What We Do In The Shadows: "Jen..."

Summary: There are unexpected consequences when Laszlo seeks a new human familiar...

Part LXXXXIII…

[Note-Naturally we are diverging from the new season storyline into AU territory]

The secret HQ of the Vampire/"Mosquito" Hunters of the Tri-State Area…

"I think I should be there…" push of glasses on nose.

"No." Claude, firmly as the two speakers stood aside from the other members currently practicing skills…Tonya firing an arrow at a figure suspiciously like Nandor the Relentless. Shanice, the best friend of poor Jenna, being encouraged by two other members, one male, one female, to stake a CPR dummy bearing a photo of Jenna taped on the face… "Do it, stake her!" Shanice, finally managing to lightly pierce the surface, then backing off…

"You didn't kill her! She's rising to kill you!" the male insists, pulling a rope to raise the dummy's head and torso to a sitting position.

"This isn't what I'd want, Shanice…Kill me!" the female intones, in a voice with only a vague resemblance to Jenna's.

"Claude…Althea's my girl, sort of. Even if we haven't yet met in this existence. My wife, if these memories coming on me are right."

"No. Look, it's not the right time." Claude frowns. "This isn't going to be the moment, your being there can only upset things. Althea will be all jangled, worrying about you. Dr. Acura would have to worry about her, and you…No, Derek. Not the place nor the time."

"I can't let my girl go alone into a den of vampires…" frown, folding arms.

"You're only mortal now, Derek. And while you have instinctive skills, dude."

Cut to shot of Derek destroying numerous attacking vampires in the Hustler clan house…

"…You're not superpowered. And she has the greatest redeemed vampire hero…Not counting us…" Claude, smiling a bit… "Her own dad…At her side, plus a Van Helsing will be there, not to mention the original, watching from beyond, both ready to act. It's just a party, Derek. She'll be fine."

"Unless she's not…Angel? Would you let your girl go there without you?"

"My girl's not the Slayer…" Claude sighs. "Though she always insists on going alone…And as a matter of fact…She will be there."

Derek blinking…

Really? And here I was, thinking he was gay…

Wait, where did that come from?

"I get it, Spike." Claude, frowning. "And as you well know, I'm not gay. Look, I don't like letting Eloise go in alone either. And I only found her again six months ago, after losing her as Nina over thirty years ago after Angel's destruction." Sigh. "But we don't want to go in and get the subjects riled. This is an important night for Nandor the Relentless, likely crucial to his Redemption, and for all of them. We're under orders here…From Van Helsing himself. And that's how it's gotta be."

Derek frowning…

"Forgive me, Jenna!" Shanice crying as this time she rammed the stake into the dummy's chest.

"All right, people, nice jobs…We have our orders from the Boss, dismissed." Claude calls to the greater group of male and female Hunters about the room. "Keep your phones handy, everyone. We go to war shortly, though not tonight." Hard stare to Derek. "Thanks, all."

The group filing out…Derek shaking head…

"Officially…" Claude hisses to him.

"Oh, my…" Nadja, in gown, beaming at the main dining table, set beautifully for the occasion and various small tables, lain with hors d'oeuvres, members of the catering team making final touches. "Jacqueline, peoples, wonderful job!" she claps for joy. "Oh, Laszlo! Come and look at our lovely, lovely dinings room! The girls and our caterers folks have done us so proudly!"

"Thank you, Mistress." Jacqueline, now out of maid's uniform and into gown for the evening's festivities, given some of the non-enthralled of Zeller Realty's attendance, bowing. Slight eyeing to the camera.

Yeah, it's me here. And rather pleased to be out of servant's costume.

"Why, how very fine." Laszlo in his formal tux, now properly altered, nodding at the display.

"Oh, turn up the electricity in the chandelier, dear!" Nadja, waving frantically. "I want to see it burning bright."

Jacqueline turning knob as the huge chandelier glows.

"Oh, so lovely! Oh, I so love our home, Laszlo. I am so proud…" Nadja beams, then sighs.

"Now, now, dearest. No time for regrets." Laszlo, patting her. "Time for Lady Cravensworth to host the greatest reception the Isle of Staten has ever known and to show she's a great lady and hostess of the line Cravensworth."

