AN
Many thanks to the reviewers from all the chapters; please guys if you're reading this just tell me what you think; good or bad. Also thanks again to my Beta; who despairs over my terrible grammar and punctuation.
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own HP or any of the characters and places you may recognise.
Chapter 6
The Ghosts That Haunt Us
Things were, for once, rather uneventful. Paige had had nearly an entire week without being hexed by Sirius, having to listen to shouts from Harry or hearing lectures from Mrs Weasley. Of course it was probably the calm before the storm. Sirius had taken to cold civility with her ever since Harry had said some things to his godfather about his apparent treatment of her. It had been nice of Harry to jump to her defence, and it had shown her that he was clearly a better person than Sirius. Upon finding out she was a Slytherin Harry had neither ignored her nor looked disgusted as she had expected. He had been a little wary, but after a while began to treat her just as he had before.
To say Paige was comfortable with the situation was a lie. However much she may not want to admit it she had spent so long living the life of a Slytherin, trying to adjust in a household predominantly made up of Gryffindors was hard. There were things that were too ingrained for Paige to be able to change, and things that she would never want to. Although she knew on most accounts it was unintentional, she always get the feeling that she was meant to feel ashamed of being a Slytherin. And she wasn't. She had done what she had to at school, she had looked out for herself, and yes, it may have been cowardly, but at the time it had seemed to be the only option. Paige didn't want to have to regret that as well.
It had all been so confusing at the beginning, and the lull in the general chaos that was life at Grimmauld Place had given her some time to be reflective. Snape had yet to return from whatever top secret mission he was on, so she was saved from having to relive everything. Still she could not stop her mind dwelling on the past whatever she did. She was not however the only one who was haunted by their own personal ghosts. With Harry's presence Sirius was more cheerful in many ways, but when Harry was not directly conversing with Sirius, Paige saw the look in his eyes. Harry was a sharp reminder of exactly what it was that Sirius had lost.
Paige did not know what it was like to have a best friend. It was probably a good thing, because if the pain in Sirius's eyes was anything to go by then she would not want to have to go through the pain of losing them. Her thoughts had returned to family as they so often did and she often found herself wondering just how the Callaghan household was going. Her nephew would be going to Hogwarts this year; she had no doubt he was just another faceless Slytherin in the making. Maybe though, he would be like her maybe he would realise in the future that the easiest route wasn't always the right one. Then again maybe not – after all he was a Callaghan.
Paige knew that Harry's hearing was this morning and she had dressed appropriately. Muggle clothes which Hermione had found for her were rather odd, but with Harry with them, the only way to get to the ministry was via Muggle London. To Paige's surprise, Sirius had put up little argument on her going with them to the ministry. Moody had said it was not such a bad idea to have someone other than Arthur walk with the boy, and as Paige had pointed out, she had a couple of uncles who worked in the ministry, so she had a valid reason to be there if needed. No one, it seemed, had brought up any concerns to Paige's safety, but as Paige had reasoned there wasn't really that many. It wasn't as if Death Eaters frequented the ministry that often, and if they did they did not yet know of her defection from what they believed to be the right side.
Paige had been sitting in the kitchen since just after five that morning: her sleep interrupted by dreams she seemed unable to dislodge. She was sat once more at the kitchen table, Prophet in her hands and a cup of coffee by her side. She had read the Prophet religiously for the past few weeks, just so she could scoff at how ridiculous it all was. If you looked closely, however, there were mentions, if brief, of strange goings on – things that, if you weren't looking for them you would have completely ignored. Paige's naturally paranoid mind had picked up on them – especially since she was paying careful attention. Of course the ministry would never accredit what they reported to anything even remotely out of the ordinary. They were sticking to their 'close your eyes and hope it isn't happening' tactic.
She looked up as Harry, still bleary eyed from sleep made his way down. It was half past five and Paige was not the only one already up. Harry looked more than a little surprised to see herself, Mr and Mrs Weasley, and with Sirius, Lupin and Tonks all awake. She merely watched as the boy tried to force his breakfast down.
"I wouldn't even bother if I were you," she told him, folding up her paper and standing up. Mrs Weasley gave her a disapproving glare to which Paige merely rolled her eyes. The only people who were ever in Molly Weasley's bad books more than Paige were Sirius and Mundungus Fletcher.
