask he wore to hide all of the pain.
In the beginning, several people questioned how Subaru was able to smile, despite going through something this horrible. Was he insane? Was he a monster?
No, he was human.
He was a normal human being with a kind heart that was thrown into an unknown world. He wore that mask as he helped people, never letting them see what he perceived as a weakness.
Various people from the different Camps started tearing up at what Subaru said. How would they have coped if their parents, siblings, or children were suddenly taken away from them?
Everyone was silent for this sad moment, with no one noticing the silent tears coming from the Natsuki parents, mostly due to everyone also tearing up.
Subaru sobbed into Emilia's lap, as grief wracked his body once more. She cooed soothing lullabies into his ear, knowing that it was all she could do. If she could at least do something for him, in return for what he had done for her, however, he would be happy.
Subaru paused his sobbing, as he needed to ask a question that had been at the back of his mind all day. "Emilia, why were you mad at me this morning?"
"… I wasn't mad at you, Subaru… okay, I guess I was a little. I just want you to learn to respect yourself a little more, that's all. Even though you did so much for all of us, you called yourself lazy, and worst of all, you shrugged off the fact that you were unconscious for three days. You got hurt so badly, and I don't want you to do that again…what if it's worse next time?"
"Sounds like you're scared that I might be going somewhere, Emilia-tan, is that it?"
"… Subaru, if you're expecting me to get flustered and deny it, that isn't going to happen. Yes, I am scared of that."
Subaru was surprised at how open Emilia was being with him. He decided that the only way he could repay her openness was with his own, and so he told her simply-
"I won't be going anywhere, Emilia-tan. You're my friend, after all."
Friend… that word again. I suppose it's right, isn't it?
He still… wanted to be my friend? Even after Emilia found out she lied to Subaru, something she absolutely despises, he was still willing to be her friend and support her. Even after Subaru mentioned her lie got him in trouble, he didn't hold anything against her.
I truly don't deserve you, my wonderful knight, Emilia thought to herself. Subaru's ability to forgive and forget was truly his greatest quality.
"Alright, Subaru." Emilia knew that what she was about to say next wasn't strictly relevant to what they had been discussing, but she wanted to say it anyway. "You're my friend, too."
Subaru smiled as he heard what she said, and he returned to enjoying the comfort of her lap. He would take advantage of this moment for as long as he possibly could.
"… Subaru."
"Yes, Emilia-tan?"
"At some point… do you want to talk about your past lives? If you think it would help –"
"Actually, Emilia… I think I'm fine now. I just needed some time to get over them, that's all."
Emilia accepted his decision. If he didn't want to talk about them, she was in no position to try to force him to. "…okay, I understand. And, Subaru? I don't know what a 'dayte' is, but… I'd be happy to go on one with you!"
Subaru smiled once more.
"You really are an angel, Emilia-tan."
As the screen went black, Subaru stood up, and walked towards the front of the Theater, in front of everyone. "Okay, anyone who has questions, please raise your hands."
Immediately, over twenty hands shot up.
Author's Note: Banger start, huh?
The original story is called "Subaru's Burden" by diamondsabound on . The link is s/13683753/1/Subaru-s-Burden, and I highly recommend checking it out. Now, onto the comments with you!
Come to Jesus: Glad you find my hard work "okay".
RandomGuest: Is that an Eric Cartman reference? Or a Markiplier one?
Guest #1: It would be interesting to have a sequel to "The Otherworldly Sage", but i'm afraid that it's going to have to wait. Though, I honestly have no idea what to say to the rest of your comment. Was it the beginning of a thesis?
Guest #2: Uh, I was actually thinking combat-wise. Like, not even the Divine Protection of the Sword Saint was able to take on Pandora's Authority. And I'm more in the business of correcting spelling errors over continuity ones, sorry.
Guest #3: Welp, there you go! Some development!
The Wanderer: Yes, it has begun…
Metal: I wasn't thinking "mad", it was more on the lines that Subaru was desperate to make sure that his secret was not revealed. He knew that once it was chosen, it was pretty much game over, so he shut himself down. I'm glad you see some potational in this, despite the bumpy start. I'll try not to disappoint…
iChr0me: Yeah, the tags were kind of an inside joke for me. I'm also glad you noticed the reference! But trust me, those tags are gonna become inaccurate sooooo quickly!
5queso: Yeah, the first chapter for each story begins the same. The idea is that the timeline between the two branched off because of Felix.
The Darkness Writhes: I'm glad you loved both this and "The Otherworldly Sage"! And yes, everyone is going on the Trauma Trolley for this one. Toot-too!
FishEyes101: I'm glad you're interested, man of over a hundred fish eyes.
ThatRabidPotato: I have already done a straight-forward reaction before. Though, I promise I am going to complete this, that's a guarantee! Hope you like it, though.
orianabarreto18: Yeah, Subaru is going to S-U-F-F-E-R.
hussainamm: Well, Subaru does call out everyone in this timeline about killing him in this timeline in, well, this chapter, but I don't think that was your actual question, is it?
TheOneWhoSimulatesFanatsy: I'm glad you like this one, oh dark one.
Tatertoters: Ah, yes. Kicking your legs in excitement is the pinnacle of knowing how good your story is for the writer. Glad to see that you're excited.
ASKL: Glad you love my twist, and here's your update!
TiredExistence: Subaru, as already shown, has begun to explain what really happened in the original timelines, while also trying his best to hide the rest of his secrets.
HaydosMivill: Yeah, I know my twist is unique. And yeah, I'm glad you're interested.
King_maximilian_412: This was indeed the first chapter, here's the second one.
DrifetersourSavior: I'm not gonna die off! You can keep your hope in your pants because I'm gonna make sure this series will be completed, and no one's gonna stop me!
halt_and_catch_fire: There, see?! I have multiple completed stories under my belt, including another reaction! So just sit back, and enjoy the show!
doggo_in_space (Astronomer_Dude): Yes, I'm back with a new story! Whoo!
SenSlice: Here's more! And there will be even more! All you have to do… is wait.
A special thanks to Infinite the Celestain for helping me in making this story, and for being an all-around great guy! Thanks for reading, and we'll see you all next time!
- Ernalore
Next time:
What if Subaru was summoned to Elior Forest?
OR
What if Subaru never called for help in the alleyway?
