Disclaimer: I no own this...sadly. -cries-
Title: Clear Reason
Catagory: Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII
Genres: General, makeshift/wannabe angst, waff/fluff, MAJOR SPOILER ALERT (beware of it, yo.)
Rating: K+ (T, maybe? ...Nah. But I'll leave that judging up to you)
Notes: As I said, a spoiler. Set between scenes. Sometime after Shelke see's Lucrecia's memory, and her own, but before the next. And...this may probably seem one-sided like in some situations, but you'd have to play the game to really understand what all's going on if you haven't. Spoilers on wikipedia/gamefaqs, ect, don't say much about it so don't rely on those. If you read this anyway, despite not knowing the game/series, feel free to email/pm me questions about certain things in it and I will try my best to explain why... But yeah. ' Oh, and the title is inspired by the game, too. Zvet means 'colours' in Russian, and, all of the Tsviet members all have names according to their colour...except for said Shelke. Shelke's name is an urdu word for 'orange', a play on her amber coloured eyes when she's using her ability. Shelke also has no real, colour and her title in the Tsviets is "Shelke the Transparent", thus the title. You'll see what I mean for the other part of it. So...yeah.
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'Why am I doing this? It does not matter if I live or die, but...'
A small, petite sized girl, with short brown hair and dark blue eyes, thought. She was sitting inside of what appeared to be a bubble, but ever so often, the 'bubble' would crack a little. Mass darkness surrounded it. The girl looked no more than 9 or 10 years old, but her eyes, the dulled, heavy look in the girl's eyes said otherwise.
Her name was Shelke. She had been a member of the Deepground Soldiers, one of the highest ranking ones, an Elite, a Tsviet. However... Her skills were no longer needed and her execution was ordered. Her sister, Shalua had saved her, putting herself between her and her fate and suffered instead.
'Such a fool...' She thought quietly.
She had never been around anyone friendly, never had been looked at equally or with respect, and never really seemed needed. Her specialty that made her valuble to the Deepground was that she could Dive into networks, talk with them, and upload it's information into her own mind. She could also do that to people, and their mind's own network. Though that posed a great risk to her sanity and others.
When she had found and located Vincent Valentine for the Tsviets and Deepground, she was told she was no longer needed. Azul the Cerulean, another member of the elite Tsviets, said she was ordered to be elimiated. He tried to kill her, but she shielded and her sister grabbed her and stopped the doors from shutting with her mechcanical hand and shoved her through.
Lately, because of her Synaptic Net Dive and uploading Dr. Lucrecia Crescent's reports into her mind, she had also inadverdantly downloaded part of her mnemonic conscience. Those thoughts, and feelings would float around and defragment inside of her mind, sometimes leaving her to say and act as she would.
And her...feelings.
Yes, she had feelings. Though ten long years had gone by and she had stuffed them all into a small space and tried to ignore them, they were still existent. Her feelings sometimes entertwined with that of Dr. Crescent's.
'Why did I do such a foolish thing...' Her head lifted slowly, to gaze out at the darkness blankly. "Vincent Valentine..." She muttered quietly to no one. Behind her, and unnoticed, another crack formed. Nero the Sable, another member of the Tsviets had come to collect more Lifestream and Souls for Weiss the Immaculate and Omega.
She had never, ever been depended on before. So when Vincent, Reeve, and Cid all said they were counting on her... Her eyes slid closed a little. Cid had been piloting The Shera and suddenly found that there was no response from the engine room. Having come onto the bridge from the medical lab, where she had finished doing her Net Dive and had finished...speaking for Lucrecia, she looked up to ask what was wrong.
He told her there was no response from the engine room and that it's percentage rate dropped a whole lot. Reeve's words echoed quietly in her mind about counting on her to look after everyone and the Airship. Not wanting to let him down, she said she would go. The blond man grinned widely at her and offered his thanks and replied that he was counting on her.
Surprised again, she nodded a little and ran as fast as her mako-induced body would allow her and came to see the place on fire, with dark splotches everywhere.
Nero had stepped out. They spoke, and Shelke slowly drew her weapons, two EM Sabres. He asked her what she thought she was doing and she replied that she didn't really know. But if there was something she knew from being there, it was that she didn't want to let anyone who was counting on her down.
They fought, but Nero used his power to suck her into his darkness. Instead of being crushed and destroyed, she used her Shield Materia around herself and sat down in it, unwilling to give in just yet.
