New chappie, finished at approximately 1 AM. Leafpool's POV, as promised.

Leafpool and the other medicine cats were already waiting when Mothwing appeared at their meeting place for journeying to the Moonpool.

"It's about time!" growled Barkface.

Littlecloud flicked him with his tail. "Don't go unsheathing your claws," he meowed. "It isn't as if StarClan is going to fall asleep waiting for us."

Cinderpelt purred with amusement as she got awkwardly to her paws, stretching her injured leg to prepare herself for the long trek. Leafpool took the lead in her place, Icepaw hopping along just behind her.

The tabby's pawsteps were slower than normal. For the first time ever, she wasn't excited about her trip to see StarClan. Would her warrior anscestors even speak to her, after what she had done? She looked nervously at the sky but saw nothing beyond the stars of Silverpelt, shining innocently against the blackness.

Icepaw looked at her curiously. "What's wrong?" he meowed. "Aren't you glad to be speaking to StarClan?"

"Of course I am," Leafpool meowed, looking ahead. "But that's no reason to get excited about it. StarClan's always there- it's just that tonight we'll be seeing them as well as they see us."

Icepaw flicked his ears as if absorbing the wisdom in this comment, and Leafpool was relieved that he had believed her half-truth. There was no way she could tell him the real reason why she was so subdued.

Then Icepaw looked up as well, peeking curiously at the starry warriors in the sky. "Is StarClan always there?" he wondered. "If they are, how come they don't stop bad things from happening? Like Weaselpaw-"

He stopped short, realizing what he'd revealed, but Mothwing appeared behind him. "It's all right," she meowed. "You can tell Leafpool about it. We're all medicine cats here."

Icepaw quaveringly told the story of what had happened at the balanced rocks. Leafpool listened, hoping that she did a well enough job of pretending she'd never heard the story before, even though Crowfeather had told her the whole thing. When Icepaw got to the part about Weaselpaw's death, Mothwing interrupted, alarm flashing in her eyes. "Hawkfrost didn't stand on the rock when it fell. It was wobbling before then. Weaselpaw was foolish to go under it."

"That's not what Webfoot said," mewed Icepaw, looking at her closely. Mothwing shook her head. "Hawkfrost wouldn't lie like that."

Would he? Leafpool thought, remembering the rogues, Crowfeather's own version of the tale, and the tabby cat's vicious dreams of grandeur. And what about Brambleclaw's warning? It had sounded like Bluestar had been telling him not to trust his half-brother.

Icepaw seemed to give up the argument, and only looked down, his small shoulders hunched. "I wish I could have been there," he confessed. "I might have been able to save Weaselpaw. If we could have hauled him out of the rocks sooner-"

"No." Leafpool cut him off before he could even think up a scenario. "There's nothing you could have done. If he was really trapped by that boulder, he would have been hurt too badly inside."

Icepaw scuffed a paw on the soil. "But I'm a medicine cat," he mewed. "I'm supposed to save cats, not accept that they're going to die!"

"Part of saving lives is realizing that, sometime, everyone has to go," Mothwing reminded him gently, touching her nose to his fur. Icepaw looked up at her beautiful face and seemed reassured, dipping his head to them before heading back to Barkface.

"It's hard, your first death as a medicine cat," Mothwing commented quietly. "And it was harder for me, because there was no one there to help me when Mudfur died."

Leafpool murmured a few words of sympathy, and she too remembered the first cat that had died in her time as a medicine cat- Willowpelt. A badger had badly injured her, and there had been little anybody could do by the time the warriors had brought her to Cinderpelt's den. But Leafpool still remembered bringing her mentor cobwebs and different herbs, feverishly trying to help with her minimal experiance. When Willowpelt had given her last breath, Leafpool had felt so helpless. Why hadn't she, the medicine cat, have been able to do anything?

Cinderpelt had told her about her first death, too- Silverstream, Graystripe's RiverClan mate. Cinderpelt had been the one to deliver her kits, and had done all she could to help the queen with her too-early birth. She had saved Stormfur and Feathertail, a great feat itself, but Cinderpelt had confined that she had never completely stopped blaming herself for the pain Graystripe and his kin had had to suffer after that day.

Leafpool shook her head free of bad memories, instead focusing on the path in front of her. Mothwing was doing the same, but Leafpool suspected she must be remembering Mudfur and her shortened training with him. Did she still regret the loss of her mentor? Did she blame herself for not being able to save him?

