Hawkeye and Linda strolled in, him with his arm around her and barely disguising how much he wanted to see what was under her dark green towel.
"Hey Beej, I thought you were going to sleep," he said, plopping down on his bed.
"I got to my bed and my body decided to play a cruel trick on me: I'm not tired anymore."
"Isn't that the way it always works out?" Linda said, laughing and sitting on Hawkeye's bed next to him. "Maybe since you're too tired to sleep, you'll want to stay up and chat with us for a while."
"Sure, I always have time for you," I said, smiling at her. She smiled back.
"Ditto," she replied.
"Hey Beej, can Linda borrow your robe?"
I looked at him questioningly.
"He promised to lend me his robe in exchange for my company," Linda said, answering my inquisitive glance.
"I have a company of my own, but sometimes you need a change," he said. "Can she borrow it?"
"My robe?" I asked, still thrown by the request.
"Yeah, Beej," he said, snickering. "I'm not allowed to take mine off unless we're married which we won't be for at least a week. Toss it over."
I searched on the ground for a second, picked up the blue fabric, and threw it to Linda. She caught it and in one fluid motion slipped it over her body while she took the towel out from underneath and wrapped it around her hair like a turban.
"Thanks BJ," she said, grinning at me. "I promise I'll have it back for you soon. You won't even know it's gone."
"It's no problem, keep it as long as you need," I said, shifting uncomfortably. Seeing Linda in my robe and, above all, having it happen to me in such a flash threw me for a loop to say the least. The light blue fabric against her pale skin unsettled me in a way that I hadn't expected it to. "If you'll excuse me," I said rather forcefully. "I'm going to go take a walk." I stood up and quickly made for the door. "Maybe that will help me unwind so I can get a little shut-eye."
"Well, we'll see you later," Hawkeye said with a smug look on his face that could only mean that he was glad I was leaving so he could be alone with Linda.
"Your robe will be on your bed when you get back," Linda said softly, probably sensing that something was wrong. "I really do appreciate your letting me use it."
"It's no problem," I said sharply, then left.
I trudged towards the helicopter pad and walked around it a few times before making my way towards the hills behind the camp. I didn't have anything in mind, any particular destination; I just needed to not be in the tent when Hawkeye and Linda were there.
Something about the two of them laughing and talking about their days in Boston just reminded me that I was on the outside looking in. And something about the way Hawkeye would brush her shoulder with his hand or how she would playfully push him drove me close to my breaking point. Something was happening between the two of them and it seemed everyone knew it. The whispers of the soldiers in line for dinner, the tittering of the nurses in the scrub room, and the less-than-discreet jokes from the other doctors all added to my discomfort when I saw the two of them together.
I shook my head and sighed. It wasn't my business, just like every other nurse that had passed through Hawkeye's side of the tent was not something I asked about.
But Linda wasn't just another nurse.
When I came back from my walk, Linda and Hawkeye were nowhere to be found but my robe was folded neatly on my bed. Reaching to brush it onto the floor, I noticed a small piece of paper in the pocket. I took it out, opened it and read.
BJ,
If there's anything you want to talk about, I hope you know that I am always here for you. Anytime, anyday, anywhere.
-Linda
I knew she had seen through my discontent, and the gesture warmed my heart. However, I crumpled up the note and threw it on the floor quickly followed by my robe. I slumped onto my bed and drifted off to sleep, one question looming in my head as I dozed off: How could I confide in her when she was part of the problem?
