Chapter 7

The Black Knight and the Dangers of Dreams

She was playing chess. This in itself would not be odd, were it not for the circumstances under which she was playing. She knew the place well, she knew her opponent well and she knew the situation well, but she shouldn't be there. Her dream self, however, did not seem to agree. Her hand reached out and moved the bishop – a foolish move as it left the knight open for attack. Her opponent looked at her; his eyes as cold as calculating as ever. There was no mercy, his piece moved forward and swung towards the black knight. She watched his triumphant smirk as her knight fell, and stared at the board, at the remaining black knight. Her hand reached out and touched the knight, and there was a flash of familiar scent, a familiar feeling. Her opponent made no sound. He merely sat in his cold silence.

Paige did not understand what she was doing here. Sitting in this place once more playing chess. It had been years since she had watched him hoping he didn't see. Since she had looked around in wonder at this place, and dreamed what it would be like to live here. She had been young, naïve, and delusional. He had known of course. He had always been aware of her regard for him. That had been his original intention. He liked to have followers. Liked to have the feeling of power. Liked to rule over someone both physically and emotionally. He had been a powerful wizard; and in that respect she had not been foolish to admire him, but in all other respects she had been a fool. The man had no heart and little soul. He was evil – despite being evil with style. She had given him exactly what he wanted.

Her dream self pushed the king and watched it topple. Why had she given up? It was not over – maybe he wouldn't always beat her. This was what she had always done back then – given up at the first sign of trouble. She was a coward. His eyes stared at hers triumph briefly flickered along with a smirk, as he stood from the table. Paige found herself watching him. He was all grace and smooth movement, his long blonde hair fell behind him; perfectly straight. His robes – black and of good quality – fit him well, and his cold grey eyes showed that essence of power and of superiority that had always captivated her.

The scene changed. He was still standing there, but now directly in front of her was Sirius Black. His grey eyes were still haunted, but strong and noble. His face was all hard plains, and strong but angled features. His long black hair flowed freely behind him. He was just as she knew him, still showing signs of Azkaban, a little too thin, his mouth too slow to smile, his eyes a little lost and always sad. However as he stood in front of her, he was more real, more true than the figure to his left – a figure so prominent in her past. So vital in the shaping of who she was. The other was a familiar figure from the present, part of her life now. Those eyes she had seen spark in both anger and laughter. Those lips that when curved into a smile lighted his entire face, chased away some of the ghosts. The look of such pure intensity that Paige could almost feel his gaze burn into her.

She had no idea what either of them was doing in her dreams. She watched as the scene changed. They were no longer in the mansion where she had played chess. Now they were in a dark room. She watched as Sirius turned away from her, and wondered about the strange hollow feeling as she watched both men. A harsh almost mechanical laugh broke from the cold eyed man as he stared at her. His long blonde hair did not seem to have as much lustre, or as much shine as she remembered. His eyes looked more dull. She frowned slightly. Was this how he really was? Had she merely seen him as she idolised him, rather than how he was in reality? The dark room they were in began to echo with voices, too mixed up for Paige to decipher any of the words Sirius still did not look at her but she heard him shout and from the darkness there came manic laughter and a pained cry as a bolt of green light shot from within. Paige merely watched as Sirius fell to the floor; all life gone from his grey eyes.

She stared in horror at his body. She opened her mouth to scream as she felt the tears run down her face, but no sound came out. She couldn't comprehend the rush of emotions, she couldn't understand anything, but as she tried to move towards him, another figure blocked her path, turning his wand towards her. She heard his voice; as soft as silk, yet underneath the tone that would have previously plucked at her heartstrings she heard the harsh sound, the cold steel that she had missed before. He spoke but she didn't hear his words, only his voice. As she saw the green light, she screamed…

Paige jerked awake still screaming. Cold sweat clung to her body, and the green silk sheets were twisted and flung from the bed in chaos. She looked towards the ceiling to see the sun had barely begun to rise – it was early. Her hands were shaking and her mind was reeling from the images of her dream. Sure she had dreamed about guys before, and in her younger years many of the dreams had at some point featured the blonde haired mentor and Death Eater, but it was not that that bothered her. Instead it was the image of Sirius lying dead on the floor. She jumped from bed. Not even bothering with shoes she dashed from the room in her pyjamas. Her bare feet thudded on the cold wood floor, disturbing the silence that had wrapped itself around the corridor.

