Legendary Guardian - Waves upon Waves

Youke stood, still and emotionless, as the blazing golden sun fell low in a cloudless sky. Two coffins -- one large and one very small -- lay at the end of the Bevelle docks, their water-reed and wood forms encased in black fabric. Symbols of the Yevon faith were embroidered in silver upon the shrouds.

Auron's small hand reached up to clasp his uncle's. Behind them, standing a respectful distance down the pier, were more people than Youke could count. Many of them he did not know. All of the Maesters were in attendance. Every member of the guard not on duty had come, most of them wearing full battle gear out of respect for their Second-in-Command. The teachers and elders of his Order, the temple priests -- even many of the dedicated and acolytes -- all stood in an arc behind the Maesters down the docks. Somewhere in the dead cold that was now his heart, Youke experienced surprise that so many would come to show their support to he and Auron. He'd had no idea the respect in which and his sister were held.

Maester Umaro insisted on performing the sending himself. At some point during the last four years, their relationship had changed. Youri's death had broken down the last wall of formality between the thirty-eight year old Maester and the young Warrior Monk whom he considered a protégé. "You are more than my subordinate, Youke. I consider you my friend," Umaro had said. "Give me the honor of your friendship in return. Let me be of help to you now."

Youke had accepted Umaro's offer and gone numbly about his duty. Duty was all he had. He had gone to Auron's room to explain to the lonely bewildered boy what he himself could not understand. Youri was gone from this world and with her had gone the true happiness of Youke's life. He had arranged for the coffins and flowers. He hand selected the burial shrouds. He had spared no expense in the memory of his sister and her child. Umaro and Farrel had instructed him to move from his quarters at the garrison back to the family home. He had done so without question. But Youke did these things as if he were someone else. He was dead inside. Broken. His best friend, Aurik, was gone. His twin was gone. His heart would ache for both forever; he knew it as sure as he drew breath. All Youke had left in the world was his faith in Yevon and the boy at his side -- the boy he had been arrogant enough to petition Yevon for in the first place. Had he known this might have been the price, he would not have paid it.

Umaro stood before Youke, his robes of office exchanged for the garb of Summoner. A breeze brushed over the small group and stirred the yellow, green, and orange petals of Umaro's robes. Youke's white kimono -- layered beneath a matching plain hakama and covered by a black haori embroidered with symbols of his order -- billowed out behind him, held to his body only by the elaborate white silk cording knot at his chest. Auron, dressed in similar fashion, was completely in white denoting him as chief mourner. As the sky began to turn shades of purple, orange and red, Umaro bent down to Auron and said, "It is time to say goodbye to your mother and sister."

Auron looked up at his uncle for permission. Youke nodded and released the child's hand. Tears coursed down the young boy's face, but he did not make a sound.

He's trying so hard to be strong, Youke thought. Is it for me?

Umaro laid a hand to Auron's head and guided him forward to the end of the pier. The boy pulled two deep purple hibiscuses from his obi. He carefully placed one on each coffin. "I will OK, mommy. Don't worry." Auron's high voice was clear and unquavering. "Uncle Youke says that the Farplane is a beautiful place. He's here to take care of me and I'll take care of him. I will visit you and sister one day in Guadosalam."

Youke could not control his reaction. A strangled cry escaped him and unshed tears welled in his eyes. Auron turned to look at the man who was the last of his family. It was almost more than Youke could stand.

Two guards stepped forward and pushed the coffins off the end of the pier. Maester Umaro raised his Summoner's staff before him and stepped onto the water. To young Auron's amazement, the Maester did not sink. As he walked away from the dock, swinging his staff in a circle around his head, Umaro's deep baritone began the Hymn of the Fayth. Youke stepped forward and clutched his nephew by the shoulders as he and the other monks in attendance joined their voices to that of the Maester. The sound rose in the air, filling the world with complex harmony. Youke found it comforting. Suddenly, a strong wind gust blew up and Auron's eyes spread wide. Keening pyreflies began to rise from coffins and formed a spiral around the Maester bearing him into the air on a pillar of water. Higher and higher Umaro ascended, his bird-like layered robes billowing out around his tall and slender frame. A sad look of ecstasy shone forth on his face beneath a halo of short golden hair.

Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over. As the pyreflies escaped upward into the setting sun, the final tone of the Hymn seemed to hang in the twilight. The water lowered the Maester and he returned to the dock to stand beside Youke. The three turned to face the gathered group behind them. One by one the group moved forward to perform the Sign of Prayer in respect to Youke and Auron as the last rays of light left the sky.

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Auron lay awake in his bed too tired to sleep. His uncle had tucked him in and kissed him awkwardly on the forehead as he had seen Youri do each night. It had made him miss his mother.

He could hear Shana and Youke in the other room. Every so often he made out his own name as the hushed voices rose and fell. Curiosity finally overcame him and Auron slipped from the warm bed and sat on the floor next to the door.

"Shana, what do I do? I told Aurik on the day of the boy's birth that I was not meant to live the life of a family man." Youke's voice was strained and low. "No one in all of Spira could be more ill-suited for this task than I. Leading men into battle and killing fiends: these are things I know. I have trained all of my life to be a warrior, not a father! I am lost in this!"

"Youke, you were always serious, even as a child," Shana sighed. "Do you think there is some manual for parenting or some method people are told? All of us are unprepared for the task of raising children. All of us stumble our way through. We do the best that we can, guessing as we go. I was a twenty-four year old widow when I came to this house in the service of your mother and father. I had never even held a child. And yet, in spite of my lack of experience, I managed to raise you and Youri when Yoshi died in childbirth. Do you think your father was less afraid to raise the two of you on his own than you are of raising Auron?"

Auron lay down flat and tried to see through the crack at the floor. The only view was of large black boots capped with metal and symbols of Yevon.

"I don't know, Shana. I have never had these kinds of feelings before. I feel so -- inadequate! So unprepared! It is disturbing, this lack of control."

Shana chuckled. Auron squinted and could see a set of slippers come toe to toe with the large boots.

"Oh, my boy, that is the lesson you have always avoided. You cannot control everything in this life, Youke. And now, Yevon, in his wisdom, has handed you this task. I know why you have shunned romantic attachments all these years. You fear love. You fear dependence. You are afraid to trust. I think, sometimes, you blame yourself for your mother's death and that it drives your devotion to the Order. And now, here is this boy without a mother. You look at him and see yourself. But you cannot let your fear and the ghosts of the past win this fight. Auron will depend on you now. He will look to you for the love he lacks. The question is; will you have the courage to face yourself and give him what he needs?"

Auron heard his uncle sob. It was a terrible sound. He saw through the crack as the man fell to his knees on the floor, bearing his weight forward on his hands. Tears splashed on the dry stone tiles. Suddenly, Auron felt ashamed and conflicted. Somewhere in his heart he realized that his uncle would not have wanted him to see this; that he was listening to something he was not meant to hear. Auron longed to open the door and run to his uncle. He wanted to comfort him. He wanted comfort. It was more emotion than a small four and a half year old child could bear. Finally, Auron jerked open the door and flung himself in a little ball at the man huddled on the floor.

"Uncle Youke! Please, don't cry!" Words seemed to tumble from the boy's mouth. His small arms circled Youke's neck in a vice-like grip. "You told me everything would be all right, and I believe you, but it hurts so much!" The boy buried his face into his uncle's chest and sobbed. "I love you!"

Shana's hand raised unbidden to cover her mouth. Silent tears gathered in her eyes. Auron looked so much like Youke. There on the floor before her the two held each other and finally shared their loss. Youke stroked the soft ebony hair of his nephew and murmured words of comfort to the boy. Though it was terrible and sad, Shana saw beauty in the love she knew was growing before her eyes. Somehow, she just knew in that moment that both of them would be fine. It would take time, but they would heal. She would heal. Life would continue on.