Hello, everyone, IKS here with my second FMA fic. This whole fic is dedicated to the AMAZING CaptainKase. Read all of her stuff now. I mean it. Click out of this fic, read her stuff, and then come back here. Actually, read mine first so it won't seem too inferior. -squeals- Her Ed!Angst is wonderful, and she so obviously loves her Ed-angst, so I tried to do something for her. Hope you like it, CK.
Oh, and one more thing: I take requests just not yaoi or yuri and most likely not romance although I may be able to do a bit. I also apologize for the horrendous title, but I just figured that it would be an okay name for my rather emotional one-shots. This takes place after Ed's surgery.
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"Say it."
A grunt emitted from the body hanging limp on sanitized white sheets surrounded by white, white walls. Wheels wobbled over top of a linoleum floor, florescent lights flickering over the deathly pale face of Edward Elric.
Limp, blonde bangs clung to his face, grimy and tangled from a mixture of sweat, dirt and blood. Golden eyes were scrunched underneath eyebrows deeply furrowed in pain, dark circles apparent over pale skin. Hollowed out cheeks fluttered furiously from the quick intakes of breath that wracked his frail body, looking so weak, so small in the massive room.
A massive, freezing, metal gauntlet clung to the boy's frail, sweaty, limp hand, and if Ed closed his eyes, he could pretend that the heat emitting from Alphonse was pure human heat, not just the result of convection.
"Niisan, I'm here, I'm not going to leave." A tinny voice rattled out of the suit of armor, looking positively gargantuan over his older brother, the small, high voice filled with spirit and tenderness contrasting the armor's cold, sharp, edges.
His heart was beating a mile a minute, and if Al pressed close enough to his ailing brother, he could pretend that that heart was his own, or that their hearts were one. Al could only imagine what went on in his brother's mind right now.
Ed knew that he couldn't have survived any of this without his brother right there beside him. He was far too weak to walk back to his room, and damn it, he wasn't going to be carried back to his room no matter how much Winry or Pinako insisted, and goddammit, he wanted to stay in this empty, white, white room, with his cold, iron brother, and maybe the pain could go away from his cold, iron limbs.
His head felt like it was split wide open, he felt like fucking Humpty Dumpty, except for the fact that he abhorred eggs, which he claimed were farted out by some chickens. His arm and leg felt raw, and dear God, he didn't know that it would hurt so goddamn much. Ed doubted he could've gone through any of this without the reminder. A cold, iron hand gripping his reminding him of what his brother was now.
And a soft, gentle voice, telling him what he used to be.
"Say it," He grunted again.
"Niisan, it's okay, I'm here. I'm not going to leave."
Visions of red-eyed creatures, thousands of black, groping hands, that face, that wasn't his mother, leering at him. He remembered how much it hurt to have his arm and leg taken away. It wasn't quick, and painless, it was like his arm and leg were shattered into a million fucking little pieces one by one from the inside out.
Ed wondered what it felt like to have your whole body devoured like that. Guilt seized him up, a choking sob rising up in his throat, and unsaid words lying on his lips, I'm sorry Al; this is all my fault, all my fucking fault. This can hardly be called a mistake.
Instead, "Please…Al…Say it…"
"It's okay, Niisan, I'm here. I'm not going to leave. Ever."
Ed felt his frail body be scooped up into massive arms, and he began to feverishly protest, but of course, Al would have none of that. Ed murmured something along the lines of, I'm your big brother, I should be carrying you, you should need me not the other way… quite vaguely. Al found that without ears, it was hard to hear his brother's feverish whispers, and cradled him closer, expecting that would help. It always did in the past.
Ed gave a slight shiver; the armor was so cold. Somehow that didn't seem to matter at all. What mattered was that it was Al. Ed felt the familiar bumpiness of Al's odd gait, the constant, rattle, clank, squeak. As he recalled, he didn't have the heart to suggest an oiling. Al leaned down, laying his brother onto a downy bed, "There, Niisan," He said, voice bright with a happiness that sounded far too fake, "Now get some rest."
At some points in Ed's restless sleep, he'd ask, hopefully, "Al?"
And Al was always there.
"Niisan, I'm not going to leave like Mom. I promise."
The next day, Ed's fever broke.
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There it is. I hope that you all enjoyed it and reviews are MUCH LOVED. Reviews are much loved. Review. Review. Review. Get the point yet? Thanks for reading.