She sidestepped the door and the spot on the floor that she couldn't walk on and hurried down the flights of stairs. It was only when she reached the bottom that she realised she was unsure as to where she was actually meant to be going. Regardless she carried on walking allowing whatever it was that had made her dash of out bed to lead her. Her footsteps were now light as she walked slowly and carefully along the ground floor, careful not to disturb any sleeping portraits. Reaching a familiar door she pushed it open.

It was only when she saw the scene inside did she realise that her heart rate had been beating ridiculously fast. She felt relief sweep through her, although she was not entirely sure why. Surely she wasn't silly enough to think her dream was real. As she stared at him, head against the armrest of his chair, dark hair falling in front of his eyes book half open by his side; she knew she had been. She knew that she had been afraid that what she had seen was real. It had been utterly stupid and irrational and something against what Paige would have thought of as her personality. She had done stupid things before, but something so clearly illogical she was unused to. Sirius would have been fine; and why she had ran from her bed in nearly the middle of the night to check so was beyond her.

She turned to leave hoping she could put the dream and the event behind her.

"Don't go," Sirius mumbled. She rapidly turned looking at him wondering how she had woken him; she had not made any sound. "No I don't…" He muttered. Now she was thoroughly confused; she hadn't said anything. It was only as she drew closer that she realised Sirius's eyes were still closed; he was talking in his sleep.

"No. Leave them alone!" At his own shout he jerked awake his eyes opening and looking at Paige.

Paige could not identify the look in his eyes but as he stood up and came towards her she looked for an escape wondering if he was going to attack her. She sincerely hoped he knew that whatever had happened in his dream wasn't real. She grew even more confused as instead as she expected he neither drew his wand nor attacked. He merely reached out and gently wrapped his arms around her. Paige was rapidly growing more disconcerted yet as his arms closed around her; she couldn't help but feel safe. She felt the horror of her dreams recede, she knew that if he was in his right mind and not his sleep muddled one he would be horrified. However as she felt him hold her she could not find the strength to push him away; she found that she did not want to relinquish the so unfamiliar feeling.

However as Paige's head lay on his shoulder she smelled the faint scent that was purely Sirius. Time could have stopped for all she knew as she her senses could only fill with him. The moment however unreal was spoiled as a voice and footsteps were heard from outside in the corridor.

"Padfoot?" The voice inquired. Paige quickly pulled away and Sirius seemed to come to his senses as he looked around obviously unsure of what had just occurred.

"In here Moony," Sirius said ignoring Paige. Paige was distracted as extremely haggard Remus walked into the room. He looked as if he was just recovering from a bad bout of flu – his amber eyes were even more tired than usual and his face was paler.

"You ok Moony?" Sirius asked his voice quiet and concerned.

"Fine, I was…" Remus seemed to notice Paige was also in the room as he turned her attention to her. He looked at her and raised an eyebrow Paige looked down and realised she was still in her night clothes. Silk strap top and three quarter length bottoms were fine, but far removed from the robes or trousers they were used to.

"I'll just be going then," She muttered as she walked out. She cast a look back and caught Sirius's eyes. She really had no idea what had passed between them; but she had no doubt that neither of them would be mentioning it any time soon. However as she began to ascend the stairs she swore she heard Sirius's voice.

"Oh leave me alone Moony."

