Hardened Winds

Chapter XVIII

Summary: Two years ago, Aang was betrayed by Katara, who fell for Zuko and ultimately led to the avatar's failure to defeat Ozai before summer's end. Hardened, the young airbender is now back with a full army and is on the verge of defeating the Fire Nation once in for all. Yet despite his belief of being in full control, nightmares of the past still haunt him. What will happen when Katara returns and a series of misunderstandings and more betrayals unveil? Will Aang be able to handle it all?

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There was a crack running through him.

Huddled quietly inside a gloomy, dark cave hidden somewhere high up among the foreboding mountains, the avatar watched the menacing rain shoot down from the ominous, black sky, every once in a while seeing a strike of lightning attacking the earth below. Outside, the noise was fierce, raucous, the sharp crash of the water stabbing the ground clashing with the cacophony of the enraged winds and the booming thunder. He could feel the powerful winds, swift and chilling to the bone, all around him, attempting to get him, to hurt him, and even though he was using his airbending to push them all away, it didn't feel as if it was helping. Because he was still feeling so cold, and through his closed eyelids, he could see the invisible scars and wounds in an intricate pattern on his fragile, white skin. A small, strangled cough escaped his lips.

Jagged and piercing. Deep and solid. The pain coursed through his every vein, freezing him, torturing him, seizing his heart and squeezing it until it would burst. He felt the heated, bitter tears mounting to his eyes, screaming to get out, but as always, he pushed them down, deep down until his eyes were sore yet dry. He was shivering, though, so cold, and a sadness that he hadn't felt since… since that day… was conquering him, gleefully taking over him while he trembled and wondered dejectedly what had happened. How…? Why…?

Sokka and Katara and Zuko. They had been free, together, and heading towards his chambers. And his mind, which had long been tempered to be solely rational, had long refuted any other explanation than the obvious one that had glared at him the moment his eyes had set on the three. Inside him, he felt another wound rip open, the atrocious pain making his double over as it already began bleeding abundantly. Of course, he desperately clung to his reason, trying to figure it out logically, Zuko would try such a daring stunt, but to be aided by Katara, Sokka…

His second-in-command had been ignoring him, giving him the cold shoulder these days. Despite his indifferent exterior, he had been confused, hurt, about how his friend had acted, how he had been trying to distance himself from him. It hadn't been as if he hadn't tried getting Sokka's attention, hadn't tried asking him out loud what was wrong, but the seventeen-year-old had never given him a chance. And now… he had betrayed him. Decided that going with the prince of the Fire Nation would bring him more than just sticking with a weak fourteen-year-old. He suddenly had a coughing fit, his coughs loud and dry as they burned through his throat and made him tremble harder. Again, tears threatened to swell from his eyes, but again, he brutally forced them down.

Katara. He should have expected this. Why had he been so shocked? After all, she had already betrayed him once, and the memory brought a rain of glinting knives upon him. But this time, it had been worse, because she had been helping Zuko do… How could she? It was the same question that had haunted his mind when he had lain in the firebender's cell, limp and numb. He couldn't help feeling hurt, grief-stricken, at what she had done, and it made him angry, realizing that he would never learn. What had he been thinking? That the traitor waterbender had turned back to the warm girl he had had a crush on two years ago? And perhaps a part of his mind had been hoping for that, had been secretly convincing him that Katara… had still been Katara… when they had talked, when he had rescued her and she had gazed at him with sincere gratitude, affection.

But once again, she had betrayed him. And this time, she had dragged her brother into this, too. He squeezed his eyes shut, burying his head in his arms, feeling the cracks inside him widen, deepen its damage. He wouldn't be surprised… if the pain would eat him whole. It… just… isn't… fair. Everyone he had cared about…. they had either gotten themselves killed, throwing a huge weight of guilt onto his shoulders…. or betrayed him. Now, there was no one left. He was completely alone, and the fact threatened to split him open.

The boy almost wished that Asuka hadn't come to him earlier that day, hadn't immediately confided the terrible knowledge to him the moment he had entered the entrance hall, weary from his voyage to Bai Sing Se…

----- ----- -----

"What is it, Asuka?"

