Ch. 4
Easier To Some Than Others
Zuko awoke in the early hours of the next morning before sunrise. The clouds were still a lazy dark purple and he could faintly see the quickly disappearing dim specks of stars. He slowly stood up and looked around at the dormant figures around him. His gaze landed on Katara's sleeping form, softly rising and falling to the beat of her gentle breathing. Zuko cursed silently to himself, remembering the previous evening.
"Shit!" He turned and quickly walked off toward the beach.
"What the fuck was I doing!" he asked himself angrily as he jabbed a flaming fist into the dark dawn. "What the hell was I thinking! I can't believe I let her kiss me. I can't believe I kissed her back!" There was a crackling sound as a rotting log on the shore burst into a dancing display of reds and yellows.
"Why did I open up to her? Why did I tell her everything? I let her words get to me. I just gave in to her longing blue eyes. I really am weak. If pouring your emotions out to a stupid girl isn't weak, I don't know what is."
More fiery punches and kicks into an otherwise cold silence.
"This will not happen again. I will not let anything get in the way of my goals. The Avatar is my only hope to restore my throne and my honor." Zuko froze. The Avatar. The Avatar has been right under his nose this entire time, but Zuko had been too caught up with some girl that he had completely forgotten why he had really rescued her in the first place. Well, of course she had been in danger, but that only turned out to be the perfect cover story for his plan, his plan to take the girl as his own hostage and use her as ransom.
Zuko had this plan thought out perfectly. He had been pondering it for the past few weeks. He had seen too much death and destruction, too much sadness and heartache, too many broken lives. He just wanted it all to end. He wanted the war to end, his exile to end. All to end. And he finally came to the conclusion that there was only one way to stop it all.
…
When the bright warm light beat through the sanctity of her eyelids, Katara awoke to find that all three boys were already up. Sokka was polishing his boomerang, Aang was playing with Momo, and Zuko was sitting beneath the shade of a large tree, his back resting against its trunk, snapping a tiny flame into life and then death over and over again. He had a look of far away thought on his face, as if he didn't put any effort into it or didn't even realize the trick he was doing with the fire.
At this, Katara suddenly felt a pang of jealousy. With her waterbending, she had to concentrate intently and try extremely hard just to make the water stir. Even the simplest of moves required her serious focus and effort. How could this prince not even notice that he was bending, not even try?
Then Zuko made a small fireball in his right hand and began to toss is back and forth, from hand to hand, the same distant, musing look in his eyes.
Katara sighed a disgruntled sigh of frustration and went to have some breakfast.
But her mind could not keep itself from thoughts of the prince. Not only thoughts of his facile firebending skills, but from their encounter last night as well. What was I thinking when I kissed him! What came over me that I got the urge to reach up and kiss him? I can't believe I did that. And, I can't believe he kissed me back! Oh, he was a good kisser, gentle and warm and passionate. Wait! What am I thinking? I thought I've already been over this, I can't have feelings for this firebender. He is my enemy, Prince of the Fire Nation, out to conquer the world, out to capture Aang.
But why hasn't he? What is he waiting for? We haven't been stopping him, Aang has been easy prey. Why hasn't he murdered Sokka and me in our sleep and taken Aang? There must be something stopping him. What if it's me. What is he has feelings for me? But that's impossible. I know that could never be. Yet, I think that I might be developing feelings for him. I cannot let this happen, I cannot endanger us any further. This is just repayment for his rescue of me. As soon as Zuko – wait, Prince Zuko (best to keep things as formal and unfamiliar as possible) – is better, we will send him on his way. I suppose he will resume his hunt for Aang and we will forget that any of this ever happened.
It is best that I distance myself from the Prince as much as possible. I can't afford any new emotions to arise.
…
As the day progressed, Zuko noticed that Katara seemed to avoid eye contact with him, avoid speaking to him, and actually, avoid him completely and all together. He was surprised by this, but not upset. He deep down knew that he had been developing some sort of an attraction to the Water Tribe girl, but he could not let her get in the way of his plan. He knew that if they were to spend more time together, his feelings would grow, and everything would fall apart. So Zuko did his best to avoid Katara, as well.
Sokka noticed that Zuko and Katara had been distancing themselves from each other all day. He noticed that whenever they spoke, it was only with "yes" or "no," not like yesterday when they were friendly and chatty, and almost – he cringed – flirty. But Sokka didn't spend anytime disappointed or upset about this lack of amicability; he was relieved that his sister wasn't getting herself into anything with this no-good Fire Prince.