She did not know how long she had been in there, but sometime, Vincent Valentine had started to become sucked in, and Chaos was trying to take control. Something stirred around inside of her and she spoke out to him, reaching out with her thoughts and mind. Her voice must have gotten through, for he calmed and surpressed Chaos inside of him and made his way out.
She could understand why Lucrecia had a tiresome time with him. Vincent, though older and changed, still had some things about him that were so...childish.
She could probably connect it to that he was still so young when everything happened, and remained unchanged. But... For someone who had saw and gone through so much, how could he possibly be still so naive and dense?
It made no sense.
But that was what had intrigued and interested Dr. Crescent. He was enigmatic, and she wanted to figure him out. Shelke, in some ways aside from Lucrecia's influence, wanted to understand, too.
He could be so insightful, meaningful, and deep. But the next moment be so off-track, so confused. He said many things to her that meant something, helped to stir those emotions inside of her again. But why couldn't he himself feel it?
He spoke words that made her realize things, his presense was comforting yet it sent a chill through her. There was so much darkness inside of him, but a light was radiant around him. He was misguided, perhaps, but she saw his intentions were clear. They were pure, good... His reason for them may not have been pure or good, but she knew he was searching for something.
'Redemption,' A voice echoed quietly inside of her mind. She shook her head to clear it. Lucrecia again. "Why would he want redemption, when there seems to be nothing wrong..." Her brows furrowed in thought.
She was silent for a long time. And unbeknowist to her, little by little, more of the Shield from her materia was cracking.
"He blames himself," She finally said outloud. Her eyes glowed an amber-ish orange for a moment. "Yes," She murmured, voice sounding different. "He blames himself for the things he could not prevent. He blames himself for not stopping me, for allowing Hojo to continue on, for being weak... He blames himself for things that he could not have stopped no matter what he did. It was my choice, it was me who should have interfered, but I..."
Shelke shook her head furiously, her eyes dying down again back to their sullen blue colour. "D-data...data interference." She hissed out.
'I'm so sorry.'
Shelke's eyes closed for a moment, as a few tears fell down. First she cried over her sister, over what she lost. She thought she had no tears left... Now she was crying again. For what reason, she was unsure. Was it for her own reasons? Was it Lucrecia? She didn't know anymore.
Was she...becomming Lucrecia?
No. She would not allow that.
But it was still there. Those thoughts, those feelings. The images of all that had happened. Her head dropped, and a few more tears fell down her face. She may have been speaking for Lucrecia at the time, but now she realized, she meant it, too.
"I don't want you to die." She said outloud.
She lost her family 10 years ago. She came and found her sister Shalua, only to have her taken away a little while afterwards. But her parting words...meant something. She was one with the lifestream, she was returning to the planet. She hadn't wanted her too...not when she was finally...
But she'd see her again, she vowed quietly. Just like her mother promised, and just like Shalua...
But she did not want to lose Vincent Valentine. Shalua aside, he seemed to be the only person who...cared, understood. They may have had different experiances, but he knew what she felt. Though she was unaware of it at the time, the emotions and pain locked away inside, he knew.
It wasn't just Lucrecia speaking through her when she said it, she meant it. From the bottom of her tainted, dark, hell-worn heart. She did not want to lose him. And he said he was counting on her. Though she could no longer speak to him now, she was silently hoping for him, trying to guide him with her spirit.
"I think... I think I've..." She started quietly.
Another, slightly louder crack sounded from her shield. She looked up at it. It was above her head. It went clear from the middle of it behind her all the way to the front. It would not be long...
She closed her eyes as she clutched the Materia tighter in her hand, the orb shining a little more as some of the cracks started to fade. She nodded a little to herself. 'Yes,' she admitted silently to herself.
A small smile rose up to her nearly dull features, her dark, mako blue eyes beginning to shine a little as she did, the burden from her eyes lifting a little. Perhaps now...perhaps now she found a piece of her own Redemption.
"Your reason to live was me, Shalua..." She murmured as she looked up out into the darkness that was surrounding her outside of the shield. "Now I've found my reason, too. I've found my reason to fight." Her eyes flashed amber again for a brief second. "Now I know why I'm doing this. My reason to fight is..."
Slowly, more cracks started dissappearing from the shield a bit more as her Materia glowed a little brighter still.
"Vincent Valentine."
TBC
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There's the first part. I will post up the next chapter some time later. Please review me if it was good, I'd really like to know how I did.