"We should be going." Mr Weasley said standing up. Harry followed quickly, dropping his toast and jumping to his feet. Everyone wished Harry luck and all three trudged past Mrs Black's portrait and out of the door.
Paige followed uncomfortably behind Mr Weasley and Harry, feeling decidedly out of place. She disliked muggle clothing, it made her feel very odd and out of place. The shirt and jeans Hermione had found were comfortable, but Paige had looked in the mirror after putting them on and hadn't recognised herself. She already knew when she got to the ministry she would need to transfigure them to robes, otherwise any pretence of her still being of the same opinions she had been several years ago would go out the window. And if, like she planned, she went to visit her Uncle she would need all the deception she could get. As they boarded the underground train Paige's discomfort only increased. She didn't like crowds and the train packed full of muggle commuters was even worse. She was way out of her depth. Harry it seemed had noticed her unease as he tried to give her a reassuring smile. It would have probably worked better had the young man not worn the face of someone condemned to death.
As they walked through London Paige tried to ease back into her old façade. She would need to cold and aloof Slytherin; the one who believed even her own family were beneath her. As they reached a rectangular red box Paige had no idea of the function of Mr Weasley ushered them inside. It was an extremely tight squeeze Paige's back was pressed against one side; although Harry seemed to have it worst off pressed against some type of appliance that Mr Weasley was fiddling with. He pressed some buttons with numbers on and then picked up part of it and spoke to it. Paige was more than a little confused but she assumed as Mr Weasley worked here he knew what he was doing.
"Paige," Mr Weasley hissed passing her the appliance.
"Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and business." Paige was momentarily nonplussed as to where the mystery voice had come from but she had seen Mr Weasley talk into the thing that the voice had spoken from so she did the same.
"Paige Callaghan. Just Visiting," she told the appliance unsure what else to say. The voice then told her to take her badge and pin it to her robes. Paige looked around for what the voice was talking about but stopped as Harry passed a small badge with Paige Callaghan, Visitor emblazoned on the front. The voice then spoke again asking the visitors to the ministry to be ready to submit their wands for registration with security. Paige shrugged but didn't attach her badge yet; instead she pulled out her wand and whispered the words to transfigure her clothes. Feeling instantly more comfortable in a deep set of viridian green robes the same colour as the shirt she had been wearing, she pinned her badge to the front and kept hold of her wand. As the box shuddered Paige's elbow collided with the side and with a muttered curse she tried to shift into a more comfortable position. Harry smiled at her predicament.
"At least someone is finding this funny," she muttered under her breath as the box sank beneath the pavement.
The voice wished them a pleasant day as the box came to a stop and the door sprang open. The ministry was bustling with wizards and witches none of whom even gave them a glance. Surprisingly considering Paige had two family members who worked here and all the commotion that the Callaghan family presented for the ministry itself, she had never been here before. Paige looked in disgust at the fountain at the end of the room. It was clearly gold and worth more money than the entire Callaghan fortune. She had no doubt that had her rather unintelligent but nonetheless ambitious brother known if its presence he would already be concocting plans to try and steal it out from under the ministry's nose.
Paige followed Harry and Mr Weasley as they joined the queue of witches and wizards winding through the hall. As they passed the fountain Paige's eyes caught the sickles and knuts at the bottom – yes that would definitely have Damien trying to grab it. Damien had actually been Paige's favourite sibling as a child – being one out of five meant she was perfectly entitled to have favourites. Damien was a Callaghan through and through, when it came down to it, he was a petty crook and he always had been. At Hogwarts he had been infamous for being a conman and the most untrustworthy boy ever to pass through the school's doors. Still, Paige knew, despite his reputation, the cunning attributed to him was entirely fictional. That was why Paige had liked Damien. He had been easy to understand, his motives were never complex, and he had been one of the few Callaghans with whom Paige could actually hold a conversation. Granted the boy wasn't bright – he had been in and out of Azkaban ever since leaving school. At the moment he was serving a two year sentence for activities involving some highly dangerous and certainly illegal magical creatures.
