December 31st , 2004

So Ray had wrote Abby a song and put it on a CD. It was one of the most romantic things anyone had every done for Abby. She could feel herself falling fast for this man every time she put the CD in. She couldn't let herself fall in love...She could fall in like she reminded herself. But one thing she didn't like was going to the gynecologist. She had to make an appointment with Janet Coburn, even though she didn't want to. Janet was her boss at one time in career.

"Abby, come in." Janet waved her into her office. "It's a pleasure to see you. So, you're Dr. Lockhart now?"

"Hard to believe huh?" She chuckled.

"No. I knew you had potential." Janet said indicating the scale. "Up on that so we can get the easy stuff out of the way."

"Jee, thanks." Abby stepped up onto the scale and Janet looked at it.

"One thirty-five." She said. Abby moaned loudly.

"I gained two pounds the past two weeks." She said stepping off, "That's ridiculous."

"Not as ridiculous as wearing this gown." Janet handed her one and shut the curtain, "So, when was your last period?"

"It ended on the tenth of last month." Abby said as she thought about it, "I guess it's a little late."

"Have you had a lot of stress lately?" She asked. Abby laughed tying the gown up and opening the curtain.

"I have a new boyfriend so yes." She said as she climbed up to the table. "Okay please be gentle."

"I've warmed my hands up just for you." Janet said helping Abby put her feet in stirrups. "You should come more often. If you're sexually active, you need to be examined even if your job isn't pestering you to do this."

"I know." Abby sighed. "I swear I'll make another appointment soon."

"You better." Janet said looking up at Abby, "Are you ready?"

"Sure." Abby closed her eyes tightly as Janet began to examination. She groaned loudly. These things were never nice.

"When was the last time you had sex?" Janet asked. Abby blushed.

"This morning." She said, "It's Ray Barnett. He's a doctor in the ER." Janet nodded.

"He's a cutie." She said looking up at Abby, "Do you guys use protection?"

"Most of the time. I know it should be all of the time, but things happen." Abby said, "Why? Did I catch something?"

"You're a little swollen, Abby." Janet said pulling back and removing her gloves, "I'd like to do an ultrasound."

"Wh-Why?" Abby stuttered. She was going to start panicking. She knew what ultrasounds were used for. To check on a pregnancy and check on a cancer.

"I'm pretty sure you're pregnant." Janet said. All the air seemed to escape from Abby's lungs. That was impossible. She couldn't be pregnant. She was Abby. Things like this didn't happen to Abby...but unfortunately they did. Abby didn't notice Janet squirting the gel onto her stomach. She was in utter shock. "Abby look." Abby turned her eyes to the screen and sure enough, there was a tiny creature up on that screen.

"Crap..." She whispered.

"You're about five or six weeks along right now. I'd say you were due mid-august." Janet smiled, "Congratulations."

"Thanks." Abby stared at the screen. This wasn't happening. She wasn't pregnant. God wouldn't curse a child like that. "I...I need to go, Janet."

"Abby, is everything all right?" Janet asked. Abby wiped her stomach off and jumped off of the table.
"I think I'm going to be sick." She said pulling her jeans back on.
"Abby, Calm down. Everything will be just fine." Janet said.

"No it won't." Abby pulled her sweater on over the gown and rushed out of the office. She really was going to be sick. This was the news she had been expecting. She thought a quick exam and she could go back to work. Ray was going to go ballistic. Abby rushed into the elevator, slipping the gown out from beneath her sweater. She threw it in the corner. This was exactly how she felt last time she was pregnant. Confused. Scared. Angry. Worried, Ray wasn't Richard though. As the doors opened up she stalked out, "Where's Ray?"

"Ambulance bay." Jerry pointed. She had to do this now. She had to tell him what was going on and what she was going to do about it before she lost her nerve. Abby walked out into the ambulance bay and saw Ray just staring up into the sky.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hey you." Ray smirked, "Looking for snow."

"Check the ground." Abby walked up to him, "look, we need to talk."

"About what?" Ray asked her. Abby took in a deep breath. She had to do this or she never would.

"I'm pregnant." She said. Ray stared at her. His smirk never once faltered from his face.

"No seriously. What's up?" He asked.

