Guard Duties & Grieving Godfathers
Chapter 31
Sunday, October 13
Sirius was making his way through the dark corridors of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, heading straight to the room where people were conversing in loud voices.
He entered the dining area to find all pairs of eyes turn to look at him and immediately turn back, continuing whatever discussion they were having. Sirius blinked. Not one sarcastic quip about his tardiness. He must have finally broken them.
He took off his coat and draped it behind the chair as he slid into his usual seat, absently noting two new faces. Sirius caught the tail end of the conversation, and looked up sharply.
"Who had a run-in with the Dementors?" he asked.
"I did," squeaked Dedalus Diggle. "I was heading home last night after my shift. There was a dementor just around the corner of the street. Luckily, I managed to banish it before the muggles could notice."
"There has been two dementor attacks in Kent so far," said Kingsley, "disregarding the unsuccessful one on Dedalus. The dementors are getting to be a problem now that the Death Eaters are setting them on unsuspecting people."
Molly looked horrified. "Were they wizards?"
"Muggles," said Hestia, scowling.
Bill leaned forward, his fang-earring dangling and catching the light from the candelabra. "I have some news. I think the Lestranges are up to something. I was watching them on Wednesday and they were definitely discussing something about a plan of attack."
"Did you hear anything that could help us? Where or who they plan to attack?" asked Arthur.
"I couldn't risk revealing myself, so I had to give up mid-way. I'm sorry."
"Don't be, Bill," said Sirius. "I, for one, have information that they plan to attack the Longbottoms."
Some of them gasped but Moody looked curiously at Sirius, who nodded. Not all of the Order, especially the new members, knew that Snivellus was spying for them. It was best to keep it under wraps as it would mean a higher chance of the information not reaching Voldemort's ears.
Hestia huffed in annoyance. "Great! Now, we need another set of volunteers to stand guard over them. We're running out of people who can actually show their faces to the Death Eaters. They already know Fred and George are part of the Order and we've had to place protections around their shop."
"We must disguise ourselves from now on," said Moody gruffly. "That way we can have more people on the field."
"Disguise ourselves, how?" asked Charlie. "Polyjuice Potion? That's difficult to brew and not to mention, expensive."
"Leave that to me," said Sirius. "Transfiguring our appearance is also an idea for those who are good at it."
"And I think we must look into securing all of the Order members' houses this week," said Kingsley. "It is better to be on the safer side."
Everyone agreed and Arthur added, "We should also secure Hermione's home and her parents. Being Harry's friend –"
Sirius nodded. "Of course."
Within an hour, they had already outlined the bare essentials of a plan, as they discussed over dinner that Kreacher had prepared with Molly watching over him.
The discussion soon became relaxed as they treaded into casual territory. Fred and George introduced Sirius to the two newcomers – Alicia Spinnet and Oliver Wood who had been part of Harry's first Quidditch team. They had joined a week ago, around the time Sirius had been injured.
After fifteen minutes, Moody and Sirius took on the task of training the younger ones. Bill and Charlie joined in as they headed to the drawing room on the upper floor. Tonks had shift-duty in Hogwarts, but Catherine Johnson had come and was conversing with Charlie.
Harry's entire Quidditch team were a rather loud bunch, and as it was almost like a reunion after school, they were chatting merrily. Sirius smiled nostalgically as he remembered himself, James, Lily, Remus and Peter doing the same when Dearborn and Moody were training them. He frowned as his mind stuttered on Wormtail's name. It was sickening to think almost all of his happy memories were tainted with that rat's presence.
Moody called for quiet as they divided into batches. He would take Catherine and Charlie as they were slightly advanced to the rest. Sirius would take the twins, Lee Jordan and Angelina while Bill would continue the training sessions he had started earlier with Alicia Spinnet and Oliver Wood.
Sirius divided his charges into pairs and they got into the duelling practice that always preceded their lessons. Sirius noted each of their moves and spells, showing them the right wand movements and coming up with critiques and encouragements.
George was slightly better than Fred with his reflexes and Angelina's spells packed a punch. But, Fred was the most creative of the lot and Lee could produce a solid Shield charm. Overall, Sirius was exceptionally pleased with their work as he said, "Great job all of you!"
They beamed and the twins high-fived.
"Now, this week we'll be focusing on dark creatures and how you're going to fight them. I'm not talking about Kappas or Grindylows, but the likes of Dementors, Inferi and—"
"—Werewolves," said Fred, grinning, his knowing look hinting at their altercation earlier.
Sirius never did like the term 'dark creatures' applied to werewolves, because he instantly associated it with Remus. But after Greyback, he could quite understand why they were termed as such, so he conceded with a nod.
"And werewolves. Now, since we already have a problem with Dementors and werewolves running around at the moment, it's best we'll start from there."
oOo
Sunday, November 3
More than three weeks had passed since Sirius had tipped off the Order about the Longbottoms and the impending attack. Augusta Longbottom lived alone, frequently visited by her brother Algernon and his wife, Enid. Frank and Alice's son, Neville was in school and safely out of the way.
It was tedious, watching over the Longbottom's house every day. Moody had drawn up a six-hour rota and it usually involved Order members paired up in twos or threes, some disguised using Polyjuice Potion and others transfiguring themselves to look unrecognizable.
Sirius wondered if maybe Snape had somehow gotten the wrong information regarding the attack. There wasn't even a whiff of any Death Eater activity in the Blackpool area. Or was it some elaborate joke of his to keep the Order busy with this mission and consequently stop their focus on tailing the other Death Eaters?
Sirius felt the slight ebb of suspicion creep into him. He wouldn't put it past Snape to do just that. How could Dumbledore know he was still on their side anyway? He was a Death Eater in the First War and Sirius knew that if you were once a Death Eater, you were always a Death Eater. Wasn't that how he had lost Regulus last time, because he had gotten cold feet?
