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They're in: Seventh Year

Recap:

Neither had been able to sleep. Lily's thoughts were plagued with what James was going to tell her before they had been interrupted. What was it about? Was it about her? What was he going to say?

James thoughts were being plagued too for the same reason, but both had different thoughts. James was focusing on how Lily would have reacted to his confession. Would she hate him? Would she confess her undying love to him? Three little words, eight letters. He had gotten the first one out too, he was so close to saying it:

I love you.

Chapter Seventeen: Code Red

The next afternoon, the fussy Madam Pomfrey had finally let the two Gryffindors out to lunch. Lily and James walked quietly past the Great Hall, where lunch was still being served. They walked out into the main corridor, hoping that another incident like yesterday would not occur.

Following James into the Common Room, Lily thought of what James had possibly wanted to tell her yesterday.

James sat down against one on a couch near the fire and Lily sat down next to him. He put his arm around Lily and Lily did not object; instead she leaned into him, being happy that he was there with her.

They were both quiet for a few moments, then James broke the silence. "Lily?" he asked.

"Hmm?" she answered, eyes closed and smiling dreamily.

"Lily, I-"

"What?"

"I... I'm happy that you're here with me," James said. Damn it! Why can't I just say what I feel?

"Me too James," Lily mumurmed, snuggling up against James even more.

"Why are you doing this?" James said without thinking.

Lily's eyes snapped open and she turned sharply to face James, "Doing what?"

"Doing this!" he responded, as if it answered her question.

"What do you mean? What am I doing?"

"Leading me on, that's what!" Damn, the both of them were quite content just being together, and now James had ruined it because he just wanted to know.

"I'm not leading you on..." Lily looked away, shamefaced.

"Yes, yes you are. Why don't you just let me love you?" James eyes opened wide when realization dawned on him. He'd just said the 'L' word, hadn't he?

Lily looked at him and her eyes were wide as well. "Love?" she whispered, as if she were afraid of his answer.

James held his breath and let it out. "Yes. Lily, I tried to tell you yesterday-"

"Don't do this to me, just please don't."

"I'm not doing anything to hurt you! I just want to be with you. Why can't we?" James pleaded.

"I don't want to get hurt..." Lily responded softly after a moment.

James put his finger under her chin and gently raised her face. "I won't hurt you," he said, kissing her forehead.

"How do I know that?" Lily said sadly.

"Because... because, Lily, I love you." There. He had finally said it. A huge weight seemed to life from his shoulders. James welcomed the relief.

Lily's eyes opened even wider than before and she gasped. "No, James, you can't!" she said, before hurriedly leaving and running up the staircase to the girls' dormitories.

Damn, just when she thought that her life was getting better, James had to come along and ruin it for her. Was it really his fault though? He loved her.

I love you, seemed to replay itself a million times in her mind. She slammed the door shut and frantically searched in her night stand drawer for her best friend in her time of stress...

She pulled out her razor blade and put it against her skin.

How can I do this? I'll completely lose James's trust and he won't want me anymore!

James.

Her thoughts seemed to always find their way back to James. How?

And why does she always care as to what he thought? What he did? How he was with her?

Wasn't she supposed to have a crush on Sirius Black, James Potter's best friend? Since when had she stopped liking Sirius and start liking James?

Wait, when had she even acknowledge that she had a thing for James?

Everything was so complicated now... she needed time to think, time to gather her thoughts together and be ready with her response to James.

But right now, she just needed her razor blade.

She ran the razor across her arm.

ABC.

Shit. Maybe he shouldn't have told her that he loved her. Why not though? He did love her... why couldn't she understand that he wouldn't hurt her like that bloke Weasley did?

He loved her, damn it!

This was definitely not going to plan. He was supposed to say that he loved her differently, it was supposed to be romantic and sweet. After he professed his love for her, she would gaze happily into his eyes and reveal that she had a secret love for him also. Then they would kiss.

Instead, James had ended up spitting the words out and Lily had run away from him, thinking that he would hurt her. But he wouldn't! He was different!

In fact, his feelings for her were different, they were so strong they couldn't be anything but love.

James dropped his head into his hands and muttered, "Idiot! Stupid git!"

"Who? Snape? We already know that," Sirius said as he sat down next to his friend.

James glanced at where he was sitting. Lily had been sitting there moments ago. "No. Me."

"Well, I already know that too," Sirius chuckled and James glared at him. "Alright. I'm sorry, what's going on?"

James hesitated a bit, but knew that Sirius would never do anything to make him feel worse than he already was. On the contrary, he knew that Sirius would do anything in his power to cheer him up. He sighed, "It's Lily."

His friend nodded, somehow already knowing that a girl was the root of James's troubles. "Go on," he urged.

"I told her."

"Told her what?"

"That I love her."

Sirius stared at James. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I'm serious!"

"No, I am," he smiled in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Sirius, I'm serious here!"

"Alright, Sirius. What'd she do?"

"She ran away."

Sirius sucked in some air and said, "That would be a code red."

"Code red? What are you talking about?" James was in no mood to play guessing games.

"Alright, so there's seven codes you need to know about: white, yellow, black, green, orange, red, and blue. Code white is when a girl is totally in love with you and you are too. Code yellow is when a girl is just so happy to be with you that she'll do anything to stay with you. Now, Code black is-"

"Padfoot!"

"Alright! Code red, let me think," Sirius's face set itself in mock concentration, "oh yes. Code red is when a girl doesn't know what she wants. I usually stay away from those, they're quite dangerous to the heart," he finished, as if he were wise beyond his years.

"Code red... as in she might want me, she might not?" James asked hopefully.

"Erm, I guess... but you shouldn't pursue a code..." but James was already on his way out of the Common Room, a plan forming in his head.

ABC.

Lily was still sitting on her bed with all the curtains closed, but her arm had stopped bleeding. There were two more lines on her arm, both deeper than many that she had done before. With her wand, she cleaned up her arm and healed her cuts. No one would ever know what she did, it was perfect.

James's words had affected her so much. It hurt, but she didn't know why. His words should have been comforting and welcoming, so why did she keep having second thoughts?

She didn't want to get hurt by the boy that she liked so much. Her heart had already been broken once, who's to say that it won't get broken again?

A/N: Thanks to those who reviewed chapter 16: Emrisah, taniita, TeArSoFfAtE, Crazy4Cocopuffs, faerielights804 (x2 because you reviewed twice:), and beachbabe17.

Crazy4Cocopuffs: I am seriously considering putting in a character just like you described. What's a name that you like? She'll be lucky w/Sirius hehe

faerielights804: I know you asked so long ago, but sophomore year is just the second year in American secondary schools. The first year is freshman year, the second is sophomore year, third is junior year, and fourth is senior years (we only have four years in our secondary school).

beachbabe17: James didn't ask why before he says "I love you" because he thinks that if he tells her that he loves her, it'll change her mind. We'll see what happens...

SORRY! for not updating AGAIN for a freakin year! But I know that this summer will be the last because I plan this story to have about 20 or 21 chapters. Um, I love you guys? Keep reviewing and make me happy:D