"You're right." Nod. "Martha! Eloise!" Nadja calls… "Come and see! Oh, you have all done such a fine job, you nice catering peoples!" she addresses the catering staff, standing by the table. The group of two men and two women smiling back.

"A little touch of hypnosis applied…" Laszlo notes, aside to camera… "Just in case anything unusual for human receptions should occur. No need for the staff to be upset and all that, eh?"

Martha and Eloise, both in gowns, Martha with hair carefully piled, entering…

"Neat…" Eloise nodding at table… "Great job, guys."

"It looks wonderful, Miss Nadja." Martha notes.

"And you ladies, if I may…" sidelong to Nadja who shrugs. "Look lovely…" Laszlo, bowing slightly.

"Thanks, Mr. C." Eloise beams.

"Thank you, my Lord." Martha, bowing.

"Nandor will be overwhelmed…" Nadja, whispering, warm smile to the crimsonly blushing Martha.

"Calm yourself…Seriously, careful with the blushes, little one." She notes to Martha. "Nandor doesn't wish to eat you tonight. In the blood lusty sense." Wry smile.

Bell ringing…

"Ah, more of the guests…" Laszlo, beaming. "Shall we, my dearest?"

"We shall…" accepting his proffered hand.

"Martha? Remember. Tonight, you are our guests, not our minions. And most deservedly so." Laszlo notes, turning to door.

"LAS!"

"Shauny!"

About thirty minutes later…

Eloise to camera, well made up, hair piled, sipping at a glass of wine… "Well, the Knieve dolls well, huh?" warm smile, indicating gown.

"Nice to deck out, and quite a deck out." She beams. "Hey, Erika! Billie!" waving at the newly arrived girls. Billie staring a bit at her, Erika in her own dress, waving.

"My God…Where we supposed to dress up like that?" Billie hisses.

"Eh, just how you feel." Erika, smiling to Nadja across the room. "I just felt like digging out this old one and getting my hair done."

"Eloise looks amazing…But that thing must've cost a fortune." Billie notes, a bit nervously embarrassed as she regards her own dress suit.

"Well, she helped Jen with this deal and the Cravensworths are pretty generous…"

"I guess…"

"Let me just go say hello to Lady Nadja…"

"'Lady'?" Billie stares. "She's a 'Lady'? British-type?"

"Well, I think so…" Erika, hastily. "But she and he don't stand on ceremony. Excuse me."

"Sure…" Billie nods. Looking about a bit and moving to Eloise.

"Are you guys still working?" she eyes the camera.

"They never stop, I guess." Eloise smiles. "How you doin', kid? Quite the palace here, huh?"

"I can't believe it. And I wish Ginny had tole me to dress up a bit more…" Billie sighs. "You look amazing, Ellie."

"Eh, well…The guys were nice and generous, and I wanted to deck out a little." Shrug. "Hi, how's about a glass of wine for my girl here?" To a passing member of the catering team, now serving as one of several waiters bearing trays.

"Thanks." Billie took glass. "Whoa…That's…"

"Expensive…Yeah." Eloise nods.

"I feel kinda dowdy, Ellie." Looking about.

"Nah, nah…The Cs are ok. Just enjoy. Oh, there's Jackie Williams. Hey, Jacks!" waving

Jacqueline in her gown smiling, standing near Laszlo who was eagerly showing off the giant television to his friends, his old neighbors Shaun and his wife Charmaine and the newly arrived professor/boyfriend of Ginny, Rich, and waving back…

"Wow…" Billie shakes head. "She actually looks happy…"

"Las, this place is incredible!" Shaun in suit, staring round. "I knew you were loaded but…Whoa!"

"It's like the Atlantic City Caesar's! How much did ya pay for this, if ya don't mind telling?" Charmaine, in rather loud dress, asked.

"Careful investing…About five million in the final analysis…" Laszlo beams, making shrewd nod to them. "I'll put you on to my broker tomorrow, Shauny. You know Colin Robinson from the old place?"

"He's your broker? Wow. I gotta talk to him." Shaun nods. "Incredible, Las! Incredible!"

