Jack was almost positive that she'd never had a better Monday in her life. She'd said good-bye to one half-awake Riddick when he'd dropped her off at school early that morning, and then she'd proceeded to let the day fly past her as she floated along in a state of near-bliss.
It was a perfect day. Blue skies, lots of sunshine. The only real blip on the radar came at lunch, when Jack learned of the rumor that Hope Anderson had essentially been institutionalized in the past few days because she'd suffered extensive brain damage from near-suffocation. She was unable to speak, seemed unresponsive to most stimuli, and struggled mindlessly when people tried to help her with normal, every day tasks. And since her parents weren't willing to stay home from their jobs and take care of her, she was going to be transferred to an assisted living facility.
That was what they were saying, anyway...
For the briefest of moments, Jack felt a wash of pity run through her when she heard the news, and she wondered if Hope had really deserved such a severe breakdown at such a young age. But then again, there was always that voice in the back of her mind that reminded her that the weak didn't always make it. Sure, she'd never been raped. But before she'd escaped T2, her life hadn't exactly been a basket full of peaches. None of it had killed her, and while she couldn't exactly say that it had made her stronger either, she hadn't broken. She'd survived on less than Hope had ever had, and if the girl couldn't take the life she'd built for herself at a time when she was still somewhat sheltered from the real world, then she'd be needing all the assisted living she could get.
Jack didn't dwell long on depressing thoughts of her former friend's wasted life. As long as she was getting Riddick back, she really couldn't bring herself to honestly care about the fate of someone who might or might not have betrayed her.
She got home relatively late that evening, after Riddick. She'd been shopping for real food at a local grocery store, and was rather pleased with her purchases.
Easing Rick back into being comfortable with himself wasn't going to be any sort of walk in the park, Jack knew that. Yet, as if she'd expected him to be much improved already, she found herself to be a bit disappointed to see him still looking down and out, sitting in front of the TV in a dark living room, alone. There wasn't a single light on in the house, and even though his head didn't snap around the moment she walked in the front door, she knew he was wearing his contacts. He wasn't ready to let go of the safety they provided him.
There was just something about the way he was sitting on the couch, somewhat slumped over to one side, tension built up between his shoulder blades. He looked so miserable, and again, she found herself questioning her choice.
"Riddick," she said softly, hoping she wouldn't startle him.
If he hadn't known she was there, he gave no indication. But at the same time, he didn't turn to face her. Just when she was about to give him his peace, his voice rumbled through the darkness like faraway thunder. "I was thinking tonight that maybe I should find her."
His words nearly froze her heart in her chest. Why the hell would he think that? "Why would you do that, Rick? She lied to you..."
He got to his feet suddenly, still not turning to face her as he began to pace in agitation. "I know, I know she did. She lied to me about a lot of things. But what if being pregnant with me wasn't one of them? It's just that, things happen. Unexplainable things. What if this was one of those things?"
Jack let her book bag and her eyes drop to the floor. "Listen, Riddick, I think she's lying. I think she's lying about the whole thing. I don't think that Shella got pregnant at all. I think she just said she did to try to get me out of the house. And besides, I sort of followed her once, to this place, after I heard her talking on the phone with this guy. She seemed to think that whatever she had to talk to him about was going to drive you away, and maybe that was it. Maybe she cheated with him and she didn't want you to know about it," she suggested softly, then quickly decided to backpedal. "But no matter what's happening, you don't have to worry about it right now. If she shows up with proof, there will always be time for you to take a paternity test. She won't, but if she does, we'll figure something out. For right now, all you can do is relax and try to focus on sorting out your own baggage. Now come help me make dinner. I really think you're going to like it."
She turned to go, grocery bag still cradled carefully in her arms when he called after her, stopping her once again. "Jack, if I was just Riddick, what would I say right now? What would I do?" he asked carefully, sounding almost as lost as he had the previous evening.
Gonna be a long, uphill battle, Jackie. I sure hope you're strong enough to take it.
She didn't turn to look at him when she spoke, knowing her eyes would betray her even in the dim lighting. "Riddick would've said, 'Fuck the stupid bitch.' But I have no idea if he really would've meant it."
She turned just in time to see him nod, but she couldn't tell if he was agreeing with her assessment or simply taking it into consideration. She continued to watch in silence until he at last sat back down on the couch, his head down, hands dangling between his knees.
"I think you're right, kid. I think that I would've said 'fuck her' back in the day. It just seems like I've been living as Rick Costello forever, and Richard B. Riddick was someone I knew a lifetime ago... You know, Jack, all that stuff they say about life being hard as a criminal, it's a bunch of bullshit. Being a criminal is the easiest thing in the world. All you've got to do is eat, sleep, and keep a pair of eyes in the back of your head. Just do that every day and you've got it made, no matter what. Survival of the fittest is the one thing that no one has to teach you how to do, you're just born with the instincts... Shit doesn't get complicated until you start involving other people, commitment, social groups. Then you've got to learn everything from scratch, cause nothing is the way that you were born believing it should be..." he trailed off.
Jack found that she'd been inching toward him subconsciously, and decided to put down her groceries on a near-by coffee table and then continued on her slow path around the couch, listening intently as Rick continued to explore his inner turmoil out loud, so she could hear it, and possibly come to understand him more completely. She was sure that on his own, Riddick never would've bothered with needing anyone to understand him.
After a few seconds of collecting his thoughts while his eyes remained firmly fixed on the wall straight ahead of him in what looked to Jack like a slight daze, he finally went on, expanding on his previous monologue. "For me, killing always came naturally. Kill an animal for food, no one cares much. Kill another man for trying to screw with you, they throw you in prison cause you can't play nice with the other dogs. People who grow up with nice parents, a good family, they have no idea what it's like trying to learn some of those more crucial life lessons at twelve or eighteen or twenty one, instead of having them drilled into you from the moment you come home from the hospital. That's what I used to tell myself, that's how I excused not having to follow the law like everyone else. I didn't know any better. No one had taught me the difference between right, wrong, and doing what it took to keep myself out of the dirt. My life was being threatened so often, I could never tell when it wasn't. When things would've been just fine, if I'd only let some little thing go. But I'd been living like that for so long, walking that same line, that I always knew what I was doing. And right now, I gotta say that I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing. Not in this house, not with a girlfriend, not with my job. Seems like you're just about the only thing I get anymore, Jackie girl. You're the only thing that hasn't changed."
At last Jack stood in front of him, but it wasn't until her hands came to rest softly on his shoulders that Riddick actually seemed to be able to see her standing over him. She bit her lip, looking deep into those false, brown eyes, and thinking that she'd never seen emotion in them before, never seen the vulnerability that was present at that moment. And for a mere fraction of a second, the thought that they never could've possibly been together for an extended period of time as long as he'd been stuck in a world where he had no use for anyone but himself flashed through her mind.
He needed her to help him, help him adjust to being human. He would never be able to fit on his own without her guidance. He needed her experience with other people, he needed her to show him how to behave in order to survive something far worse than prison or mercs.
She had to show him how to survive society.
"I promise that someday, Riddick, you'll be comfortable with yourself again. And not only will you regain the confidence you had as a convict, you'll have it as a man who doesn't have to run from anything. It'll take time, but we'll get there, together. Okay?" she tried to assure him, tightening her grip slightly on him for emphasis.
He nodded slightly, placing his hands over hers and gently lifting them off his shoulders and holding them together in front of him, squeezing softly before he stood and meandered reluctantly after her as Jack pulled him by both wrists toward the kitchen.
