An evening in Roma

It is often when a person is trying his or her hardest to be inconspicuous, which is when he or she is stands out the most. And this was also true for Lizzie McGuire. After the fiasco at the graduation ceremony, she had spent most of her time cooped up at home so as to avoid all contact with anyone who might have seen her performance. Miranda, Gordo and even Lizzie's parents had tried everything to get her to step out of the house, but she had steadfastly refused. The only thing she looked forward to was the trip to Rome, because it meant she could leave her graduation day memories behind. So on that particular day, the McGuires reached the airport and Lizzie chivvied her parents into the terminal as fast as she could to avoid any embarrassing stares. But her fame had spread like wildfire and she attracted quite a few interested glances and pointed fingers as they hurried into the terminal. It didn't help that Sam and Jo seemed to be taking an inordinately long amount of time to enter the airport.

"C'mon, Mom, Dad, I have to get out of the country. Hurry," urged Lizzie.

"Calm down, honey," Jo replied, in what she hoped was a soothing voice, "I know you're still upset but it wasn't that bad."

"Not that bad!" shrieked Lizzie, "Was your graduation on 'Good Morning America', Mom?"

Since her graduation hadn't been on 'Good Morning America', Jo held her peace, deciding to allow Lizzie the space to get over that particular catastrophe.

"What kind of creep would send Diane Sawyer a video and embarrass you like that?" Sam thought aloud. None of them noticed a smile of satisfaction flit across Matt's face at these words. He had his trusty video camera with him, in the hopes of finding similar moments of his sister's embarrassment.

"Lizzie!" squealed a voice, ahead of them and Miranda came barreling down on her. "I can't believe we're actually going to Rome for two weeks," she said, almost jumping up and down in excitement.

Lizzie felt herself get carried away by Miranda's enthusiasm. "I know, how cool is that? And we can check out some hot…," Lizzie checked herself just in time, remembering that her parents had not left, and that they wouldn't be too reassured by her talking about hot Italian guys. However, Miranda understood what she had wanted to say, and she winked to let her know that she was with Lizzie all the way.

"I can't believe this," said a very frustrated voice next to them.

"Believe what, Gordo?" asked Lizzie, turning to the owner of the voice. And if the voice had sounded frustrated, the person to whom it belonged to was even more so. Gordo's forehead was wrinkled as he angrily flipped through the info packet that they had each been given.

"Do you know how many historical places have been left off the itinerary?" he asked Lizzie and Miranda, "I mean, if we are to soak up the culture when we're there; how are we supposed to do that if we don't get to go to all the important places?"

Lizzie and Miranda sighed; this was so typical of Gordo. They were going to Rome for two weeks and he was worried about what places they were going to visit there.

"Gordo, come on, we are going to Rome!" Lizzie pleaded, "Can we please keep the trivia to a minimum and enjoy ourselves?"

"Yeah and surely even you must be looking forward to, you know, meeting some pretty Italian girls?" Miranda chimed in.

"No," said Gordo bluntly, without looking up from his info packet.

"Why not?" asked Lizzie noticing his rather quick rebuttal.

"Yeah, Gordo, why not?" asked Miranda, only she didn't seem surprised, in fact, she was eyeing Gordo shrewdly.

"Err…," Gordo looked around wildly, feeling trapped. He was, however, saved the unpleasant task of having to undergo an interrogation that would have put the Gestapo to shame, by the sound of a shrill whistle.

Turning, the three of them observed a strange sight. Their chaperone, a lady, short in stature and full of build, yet the sort who instinctively emanates the aura of not standing any funny business, was riding around in one of the luggage carts and attempting to herd her charges together.

"What… is that?" asked Matt, for once looking intimidated.

"That is Miss Ungermeyer," Gordo explained, "She's going to be our high school principal for the next four years. Stay on her good side, and it's a one way ticket to an Ivy League school."

"And what if you're on her bad side?" Matt enquired, though looking as if he did not really want to know the answer.

"Well…" Gordo began, when they were interrupted by one of the airport cleaning crew, who unenthusiastically informed them that he had clean up some puke. No more words were necessary, Gordo just gestured at the retreating back of the man with such an exciting job on hand.