Paige trudged back upstairs cursing whatever instinct that had caused her to come here to begin with. She had never been all that good with emotions, and as if her dream hadn't been confusing enough, now she had to contend with the thought that maybe Sirius didn't hate her. If, as she thought, it had been a mistake, then Paige wondered about what Sirius had been dreaming. No doubt he had nightmares about all he had lost, about all the time he spent in Azkaban. Sometimes Paige found herself forgetting that the man had spent so long a prisoner for a crime he did not commit. He had lost so much, she had no doubt that he had much more right than she to have nightmares haunting him.

Paige knew no more sleep would come that night. Instead she grabbed a shower and dressed, before going back downstairs. She studiously avoided the library letting Sirius have his peace, and instead took her normal seat in the dining room. She had brought The Prophet with her and carefully unfolded it as she used her wand to pour the coffee. She found little of interest, it seemed that if The Prophet reporters ever found anything of interest the Ministry had enough control to stop them printing. When the writer – Rita something or another – had been The Prophet's main reporter, Paige knew there had been much more scandal, much more spin on things. Paige wasn't sure what had happened there, perhaps The Ministry had fired her.

The morning came as busy and bustling as normal with plenty of people coming and going from The Order. In fact, as this was the day before the younger members of the house returned to school, there was even more uproar.

"Have you heard?" Mrs Weasley asked rushing into the living room, where Paige and Remus were currently sat both deeply engrossed in books.

"Heard what?" Remus asked, as Paige pulled herself back into reality and the conversation.

"Ron's a prefect, oh I'm so proud. And Hermione too," she said before rushing off to tell everyone else. A minute later she popped back in "Oh we'll be having a little party later to celebrate. Anyway must be off; shopping to do."

Mrs Weasley was alien to Paige. She was the type of person that Paige had never before encountered and upon doing so found herself so far out of her depth she merely floundered trying to work out how to deal. She had a fiery yet still motherly personality, and was highly protective, responsible, and probably one of the best mothers anyone could ask for. She was a direct contrast to Paige's mother who had been shy and often timid character; who took to motherhood like a cat takes to water. Paige was unused to someone like Molly, who was domestic to a point it scared her, yet seemed to show such fierce loyalty to those she loved that Paige knew that no one would ever doubt her. Paige knew she was far from Molly Weasley's favourite person, but the woman showed courtesy and loyalty to Dumbledore, and sometimes Paige got the feeling that Molly understood more than she would ever let on.

The party was similar to normal dinner, with the general standard of good home cooking, but a huge red and gold banner hung over the table congratulating the two new prefects. Of what Paige knew of Hermione she was probably the perfect choice for a prefect. She was intelligent, moral and responsible, not to mention she had the general helping of Gryffindor pride, courage and determination. Paige found it strange at some points that it was the younger members of the household who were ready to accept her whereas many of the older members still held her in contempt. She was unsure if this was because they were older and therefore supposedly wiser so shouldn't trust her; or if their prejudices had built up over years; and were too strong to be changed.

Paige found that somehow gradually without her knowing it, she had become more comfortable with the house and its members. Remus, ever her silent reading companion, Molly Weasley the responsible and caring if a little wary mother, not to mention the younger members. Fred and George always up for a laugh, Ron possibly the best chess player she had ever met, Hermione with a higher IQ than most people she knew, and of course Harry. Harry who despite everything; his fame, his loss was still as down to earth as they came and was willing to look past her house despite everything he had been through. And now as Paige thought on there was Sirius. Sirius who had become such a big part of her life in the past few months. Sirius who despite all his words, she had more in common with than either would ever admit, Sirius who occupied far more of her thoughts than even the worthiest of adversaries should. Sirius who, despite everything, she knew she would miss should she leave. Paige knew that just as with Gabriel she had yet to prove her right to be here, but she would. She had to, but not for them; for herself.

"What about you Paige?" A voice asked from her left. Paige tried to remember exactly what the conversation had been about when she realised they were talking about being prefects. She had not been surprised to hear the Sirius had never been one; and that Remus had.

