Chapter 3: Before The Funeral
(A/N: This is Paige's thoughts before the funeral. Some of the things I wrote in this chapter are how I feel sometimes. I think I know where I'm going with this story.)
It was a miserable day. The weather matched my mood perfectly - cold, rainy, dark; even though it was summer. It was the day of Alex's funeral. I was dreading it immensely.
It all started when I woke up startled from the dream I had had. It was about Alex and her funeral. Everything was pink; the chairs, coffin, blanket, and even worse her dress. Her mother had been laughing hysterically at the funeral despite all the other people crying (including me). The minister had said some nasty words about her and then said "I'm glad she's dead." Suddenly, as if on cue, Alex opened her eyes and got out of her coffin. She then said in her squeaky voice "It's okay everyone, I'm alive. I was just playing a cruel joke on all of you."
During the past few days all I did was cry. I'm sick of crying. I'm so worn out. Yet, worst of all I had slipped into a depression. Without Alex I felt like my life should end. I was nothing without her. I missed her so much. She had to be still living, this was all a joke. My dream would come true (except for the whole pink-funeral-thing). I feel so guilty for breaking up with her, it's all my fault that she has killed herself. I feel so useless. I'm sick all of this. I hate the way I'm feeling. I should be happy about going onto Banting, to start my future; but without Alex I don't have a future.
I had to pick out an outfit for the funeral, yet anytime I looked into my closet I would start to cry. Just looking through my clothes would bring back memories. Each outfit representing a different memory.
The funeral was at one. I couldn't eat anything sue to my stomach felt like it was tied in knots. I didn't want to go. No one was forcing me (except myself). I just wanted to get it over with.
