A/N: Thanks so much for all my reviews. Sarah, I love you and your long reviews. Seriously, it's so awesome to know that I'm getting the emotion across to people who read this. Hope I can keep it up.

Chapter 5

Sora walked on the path back to the beach stiffly. There was none of the common spring left in his long strides. It was as if he had been changed entirely back there. As if he was a different person. And maybe.. maybe he was a different person. He was still basically the same, following the instinct to help other in need. Except... now, he wasn't so sure if helping was the right thing to do.

How could he say goodbye?

He ran through the scene over and over in his mind, rehearsing what he was going to say. The words never sounded right though. They sounds that came out of his mouth were always wrong. Maybe he just had to think about it more. Maybe the goodbye would just appear, fully written in him mind.

Of course he knew it wouldn't. This whole situation was wrong. There was no way to say goodbye to your best friends, to your...boyfriend?

'No,' Sora firmly told himself, 'Don't think about that. Don't think about Riku. You won't be able to say goodbye then.'

Here, he ran in to a problem. By trying to avoid the thought, he had thought it. He had allowed himself to bring Riku in to this again. Immediately, he could feel his resolve to leave shattering. He tried to remind himself of the situation. He was going partly to help Roxas, and mostly because he had to. He had to go because by risking being with Riku, he was messing with destiny. It was Kairi, and not the other boy, that he was meant to love. If he left the island for awhile, Riku would hate him and stop caring about him like that. Then when he came back, they could start over. He could be with Kairi. He was supposed to be with Kairi. Not Riku.

He was going so he could fix his destiny. He was going so he wouldn't hurt Kairi.

'What about Riku though?'

Sora glared at the dirt under his feet, kicking a rock angrily. With every step, he kicked the rock further ahead of him, repeating his thoughts.

"Don't."

Kick.

"Think. About."

Step. Kick.

"Riku."

Kick

The rock flew up in the air in a high, graceful arch. It sailed through the opening of the trees, hitting the shadowed figure that had just appeared there in the head with a dull thud.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

Riku stepped out of the cover of the trees, rubbing his injured head gingerly, a grimace on his face.

Startled and thinking vividly about how creepy and coincidental it was that the boy he had just been thinking about had appeared, Sora just blinked. It took his several seconds before he realized what had happened. He hands flew up to his mouth uncontrollably.

"Are you okay, Riku?"

At least he was still standing. He wasn't going to faint, he didn't have a concussion. That was a good thing.

"Yeah..." Riku winced in pain, his hand still massaging the side of his head. "That just really hurt. I come to see you and I get rocks thrown at me."

Sora rushed toward him, then stopped abruptly less then a foot away from the boy. Should he hug him? No... destiny, remember? Coming in contact with Riku would ruin everything he was planning.

"I-is there anything I can do? I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I was just kicking that rock and you got in the way and I'm sorry."

He listened to himself babble, disgusted. What was wrong with him? Since when did he babble like that? Never.

Riku held up a hand to stop Sora's words.

"Hey. It's okay. Don't worry about it."

He took a step forward, encircling the younger boy with both his arms. Gently, he kissed his forehead, causing Sora to look up, their eyes meeting. Instantly, Sora melted, snaking his arms around Riku's waist without hesitating. Everything on his mind rushed away, forgotten. All that was left was Riku, Riku and his arms, his lips – so full and inviting. It was as if a simple touch had hypnotized him. Had he ever really considered leaving? That seemed like centuries ago. Small and insignificant. Like a faint memory from his child that had no effect on him any more.

"Can I kiss it better?"

The words flowed from his mouth innocently, a mischievous grin reaching up to his eyes.

Riku, mirroring the look on his face, nodded.

Sora tenderly pressed his lips to the silver hair, then kissed Riku gently on the lips. It was Riku who broke them apart, stepping away, taking on of Sora's hands in his own.

"Sora... I came looking for you , you know that?"

Sora shook his head, his lips still on fire, screaming for more.

"I did. You've been gone so long, I was starting to worry about you."

A blink. Had he really been gone long? No, he didn't think so. Half an hour, at most. Still, it was sweet of Riku to come searching for him.

"And..." Uncertainty passed on Riku's face. "What you said on the beach? About me having to give you space and all... "

No longer was Riku the strong, independent man Sora had become accustomed to. He was almost shivering with worry. His hand holding Sora's so tight it was almost painful. He didn't want to let go.

"I just meant in front of Kairi. I don't want her knowing. I'm really sorry if you thought I meant something else. I just don't think we're ready to tell Kairi yet."

'Besides, this isn't right, Riku. You know that.' He finished the sentence off silently. Then, to fill the silence around them, he spoke aloud.