"You end up like that guy?" Matt asked with awe.

"No… you end up working for that guy," Gordo said, putting the finishing touches to Matt's unstinted admiration of Miss Ungermeyer.

As they watched, Miss Ungermeyer got off the cart and was immediately mobbed by a crowd of worried parents, each yelling about daughters who weren't supposed to eat garlic or soya products, or sons with tennis elbows. Miss Ungermeyer fixed them all with an eye which would have put the Ancient Mariner to shame, and deftly she put them in place explaining, that as she had the unenviable task of dragging their progeny through thirty-one monuments of historical importance in two weeks, she hoped that in that time they would have at least had a taste of culture before returning to their not so cultured roots. But, she continued, since these few were the ones who weren't the sort of trailer trash who had opted for the thirty six hour bus ride to the Waterslide Wonderland; they would have the opportunity to savour the delights of La Cittá Eterna. This statement caused many blank looks among the traveling party, and it was left to Miss Ungermeyer to explain that the phrase meant 'The Eternal City' or Rome, leaving her in no doubt that this trip was, without doubt, going to be something of a trial.

"Watch… and learn," Gordo smirked to Lizzie and Miranda, as he walked up to Miss Ungermeyer and turned on the Gordon charm.

"Excuse me, Miss Ungermeyer. I just wanted to let you know that I'm really looking forward to this exciting, and academically enriching trip," he said, with big dollops of sincerity added for effect.

"What's your name?" asked the Ungermeyer, looking as if she wanted to imprint Gordo's face on her mental retina.

Oh yeah, that was too easy, Gordo thought. "David Gordon, ma'am," he said.

"David Gordon? Well, I think that's Italian for sneaky little brown-noser with a hidden agenda," she said, and with a pat on his shoulders, she walked away; leaving Gordo looking stunned, and Lizzie and Miranda in a fit of giggles.

Just then, the unemotional voice used in airports around the world, announced that they had better get ready to board or risk being left behind, although she didn't say it in so many words. Miranda and Gordo hurried off to say their goodbyes to their families, leaving Lizzie with her family. Lizzie ruffled Matt's hair, much to his displeasure. Though he said nothing, his demeanor suggested the delight at her going away for two weeks, and the wish that she could be gone longer. Then came the dreaded moment, when her mother hugged her and wouldn't let go.

"Mom, it's only two weeks," Lizzie mumbled trying to escape her mother's enveloping arms.

"Honey, we'll be standing here for two weeks if you don't let go," said Sam gently, attempting to pry Jo away from Lizzie.

Reluctantly, Jo let go and stood back with a watery smile. Lizzie, glad that she was free at last, turned to her father, who had the sense to just hug her and say a quick goodbye. It is the strange thing about fathers; you think they couldn't possibly understand what goes on in your lives and then they can just surprise you.

Lizzie began to walk towards the rest of her group as her parents turned away to leave. As Lizzie walked, she began to think, about the woman whom she had taken for granted for all her life; the woman who had always been there to give advice or just be… her mother. And Lizzie was going to be without her for two weeks, the longest time she had spent without her mother. In an instant, she made up her mind and she turned around and ran back to Jo and gave her a hug; one that came from the heart, and didn't care how many people were watching.

Satisfied that for once she'd done the right thing, Lizzie brushed away the tears that were threatening to fall at any moments, said her final goodbyes and rushed to check in. Miranda and Gordo had already checked in before her, and once all the formalities were dealt with, they headed into the lounge to wait for the flight. As they were standing around waiting for the flight to be announced, all three felt themselves get pulled into a group hug by someone behind them.

"Lizzie, Gordo, Miranda!" said the excited voice of Ethan Craft, "Hey, we're going to the land where they invented spaghetti."

Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda grinned sheepishly at him; Ethan Craft was the Hillridge pretty boy who thought 2 plus 2 was 5. Lizzie had had a big crush on him, only for him to turn around and tell her that he felt no chemistry with her. That had cooled the heated passion, and now Lizzie looked upon him as a friend - a very dumb friend - but a friend nonetheless. Gordo had never liked him much and they had never hung out together, and Miranda only thought of him as cute and nothing more.

"Hey, Tudgeman," Ethan yelled into their ears, after spotting Larry Tudgeman in the crowd, and he moved away.