Paige stood behind Harry as they approached the security desk. She was not openly showing she was with them, as earlier agreed, although she wasn't really important enough to be noticed anyway. Most people's attention was fixed on Harry. Paige watched Harry and Arthur depart with a nod to Arthur and a whisper that she would catch up with them later.
"Wand." The man at the desk said in a bored tone. She passed over her dark wood wand and waited impatiently as he put it on a set of scales.
"Eight and a half inches. Dragon Heartstring. Been in use nineteen years." he said still bored.
"Yes." She replied. He put the paper on the spike passed her the wand and she walked off.
Paige followed the crowd and joined a group of them behind the grills. She was unsure as to exactly which floor she needed to be on. She knew that Uncle Sebastian worked in the department of magical accidents and catastrophes. It wasn't anything major though – he was some office worker for the magic reversal squad. Uncle Gabriel on the other hand, he was the one she wanted to see, he was on her mother's side of the family. Not a Callaghan at all. She was pretty sure he worked in the auror office. The Callaghans never spoke of him. Her mother had been forbidden from mentioning him inside the Callaghan household. As far as they were concerned he did not even exist.
Paige had taken the first step away from everything her family believed in when she contacted Gabriel. She had never mentioned to Tonks, or Moody that she already had close ties with someone in the auror office. Both she and Gabriel knew it was dangerous for them to acknowledge each other. If Paige wanted to keep herself and him safe she couldn't let it be known that she and Gabriel were related. They did not look alike, for Paige had inherited most of the Callaghan genes, and even her mother looked little like her brother. Gabriel was blonde for one thing and had blue eyes neither of which Paige had inherited.
She knew it was a risk, and it would be much safer to go and see Uncle Sebastian, who was as corrupt as they came. She knew that with people like him working for the ministry there would be many more capable of being bribed, blackmailed and scared into doing things. Paige had been unused to spending so much time with the sorts of people in Grimmauld place as she was so used to people like the Callaghans, the pureblood families like the Notts, or to the sorts of people who frequented Knockturn Alley and sold things with dubious origins and suspicious bloodstains. She was used to spending time with people like herself. Meeting Uncle Gabriel had been a shock. He was not a Callaghan and it showed. He had devoted his life to fight against people like the Callaghans, people like she used to be.
As she got out on the second floor she looked around carefully. The place was not what she had been expecting. It looked nothing resembling of the splendour of the entrance hall. Then again she supposed the ministry budget for this floor did not go on decorating. Paige knew that she needed to look like she was meant to be here, so, hiding her badge in the folds of her robes she walked through the rows of cubicles with purpose picking up a stack of paper from the floor as she passed. She surreptitiously looked into the cubicles for any sign of her uncle's blonde hair. The cubicles were all filled with newspaper articles and photographs, and Paige needn't have worried as many of them were empty.
She got towards the end of the corridor still without any sign of her uncle. That was until she bumped straight into someone, her stolen papers falling on the floor.
"Oh I'm so sorry," she said, taking the guise of bumbling office assistant, "I wasn't looking where…" As she lifted her head she caught sight of very familiar careworn blue eyes. Like many of the other aurors Gabriel had scars from his profession – a paper thin one cut across his left eyebrow. His right hand was missing two fingers.
"Paige what are you doing here?" He hissed as he helped her pick up the papers.
"Just came for a visit. Not happy to see me?" She asked knowing she was playing a dangerous game. To say Gabriel had been happy to hear from her those years ago would have been a lie. He grudgingly accepted her correspondence, but hardly with open arms. Just as the Callaghans refused to acknowledge him so he refused to accept that he was in any way even slightly related to them.
"You shouldn't be here," he told her.
"Why not? I'm not doing anything wrong," she replied. She sighed as Gabriel grabbed her arm and dragged her into a room quickly shutting the door. She looked around before raising her eyebrow at Gabriel.
"A closet?" She asked.
"No one can see you talking to me," he told her, almost angrily.
"A touch of the paranoia creeping in, in your old age?" She asked.
"Paige this is no time for jokes. What do you want?"
"Can't I just visit my favourite uncle?" She asked faux sweetly.
"No. I know you Paige. You don't do anything without an underlying motive," he said.
"Everyone's so quick to judge," she muttered, "fine. I have a couple of questions."