"You want to go for a walk or something? Just standing around is boring."

Riku nodded, taking the lead, pulling the younger boy toward the beach, away from the privacy of the forest. Sora was surprised to see that the blue of the sky was a deeper colour then when he had left. The soft blue was in transition with a navy colour. Had he really been gone that long? He had thought it wasn't even an hour, but from the looks of it, it had been at least an hour and a half, two hours tops. He was aware for the first time of that fact that his, as well as Riku's hair had dried. They really had been out of the water for a while. Obviously, he had lost track of time.

Riku pulled him along by the hand on to the sand, then let his go,

"Let's sit here."

"Okay." Doing as he was told, he sat, leaning his head on Riku's shoulder. He was still aware of a small awkwardness between them. They weren't really used to the intimacy that had begun in the last day or so. Shyly, Riku held him around the waist.

Neither said anything for several minutes.

"Sora?"

Sora made a soft sound of recognition.

"I'm really sorry if I freaked you out or anything last night. I just... I couldn't take it any more, I guess. It felt like I'd spent all this time wondering. Wasted all that time. And if I didn't do anything about it I would go crazy from not knowing. It just sort of happened. I was so worried you would hate me. And when you left all of a sudden like that on the beach.. I really did think you didn't like me like that. I was scared 'cause... never mind. It's stupid."

"No," Sora whined in to Riku's shoulder. "You can tell me. I probably won't laugh much."

Feigning insultment, Riku pushed him away, catching him off guard and causing him to fall sideways on to the sand. Riku pulled himself over Sora, planting one arm on either side of his head for support. His long hair hung down, ticking Sora's nose slightly.

"You really wanna know? I was scared because, now that I might have you, I don't want to lose you."

Insecure Riku, meet Sora. Here was Riku, showing his feelings openly. Here was Riku, admitting that he needed him. Part of Sora was overfilling with warmth, his heart wanted to burst. Riku felt the same way he did. It hadn't been a dream, hadn't just been a game. Riku wasn't just messing around with him.

Then, to ruin the moment, the rest of the day came back to him. Destiny whispered a warning in his ear. If Riku felt the same then he had to go with Roxas. If they stayed together it would only ruin everything they had before. He had to leave the island, for Kairi. Before he found himself to deep in to this relationship to get out. He would only get hurt more.

He knew if he didn't do it now, he never would. He opened his mouth to explain, ready to push Riku off him.

His blue eyes took in Riku's blushing, embarrassed face. The boy was simply radiating happiness. His green eyes reflected Sora. Riku was as close to being in heaven as a mortal could get before he died.

Yet Sora was about to shatter that world.

He sucked in air... steadied his breathing...

"I need you to, Riku. I would never leave you." His soft, small hand found it's way to Riku's cheek, magnetizing the boy toward him, their lips meeting once again.

This time Sora recognized the passion in the affection, but couldn't feel it. His whole body had gone numb.

What had just happened? Why had he not said what he needed to.

Instead of saying what he had to, he had said what he had felt. How could he leave now, after telling Riku that?

He knew he had to leave though. Roxas was counting on him to help, even if he hadn't said so out loud, exactly. He had just made things even worse, after all, he had already made up his mind. Roxas might even know that. They partially shared the same thoughts.

Destiny... not Riku, remember?

A tear rolled from his eye, making a course down the side of his face, hitting the sand soundlessly. He wiped it away fiercely, brushing against Riku's cheek in the process. The boy stopped kissing him, then rolled off of him in to the sand, frowning slightly.

"Sora...you're crying! Am I that bad of a kisser?"

Sora shook his head, forcing himself to stop crying. It seemed to work. He sniffled once then sat up, biting his lip. He shook his head.

"No... it's nothing. I'm just happy. That's all."

Mentally slapping himself as a reminder that he was leaving for their own good, Sora put on a weak smile. He couldn't keep lying to Riku. The whole thing was just so confusing. Even if he knew it was wrong, things just felt perfect while he was with Riku.

Who was Roxas to just wonder in on his life like that, accuse him of killing Axel, then ask him to pick up and leave his real friends behind? Now he was angry, but it didn't matter any more. Yes. Roxas was in need of a friend, of help. But asking him to leave Riku was too much.

Forget it.

Screw destiny, he was staying right here. On this beach, with this silver haired boy in need of a haircut.

'He hates me. He just doesn't want to show it...'

Riku was on the edge of insanity as he stared down at Sora. His facial expressions had changed dramatically. Only a second ago he had been crying, now he looked almost... angry.

He wished he could read minds. Sora displayed his emotions openly, but not what he was actually thinking. There was a huge difference. Just because one gesture looked a certain way didn't really always mean that that was the thought behind it.

