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They're in: Sixth Year
Recap:
James was pale now, "It's Lily, she's cut herself. Bad. I don't know what to do!"
"I'll get McGonagall. Stay with her." Sirius ran toward the Portrait Hole, trying to get to his teacher fast enough.
James took Lily gingerly in his arms and whispered, "It'll be okay, Sirius is getting help..." He counted numerous cuts before McGonagall burst through the portrait hole with Sirius closely behind her.
She gasped when she saw Lily. "I'm taking her to the Hospital Wing."
THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN REWRITTEN (8/05)
Chapter Six: There's a Brighter Side
Professor McGonagall levitated Lily and drifted her quickly to the Hospital Wing, James and Sirius at her heels.
"Poppy! Poppy!" McGonagall yelled frantically when she finally reached her destination.
ABC.
There was a lot of bustling about when Lily awoke the next morning. Lily willed herself to go back to sleep, she had been having such a nice dream...
Wait, Lily thought suddenly as she opened one eye tentively, where am I? When she finally realized that she was in the Hospital Wing, she groaned inwardly. Running a hand through her already messy hair, she tried to think of why she was there.
I was in the Common Room, I did what I had to do... then what? James. She closed her eyes in regret, I told him not to tell... He had told someone after all. She looked at her arm, everything was healed. But she did a double-take. Where were her scars? They had been there for years.
It had been the one thing in her life that was constant. Where were her symbols of insecurity? She ran her fingers slowly over where her scars should have been, trying to feel the slightest bump. There wasn't any.
The curtains flew open, and she jerked her head up to look at the intruder. "You're awake," Madam Pomfrey said unceremoniously. "I did try to make those boys be quiet, but you know... boys will be boys."
"Oh, right."
The young nurse handed her a cup of steaming, crimson potion. Lily pulled a face when she caught a whiff of it. "Well don't just stare at it, drink it."
Lily downed the potion in one gulp, feeling it burn all the way down. "Who else is here?"
"Four Gryffindor sixth years."
Without asking, Lily already knew who they were, but asked to make sure.
The nurse responded, "Mr. Black, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Potter are currently visiting Mr. Lupin." She gave the four a disapproving glare before closing the curtains once more, muttering to herself.
It was finally night time. Lily had tried all day to figure out what had been wrong with Remus, he was pale and sweaty, but she just couldn't figure it out. Lily was feeling as if she should be asleep, but she had trouble getting to it. She heard the door creak open and wondered who it could be at this time of night.
She glanced at the door. It was shut. She rubbed her eyes, trying to get to sleep, but when she opened her eyes again, James Potter was standing right in front of her. Letting out a startled gasp, she hissed, "What are you doing here?"
He closed the curtains around her bed and cast a sound-proofing charm on them. "I came to talk to you," he said in normal tones.
"I gathered that much." They were silent for a while.
"Why?" James asked suddenly.
"Why what?" she snapped, knowing what he was going to say next.
"Why did you do what you did to yourself?" James responded.
"Like I said, it doesn't concern you. Would you kindly leave? I'd like to go to sleep now." Why was she pushing him away again?
"Lily!" James said frustrated. "Why won't you tell me? If you keep bottling up your emotions like this, it'll just be worse next time. You could have died!"
"That was the plan," Lily whispered before she had time to think. Lily clapped her hands over her mouth and her eyes opened wide.
"What?" Lily looked away, unable to look James in the eye after what she had just said. She felt his warm hand on her cold one. "Don't..."
"Don't what?" she whispered, staring out at the moon. It was almost full, tomorrow night it would surely be full.
"Don't say that. You're not thinking..."
"Yes I am," Lily snapped, "I thought about all the people who hate me, I thought about all the things they say and do, I thought about the prejudice, James. It just isn't worth it..."
"No! Don't think that way! Think about all the good things--!"
"Like what?" Lily interrupted.
"Like your friends and family and things that make you happy." James was getting frantic in his desperation to make her see the good things in life.
"I don't have friends, my family hates me, and nothing makes me happy."
"I'm your friend." Lily finally looked at him. He was being honest, she could tell. His beautiful hazel eyes seemed to tell her that she could trust him.
Eyes filling with unshed tears, she blinked rapidly to get rid of them. She actually had a friend. A real friend.
"Don't cut yourself anymore, Lily. Please..." he quietly begged her.
Lily stayed quiet weighing her options. Option one: keep cutting and lose a friend. Option two: quit cutting and have a friend. Obviously, there were more things to be gained with option two. "Okay," she said finally, sighing. "I'll stop."
James gave Lily's hand a quick, reassuring squeeze before letting go and gave her a relieved smile, "Good."
abc.
Lily was back in her dorm room and had her crimson, velvet hangings closed around her. She had the razor blade in her hand. What am I going to do? I as good as promised that I wouldn't do it anymore, anguished thoughts flew through her head. I can't cut... Jams will know... I can't write... I don't want the same thing to happen with Anna or Jopelle... What could she do?
All options she had thought of were not good enough. At the moment, she had been working on drawing a diagram of Jupiter's moons for Astronomy, but she had been absentmindedly doodling on the edges of her diagram.
Drawing.
It didn't matter that Lily wasn't a great artist, as long she could recognize what she was drawing and what it was about, it didn't matter that no one else could. In fact, it would be better. No one would know what she was drawing, giving her a small sense of privacy. Besides, I could just wipe it clean with a magic eraser.
Lily went down to the Great Hall for dinner, relived that she had found a solution to her problem. She sat down by herself as usual and finished early, consequently going to bed early too.
Even though today was not the best day ever, she knew that things were going to get better. She knew because today was the first day in a long time that she had not cried. Not at all, not even a single tear.
abc.
James awoke quite early the next morning, he was careful to be quiet: Sirius had informed him last night that he intended to sleep until dinner. He went down to the Great Hall and saw Lily sitting by herself.
"Hullo," James said cheerfully, sitting down across from her.
"H-hi," Lily responded, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn as she watched James grab pancakes, bacon, French toast, hash browns, waffles, eggs, and sausages. "Are you feeding the whole world, James, or just yourself?" she joked.
"Just me!" he said brightly, and Lily laughed. When was the last time I did that she wondered. Lily couldn't remember the last time she laughed or smiled genuinely.
"I couldn't even eat half of that!" Just then, Sirius decided to walk into the Great Hall.
"Wow, he has awoken! He swore to me that he'd be sleeping in until dinner," he told Lily. "Hey Sirius! Mate, come sit with us!" he called to Sirius.
Lily panicked, "Oh my gosh, why did you do that? Sirius Black, going to eat here! Right across from me! James, why did you tell him to eat here?"
James furrowed his eyebrows, "Why? Do you hate him or something?"
"No!"
Realization dawned on him, "Oh! You like him!"
Lily turned the color of her hair, "Just a little..."
"Just a little what?" Sirius asked, plopping into the seat next to Lily's.
spotted kitten: A thank you to those who read the first draft of this chapter: Silver Mist4, xxSpAzZiExx, taniita, DLster, Swishy Willow Wand, LiL AcE ViLLa, and Amandinka.
