A/N: Hi everyone. Don't own them. Bye.

Thanks to: CrystalClear444, Nikki and Soozeh,

Darth Tater – thanks for your idea! I didn't actually write that, but I have a similar reference :P Great minds mate.

Deamon Fire – Firstly, thanks for both the reviews. I got your first one just after I posted the second chapter, so sorry bout that. I think you might be missing the point – these are meant to be stupid and out of character. They're a laugh, nothing more.

The reporter hurriedly turned to Carter.

"Major, how do you unwind?" he asked.

Sam smiled angelically, and the reporter smiled back thinking he finally had a sane person.

"Well, firstly, I backwards engineer alien devices. Then, I invent a new device. Then I do reports. Then, I do experiments. If I'm really desperate, I run diagnostics. Then, I provide rumours for the grapevine by smiling at my CO and brushing our fingertips together when I pass him the ketchup and when we have compromising positions offworld, and then I come up with the next lot of plans, A, B, C, D and E for saving the world, and the universe. Yeah. That's what I do," she said.