Adventures of Kelly Prescott:

I swear the world has gone insane. Like, officially this time.

I mean, I had a hunch there was something wrong when I found out I was a demon with supernatural powers, and that thing with that weird nuclear guy, whoever he was, and, oh yeah, when CEECEE WEBB stole my popularity! (Okay just calm down, Kelly, calm down… woo, sorry about that. She just makes me so mad!) But this? This made it official…

I don't know if you guessed that when I got to The Point there was no Ike Eelyu there. Yeah, you know who it really was?

Paris Hilton.

Ha! No, I'm joking, I'm joking. See, that was funny. I can be funny! I bet you didn't know that about me, did you?

Ha ha… Paris Hilton… I crack myself up…

Anyway, the person who was really at the point was soooo the last person I would ever expect to see there. I mean, if I actually had met Paris Hilton there then it would have made more sense than this. Because I don't actually know Paris, do I? For all I know she could totally give of the whole hired assassin vibe to her friends. She could be crouching in the shadows right now, loading a gun as waits silently for her unsuspecting victim to come within shooting range. I'm telling you, it could happen.

Yeah, but you know who I didn't expect to be the person I was going to hire to kill CeeCee Webb? Paul Slater, that's who! I mean, him of all people! It just didn't seem likely is all. I'm telling you though, if Brad Ackerman or someone suddenly reveals that he's some kind of mutant water nymph with the ability to shoot lasers out of his eyes, then I'll be ready for it. Oh yeah!

I think I handled the situation pretty well though, when I saw Paul I was all, "LIKE OMIGOSH PAUL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

And then he went, sounding soooo surprised, "Kelly? You called me? You want me to kill someone?"

"Totally!" I said, beaming at him. I was suddenly feeling a lot better about this. I mean, now I knew that Ike wasn't old or bald, he was Paul! And Paul was soooooo hot! "Oh my God Paul! I am sooooo glad it's you! I mean, I'm kind of disappointed that your name's not Ike, but I can deal." I beamed at him some more.

"Uh, right," Paul said, "That Ike Eelyu thing, that was a joke you know…"

"A joke?" I asked feeling totally baffled.

"Yeah, you know, Ike Eelyu… I kill you… get it?"

I thought about it. "Uuuummmmmmm……… Oh yeah! Ha ha! I kill you! I get it now. Ha." Oh my God! I couldn't believe how funny Paul was! And he was soooooo hot too! He was like perfect, or something. I sooooo couldn't wait until he was mine!

Paul gave me a weird look. "So… about this job?"

Oh, right. I'd almost forgotten about that – must be the prospect of so many dates with Paul, who I'd wanted to go out with for ages! Who cares if he was with the dumb Albino Chick, it said so in the advert, so he'd have to do it!

"Oh, yeah. I want you to dispose of C…" Right before I said it, I started to think, well, if I really had the power to decide who lived and who died, then whom should I kill? CeeCee, she's evil although I have bigger fish to fry, or those crazy cartoons of stuff like Barney or those crazy Tweenies? Or the makers of that Crazy Frog ringtone? Or maybe he could try and kill that Nuclear Guy, just to see whether or not he's really an invincible superhero-

No, wait, what am I thinking. Hello, brain? Planning on processing any information here? CeeCee STOLE MY POPULARITY and THAT is INEXCUSABLE! She MUST die!

"…CeeCee Webb," I finished, looking Paul right in the eye.

Paul's eyes widened like saucers. But, y'know, saucers without teacups on them, because that'd just be weird. "But-I-buh-idda-wabba-"

Hey… is he bilingual? Oh my God, Paul is SO hot. I LOVE him!

"Dude, CeeCee is my girlfriend."

"So?" I demanded. What did that matter? If he cheated on her with me, that was awesome. It'd show her she couldn't win everything, and that I still had the sex appeal and could happily get with a guy! And then when she saw such horrors, then she could die. It's like… torture or something.

"I don't go offing my girlfriends, I'm not that low!" He exclaimed, before muttering something in which I heard the words 'potential girlfriend' and 'Shadowland'. I raised him an eyebrow, my face hopefully showing my meaning clearly: What are you on about?

"But it said you'd date me, so you'd be cheating on that Albino chick then anyway. And, now I know your secret identity!" A grin appeared on my face. "If you don't uphold your ends of the bargain and date me and kill her, I can tell everyone you are the mysterious and deadly Ike Eelyu!" At the mention of his fake name, my eyes sparkled. Damnit, why couldn't Paul's parents have called him Ike?

This was so cool. It was like Spiderman. Normal guy one-minute, then crazy spiders swinging radioactively bitten guy the next. Well, okay, it's sorta different, but it sounds cool to compare it to Spiderman, though with Paul it's like he's the super secret stealthy ninja of deadliness, and that's got a way better achievements list.

Shame he doesn't have any special powers, though…

"I do this and we never speak of this again. Deal?"

"DEAL!" I yell with a grin, and then plot. I feel like I'm starring in some weird soap or something. It's like, 'first I will coerce him into having an affair with me and carry on seducing him, and then I get him to be gleeful about killing off CeeCee Webb, and then we live happily ever after until it turns out she was some important person and aliens start raining down from space, and…'

Okay! Let's cross that bridge if and when we come to it!

All that matter was that I had a plan, a hot date, and a possible means of getting my popularity back!

Suffice to say, going home from The Point, I felt ten times better than when I'd arrived.

I felt almost like a new person… but not quite.

A/N: I know it's not much but I don't think we really have that much time to write these days, with coursework and everything. I'm amazed that we actually got this up. So it might be a while until the next chapter is up. We'll try our best though. Thank you all so much for the reviews! I'm sorry to say that once again I don't have time to reply, but I'll try to next time… hopefully.