"And why on earth should I answer them?" he asked her.
"If you don't want everyone here to know you're related to me then you'd better," she replied. She felt a bit guilty at blackmailing him like that, but it was only a couple of questions and the answers would be going to a good cause.
"Fine," He said through gritted teeth "If I wasn't your uncle I'd…"
"What Gabriel… Curse me? Hex me? We both know you won't do that," Paige said. She hated the sneer in her voice but it was almost natural. Gabriel was a good man and he didn't deserve this; but what else could she do? She wanted to look into her suspicions, to see how the ministry was looking at things.
"Fine." He said again "Ask."
"Okay. Is Fudge truly ignorant to the threat from the Dark Lord?" She asked.
"He doesn't believe Dumbledore or Harry Potter if that's what you mean," he told her.
"So is he doing anything about it?" Paige asked. She saw Gabriel hesitate and knew he was worried about what Paige was going to do with the information.
"Gabriel." She said her voice uncharacteristically sincere "I'm not going to use what you tell me against you. Or for anything bad. It will never get back to anyone who would use it for evil."
"How can I trust you? You're one of them. You're just a step away from the people I'm charged with bringing in."
Paige winced at his accusations. Several months ago he would have been exactly right, she was the sort of person he brought in; she had been the sort of person he fought against.
"Not any more." She told him.
Gabriel still looked untrusting.
"No I can't do this," he said angrily, "I don't care what you tell them. I'm a good man Paige, and I won't let you and your damn family drag me down with them. Say what you want, I may be associated with you by blood, but we aren't family. We never will be." He turned ready to open the door "You won't get anything from me. I'll never help you Paige Callaghan. Never." He said and walked out.
"Gabriel wait." But he was already gone.
Gabriel had been her mother's younger brother and had been only a very young child when she had married Paige's father. This meant he felt little loyalty to his sister or any pity for the man and the family she had married into. Callaghan ruling stated that no member of the Callaghan family was to contact any family members who were 'disapproved' of. Gabriel had fallen into that category when he had become an auror – you could join the ministry as long as you reported back to the Callaghans and didn't do anything which could be seen as against the 'right side'.
It hurt that there was one member of her family she could be proud of, and he was the one member who wanted nothing to do with her. She understood his reasons; he had built a life away from everything that the Callaghans stood for; she had no right to come to him and ask him for anything. Her mother had not been there for Gabriel she renounced Gabriel's whole family because she had loved Paige's father. Paige wondered if she would ever love someone that much. She certainly could not understand how her mother loved her father like that. Then again Damien had once mentioned that he didn't think love was something you could understand without experiencing it. Paige knew that because of who she had been, and who her family were she didn't deserve to have people like Gabriel in her life. For all Sirius's anger and cruel words he still put up with her, and Gabriel was right – she didn't deserve it, she had no right to force herself into his life just as she had no right to force herself amongst the Order. She had not proven to them that she was of any use of any help, not just some freeloader incapable of being truly evil.
However Gabriel proving that he was the good man she had always believed did provide somewhat of an obstacle. She needed to know who had the capability of pulling the strings; who was who in the ministry. She knew now what she had known all along that she would have to return to the Callaghans in the end. That it would be the corrupt and scheming Uncle Sebastian who provided her with what she needed not good and noble Gabriel. Paige knew she had gone to Gabriel to begin with in the hope that perhaps he would see a change in her; that as a good man maybe he would recognise that she was no longer what she had been. Looking back it had been stupid; a tiger didn't change its stripes. Paige could fight for whatever cause she wanted but she would still be Paige Callaghan. She wasn't going to find redemption just for finally seeing what was right before her eyes. For finally seeing what she had so dutifully closed her eyes to for so many years.
So she walked back out of the room and aurors offices leaving her pile of papers where she found them and proceeded upwards to level three in search of Uncle Sebastian. Finding him was nowhere near as difficult as finding Gabriel had been. Sebastian was sat at a desk in an office with a sign saying accidental magic reversal on the door. Looking through the window she saw Uncle Sebastian sat at a desk a quill and some parchment lying unused by his side his head back mouth open snoring. Clearly the man had had a busy day.