"No. As I am sure Professor Snape will tell you; I was hardly a role model figure; even for a Slytherin." She admitted. Paige had been a typical Slytherin at school; just as she had liked it. Her Callaghan background made her somewhat of a mercenary and she got into trouble more than was really necessary. In Slytherin prefects were generally those most popular those most prominent in the Slytherin house at the time.

"Did Professor Snape teach when you were at school?" Ginny asked interestedly.

"He started teaching when I was at school, and he was made head of house not long afterwards," she said.

"What was he like?" Ginny asked. She wondered if this was a deeper question than she could see as both Remus Sirius and Harry now looked interested.

"Just like any other professor I suppose. You've got to remember, my ultimate aim in school was to pass by unnoticed – not like yours. I was never really good at my studies, aside from a few specific subjects that my family didn't approve of. And I paid about as much attention to my professors as I did everything else in my life – very little," she explained. Her school days had never been her glory days, that was for certain. Then again Paige doubted she had ever had glory days, all of hers were of the rather murky type.

She looked up as Harry left the conversation going to join Moody who had just called him over. She like everyone had wondered vaguely why it had been Ron not he who gained the prefect badge. Of course she was hardly qualified to judge what certified as good prefect material, but from what everyone said of Harry and how he had treated her she had no doubt he would have probably done a very good job. It was never a position Paige had wanted – you needed to have responsibility and she supposed at the time probably a better set of morals than she had ever got hold of.

She walked over and joined Sirius barely noticing as Harry rushed off as she looked interestedly at the photo Moody was showing everyone. He named the people; although some she obviously recognised.

"Caradoc Dearborn," She muttered "Where have I heard that name before?" She racked her brains; that was when it hit her "He played the piano," She said.

"Yes," Moody growled both his eyes swivelled to her "How did you know?" His naturally paranoid nature came into play.

"His piano is in our downstairs living room. I used to play it when I was younger," she admitted "It has his name engraved on it; my dad tried to get it off a few times, but it would never come off. Never knew whether it was because this Caradoc was a great wizard or because my dad was a piss poor one."

"How did you get it?" Sirius asked.

"Probably the same way the Callaghans get everything else; theft, fraud you know the story," She said and even she heard the tone of bitterness that crept into her voice. Not even their piano was their own; no it belonged to some dead order member who was probably a better man than the entire Callaghan gene pool put together.

Trying to get her mind off it she looked back at the picture, Moody noticed where her eyes went to and went back to the picture.

"And there is a young Sirius," he said "With shorter hair." He added with a harsh laugh. Paige looked at the photo for a minute before lifting her eyes and staring at Sirius.

"Looks better now," she told him. He looked at her a little shocked before a smile came to his lips.

"See Moony;" he said turning to Remus "At least someone likes it."

"Ahh well. There's no accounting for taste," Remus said a twinkle in his eyes.

"Hey." Paige said with an affronted look "I'll have you know I have bucketfuls of taste," She said as both Remus and Sirius raised eyebrows. "If only I could remember where I put them." Sirius laughed with her and Remus only smiled.

"But really," She said turning back to Sirius "I know my opinion is about as much worth as that of spider you stepped on this morning, but I like it. It looks dashing," She told him. Sirius had that unreadable expression on his face for a few seconds before he smiled again.

"Why, do you think that spider liked my hairstyle?" He asked with such a serious look, that Paige couldn't help but crack up laughing.

It had been a long time since Paige laughed but it was welcome. The smile on Sirius's face was handsome, a smile that, in his youth, would have stopped girls dead. Paige hated to admit it, but even now the smile was annoyingly attractive. That Sirius was handsome was undeniable but he didn't have to flaunt it quite so much. Paige knew that today some things had changed, whether Sirius remembered what had occurred that morning or not, things were different between them. She knew that it was probably a good thing – after all they would be spending an awfully long time in the house together, and she would rather spend it with someone she could call a friend than someone who hated her guts.

She had a feeling that the fact she was a Slytherin would always hang between them, but perhaps people would finally see that in the end it never really mattered. That what was important had nothing to do with your childhood house but the choices you made, whether right or wrong.