Still, despite his nagging suspicions (that the other Order members did not share), they went on with their mission. It wouldn't do if they abandoned the Longbottoms now and the Death Eaters finally made a move on them, so Sirius had dropped bringing it up in their Order meetings.
The sun was setting and Sirius couldn't wait for his shift to get over. Granted, there was nobody home but Twitchet, but he would get the opportunity to finally let down his guard and unwind instead of being constantly on the edge.
Which is why, he flinched when he felt the soft tap of somebody on his arm.
"It's me, Bill!" hissed the familiar voice of one Bill Weasley.
"Bloody hell! Give a bloke a warning, next time!" exclaimed Sirius once he had caught his breath.
Bill, who looked nothing like himself because of his transfigured appearance, suddenly turned his wand onto Sirius. "What was the first dinner my mother made for you?"
Sirius did not even hesitate. "Meat and two veg, wasn't it?"
Bill lowered his wand, grinning. "You're like Ron. He never forgets anything when it comes to food."
Sirius snorted. "On that note, I'm going to eat. Has Hestia relieved the twins on the other side?"
"You know Hestia. Like clockwork, that woman."
Sirius gave a tired smile as he clapped a hand on Bill's shoulder before walking a safe distance away to Apparate home.
Twitchet served him a magnificent dinner, but his appetite was lacking. After half-hearted apologies to the kind house-elf, he retired to Fleamont Potter's study. He removed his jacket and tossed it to the desk as he headed straight to the chest of drawers on top of which sat Mr. Potter's liquor collection. He uncorked a bottle of gin with the tap of his wand and poured a generous measure for himself.
He usually tried his hardest to forget this day – the damned date of his birth, which had been easy when he was in Azkaban. He could hardly remember things like dates or months when his mind had been running on a loop, watching James dead, again and again.
When he was younger, he hadn't really enjoyed his birthdays at his parents' house. He couldn't when his parents made it a socialite event and he was forced to mingle with his snobbish relatives.
His only good memories of his birthdays were after he met James and Remus and Lily. He stubbornly refused to think of the other boy, the man who had so expertly fooled them all on this very same day and nobody had seen it coming. He scowled and took a large gulp of the gin, the after-burn nearly punishing in its intensity.
You deserve it, Sirius found himself thinking morosely. You deserve it for having ripped apart a perfectly good family. If only he had never met James, he would have been alive today, raising his beloved son like he had always wanted. Sirius felt disgusted with himself for even thinking that he was filling in for James.
He threw back the rest of the gin and refilled his goblet before crossing the study to sit on Mr. Potter's chair behind the desk.
You should be here doing this, James. You should be the one to see how much Harry enjoys flying on a broom. Or how his eyes nearly light up when there's treacle tart after dinner. Or how very particular he is to the Beatles just like Lily.
But even as he thought so, some selfish part of him was very glad that he had met James. His life would have had no meaning if James was taken out of the picture. He couldn't even imagine how he would have turned out if he hadn't taken that compartment with that boy with his messy black hair and glasses on September 1st, 1971.
Then he reverted to cursing himself again. Harry rightfully deserved more time with James than he did. It would mean the world to Harry, if he had even got to spend at least half the time Sirius had had with James.
All because Sirius Black had to be born on this day, hadn't he?
He didn't know how long he had been stuck inside the unending cycle of dark thoughts inside his head, when he heard the door of Potter Manor open and then shut. He knew he was far gone when he couldn't even muster the energy to become alert or even suspicious.
Maybe if it really is a Death Eater, he could put me out of my misery already, he thought idly as he stared at the open window in front of him, the thin white curtains dancing with the howling wind. He didn't even flinch when he heard familiar footsteps coming up the stairs and the door was thrown wide open.
"Sirius," came the voice of Tonks slowly as if she was wondering whether or not to interrupt his melancholy. But, Sirius still could not remove his eyes from the open window. A part of him became disappointed that it wasn't some Death Eater like he had wished for and then guilty for even thinking of it.
What about Harry, you idiot? Would you really leave him alone just because you couldn't deal with something as silly as your grief, when Harry has more right to grieve James and Lily than you do?
He jerked in astonishment when he felt the goblet lifted out of his hand. Tonks was looking at him pitifully and Sirius didn't like that. He didn't deserve that.
"I'm alright," he whispered hoarsely as he looked away unable to meet her eyes.
Tonks shook her head. "That's not true and you know it."
And just like that, tears sprang into his eyes and Sirius couldn't understand why he felt so emotional all of a sudden. It was jarring to hear those words and it felt like déjà vu to him.
"I just wish Remus was here," said Sirius, blinking repeatedly to clear his eyes. Remus would know just what to say. He was not ashamed to think that that's what he needed at the moment. Assurance from his only best friend left that he too deserved to live.
He felt himself enveloped into the comforting soft embrace that he came to associate with Tonks; something that gently reminded him of Lily.
"I wish he was here too," she said softly before Sirius pulled away. He stood up, albeit a little shakily. Tonks threw out an arm to steady him. "Where are you going?"
"I'm heading out for some fresh air," he said, looking at the door from which she had entered.
"Sirius, you're drunk. It's not wise—"
Some corner of his mind was vaguely amused at how similar she sounded to Remus at that moment. But he would not be deterred.
"Please."
Whether she heard the desperate pleading in his voice or the need to escape from that place as quick as possible, Tonks understood. She simply nodded. "Okay."
"You can stay here tonight if you want," said Sirius as he walked out. "I'll be back before breakfast."
oOo
A/N: Tonks' dialogue "That's not true and you know it, " is a reference to Remus' same words in the Prologue chapter.