He wondered if it was something he had done. Really, this wasn't a wide assumption. After all, he was alone on the beach with Sora. As in, there was no one else around. Had he scared him off with his confession? He hadn't meant to say so much, it had just come pouring out. He couldn't stop it any more then he could stop rain from falling. It was probably to much emotion, to fast, to soon for the boy. But... that didn't explain why he was angry...

Or sad. Unless he just didn't want to hurt Riku by rejecting him. Their first kiss had forced both of them in to an awkward situation. He knew Sora cared deeply about him as a friend. A romantic sense was an entirely different thing though.

He knew he loved Sora, although he would never tell him that. Not yet. Not until he was really certain about Sora's feelings. Telling him he loved him would just scare him away. This wasn't just an assumption, either. The intensity of his feelings was scaring himself. If he couldn't deal with it totally, how could one at the receiving end feel?

If he had said he was happy, then why did he look so angry?

He extended his hand toward Sora, helping him sit up. "You sure?"

Sora nodded slowly. "I'm fine. It's nothing. I was just thinking... never mind."

He shook his head, pleading with his eyes for Riku not to ask any more questions.

"Riku...?"

Sora's voice was like a child's' – innocent, soft and full of curiosity. The boys' gentle vocals was one of the numerous things that had always drawn Riku to him. A voice like that begged for you to protect it's innocence, to watch over it so it was never replaced by hardness. Should a harsh tone ever enter that voice, he knew it was serious. He loved that voice, and the boy that belonged to it. He knew he would give his life if it meant that the words formed by Sora's lips stayed carefree and gentle.

"Riku, do you believe in destiny?"

His worlds were spaced apart, as if he couldn't quite decide how to word his thoughts.

Riku looked at him, musing at the spontaneity of the question. He had so many feelings about that particular inquiry that he didn't know how to answer it properly. The truth was he did believe in destiny. He believed that one person was meant to be with another. That particular person was the only other that someone needed. Sadly, he doubted many people found that person. Their paths may cross, but they wouldn't understand the event until it was to late. Destiny ruined people as well as saving them. If you got to caught up in it, it would ruin your life. After all, you still had free will. Destiny was like fate. Destiny was what was meant to happen. But he knew that what was meant to take place didn't always. This was a depressing thought. He hated it passionately, but there it was. There was his belief.

He nodded to Sora affirmatively, reluctant to place his negative views in Sora's young mind. Protecting him.

"What if you don't like your destiny?"

Riku's soft green eyes swirled with confusion. What was Sora getting at?

Oh no! What if he was trying to tell him that what they had now was wrong? How could he think that? How could he even suggest it? He needed Sora! Sora, the only one who understood him...

'Calm down. You're getting ahead of yourself.'

He bit his lip as a reminder.

"It's still destiny, isn't it? How do you know you won't be happy with what happens in the end? If something looks bad right now, that doesn't show how it will look in the future. Just because something feels wrong doesn't mean it always will. It's your destiny for a reason. Things work out in the end."

He blinked. That was an oddly optimistic outlook from him. Okay...so he was just saying that because he needed to convince Sora that what they had wasn't a bad thing.

Of course... Sora had to know that, right? If Sora didn't want to be here, he wouldn't. Sora was sensitive, aware of other people's hearts, but he wasn't a push-over. If he really didn't want something, he would speak up. Sora was in control of his life, even if it sometimes seemed to him like he wasn't. Sora would have pushed him away if he had wanted to.

Dimly, Riku became aware of the fact that he was fidgeting nervously with Sora's small hand. He stopped, pulling it toward him and kissing it gently. A pale pink colour flushed in Sora's cheeks as he did so, cause Riku to break in to a grin of delight. The boy was just so nearly unbearably cute.

How could he not have fallen in love? He was powerless against Sora. Always had been.

"Just follow your heart, lover. "

He leaned over and kissed him briefly before pulling away.

To Riku, it felt like they were the only two one the island, even with Kairi off on her own somewhere. Their eyes meant and that familiar communication flared up between them. Never had they needed words to speak to each other. Their eyes said everything that was needed.

And right now Sora's sapphire eyes told him that he would do just that.

A/N: It's so hot out right now that it's pretty much impossible to think properly during that day. That means I have to write mostly at night. I've stopped staying up super late though because I realized I actually like morning. I know, wow... So because of this, updates may start to take al little while longer. But I promise you, I will make sure I end this someday, so please, PLEASE don't lose interest or anything like that. (Yes, I know, paranoia...)It's become my project. I am attached to it and won't let myself not finish it. Thank you so much for reading, again.