Chapter 2: How Could It Get This Bad?
(A/N : This chapter includes lyrics from Evanescence. I do not own them. I'm going to be switching every other chapter with Paige's or Alex's thoughts.)
I sat on my bed thinking about anything and everything.
I started writing in my journal because the thoughts were coming to fast to process them:
I'm a graduate. I have the rest of my life to figure out. My future. What future? I'm unemployed and will never make anything of myself, just live off welfare.
I can't take the stress, or anything anymore. I'm so sick of being me!
Paige broke my heart. I loved her so much. Hell, I still love her. She was my everything. I'm so lost without her.
Paige won't miss me will she? Hell, I don't think anyone will.
I remembered the rumors of Ellie Nash and her cutting. To me it sounded pretty good. If you're going to cut, you might as well just kill yourself. Which sounded pretty good.
I tried to find something sharp. I searched through the house. I searched the kitchen for knives but they were all dirty, my moms room which there was nothing, my room, only to find rope. The rope is what I will use to hang myself. I'm done with life. Fuck it!
The song Missing by Evanescence was playing when I hung myself when my body was discovered by my mom.
Please, please forgive me,
But
I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And,
barely conscious, you'll say to no one,
'Isn't something
missing?'
You won't cry for my absence, I know.
You forgot
me long ago,
Am I that unimportant?
Am I so
insignificant?
Isn't someone missing me?
Even though I'm
the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to
know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing
me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I
breathe deep and cry out.
Isn't something missing?
Even
though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though
I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone
missing me?
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try
for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all
alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
