Adventures of Kelly Prescott:

A/N: Chloe - Hope you like the chapter. I more contributed to planning than actually writing the chapter, so I gotta do a lot of work on the next chapter to make up for that, I guess. Applause to Elaine for writing this so well - do you know how hard this was to write in ditzy Kelly POV? Anyway, please review and thank you to all who reviewed last time - you make writing this when we should be studying for exams thoroughly worthwhile!

Chapter 6 – Of Pirates and Pianos:

The next day in school was soooooo exciting! I wasn't sure when Paul was going to assassinate CeeCee but it had to be soon. And then I'd get my popularity back!

Oooooh! I can't wait!

I nearly squealed out loud when I saw Paul in the courtyard at lunch, but I didn't of course. I mean, how weird would that look? Hello? I'm trying to get my popularity back, not make myself look like some total loser who's too weird to get any friends ever.

Puh-lease! As if I would ever do that!

So, when I saw Paul alone, I just casually walked over to him and went, "So did you do it yet?"

Paul glared at me in this really hurtful way. I mean, I thought he liked me. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT TO ME?

I suddenly realized I was kind of freaking out here, so I just forced myself to breathe and eventually I calmed down.

"Not yet," was Paul's answer.

WHAT?

Why hadn't he done it? He told me he would! Oh my gosh! I couldn't believe this!

"Why not?" I whined. This usually helps me get my own way - at least, it works with Daddy anyway.

"Because I can't exactly walk into school with a gun and shoot my girlfriend in front of everyone, can I?" Paul hissed.

I thought about this. "Hmmm… I guess you're right," I sighed. Then I brightened up. "So when are you going to do it then?"

Paul looked annoyed. "I don't know… tonight probably."

I clapped my hands together and giggled a little bit. Did I mention how exciting this was?

Paul rolled his eyes then started to walk away but I grabbed his arm and went all conversationally, "Where are you going?"

"Away from you," he replied.

Oh my God! That was so mean. Why was he being so mean?

I didn't get to whine about it though, because right then Sister Ernestine walked over and glared at us. "Lunch is over. You two should be getting to your lessons, not standing here chatting."

I had just turned around and was starting to walk away, thinking to myself about how much Sister Ernestine sucked when I heard a loud bang behind me. I turned and was like totally surprised to see a grand piano sitting where Sister E had been standing a few seconds ago.

"Oh my God!" I shrieked, "I TURNED SISTER ERNESTINE INTO A PIANO!"

How cool is THAT?

Paul gave me a weird look and I looked more closely at the piano. There were legs sticking out from underneath it.

"A piano with legs?" I muttered, "Wow, that's interesting."

"Don't be stupid!" Paul said, irritated, "Someone pushed it off the roof. It's crushed her."

I looked at Paul, then at the piano, then back at Paul, then back at the piano…

"Oh!" I said, finally getting it. I looked up at the roof. "Who would have done that…?"

I nearly had like a heart attack or something when I saw the familiar face of the Nuclear Guy peer over the edge of the roof. He looked at the piano then at Paul and then he started to look really annoyed. Then something happened that was just soooooo weird. Nuclear Guy leapt off the roof and landed on the piano, pointing a sword at Paul and doing this weird pose.

"Slater!" he said in this kind of scary but really hot voice, "I challenge you to a duel!" Then he pulled a leather glove out of his pocket and slapped Paul across the face with it.

Paul's eyes narrowed and he smirked slightly. "You think you can beat me, de Silva?" And he pulled a sword out of… well, nowhere it seemed. Wow this was sooooooo cool. And totally weird, but whatever.

I briefly wondered where I'd heard the name 'de Silva' before but soon forgot about it when they started this totally awesome sword fight! It was totally like Pirates of the Caribbean or something. That Nuclear Guy even looked like a pirate, with his frilly shirt and everything. And it didn't even matter that Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom were nowhere to be seen, because Paul and Nuclear guy are both soooo hot! Although, come to think of it, I wouldn't mind if Johnny or Orlando decided to stop by…

I watched their fight, feeling like totally amazed. It took me a while to realise that I wasn't the only one watching this. Some guy went to me, "What's going on? Why has Slater got a sword… and who does he think he's fighting with?"