Then her thoughts wandered to Mothwing's awful secret- that she did not believe in StarClan. Leafpool's eyes widened as she looked to her friend. Does Mudfur still watch over you? she wondered. Does he even bother, when you don't believe that he's still there?

&&&

Leafpool nervously approached the banks of the Moonpool. Around her, Littlecloud, Cinderpelt, Barkface and his apprentice, and even Mothwing had dipped their heads to drink some of the icy water. Leafpool paused for a moment, staring into the depths of the pool that rippled as more water splashed from the crack above. Her reflection shimmered and changed, and for a moment it looked as if Crowfeather's long, short-furred figure was peering at her.

"We haven't done anything wrong, Leafpool," he pointed out gently, and then bared his teeth, his eyes flashing. "And I'll tear any cat apart that comes between us- StarClan or not."

A purr rose in Leafpool's throat at his typical ferocity, but his image was already fading away, leaving her alone to throw herself at the paws of StarClan. The medicine cat swallowed, and then dropped her head to lap water from the pool that she had discovered herself, not so long ago.

&&&

Leafpool floated through nothingness for a few heartbeats before her paws found the grass again. She stood and looked around her, blinking. It was still night, and she remained in the hollow of the Moonpool. But it was empty now, and she could not see nor scent any other cats around.

Carefully, Leafpool made her way to the small pool, peering into it. Reflected starlight shone at her, but soon the water's surface swirled into new images, just as it had done before. This time, however, she did not see Crowfeather. Two silver cats were peering at her, each a copy of the other, their bright blue eyes sparkling with understanding and sympathy. Feathertail and Silverstream.

But as quickly as she recognized them, they were gone, to be replaced by a flat-faced queen with dark gray fur and orange eyes. Yellowfang blinked at Leafpool, and the tabby cat saw pride and spirit in her gaze that she could feel pricking at her own paws.

Next came a younger cat with beautiful dappled fur and clear eyes. Leafpool recognized Spottedleaf right away, and she opened her mouth to greet her, but Spottedleaf's image in the pool was as fleeting as the others. She only dipped her head and then was gone for another cat to take her place.

Leafpool had never seen Bluestar before, but Firestar, Sandstorm, and the elders had described her so many times- broad-shouldered and powerful with her thick blue-gray fur that gave her her name, eyes like slices of the sky in newleaf. She twitched her whiskers at Leafpool, and then she too had disappeared.

Now a new picture blossomed, different from all the others. It wasn't a cat, but a scene, someplace Leafpool knew, but far too fuzzy to see clearly enough to identify. She saw dark shapes leaping across it, heard yowls splitting the air, so furious they made her fur bristle. Two cats leaped at one another in the heat of the battle, and Leafpool caught a glimpse of their eyes- fiery, but yet so very cold.

"Do you see this, Leafpool?" whispered a voice, soft and whispery, deep with wisdom, belonging to that of all the cats she'd seen in the pool.

"Yes," Leafpool mewed, desperately trying to figure out who the fighting cats were. But before she could they were gone.

"It will come to pass, we promise you. But the outcome...not even StarClan can predict what will happen."

"But don't you know?" Leafpool meowed, gazing down still even though the image was gone.

"By now you must know that StarClan is not certain of everything. And certainly you know that some choices must be made by ourselves alone."

Leafpool lifted her head, thinking of Crowfeather. Then she remembered the yowls of the cats in the pool. "Do you know who they are?" she asked.

"Leafpool, you must remember all past warnings. And also know, for the sake of all others, that there are far worse things than hunting in the stars."

Leafpool's tail twitched, and then the cats she had seen one by one before reappeared, this time side by side. They stared up at her with a mixture of empathy and support and amusement. One by one, they dipped their heads, and when Leafpool spoke she knew they were speaking about something else entirely then what she had seen in the Moonpool.

"We honor you, Leafpool, in our secret hearts," mewed Spottedleaf, lifting her muzzle and purring. "For you have only done what was needed. Not for StarClan, not for the forest- but for yourself. And one other."

Leafpool knew she spoke of Crowfeather, and she felt a warmth spread through her as she realized that StarClan had not left her, despite what she had done. She listened silently as Bluestar spoke. "You have followed your heart, Leafpool. Some among us have done that. And some of us-" She sighed and looked towards Spottedleaf. "Some of us still dream of what would have happened if we had."

Anyone catch why I chose those specific cats for Leafpool to see? It's surprising how much forbidden love there was, if you think about it.

Anyway, reviews are appriciated! (Still, saying it, Nightwind/Waffles-r-after-me!)