Author: DD Agent
Title: Time Capsule
Summary: 25 top tips from John Sheppard as he decides to leave his legacy.

Characters: John Sheppard
Rating: G
Spoilers: If you haven't seen the end of Season One, turn away.

Timeline: Just after The Brotherhood

Disclaimer: I own none of this story; its characters etc. belong to MGM Studios and the guys who make and own Stargate.

John Sheppard, the commanding officer of Atlantis. Cheers to Joe Flanigan who plays him really well. Also, hats off to Jammy, my little skittle eating hyper star. I may be your boss, but you are my friend.

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Dear Inhabitants of Atlantis,

Pending an idea from Dr. Rodney McKay, we have decided to make a time capsule containing everyone's thoughts and such before the wraith come in a few weeks. This will be sent back to earth in a digital letter and also buried on Athos (the Athosians planet) to preserve our selves and our story before the wraith come in a few weeks.

Please send me your own editions soon.

- Dr. Elizabeth Weir.

Okay, here we go. My name is Major John Sheppard, and I am commanding military officer on Atlantis. Many people will write down biographies but you can read all about me in my file. I decided to give you 25 top tips that I have learned over my many years of living.

Be careful where you sit. If I hadn't sat down in that chair in Antarctica, I wouldn't be here. The Wraith probably wouldn't have woken up, and I wouldn't be writing this now.

Nobody gets left behind. It's a principal thing at the SGC, but it works well. The people that you work with are like you're family, and you don't leave family behind.

Warn people before you chuck the head of Science off a balcony. Elizabeth wasn't too impressed when I threw Rodney off. Maybe she would of seen the funny side if we had told her.

Watch out for bug things. They are not very nice, and suck the life out of you. Also, they are damned inconvenient when your Jumper is stuck in the Stargate.

Punch Bates when you can. The idiot was insulting my team and the Athosians. I really should have punched him, right then and there.

Watch out for kids with bows and arrows. They may look sweet, but they aren't. Rodney can testify to that.

Give the wraith you have in capture funny names. I have already taken Steve; but Bob, Fred, George, Minnie, Thomas, Boris and Malcolm are still up for grabs.

Always have a spare Jumper handy. In case you are ambushed by the Genii or other Pegasus weirdo's, have a spare to threaten them with.

If your old buddy's come back from the dead and your old teacher turns up, be very afraid. Just yell and scream to the malevolent force holding you lets you go.

Check I.D.C's more carefully. Just in case they are actually Genii in disguise.

Practise targeting. Just in case you have to miss a friend to shoot the bad guy.

Just because there aren't any life signs, doesn't mean that there aren't any Wraith. Don't split up and carry plenty of ammo when dealing with downed or active Wraith hive ships.

Listen to Dr. Weir. I didn't, and because of my actions, some men on Atlantis paid the price for my mistake.

Alien women can be hot, but can also turn out to be something entirely different. The first woman I hooked up with in this galaxy? An ancient!

Past, Present and Future mix. Look at what happened with the old Dr. Weir.

Don't trust the natives, people in the Pegasus galaxy tend to stick together. Just be wary of people. When we went to that planet to get a ZPM, the Genii got it instead.

McKay has a big mouth. If I wasn't for him blabbing that we weren't direct descendants of Atlantis, then we could have a ZPM right now!

Do not, under any circumstances, fantasise about your expedition leader in a briefing. This can lead to drooling and Dr. Weir looking at you funny for a while.

Do not, under any circumstances, tell McKay that you fantasised about your expedition leader in a briefing. Because he will go and tell her.

Don't tee off Carson Beckett. The man gives you your injections, and decides where to put them.

A black mark on a record does not mean that someone is bad. It means that they did something no one else was willing to do. Nuff said.

Football is the greatest game on the planet. Also Nuff said.

War and Peace by Tolstoy is a BIG book. Read it at your peril. I, however, am on perfect schedule.

Do not get mixed up with Hail Mary and Bloody Mary. Two of the Athosian kids got scared to death.

Horror Movies can be scary back on Earth, but the Wraith are a lot scarier. The Athosian kids weren't scared an inch by Halloween!

This was 25 top tips by John Sheppard. Hope you enjoyed them.

-John Sheppard 11/02/05