"Is that Tudgeman?" Miranda asked, surprised, as they turned to look at the repeated winner of the 'nerd of the year' contest.

Her surprise was warranted, because Tudgeman did not look like Tudgeman. Apparently, the incentive of the trip had caused him to remodel himself completely, and to that end, he had changed his hairstyle and was actually wearing a new, and pretty cool, shirt. In fact, he looked much as he had done at Miranda's party which had taken place some time earlier.

Since it seemed as if Miranda could not tear her eyes away from the new look Tudgeman, Lizzie punched her arm to get her attention, because a most pleasant thought had entered Lizzie's mind.

"And you know what the best part is?" she asked her friends, "Kate and all of her little blow-drying, teeth-whitening friends who've been ratting on me for messing up graduation, all went to Waterslide Wonderland. What?" The last part was addressed to Miranda, who had scrunched her face up apologetically, and was now pointing a shaking finger at someone behind Lizzie. Lizzie was about to turn around when she heard the voice that had always made her life a living hell.

"How many Lizzies does it take to screw in a light bulb?" asked Kate, striding past them like the prima donna she was, "I dunno, but it only takes one to screw up a graduation."

Lizzie looked helplessly at Miranda and Gordo who seemed equally stricken at having Kate along for the trip. However, there was nothing for it now, because if they were to wait any longer then they'd need wings to get to Rome.

Once in the plane, Miss Ungermeyer went on air again to ensure that everyone knew that she was the boss.

"Seat allotments," she said, eyeing them all sternly, as if daring them to challenge her, "Gordon, Tudgeman, you'll be in those seats on the right, near the window. McGuire, Sanchez, you'll have the seats in the middle in the same row. Since Margaret Chan couldn't make it, the additional seat will remain empty. Sanders…." And she droned on, assigning seats to them all.

"So, you excited about Rome?" Tudgeman asked Gordo, as they settled themselves into their seats.

"I guess," Gordo replied, not really paying attention to Tudgeman, rather looking at his two best friends, who were already engaged in an animated conversation.

Tudgeman followed his gaze and when he realized whom Gordo was looking at, his eyes narrowed. "What did I tell you about Lizzie?" he asked Gordo.

"Hmmm…?" Gordo mumbled still looking at the two, now giggling girls.

"I told you to stay clear of her. She's a heart-breaker," Tudgeman said, waving his hand in front of Gordo's face.

"Yeah, whatever, Tudgeman," Gordo replied, annoyed, as he pulled a book out of his back pack and began to read.

Half an hour after take off, Gordo was wondering if the airhostess would consent to open the door and let him jump off the plane. Tudgeman had treated him to a running monologue on all things Star Trek; including asking Gordo if he thought their plane resembled the USS Enterprise and even going to the extent of referring to Gordo as Spock. There could be no doubt that though Tudgeman looked different; inside he was still very much the same. Gordo called on all his powers of concentration to keep his eyes glued to the book he was reading, so as to drown out Tudgeman's voice. It worked too, and for a few blissful minutes he felt completely alone as he read in peace. But all good things must come to an end, and suddenly, he felt someone shaking his shoulder and calling his name. As his mind readjusted to his surroundings, it struck him as strange that Tudgeman's voice seemed to have acquired a higher timbre than usual.

"What?" he asked irritably, turning around and then his eyebrows shot up, "Lizzie! What… what are you doing in Tudgeman's seat?"

"Miss Ungermeyer thought that Miranda and I were making too much noise with our talking and giggling," Lizzie said, still giggling, incidentally, "So she moved Tudgeman next to Miranda, and I got his seat."

"Oh," Gordo replied, looking around Lizzie and noticing Miranda and Tudgeman deep in conversation, "Well, Miranda doesn't seem to be complaining. Maybe she is interested in all that Star Fleet stuff."

"Yeah maybe. So… watcha reading?" asked Lizzie, making a grab for Gordo' book.