"Seriously, I'm pregnant." Abby said. She watched Ray stumble back slightly as if the word pregnant was a cannon ball.

"Oh shit..." Ray took in a deep breath, trying not to hyperventilate.

"You don't have to worry, Ray. I'm not going to keep it." She said. Ray looked at her with even more shock upon his face.

"Excuse me?" He asked.

"I'm going to have an abortion." Abby said. "I know what is entails and we're not ready for a baby. I'm never going to be ready for a baby. There's too much going on in my family history to bring a baby into it."

"You're not having an abortion." Ray said, "I will not allow it." Abby cocked her head and glared at him.
"You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do." Abby said, "It's my body and it's my choice." Ray growled loudly. It sort of startled Abby.

"you're not going to pull that its my body its my choice shit!" He snapped, "It's my baby and I have a say it whether it lives or dies! I don't fucking care if this was an accident or not."

"Don't yell at me!" Abby yelled back. "I'm doing what I want!"

"Don't I have a say in this?" Ray asked, "you tell me your pregnant but you're going to have an abortion. I'm suppose to be a man and step up to my responsibilities. You're taking that away from me."

"Well, sorry. It's getting done. I just thought you should know." She turned and headed back into the hospital. Ray ran after her and grabbed her arm.

"Please don't, Abby." Ray said. Abby stared into his eyes. He looked terrified and sad. "I don't care if you want nothing to do with this. Give it up for adoption. Give it to me, but please don't have an abortion."

"You can't be serious. You want this baby? Weren't you the one who said they were ready for a serious relationship?" Abby asked, "A baby makes for a serious relationship."

"I know, but I would rather do that than see my child get killed. I was raised to step up to the plate, Abby." Ray said, "My father taught me to be a man if anything like this happened."

"You have to understand where I'm coming from, Ray. I'm not ready to be a mother." Abby said. "I don't know how to be a mother."

"No one does. It's a learning process." Ray said. Abby ran her hand through her hair.

"Tell me this doesn't freak you out." She said.

"Christ, it freaks the hell out of me, but I am going to be a man and take care of my family." He said.

"it's not that simple. This is a human life." Abby said.

"Abortion isn't that simple." Ray said, "It's not the way out. You need to consider my feelings too." Suddenly, Abby was very conscious that they were standing in the middle of the ER yelling at each other. Every one was staring at them.

"We should talk about this at home." Abby said. Ray shook his head.

"No. We're talking about this right now." He said, "Please take my feelings into consideration, Abby. I know we're not ready for a baby, but please wait and just think about this. Please." Abby stared at him and nodded.

"I'm six weeks along so I can't wait too long." She said. God, Her mother would love this.

"When are you due?" Ray asked.

"August 13th or around there." Abby said, "Ray, I really don't want to talk about this here. I don't want everyone up in my business. This is between the two of us, not the two of us and the ER." Ray nodded.

"Is the baby going to get hurt because of your needle prick?" Sure he didn't want the baby to die. He didn't want to baby to get hurt. All of this scared the crap out of him though. Abby grabbed his hand and pulled him to the lounge. He was going to be pissed off when he heard this one.

"There was no needle prick." Abby said.

"Of course there was." Ray said, "You're taking medication for it." Abby shook her head.

"Awhile ago I had a patient who needed these drugs. She couldn't afford the cocktail so I said I got stuck so she could have the medication." Abby explained.

"Are you frigging serious?" Ray said.

"It's something I had to do, Ray." Abby said.

"That's something I'd do, not you." Ray said with a gentle smirk. "We really do need to talk more about this baby thing, Abby." She nodded in agreement.

"I know we do, but not tonight. I'm so tired and drained out already." Abby said. "Let me get a good nights sleep and have a think about this. You don't need to wait around after your shift. Just give me some time." Ray nodded.

"Anything, Abby." He leaned over and kissed her forehead before he waked out of the lounge. Abby plopped down on the couch and stared at the floor. Abby wasn't in control of her life anymore. Those two little words sent it into a tizzy. Would being pregnant set off the bipolar that she knew was lurking deep in her genes? It wasn't fair to her or this baby. What kind of sick game was the higher power playing?