Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
They're in: Seventh Year
Recap: Lily was still sitting on her bed with all the curtains closed, but her arm had stopped bleeding. There were two more lines on her arm, both deeper than many that she had done before. With her wand, she cleaned up her arm and healed her cuts. No one would ever know what she did, it was perfect.
James's words had affected her so much. It hurt, but she didn't know why. His words should have been comforting and welcoming, so why did she keep having second thoughts?
She didn't want to get hurt by the boy that she liked so much. Her heart had already been broken once, who's to say that it won't get broken again?
Chapter Eighteen: Deception and Realizations
James ran out of the Common Room, eager to formulate a plan, but to do that he would need a quiet place to think, a place where he could concentrate and no one would bother him.
Passing the enormous tapestry (which showed Barnabas the Barmy's foolish attempt to train trolls into learning ballet) three times, James thought of his need and a door appeared on the smooth stone wall. He quickly entered it and found it to look much like the Gryffindor Common Room except much smaller and with parchment and quills lying around, ready for use. What can I do to make Lily want me?
ABC.
Lily yawned widely as the sun hit her face and she opened her green eyes slowly. Her auburn hair was disheveled and tangled; Lily ran a hand through it before going down to breakfast.
Glad that today was a Saturday, she sat down at the long table in the Great Hall and began buttering her toast. She spotted James down the table; he was eating his breakfast with Remus and Peter, but he did not look as if he were participating in the conversation. In fact, he looked surly and disgruntled.
Sirius, on the other hand, was sitting at the Ravenclaw table flirting with a pretty brunette. The girl had green eyes and a sprinkle of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Lily vaguely recognized her as a sixth year, but she could not remember her name.
Biting into her buttered toast, she glanced down the table at James. At that moment he decided to do the same and the two made eye contact. Lily quickly looked down at her food and felt her face begin to redden. She hoped that her hair was covering her face and she sneaked another look down the table. James was apparently very interested in his food and scowled when Remus addressed him.
On the whole, James looked miserable. Was it because Lily had basically rejected him last night? Frowning in thought, Lily felt as if she made the wrong choice last night. How bad could it be? James loved her and Lily liked him. In time her like for him would surely grow into love, right?
Making up her mind, she decided that if James was still surly and grumpy in two days, she would take back her words from last night. After all, he could just be having a bad day today and his surliness could have absolutely nothing to do with her.
It all depended on how James acted in these next two days. Monday would be the day she would either tell him she likes him or keep ignoring him.
ABC.
"Why are you in such a sour mood?" Remus asked when Peter had decided that he got bored and returned to the Common Room. Peter had been acting very strange lately, Sirius, Remus and James had noticed. Peter had now taken to taking midnight walks with big, black cloaks and he always took the Map with him, even when another had requested that he leave it. Since when did Peter get bored at the Great Hall anyway? He loved to eat, and now he looked as if he had lost several pounds and didn't eat much anymore. Yes, something was definitely happening to Peter.
James scowled at him and responded, "Sirius hasn't told you?"
Just then, Sirius plopped down next to James and asked, "What didn't I tell?"
Ignoring Sirius's question, Remus's face was carefully set itself in a neutral face, "No he didn't tell me anything. Will you tell me what's wrong with you?"
Hesitating for as long as possible, James finally said, "I told Lily that I love her and she ran away. She didn't even tell me if she liked me that way or not."
Thinking deeply, Remus answered, "She's probably scared to get hurt. I've seen the two of you together. Both of you are always so happy to be just with each other, it's so obvious. She probably just needs some time to realize her feelings for you."
James looked into his friend's face, awed at his wise thoughts. "Wow, Remus. Since when have you been so girl-savvy? What did you do, read a book or something?"
"I kind of just picked it up," Remus was smug.
"I have a suggestion that will probably help with your horrible dilemma," Sirius grinned, "Jealousy really does the trick. Speeds up the realization process quite a bit, you know."
"Sirius!" Remus scolded. After a few moments in thought, he added, "But it's true."
"Really? Jealousy? So I should get a girlfriend to make her jealous," James quickly concluded.
Sirius and Remus exchanged looks and Sirius said, "As long as you don't take this other girl too seriously and she knows it, then yeah."
James perked up and surveyed the Great Hall to search for any possible candidates. "I know this girl, this Hufflepuff, she has a huge crush on you (well, this week anyway), her name is Marcela, Marcy for short," Sirius said helpfully.
"Really? Where is she?" James was already excited.
"I don't understand why she doesn't like me instead," Sirius grumbled, then responded, "She's at the Hufflepuff table. She's that short, blonde girl who's getting up right now."
Without a second glance, James bounded up to her and asked, "Marcy?"
Marcy's eyes opened wide and she nodded.
James kissed her passionately. I'm kissing Lily, he thought desperately, trying to ignore how bad Marcy kissed. He really hoped that Lily would realize her feelings soon and do something about them. Smiling winningly, he asked, "Will you be my girlfriend?"
Giggling, she nodded again. James left and sat down again with his friends and joyfully exclaimed, "Guys, I've got a girlfriend. Is she looking over here?"
"No, she's giggling and gossiping with her friends, why?" Sirius asked, peering over at the Hufflepuff table.
"No, not her! Lily! Is she looking over here?" James said, exasperated.
"No, she's glaring at Marcy and looking pretty angry," Remus responded.
"Good," James grinned.
ABC.
He just kissed that girl! Didn't he just tell her yesterday that he loved her? He was playing her! What an asshole! Lily had never seen him even acknowledge Marcy, but apparently they were more than acquaintances since they just kissed.
Lily was fuming. No, she didn't care. At least, she was trying to convince herself that she didn't care. It didn't concern her at all. Whatever James did with Hufflepuff tramps was all his business, not hers.
Glaring at the accused Hufflepuff, Lily told herself that all guys were asses and they all needed to stop playing with people's hearts. She couldn't even finish her food, so she just left the Great Hall and walked out of the castle.
Still mad about the Great Hall incident, she sat down at the edge of the lake, occasionally angrily throwing rocks into it. How could he have done that to her? Lily was really hurt. Maybe it's payback because I hurt him yesterday. Lily quickly discarded the idea.
Frustrated with boys in general, she dropped her head into her hands and closed her eyes hard. It was cold outside, and Lily hadn't been planning on going outside anyway so she didn't have a cloak or a jacket to keep warm. Rubbing her hands together and blowing on them in an attempt to warm them up, she realized why she was hurt and why her thoughts always drifted to James no matter what.
Lily's eyes sprang open with realization, and suddenly she felt very stupid and naive. How could she have ignored this for so long? She hadn't even realized when it happened, but it did.
Lily Evans had fallen in love with James Potter, and she ruined her chances with him.
A/N: I got this one out a lot faster, huh? Yay! I've already finished chapter 20 and I'm starting chapter 21. I'm planning 22 chapters. Anyway thanks to those who reviewed chapter 17: robster639, Emrisah, ReadingRobyn, and irit.
Emrisah: You have stuck through this story for a really long time (over a year haha) thanks so much for your encouragement! 3
