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I awoke to voices growing louder as they headed towards the swamp. I looked at the clock and realized that it was almost time to being the game. Rubbing sleep from my eyes, I quickly sat up and yawned just as Hawkeye entered the tent.
"Someone is excited for the game," he said, laughing as he flounced through the door.
"I can hardly contain my enthusiasm," I replied, sure that everyone was noting the drowsiness in my voice. Somehow, my nap managed to make me more tired than I was before.
"Well, brace yourself," Linda said. "We have a great group assembled."
Hawkeye set up the table while I added the fixings for another batch of gin.
"Who wants one?" I asked. Hands shot up around me and I realized that I had to get out the extra set of glasses.
"Just a tiny one for me," Linda said. "I have duty later."
"You got it," I replied, pouring her half a glass.
"Well," Hawkeye said, rubbing his hands together and staring at the table. "Are you all ready to lose spectacularly to the king of all things poker?"
"And that would be...?" Linda asked sarcastically.
"Of course the regal looking man standing gallantly before you, waiting to aid you in lightening your purse."
"Not only is he the king of poker, but lord of modesty as well," she answered, taking a seat at the table. Radar, Klinger and Sydney soon followed.
"He may be a tad overzealous but he's a damn good poker player," I said, handing her a glass. "You'd better be careful."
"I am and you should," Hawkeye replied, grabbing for his glass. "Especially you, Linda."
"Why me?"
Klinger took it upon himself to begin dealing cards, starting with five card draw.
"Because when it comes to playing poker with me, women are no match."
"No match for what?" Linda said, taking her cards off the table.
"For me," he said, matter-of-factly.
I laughed. "Easy, Hawk or you may just get a fist full of femme in your face."
"If only," he said, batting his eyes towards Linda.
"It'll be more like your pride on a skillet," Sydney said, throwing a blue chip into the pot.
"That will never happen, Sydney, because I am the master of reading women. No one has been or no one will be better at understanding women than me."
"Oh really," Linda asked, eyebrows rising in question. She turned to me and I knew exactly what she was thinking: If he is so good at reading people how come he has no idea that Linda has been in love with him for so long?
"Absolutely. I can read their thoughts before they even know they're thinking them.
"Well, what am I thinking now?" She leaned her elbow on the table and stared Hawkeye down.
"You're thinking about how much you're gonna miss your money," he said without missing a beat.
"Not quite," she replied, picking up her cards. "I was thinking about how much you'll miss yours."
She stole a look at me and winked. I smiled back and picked up my cards. And it began, the poker game, one of many, that never seemed to end. The cards flashed by between bouts of gossip and laughter. The hands weren't significant and the money didn't matter, only the company. Our poker games were a reminder of better times, of simplicity, where a wrong decision would cost you a few dollars rather than a life. We drank gin, lost most of our money, and talked about anything but the war.
"So, tell us about yourself, Linda," Sydney said, watching me toss out his cards as I dealt. All eyes snapped to Linda and she giggled at the sudden attention.
"Well, looks like I'm on," she said. I smiled and turned to Hawkeye whose tongue was practically drooping out of his gaping mouth. "There's very little to tell, believe me," Linda continued. "I don't have the same psychological problems as the rest of the camp."
"…yet," I added. Sydney nodded as he picked up his cards.
"This place may be the home of every type of neuroses imaginable, but it is certainly the place to go when you need to put a little life back in your life."
"That's what our patients say too," Klinger said, picking up his cards. He winced. "Why is it every time BJ deals I get hands that make me want to cry?"
"I have no problem with your dealing, BJ," Linda said. "I'd let you take a gander at my hand, but you might faint."
"She's gotta be bluffing," Radar said, staring intensely at his cards.
"Then why do I detect that worry in your voice?" she said sweetly.
"How's this for worried?" Hawkeye said as he threw in a blue chip. "I'll open for ten."
"I sneer at your ten and raise it to twenty," Linda replied, smiling smugly.
"I cower at your twenty and fold," Klinger said throwing his cards down and jumped up out of his chair.
"I will commit suicide and call the twenty," Sydney said.
"I'm in too," Radar replied.