She pushed open the door and it hit the opposite wall with a bang. Sebastian snorted jumped up and knocked his coffee cup onto the floor spilling it all over the dark blue carpet.
"What...I wasn't sleeping…I was just..." He said all in rush before he finally looked up and noticed who it was who had disturbed him. As he did so his face turned into a smirk. Paige knew the smirk very well and it had never boded well.
"Paige." He said his voice had the sickeningly sweet quality that you could tell was fake. Then again everything about Sebastian was fake; he was her father's older brother; and it showed. Thinning grey hair and dark but devious eyes; Sebastian was short and rather plump. He had never married but had one son who was nearly a carbon copy of Sebastian himself.
"Uncle Sebastian." She replied her voice as falsely sweet as his had been.
"What can I do for you dear Paige?" he asked gesturing to the chair across from him. Paige strode across the room and took the chair, watching her uncle.
"I need a few answers Uncle." She told him.
"And what would persuade me to give you these answers?" He asked.
"You and I both know Uncle who I carry information for. I do not think they would be pleased with your lack of cooperation." Paige was depending heavily on her uncle's ignorance of the real situation. All the Callaghan's truly knew was that Paige had walked out several months ago after an argument with her father. She had then disappeared off the wizarding radar; there had been no evidence to suggest she would not turn to those she had been dealing with before. It was a risk; if her uncle had been more closely connected with the Dark Lord's minions he would know for a fact that she had disappeared from their knowledge as well and they had been looking for her for a while.
Her Uncle however clearly believed her lies; as he looked decidedly nervous.
"What do you want to know?" He asked. Paige proceeded to interrogate her uncle about the workings of the ministry. She got a lot of useless rubbish but between that there were some things that were important. That just as Gabriel had said Fudge did not believe that the Dark Lord had returned and did seem to be going out of his way to try and discredit both Dumbledore and Harry Potter. There were also rumours about people who did believe it; she had pushed for names but it seemed Tonks and her bunch were being discrete enough that the information hadn't been pushed down that far. She also learnt that Percy Weasley was now assistant to the minister. She was unsure of how to take this news. Clearly the boy was not part of the Order but she still didn't know how he fit into the scheme of things. The search for Sirius however had nearly got her to crack a smile as Sebastian had told her that he had heard a rumour that Sirius was now in Tibet. Sebastian had mentioned several people who could be connected to anything to do with the Dementors; and Paige knew she would have to keep her ears alert for anything else.
Overall Paige didn't learn much that she could not have found out from various other sources. However by pushing Sebastian she knew the Callaghans would be alert to her re-emergence back into the wizarding world. She had no doubt that the news would spread to the Death Eaters still on the look out for her. However no one it seemed would ever believe the idea that she had defected to the other side; she was safe for the moment. She left Sebastian's office and headed back so she could find the exit. She would wait for Harry and Arthur outside.
It was unfortunate that for Paige things could never simple. She was out in the hall when she caught sight of a very familiar face. A face that stopped her dead in the room of bustling wizards. That brought to the surface so many memories; so many things from the past that her mind twisted itself in knots. A face that had at one point been so much to her. She now no longer knew what to think; she owed him so much, but she knew now – he was evil. It had never been something she was willing to categorise people with before, but in this case it was undeniable. There had never been a shred of goodness in him. He had helped her for the sheer pleasure of having her admire him and owe him. She had intrigued him and he had used her. He had played off her insecurities. It had been he who had ultimately affected her choice to nearly join the Death Eaters. But in the end she supposed it had been he that had changed her mind. There was a piece of her that hated the man so much, for every part he had played in her life. Still there was another part, a part from the past which felt the same as she always had. The fear, the awe, the admiration, even the moth to flame like attraction.
She turned away sharply but not before his ice grey eyes had caught hers causing a shiver to physically shake her body. She turned away and left back into the box transfigured her clothes back to the shirt and jeans and ripped the badge off. She clutched it tightly her mind still back at his grey eyes. She walked out and saw Harry and Arthur stood waiting. She didn't say a word merely followed them as they walked off, not even asking how Harry's trial had gone.
"You look like you've seen a ghost." Harry said looking at her.
"Maybe I have." She replied her eyes still haunted her voice deathly cold.
