"Is BJ always like this?" I asked Hawkeye as we strolled around the compound. "He seems sad a lot. More so than anyone else I've met here so far."
The way BJ had left the tent had worried me. I had only known him for a short time, but after he had confided in me and me in him, I already felt like he was one of my best friends.
"He is sad," Hawkeye replied looking off into the distance. "He has so much to live for at home and he's all the way over here. Just like the rest of us."
"Speak for yourself," I replied. "I have nothing back there. Just a lot of empty apartments and bad memories."
"You never found anyone after you left Boston?" Hawkeye asked. "I find it hard to believe that a girl like you could stay single for very long."
"I found someone for a while," I said, quietly. "Mark Hoffner." Even saying his name was hard for me. The words choked me and I had to force them through my lips.
"A doctor?"
I nodded. "A pediatrician." Hawkeye looked at me, a big smile on his face. "I know, I know, I have a weakness for doctors. Something about stethoscopes and rectal thermometers drive me wild." He laughed. "I met him at this clinic where he was guest lecturing. There was something about him. I have always been shy, but I just walked up to him, stuck my hand out, and said, 'My name is Linda.' He smiled this big, dashing smile and said, 'Mine is Mark.'
"We started seeing each other to talk about business, but that quickly became the last thing on our minds. We had everything in common: we liked the same music, ate the same food, it was all so right, you know?"
Hawkeye nodded. "So what happened between you two?"
I sighed. "We were so in love. Every time I was away from him I felt like I was being torn apart. But I was working so hard at the hospital and he was at his clinic and lecturing. But he would always find time to call me from the clinic in between screaming patients and screaming doctors and quickly tell me that he loved me before he had to go back to work."
I smiled despite myself, thinking back on the good days with Mark. "Then, one day, we were walking down in a park by my house and he told me that he was going back to South Dakota. After that, he just dropped down to one knee and proposed, right there in the middle of the park."
"Is that why you left Boston?"
"Yeah. I wanted to be close to Mark." I turned to him. "You can't even imagine how hard it was to leave, Hawk. I loved you and Trapper and the whole staff at that crazy hospital. I didn't even say goodbye to most of them."
"I remember. You took me and Trap aside and just said, 'I'm leaving tonight for South Dakota.' You didn't even tell us when. We had to follow you to the train station."
"I hated you for following me, but I loved you at the same time. I didn't want to have to see your faces as I left, but I loved that you two cared enough to actually tail me."
"And then you were gone, just like that." He sighed and sat on a nearby oil drum.
"If I were to do it all over again, trust me I would have stayed in Boston." I leaned against a telephone pole. "But, I was young and in love."
"It happens to all of us," he replied. "So, what happened after you moved to South Dakota?"
"It was blissful for a while. But it was hard to find time to be together. I started working again at a hospital in Mobridge and he was working at a hospital across town. We rarely got to see each other. Still, he'd leave me little notes on the door or in my lunch box with 'I love you' written on them.
"Then he became distant. He stopped leaving notes, he'd spend even more time at the hospital than he did before, and the whole time I would sit in our apartment and wait for him to come home."
Hawkeye looked worried. "I guess your fairy tale was not as 'Happily Ever After' as you hoped it would be."
"Not quite," I said. "Especially when I found out that he was cheating on me."
"Oh no," Hawkeye replied quietly.
"Yup. Apparently, Mark wasn't the only one in the relationship with an attraction to doctors."
"How did you find out?"
"I was making a quick stop at home because I had forgotten my ID card for the hospital. When I was rustling in my purse for my keys, I looked up and saw a woman slip something under the door, turn, and walk away without seeing me. I rushed over, opened the letter and read. It was a thank you note for a lovely evening in a remote room in their hospital and it was signed, 'With all my heart, Maureen.'"
"Oh, Linda..." Hawkeye said, putting his hand on mine. "That's got to be rough."
Tears began to well up in my eyes. "I just asked him that night and he told me everything. She was a doctor at his hospital and he had been seeing her for months behind my back. All I could do was pack what I could and catch the next train back to Boston.
"I got another apartment and tried to settle down, but too many things about that place reminded me of what I lost. So I packed up again and moved to California. But no amount of moving could wipe my mind clear of all I had been through. So, I cut all my ties and enlisted in the army.
"I decided that the army would cleanse me of my former life, make me another face in the crowd, another person wearing the same clothes as everyone else. I guess I needed the anonymity, but that all went out the door when I saw you here."
"And is that good or bad?" he asked, a sly smile on his face.
I leaned in close to him. "It's very good."
In the distance, a jeep honked.
