Title: Marie on my Mind
Author: FeeferJ
Email: FeeferL at yahoo dot com or R just to be safe.
Summary: Response to the challenge issued on WRbeta. ;)
Series: Marie on my Mind
Category: Rogan Shipper Fic, Angst
Disclaimer: They aren't mine, but god do I wish they were. Sigh Please don't sue. I have no money.
Archive: Sure
Spoilers/Continuity: Talks about "The cure" but not neccassarily X-3 related ;). I take bits and pieces from Movieverse and Comicverse, and this is what you get.
Genre: Angsty goodness
Author's Notes: Thanks again to the wonderful and talented Jesse for putting up with me and keeping me from banging my head into a wall. The wall also appreciates this. And C, even tho she ships Romy, for encouraging feedback. ) I'll start posting on Sundays. Part one can be located at the following link: http/community. Represents a Dream or Nightmare Sequence
'Is unspoken thoughts'

Alone
by Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Rogue took a deep breath when she exited the taxi she'd taken from Xavier's, and paid the cabbie. With a tug on her gloves she began walking up the flight of marble steps in front of her. She tried, and failed, to erase the pang of guilt she felt as she stepped through the intimidating doors of The Institute of Genetic Fundamentals.

"Hello Anna," the impossibly cheerful receptionist greeted,"Dr. Agee will be ready for you shortly. Why don't you have a seat in the waiting room until he calls for you," she smiled. Rogue nodded silently at the overly perky woman behind the glass and made her way to the waiting room.

She sat herself in the chair nearest the lobby's entrance, and picked up the lone magazine lying on the table. She flipped through the latest issue of American Baby as she tried to squelch the anxiety clawing at her chest.

'I can do this,' she repeated to herself for what felt like the millionth time, 'what's a little bit of pain? It'll be worth it all in the end.'

"Anna?" The nurse called from the lobby's doorway, "Dr. Agee is ready for you now."

Rogue mentally braced herself, and followed the woman down the hallway with an agonizing sense of dread.

There were two things Rogue was aware of when she came to, the searing pain throughout her body, and the fact that she was strapped down. She gingerly tested the restraints, and felt the tears fall down her face when the pain intensified with her movements.

"Hello?" she called out weakly, "Is anyone there?"

She heard the sound of approaching footsteps and Dr. Agee was smiling down on her.

"Ah, Anna. You're awake. How do you feel?"

"Like I'm being burned alive doc. Why am I strapped down?" she forced her blurry vision into focus and concentrated on the doctor's face.

"Some patients thrash during the treatment, it is simply a precautionary measure." The Doctor smiled reassuringly as he released the straps.

"Can't say that I'm surprised," she sighed, "Is it supposed to hurt this much?"

"Everyone has a different experience, just think what you'll have once treatment is complete!" he enthused.

"Momma always said 'Nothing worth having comes easy'." Dr. Agee helped her off the table.

"Your mother sounds like an intelligent woman." Rogue was silent as they walked to the door and down the hallway.

"Christine took the liberty of calling a cab for you dear; we'll see you next week?" The doctor cast an expectant look at her.

"It's a date doc," she called as she exited the building.

Rogue descended the steps to the waiting cab and collapsed into the seat.

'I don't know how I'm gonna get through lunch with Logan,' she thought. She drifted to sleep in a sea of pain as the cab headed towards Westchester.

Rogue grabbed a tray from the cafeteria as she made her way to the table Logan was sitting at. When he caught sight of her he stood up and kicked her chair out for her.

"Hey darlin'." He greeted. Logan took in her tired appearance as she drew nearer.

"Hey," she said, trying to force the discomfort from her voice.

Logan went to pull her into a hug and she flinched back visibly. He gave her a questioning look, worry blossoming in his eyes as a familiar sterile smell assaulted his nose. Marie smelled like a fucking lab.

"Since when do you pull away from me kid?" Logan studied her searching for anything that would give him a clue as to what was wrong. "What's wrong with you Marie?" he questioned.

Rogue sat her tray down before maneuvering herself into the chair.

"Nothing's wrong Logan," she lied, "I just had a rough danger room session. I'm really sore, not all of us have a healing factor you know," she joked weakly.

Logan's nostrils flared slightly at the lie, and she felt her pulse race. After several seconds of scrutiny, he sat down at the table.

"Anymore questions sugar, or do I get a turn?" she teased trying to draw his attention away from studying her.

Logan leaned back in the chair and smirked while she bit into her sandwich.

"Depends on what you wanna ask me darlin'."

Rogue tilted her head to the side as she swallowed.

"You and Scooter find anything while you were gone?"

Logan's smirk disappeared to be replaced with cold seriousness.

"Yeah, yeah we did," he grunted. "We had some close calls, but we managed to get the job done."

"Close calls?"

"Nothing we couldn't handle kid. Had to call in a friend of mine to get us out of a jam, but we weren't in any real danger."

Marie grinned up at him, "Didn't realize you HAD friends sugar."

"Well," he smirked, "let's call him an associate. Gunn's a pretty good guy, his pirate fantasies are out of control though. You'd like him kid; I'll have to introduce you one day." Logan paused as he thought better of his statement, "Come to think of it, you wouldn't like him. Matter of fact, you'd probably hate him."

Rogue smiled as she lifted her glass. She'd been about to speak when one of the younger kids bumped into her. The pain that shot through her at the contact caused her to drop the glass, and she watched helplessly as it shattered on the tiled floor. The boy stammered an apology as Rogue bent to clean up the mess.

Her reaction didn't go unnoticed however, and Logan was quick to call her on it.

"What the fuck was that Marie?"

"I already told you Logan, I had a tough danger room session, that's all."

"Don't bullshit me girl, I know you better than that. You smell like a fucking lab!" Logan glared down at her, anger apparent in every line of his body.

Marie's own anger surfaced as her mind raced to come up with an excuse. She hadn't considered that he could smell the Institute on her, and she was paying for the oversight now.

"I went to see Hank OK, female problems." She glared defiantly up at him, challenging him to question her.

She was caught off guard when he grabbed her arm, and she winced as a piece of glass cut through the material of her glove and blood welled from the shallow cut. Logan released her arm as he caught scent of the blood. Marie looked down at her hand and watched in shocked horror as the cut healed.

"What is it Marie? How bad is it?" Logan made a move to grab her hand, but she whirled away from him clutching it to her chest.

Marie felt overwhelmed as fine tremors took over her body.

With a stammered, "I have to go," she raced from the room.

Logan stood feeling dumbfounded, and noticed for the first time that they'd had an audience.

"What the hell was that all about Logan? What did you SAY to her?" Scott rounded on him as he headed in the direction Rogue had run off.

"None of your fucking business One Eye," he growled out.

Cyclops sighed in exasperation. "Logan hear me out. She's obviously upset and going to her right now will only make things worse. Give her some time to calm down, and then you can go running after her. Alright?"

Logan grunted noncommittally and stalked out the door.

Back in her room, Rogue curled into a ball on her bed and allowed the wrenching sobs to overwhelm her. She fell into a fitful sleep, too exhausted to process everything that had just happened.