The question slipped from his lips the moment he saw the tall woman saunter briskly to him, her face as always gleaming with a certain smug pride. The avatar yawned, practically throwing himself on a bench when the warrior reached him, making it clear that she had something important to say. Shaking his head to rid himself of the small headache that had overtaken him during his trip back to Omashu, the airbender politely asked Asuka whether what she had to say could wait, and when she informed him that it couldn't, he raised a curious eyebrow at her.

"I would imagine that truly important matters would cease to exist once the war was over," he told her quietly, careful not to show any hint of annoyance.

"We should never let our guards down, avatar," Asuka replied grandly but respectfully, leaving the teen to reluctantly agree with her.

"What is it then?" he then bluntly asked. "The thing you want to tell me, that is."

The woman straightened herself even more, if that was possible, before answering:

"Just recently, I found out what the prince of the Fire Nation is planning. As you know, he is still lurking somewhere around here. Have you ever wondered why the prince hasn't already gone back to his native nation?"

Of course, he silently told her, but he just shook his head, knowing that his answer would only bring more complications. However, now that she brought it up, the avatar was curious to know what was Asuka's theory.

"After much thinking, I can reasonably say that he is conspiring to murder you, avatar."

He felt a small jolt hearing the word 'murder,' but to be honest, he wasn't all that surprised. After winning against his nation and killing his father, Zuko had every motive to try to kill him. The airbender just hadn't… really thought about it. The prince himself and his intentions had entirely disappeared from his mind the moment he had become engrossed in his new mission, and it was tiring to think that he would presently have to look out for the firebender, too, on the top of the list he had to do. The fourteen-year-old sighed.

"I'll look out for him, Asuka," he then gently told her. "Don't worry. And anything else you would like to say?"

She hesitated for a moment.

"Yes," she answered seriously after a moment. "I do. Have you noticed how strange the second-in-command is acting these days?"

This got his attention. He nodded carefully.

"I think it has to do with the new prisoner," Asuka continued. "He seems to have some sort of relationship with her."

"Yes," he agreed, sighing. "And that's probably because she's his sister."

For a brief moment, Asuka looked taken back. Soon, though, she regained her composure and looked thoughtful, a small frown appearing on her face.

"She's his sister?" she murmured, almost to herself. "Then it isn't wise, is it? Letting him look after her…"

The woman had a point, he hated to admit, but he trusted Sokka. And although his friend had proved to care more for Katara than he would have liked, he hadn't strayed from his duties, had he? However, the then remembered how cold the older one had recently been to him, and he was beginning to worry what was on the other's mind…

"The prisoner could be influencing him," Asuka's cold observation cut through his thoughts like a dagger, and he immediately felt a sickening dread. That couldn't happen… he wouldn't let that happen…

"What are you saying?" the young monk inquired dangerously, his eyes narrowed.

Seeing that expression, the woman withdrew slightly.

"Nothing, really," she told him quietly, softly. "But perhaps, for your best interests, you should look out for your second-in-command. In case he gets any… stranger."

Her voice heard, Asuka altogether retreated, leaving him with newfound doubts.

----- ----- -----

She had been right.

Sokka. Katara. Zuko. All at his personal door. It could only mean one thing. Murder. The word seemed cruel, but so far away from his world, but now he knew that everybody had been drawn into this game, and all had been playing against him. He felt numb, his sorrow making him feel empty while the hurt still scorched within his chest.

Sokka must have known he had arrived a few days earlier than he had planned, and he must have known that he must have been exhausted from his journey. It had been the perfect moment to attack, to finish him off, wasn't it? The war had long ended, but he had never felt so pained, so helpless, and the cold outside was like blue fire, burning through his skin, passionate as it slowly dominated him, its biting sting almost loving as it made his skin raw and a tint of ghostly blue.

He knew he couldn't hide here forever. He had to go back and pretend to be big and strong, to resume his place as the long-suffering avatar. He wished he could stay here, that he could still be alone to decay in his pain instead of going back and being forced to see them. Because then his emotions would ignite to such a point that it would break him, eating him inside out until he collapsed. Yet he couldn't have that, could he? Slowly opening his eyes, he shook his head. The point of being the avatar was to be in control, and the instant he had seen the enemy at his door, with a knife, he had let go of all the control he had so painstakingly gathered the last two years.