But nevertheless, he had to admit that he was slightly concerned about the sudden change between the two benders. He would keep his eyes open, but not worry about it too much. As Aang came up to speak with him, Sokka forgot his thoughts all together.
"We're running low on food. Appa's is pretty well rested now. I think we should take a trip into the nearest village tomorrow, restock on supplies, then get moving."
"Yeah, Zuko seems like he's doing fine. We'll give him one more night, then send him on his way. I'm sure there is a crew out searching for him right now, anyway," Sokka replied.
"You mean Zuko?" Katara walked up to stand beside her brother.
"Yes," Sokka said, "We've got to keep moving, and I think that Zuko is capable of taking care of himself now." He gave a quick glance to the boy who was watching them carefully from across the campsite, out of earshot.
"You're right, we've got to find Aang an Earthbending teacher. The sooner we get moving, the better. I'll go let Zuko know that this is his last night," and with that, she turned on her heel and went to speak with Zuko.
Katara felt slightly disappointed that she and Zuko would be parting, but she was for the most part relieved. She was surprised at the effect that this boy was having on her, and quite frankly, it scared her. But she knew that once he was gone, things would go back to normal.
As she approached him, Zuko stood up, almost with ease, but with a slight grimace of discomfort from his wound. Katara noticed, but didn't acknowledge it.
"Um, hi," she said to him nervously, although from where this apprehension came, she did not know.
"Hi," he replied back.
"How are you doing to today? You seem much better."
"Yes, I feel much better today, too," he said nonchalantly, igniting and extinguishing one of his tiny, dancing flames in palm with a flick of the wrist.
"Good. I–" She stopped when she noticed the flickering orb disappearing and reappearing in its master's hand. "How do you do that?"
"What?"
"That," she said pointing to his hand.
"Firebend? You're kidding right? The same way you bend water, Katara. I know you've seen me do it plenty of times. What are you –"
"No," she interrupted. "I know you can firebend, I'm not stupid. But how can you do it with such ease, with so little effort?" He gave her a puzzled look and she continued, "How can you do it without even concentrating? I have to work so hard to control water. I have to focus intently on each move. You seem like you don't even know that you're making fire!"
Zuko shrugged. "I guess it just comes more easily to some than others."
Katara knew that this comment was not meant to be offensive, but she couldn't help but think that this was Zuko's way of saying that he was better than her.
"What are you saying? That you're better than me? That the oh so special Prince Zuko is superior to everyone else?"
Despite his shock at this uproar, he replied calmly, "No. That's not what I said."
"That's what you meant, though. You think you're better than me, don't you? You're too good for me? Well I've got news for you, Your Highness: you're not."
Zuko couldn't believe how out of hand this was getting, and he was getting angry. He abruptly stepped forward and grabbed her wrist in his hand.
"I don't think that I'm better than you, or too good for you. You have no idea how hard I have to work to keep my bending under control. You have no idea how many hours I spend each day meditating, concentrating, focusing. I've spent years training. My childhood was spent perfecting moves and learning to stay in control, learning to keep the fire inside me under control. It's hard Katara. If anything, I'm the one who should be jealous of you! Even though your waterbending skills aren't perfect, I wouldn't expect them to be. Not with the life you're living. Traveling the world, Taking care of the Avatar, running away from people like me! You have no time to meditate or learn to stay under control, yet you still do it anyway! Your abilities amaze me."
Katara was shocked at this. She hadn't expected him humble himself, let alone to compliment her. She was speechless, and after his outburst, so was Zuko. He gently released his hold on her forearm.
Neither of them knew what to say to the other.
After a few moments of silence, Katara spoke up softly. "I'm sorry," she said, looking at the ground, not daring to look into his golden eyes, in fear that she might give in. But she couldn't help it, she had to look up and see what he was thinking. Slowly she lifted her gaze to meet his. Their eyes locked.
Zuko struggled to stop himself from reaching out to Katara. She was so passionate about her feelings, and Zuko couldn't help the yearning inside of him for her to feel passionately about him. Although, he thought, she probably already does. But it must be a passionate hate or a passionate pity, nothing else. Nothing more..
Zuko finally resisted and diverted his gaze away from Katara's sapphire eyes and toward the woods.
"We're leaving tomorrow. You're well enough to take care of yourself now," she said softly, just quiet enough for him to hear.
Zuko knew that was coming. He knew that the Water Tribe boy and the Avatar didn't like his company, and now that he had recovered, they would want him gone as soon as possible.
This was his last chance to put his plan into action.