"And I fold, but with dignity," I replied, throwing my cards down.
"Before the real betting starts," Klinger said from the still, "Does anyone want another drink?"
"I'd like one," I replied. "Linda?"
"No thanks, I have to keep my wits about me."
"Here's to your wits," Hawkeye said, still intense about the game. "Give me one card."
I set down one in front of him. "Linda?"
"What you dealt to me before was just fine, BJ," she chimed, obviously excited about her cards.
"Give me two," Sydney said.
"One for me," Radar said.
"I'll bet fifty," Hawkeye barked.
"Fifty?" Linda replied, looking at her cards again. "I dunno, Hawk. Are you willing to lose all that money to me? A mere woman?"
"Come on, do you call or not?" he replied, noticeably antsy.
"What, no more reading my mind?" she said, laughing.
"Come on, what'll it be?"
"I don't think I'll call," she said, looking at me and winking. "I think I'll raise it to seventy-five."
"Too rich for me," Sydney said.
"Yeah, I think I'd like to keep my money," Radar said, and set his cards down.
"What do you say, Hawk?" I asked.
His eyes darted from one place to the other. He looked intently at his cards, then to Linda, then to his cards, then the pile of chips on the table, then to his own pile, then to his cards again. You could almost hear the wheels in his head turning as he tried to size her up. But she just sat there, hands folded delicately above her hand and smiling warmly at Hawkeye.
"You'd better have a royal flush," Hawkeye said, and threw his cards down.
"The pot goes to you, Linda," I said. A satisfied smile spread across her face as she reached across the table and scooped her winnings towards her.
"So what did you have?" Radar asked.
"Here, let BJ tell you," she said, and gave the cards to me. I looked over them and could hardly believe my eyes.
"You didn't have anything!" I yelled.
Hawkeye looked defeated. "You've got to be kidding me."
"He's not." Linda said and turned to him. "I'm so sorry, Hawkeye. I didn't want to do it, but I had to go for it. Just to see if I could bluff out the big boys."
"I'm not upset, Linda. I'm damn impressed," he replied.
"So am I," Klinger said coming from behind her. "You never even flinched."
"Well, it's like my old drama teacher used to say, 'If you believe it, they'll believe it.' I just figured if I believed I had a great hand then you guys would."
"Well, we certainly believed it," Sydney said, awed by her performance.
"Thank you," she said jovially. "But now that you know my little secret, I guess I'll tuck in for the night. Can you cash me out, BJ?"
Sounds of objections came from the mouths of everyone in the room: "Come on, you can't go." "We've only just begun." "Stay for a little longer." "Have another drink."
"Sorry boys, but I have to take this money home, put it in a safe place, and then go to sleep. All this excitement has burned me out."
I took her chips and gave her all her money. "You've got about two-hundred and fifty dollars there, Linda," I said, handing her the cash.
"Not too shabby for only starting with sixty-five," she said, slipping her money into her jacket pocket.
"Not too shabby at all," I replied.
She stood up and moved towards the door. "Goodnight, boys. See you tomorrow."
"Goodnight Linda," we all said.
She smiled and left the room.
The tent was silent for a moment while we all gaped in wonder at each other. Then, suddenly, we all erupted into a peal of laughter.
"She totally took me!" Klinger choked out through breaks in his raucous chortling.
"Me too!" Radar said. "I had a pair of nines the whole time. I could have beaten her."
"What a poker face," Sydney said.
We all calmed down a bit and Klinger shuffled the deck.
"Well, I guess my comment backfired on me," Hawkeye said after a bit, noticeably embarrassed.
"It backfired on you then it hit you over the head with a frying pan," Sydney replied.
Suddenly, Radar's head jerked up and he looked towards the top of the tent.
"Uh oh," he murmured.
"Speaking of backfiring," I sighed. Klinger dropped the cards and we all got up from the table. Slowly, the sounds of helicopters began to float through the midnight air. The noise got louder and louder as the commotion in the compound also increased. One by one, we filed out of the tent and looked to the sky.
"Looks like the game is over," Sydney said. "Same time next week?"
"We'd better wait and see," Hawkeye replied. "This deluge may not be over by then."