Even now, he felt it slip from his fingers, and he clenched his fist, as if he could stop just grasp back all that he had lost with one simple move. However, it appeared as if he could, because as he took a deep breath, he felt everything gradually withdraw back into him. When he sighed again, he felt as if he was back in control. True, he felt strangely empty, a thick void where his emotions had been just hovering inside him, but it was better than feeling chaos reigning over, wasn't it? Everything had receded into a dull agony stirring slowly in his chest, and he felt better. Actually… he felt almost… nothing at all. The thought made him lightheaded.

Suddenly, he remembered one of his nightmares. He recalled Avatar Roku's enraged façade, his thunderous words, and as he gradually stood up, watching the storm outside with eyes calm once more, he thought to himself that he would not fail Roku. He would not fail himself. The avatar… had to stay in control.

----- ----- -----

"Zuko!"

Recovering himself from a waterbending attack, the prince heard her frightened voice, followed by a shuffling noise, but before he could register what was happening exactly, he heard the distinct sound of a furious water whip. A moment later, Katara let out a pained shriek, and the firebender immediately jumped up, ready to attack the one who had harmed her. Besides him, Sokka looked alert, scowling at the darkness in front of them that was veiling the enemy. However, the black soon dissipated when a small fire appeared in midair. All three of them stared at it, mesmerized, until the fire grew big enough to show a young firebender staring solemnly at them. The flames flared even higher, and then they saw that the firebender wasn't alone.

Zuko heard a sharp intake of breath from the water tribe peasant when they were abruptly face-to-face with a woman clad in black, that infuriating blond waterbender, and a dozen of guards behind them.

"Maya? Asuka? Gloria?" Sokka whispered softly.

"Apparently, you couldn't take the firebender on your own after all," the shorter woman (apparently named Gloria, Zuko thought) retorted. "We decided to help."

Glowering at all of them, both of the prince's fists immediately alighted, and he was already preparing to strike when the taller woman shook her head at him, all the while smiling mockingly at him.

"You don't want to do that, I'm afraid," she told him quietly. "Look here."

She motioned to her right. Fear gripped him when he realized that one of the guards had already drawn his arrow, which was now pointed at Katara. The girl was on the ground, gritting her teeth and obviously hurting. No matter how much she moved to try to avoid the enemy's pointed weapon, the arrow followed her so that it was always pointed directly to her heart.

"One false move, prince…" the ninja woman hissed, and Zuko didn't need for her to finish her sentence.

He glanced at Katara, immediately knowing that she was in no condition to run for it… not that she would have much of a chance if she did. Her archer seemed very experienced in his art. Running for it, though, appeared to be the only thing for him to do, but having the image of Katara sprawled onto the ground, vulnerable, blazed into his mind, he knew that the notion was laughable. If he ran away without the waterbender, it would be a coward's act. He could pick her up and escape, but to do that successfully… that was next to impossible. And he already knew what would happen if he tried picking a fight with the enemy. They were trapped.

"Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide," the blond said lightly, as if reading his thoughts. "Erin, Ryo… take the prince. Taria, Yun… take the girl. And Kang, keep your arrow on the waterbender."

Zuko scowled when the two guards got hold of his wrists, soon bounding them tightly together with rope before leading him back to the door they had come from. When he tried to burn the ropes off, he found to his irritation that they were fireproof. At least he still had Katara in sight, he thought as he watched her being led in front of him. Yet the moment they arrived at an intersection, the girl's guards steered to the left while his own went to the right. He narrowed his eyes, wishing dearly that his hands were free.

A few minutes later, the avatar's guards threw him unceremoniously into a cell, leaving him with his hands tied as they closed the door behind him. There was only darkness now, which only made it more difficult for the prince to ease himself up. He was unable to firebend and he was the avatar's prisoner, but he knew that this wasn't going to last long. He was the prince of the Fire Nation, after all, and a stubborn one, too. He was confident that he would escape, that he would free Katara, too, and then… The avatar will pay.

This was far from over.

----- ----- -----

"How did you find us?"

Sokka gazed impassively at Asuka, although his emotions were in turmoil. Nevertheless, he kept cool, because he didn't need Asuka's suspicions on top of everything he had to deal with already. If she knew that he had been helping Zuko free Katara instead of trying (and failing) to fight him off… The seventeen-year-old inwardly flinched. There was too much that he was hiding, from his fellow Resistance members, from Aang (at that, his insides twisted horribly), but this was not the time to come clean. He had to play this game of secrets and treachery… for a little while longer.