Time passed much faster now, for both Lizzie and Gordo, as they talked, laughed, joked and generally, just spent time together in a way that they hadn't done in quite a while. Indeed they were becoming rather boisterous, and it was only when Miss Ungermeyer threatened to move Lizzie next to Kate, did they lower the decibel level. All too soon, it was bedtime and as the travelers began to unfold their pillows and blankets, so did Lizzie and Gordo. Gordo could rough it when needed and therefore he managed to get himself comfortable enough to sleep. Lizzie, however, had no such luck and she tossed and turned several times, much to Gordo's amusement, before they finally fell asleep.

The first rays of the morning sun that fell on the trans-Atlantic flight to Rome peeked through the windows at the weary travelers who were still fast asleep. The rays fell on Miss Ungermeyer, asleep with her mouth open. Now and then a snore would proceed from that cavernous mouth, followed by a snort not unlike that of an angry bull. In repose, Miss Ungermeyer was not beautiful.

Shuddering, the rays passed on to the seat in front, and fell full on the face of David Gordon. Gordo's first coherent thought, at this rude awakening, was wondering how he was going to get his eyelids unglued. Well, that was his second coherent thought; the first one was a wish that the sun wouldn't rise before 9 a.m. Once he managed to get his eyes open, he gazed around blearily at the other passengers, and his eyes fell on Miranda whose head was resting quite comfortably on Tudgeman's shoulder. Gordo was grinning at the sight, when he became aware that there seemed to be a great weight on his own shoulder, and looked down. He saw a head of straw-blonde hair and perceived that Lizzie had finally found something comfortable to rest on – him.

As he looked down at her face, so completely at peace as she slept, it didn't matter to him that his arm had gone numb, and that he would have pins and needles for hours. All that mattered now was that he had the prettiest girl in the whole world (at least in his opinion) asleep on his shoulder, and it caused his face to split wide with a smile that rivaled the rays that had woken him. Careful not to awaken her, he rested his head next to hers and closed his eyes, feeling that this moment was one that had to be prolonged as much as possible. He didn't notice Miranda crack an eye open and look over at them, and then her mouth curl into a little smile.

Taking into account time differences and other such complicated matters which this narrator does not understand, the sun was on its downward descent when the plane finally touched down in Rome. All the students had crowded near the windows to catch their first glimpses of Rome from the air, and there were several excited shrieks as they descended.

On the trip from the airport to the hotel, the whole group looked out of the bus they were traveling in, their mouths agape with awe, as the many wonders of Rome passed by. Gordo, being the only one to have read the info packet, pointed out several of the places they were to visit and they spent a pleasant few minutes talking about their plans for the time in Rome. As they pulled up in front of the Hotel Cambini, all of them hitched up their jaws, except for Ethan Craft, who had fallen asleep.

"Welcome to the Hotel Cambini," announced Miss Ungermeyer, as they stood in the foyer, "Now lest you think that since there are many of you and less of me and it will therefore be easy to pull anything over on me, think again. In addition to my being smarter, faster and better-looking than most of you, I've also enlisted a little help. The assistant manager of the hotel, Giorgio Averni, was a commander in the Italian Navy, and is there as up on his game as I am mine." Turning to the assistant manager, she said, "Giorgio, would you like to brief my students on the security procedures in the hotel?"

Now Giorgio's had been a sheltered life, at least, as sheltered as can be expected of an assistant manager of a hotel in Rome. Therefore, he had not had the experience of dealing with someone like Miss Ungermeyer. The question put forward by Miss Ungermeyer completely stumped him, and since he could come up with no definite answer, he settled on a happy mean.

"We serve at 5, the cookies," he told Miss Ungermeyer, very seriously.

That this was not the answer she expected was quite evident from Miss Ungermeyer's expression, and Gordo almost bet Lizzie five dollars that Miss Ungermeyer was going to give Giorgio detention. With a great effort, Miss Ungermeyer seemed to resist the temptation to do just that, and sticking on half-hearted smile, she turned to the group.

"You heard the man," she said, though it was abundantly clear that she wished they hadn't, "Room assignments. David Gordon you'll be rooming with Ethan Craft. You'll be in room 103…"

"Are those English or Italian numbers?" asked Ethan, sprawled out on a couch.

Miss Ungermeyer didn't roll her eyes at this, though she dearly wanted to. Gordo had no such compunctions; he rolled his eyes like nobody's business.