"Well, it belongs to all of us. And please consider it your home away from home." Laszlo notes. "We're going to do a little traveling soon as it is, Nadja, Nandor, and I…Some book research, just having my mate Rich here and his girl housesitting for us, and there's plenty of room anytime you two want to hang."

"We may take ya up on that, wow." Shaun nods, shaking head as he looks round.

"Glass of wine for my friends here…" Laszlo calls to passing waitress. "Unless?" eyeing Shaun…

"If you got beer, I won't say no, Las." Shaun beams. "Wine's a little wasted on me."

"We got the good stuff…That import you like. Could you bring my pal a Heineken Germanic brew, please, dear?" Laszlo to the waitress.

"So, Richard here is a history professor at New York University and helped us get by the Historical Society board, of which, Rich, Shaun here, is a member as well. Rich? My ole pal Shaun, from the old neighborhood." The tall, distinguished-looking Richard shaking Shaun's proffered hand.

"Junior member…But I try to make the meetings as I can. History, eh? I love History." Shaun notes, beaming. "I just finished '1776' by that McCullum guy. You gotta read that one, Las."

Richard nodding… "A wonderful book."

"I gotta hear about this…" Laszlo beams. "So, what did I miss in 1776?" all three chuckling.

"These three are gonna jaw for hours, come on girls…" Nadja, taking Charmaine by hand, nodding to Jacqueline. "Let me show you the place, Charmaine…Oh, this is my friend from our real estate office, Miss Jackie Williams and there's my other friend, Martha…They helped us so much getting this place. Martha! Come on and lets all tour the house! Nandor's going to be fussing with his uniform for another half-hour!" grinning to Charmaine. Aside… "Martha's got a terrible crush on Nandor…Don't say anything but I think he likes her too. It's very sweet."

"Oh, that's too cute…" Charmaine grins. "Ohmigod, look at that couch…!"

"Isn't it something?" Nadja beams. "The cushions are so bouncy. Come and sit…Jackie, come and sit with us!"

"Well, well…Quite a place…" Dr. Acura, in suit, beaming to the waiter opening for him at the door. "May we? Dr. Acura and daughter. Come on, Althea…" As the waiter opens wide.

"Wee!" Nadja crying out from the couch, Charmaine and Jacqueline bouncing with her.

"Oh, there's the girl…" Eloise notes to Erika standing by her.

"The…Miss Acura…" Erika hastily corrects, as Billie moves near. "Very lovely girl."

"Old friend of Mr. Relentless…" Eloise explains to Billie, staring over at Althea. "She's his adopted girl." As Billie nods.

"Do my eyes deceive me?" Nandor's voice at the doorway from the basement to the vast dining room.

"Nandor, you ole maniac!" Dr. Acura beams, waving. Althea looking over as well.

"So that's Count Dracula?" Eloise to Erika as Billie moves to catch a waiter with hors d'oeuvres.

"Very handsome…" Erika nods, eyeing him carefully and tensing as Nandor strides hurriedly across the room.

Martha staring from the couch…Nadja smirking and nudging Charmaine who smiles…

Oh, yeah…She's got it bad, nod.

"Comes out like an action-adventure flick…Not borin' at all. Not that I, for one, ever find History, borin'." Shaun notes to his companions.

"My God, that's a fantastic uniform…" Rich notes, eyeing Nandor in his regalia…

"My dear ole friend! So glad you could come!" Nandor, beaming to Dracula, the two fervently shaking hands. "And Ms. Acura…So good to see you again!" nodding to Althea.

"Nice to see you again, sir." Althea smiles. "Nice uniform."

"An ole one, from the home country…Thank you, my dear. And you are very lovely."

"Magnificent place, Nandor." Acura beams. "And that is quite a uniform."

"Wait till you see what I have to show you downstairs…" Nandor nods proudly. "But come and meet some of our guests here…Why, Guillermo." He stares at the figure in the doorway just stepping up.

"Hope it's ok that we came…" Guillermo, in tux, shyly. Susan and Phyllis, in gowns, beside him.

"It couldn't be the party we'd hoped for without you, my boy." Nandor, beaming. "Vlad…? My chief assistant, Guillermo De La Cruz, his fiancée, and our real estate friend Miss Phyllis."

"Actually, we've met. Enroute to and in Mexico, at his aunt's…" Acura notes.