He and Katara were back where they had started. Her cell. Sitting besides him, his sister had her head down, refusing to look at Asuka or him as she kept her eyes on her arms, which were in a worse condition than they had been before after suffering from Gloria's powerful water whip. Another twinge of guilt. But Sokka had to stay on the main goal, which was to satisfy Asuka with his answers and make sure that she didn't suspect a thing. Easier said than done, of course, because the woman was naturally wary, especially when it concerned him. At that, an imperceptible sigh escaped his lips.

"You don't sound as grateful as you should be, commander," Asuka raised her eyebrow, smiling wryly at him. "But if you need to know, Gloria and I found Taro on the floor a while ago, and when we saw his burns, we were convinced that there was a firebender in the castle. After that, it was pretty easy spotting the prince."

Taro. Sokka should have known not to just leave the man unconscious on the floor, but what else could he have done then? Remembering the horrid burn on the other's shoulder, his remorse grew, dark, heavy, and destructive. But he presently had to keep himself focused on Asuka. If he showed any signs of what he was feeling, she would certainly know.

"How is he, by the way?" the boy then asked nonchalantly.

"In the hospital wing," the woman replied crisply. "His burn is rather bad, but I'm sure the healers will be able to fix him up."

"That's good."

The two of them stared at each other evenly for a long moment, Asuka's glimmering black eyes drilling into his azure ones; he could tell that she was trying to pierce through him, to figure out what he was thinking. He held on to her gaze, though, determined not to show any weakness in front of him, to remain in command. After all, it had always been hard getting respect out of the aloof woman, and she took every flaw of his as something to lash out on him at the right time. The heavy silence was only broken when Katara's head unexpectedly shot up, her eyes sharp as she turned to face Asuka.

"Where is he? What are you going to do with him?"

"Such a nice girl like you should know when to keep your mouth shut," the woman said venomously. "But if you must know, he is probably going to be executed, the moment the avatar returns… from his brief trip."

The waterbender gasped, although what happened to Zuko was the least of Sokka's worries. The prince could be killed for all he cared. It was Katara who he was worried about, and he was angry at himself for caring so much for her, even after what she had done. His feelings, which he should have suppressed the moment he had seen her the first time in her cell, had dragged him into this hideous situation, and because of everything he had done recklessly for her, he had hurt Aang, lashed mercilessly at his best friend… and for what? His sister would be executed in the end anyway. He had gotten himself into an irreversible mess.

"Surprised?" Asuka taunted, her eyes widening in feigned bewilderment. "How could you be? You should have known your prince couldn't live long in avatar territory. He has been lucky so far, to escape us, to escape the many attempts people have done to try to kill him. You should have known he was dead the moment he sneaked into the castle to try to save you, or else when the YuuYan archers almost finished him off. Oh, well," she shrugged her shoulders indifferently. "The prince will die in the hands of the avatar now. And there is nothing you can do."

She articulated her last words deliberately, clearly trying to inflict pain on the sixteen-year-old, and when Sokka looked at Katara and saw her fight back her tears, he sighed, bitterly wondering whether the woman was relishing in her success in making her sister cry. But Asuka's contempt was justifiable, wasn't it? Her spite, it was merely directed to the enemy, and he should feel as if Katara deserved it, especially since it was because of the prince that she had delivered the first blow to Aang. The boy clenched his fist.

He was still angry with Katara for everything she had done, for her betrayal and her lies. Yet hate was another thing completely. He would never be able to loathe the girl, not when she still believed that she was doing the right thing, and he could certainly never bear to see her killed. He would never forgive his sister, though, and perhaps he would never really trust her again, but there was something of the past he was still holding on to, and this had prevented him from rejecting her in the first place.

He couldn't believe that it all lead to this, though. To Aang standing there in front of the three of them just now, looking at them –at him- with those huge, pained eyes of his, his face flickering from confusion to understanding and finally to hurt. His insides wrenched unbearably, leaving him with a leaden weight on his chest, hard and nearly suffocating him. Guilt, self-directed anger… it was all he could feel, leaving no room for him to feel indignant at his best friend anymore. Aang had had the power to just kill Katara without telling him. But him… betraying the avatar, his best friend… that was unacceptable.