"You got a problem with that, Gordon?" asked Miss Ungermeyer, throwing Gordo the room keys.

"No ma'am. Any room is just fine with me," Gordo replied, having another go at the old oil and butter.

"You know," said Miss Ungermeyer pensively, "Being a spineless little jellyfish is as unattractive as being a brown-noser."

Gordo sighed as Lizzie and Miranda shot him sympathetic looks. Being one eighth Scottish, one wonders if Gordo was familiar with the Scottish poet Burns who once wrote, 'The best laid schemes o' mice an' men, gang aft agley'. What 'agley' could possibly mean, I do not know, but you get the gist of the phrase. And it fit Gordo singularly well at the moment. Agley was exactly where his well laid plans of getting on Miss Ungermeyer's good side, had ganged.

"McGuire," Miss Ungermeyer called, "Since Margaret Chan isn't here, you'll be rooming with…"

I am not, under any circumstances, sharing a room with…, yelled the voice in Lizzie head.

"Kate Sanders," Miss Ungermeyer finished.

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH, Lizzie wanted to scream, but she couldn't, so she screamed in her mind. Miss Ungermeyer went along allotting rooms for everyone else, but Lizzie wasn't listening. Her mind was taken up with envisioning the horror of having to room with Kate.

If there had been the slightest hope that things wouldn't be as bad as she feared, it was crushed as soon as they began to settle into their room.

"I'll be taking the bed by the window. You don't mind, do you?" Kate asked Lizzie, in a voice that clearly said, 'You'd better not'.

Uhhhh, YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS, Lizzie wanted, with all her might, to yell, but instead she just shook her head.

"Gordo and me should start the Spineless Jellyfish Club," Lizzie muttered to herself.

"What was that?" Kate asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Lizzie said quickly.

Kate looked at her with narrowed eyes for a moment, and then to Lizzie's great surprise, Kate assumed an expression dripping with compassion and understanding.

"Lizzie, seeing that we're roomies and we're going to be spending all this time together, I just wanted to let you know, I understand that you wanna put all that really embarrassing stuff behind you and just move on and have a fresh start," Kate said, every word dripping with saccharine sweetness.

"You do?" asked Lizzie dazedly, wondering if she had heard right.

"I understand your dream. It's a big dream, it's a huge dream, and you can't do it alone. In fact, I don't think you can do at all, let it go," she finished, and swept out of the room.

Lizzie groaned; it had been too good to be true. Kate becoming best friends with her again, would require them to travel to an alternate dimension. Just then, Gordo came barreling up the corridor and frantically gestured for her to follow him. Wondering what had got Gordo all excited, she emerged into the corridor in time to see Miranda come up as well, grumbling all the while.

"Gordo, what…" Lizzie asked surprised as Gordo grabbed her arm and began pulling her up a flight of stairs.

"I have something to show you," he replied mysteriously. Lizzie looked around at Miranda, who shrugged.

"He nearly dragged me out of my room but he wouldn't tell me what he wanted," she told Lizzie.

They reached the top of the stairs and Gordo pushed open the door and they stepped out on to the roof of the Hotel Cambini. Lizzie and Miranda gasped as Gordo spread out his hands and said 'Voila'.

It was the most fantastic sight that any of them had seen. The dying sun's rays were caressing the roofs and spires of the eternal city, bathing it in a golden glow, and giving it an ethereal feel. As a light breeze blew threw their hair, the three friends leant on the parapet wall and drank in the feeling of being at peace with the world and standing on the cusp of a new and exciting life.

"Pretty cool, huh?" Gordo murmured gazing out at the city rapturously. Lizzie and Miranda didn't reply, simply because there were no words that could describe the way they were feeling at that moment.

"You know what; I'm not going to let Kate Sanders get to me," Lizzie said, after they had stood there a while, "Promise me something…"

"Anything," said Gordo.

"Promise me that when we're here, we'll find adventures. I mean, this is our chance to start over, do anything we want to do," Lizzie continued.

"Yeah, you're right. All of us, adventure… deal," Miranda put in, smiling.

And the three of them bumped fists to seal the pact, and then they went back to standing together in silence, looking out over the city of Rome. None of them could have known just how much adventure they were about to have.