I looked at the guy like he was on crack. "He's fighting the Nuclear Guy, you moron!" I said. I mean, was he blind or something?

The guy returned my weird look. "Whatever, girl," he said and walked away from me.

What? What did I say?

Why does NOBODY like me?

Seriously, he didn't even call me by my name! I thought everyone knew my name!

Suddenly I squealed and moved out of the way of Paul, who was magically flung into the double doors behind me. He quickly stood up, though and Nuclear Guy went over and waved his sword at him, but Paul sort of blocked it and it was really cool. I didn't know Paul could use a sword. It was weird, but then, I guess it makes sense because he's an assassin and all. God, he was sooooo talented… and did I mention hot?

I followed them both inside, where they were still fighting. They were both swinging their swords and blocking and ducking and twirling. I guess it would have looked kind of nice if they both weren't trying to kill each other and everything.

I really didn't know who I wanted to win. I mean, I liked Nuclear Guy because he gave me that idea about hiring an assassin, but I also liked Paul because he was the love of my life and my one chance at getting my popularity back. Oooooh! I hate making decisions!

I guess I didn't have to decide in the end, though. Because eventually Nuclear Guy ended up backing Paul up into a dead end in front of this stock cupboard.

"Surrender, Slater!" Nuclear Guy bellowed dramatically.

Paul looked up at him all defiantly and went, "Never!"

Then Nuclear Guy lifted up his sword and I could barely look, but I did anyway because this was soooo exciting! Anyway, he lifted up his sword and went to plunge it into Paul's heart, but then Paul ducked and the sword just went into the stock cupboard door. Suddenly there were these screams from inside the cupboard and when Paul moved away from it out tumbled Suze Simon and then Adam McTavish on top of her.

Everyone stared. And I mean everyone, when I looked round it seemed like the whole school had been watching that fight. I almost laughed. I mean, Suze and Adam! Someone told me he was gay.

They quickly stood up, looking embarrassed. And then Suze looked at Nuclear Guy and started to look a bit guilty. Wondering why she was acting like that I turned and looked at him. He was looking at Suze like she had taken his sword and shoved it through his heart or something. It was kind of depressing really…

Oh well!

I decided to ruin the moment, because, seriously, why should Suze and Nuclear Guy get all the attention? I ran up to Paul and squealed, "Ohmigosh, Paul! Are you okay?"

Paul nodded kind of dazedly, still staring at Suze. Realising that I wasn't going to get anything out of him, I turned to Nuclear Guy and went, "Ohmigosh, Nuclear Guy! Are you insane? You could have killed him!"

That got the attention of all of them. Luckily, that didn't mean the whole school anymore, since everyone had started to leave when they realized that the fight was over. But Paul and Suze and Nuclear Guy all looked at me like I'd just said something really weird… like that I bought my clothes from Wal Mart or something. I mean, as if!

"What?" I asked, starting to feel uncomfortable.

Suze went in this totally surprised voice, "You can actually see him?"

"Well, duh! I mean, he's there isn't he?" I said. God, what was going on?

Suze looked even more surprised, and a little confused, "So you're a mediator too?"

I looked uncertainly over at Paul for a second; he looked kind of horrified for some reason. I didn't get it, what was going on here?

"No," I said, then I straightened up proudly, "I am Kelliella Alexandra… Esmarelda… Um… well, okay, I can't remember my name, but you lot better stop looking at me funny because I am a descendent of the all powerful Kelliella Trotsbottom and I can kick butt if I want to!"

Suze and Paul just looked even more confused, but Nuclear Guy looked more shocked than ever.

"You are related to Kelliella Trotsbottom?" I nodded, kind of confused by his behaviour. "Then you may have heard of me… I am Hector de Silva."

Hector de Silva? Hey, cool! That was my great great whatever grandfather's name too-

OH MY GOD!

This means I thought my own grandfather was hot!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!