But there was a piece of the puzzle that he was missing, Sokka was sure. Because when he had seen realization dawn on the avatar, there had been something he could have sworn that he had been ignorant of. He had been only trying to free Katara with Zuko, and remembering what had shown on the younger boy's face then, he knew that the avatar had seen more than just his second-in-command helping his prisoner escape. His emotions had been just too intense for that. And it made him feel sick, knowing that he had done something far worse than he thought. He felt as if he had signed a contract with a lethal fine print, and now he was paying dearly for his miscalculations.

"When Zuko gets executed," he soon found himself saying in a monotonous voice, "what will he be charged for?"

Another gasp from Katara before she gave him a dirty look, but he simply ignored her. Somehow he had just uttered the question before he had been fully aware of what he was saying, but he was presently almost eagerly waiting for Asuka's answer. It confused him, though, because he already knew why the prince's execution would take place anyway. He was just going to hear what he already knew.

"Good question, Sokka," Asuka replied, her tone hinting sarcasm. "Well, let's see," she held up her fingers. "One for being Fire Lord Ozai's son… two for being an enemy and nevertheless sneaking into the castle and trying to free a prisoner of the avatar's… and three," a grim smile appeared, "for attempting to murder the avatar."

That got an instant reaction. In a swift second, the boy stood up, incredulous as he demanded:

"What?"

It was like his worst nightmares coming true. When Asuka raised her eyebrow and repeated the horrid fact, he suddenly felt nauseated, faint, and everything came together. What Aang had seen when he had caught them all at his door, it was more terrible than he could have imagined it. His best friend, he thought he was an accomplice of a murderer, and what more… of a murderer who wanted to destroy him. Putting a hand on his forehead, he slowly sat down, shutting his eyes tightly as if that could dispel the cruel reality that was now cackling in his face. If he had thought before that he had been feeling bad, it was nothing compared to this. His guilt, his disgust towards himself… his emotions swelled until it was an ominous chasm, and he knew he was about to fall….

He glanced at Katara, feeling a small flicker of anger when he saw her stricken face and realizing that she had known this all along. Another lie she had told him, this time small yet lethal. He didn't know what to feel towards her (pain? Rage?), but the moment he opened his mouth, Asuka motioned to him.

"Time to go, commander," she told him, already heading towards the door. "Gloria's scheduling a meeting, and I believe it's going to start about now."

"Okay then," he said quietly, standing up again.

He refused to look at Katara, because seeing her miserable façade would just remind him of what had happened, about what he had done…

----- ----- -----

Moments before dawn broke through the night, the avatar returned to his castle.

As pale as a full moon and soaked from the vicious tempest still in full force outside, the fourteen-year-old's face was as unreadable as ever when he slowly opened the door to the entrance hall, his head up high as he stepped inside, not knowing exactly where he was going and not caring either. His warriors stared at him, speechless, when he passed by them, yet he ignored them when they called out to him, wondering where he had gone, what he had been up to.

This has to stop.

He was in full power again, feeling calm and empty, and his gray eyes gazed at his surroundings in apathy. A simple betrayal didn't matter, did it? He could handle everything by himself, and if the prince wanted to have anything to do with him, he could have his shot. Now that that he was in control, he was back as the all-powerful avatar, and he would not let a mere firebender conquer him.

You can't fail.

Avatar Roku's harsh words echoed in his mind until they embedded itself deep inside him. Failure was not an option, he knew now. If he lost, the world would be in chaos, and it would be all because of him. From the beginning, his life wasn't for him, it was for the strangers outside. He couldn't let any small, personal things hinder him, weaken him… It's not for me. He closed his eyes.

You can't fail.

When Gloria found him, she found him clean and dry in his chambers, serenely watching the savage storm from the comfort of his bed.

"Avatar," she looked flustered and even a little embarrassed as she entered his room. "You're back, I see."

He didn't bother answering her but, with a slight motion with his head, beckoned her to continue.

"We caught the prince," the waterbender said briskly. "He was trying to free the waterbender prisoner."

Again, he didn't say anything. He turned to look at her this time, though, and he swore he saw her shiver as his cold gray eyes met hers.

"Uh… The prince is naturally assumed to be executed soon, but…"

"Yes, execute him on my say-so."

Gloria nodded and bowed slightly.

"And what about the waterbender?" she then asked, if not a little tentatively. "Should she… get any punishment?"

The avatar stiffened, remembering her gentle smiles and her ruthless actions.

"Execution," his voice came out wintry and stern. "And I'll do it on my own. At sunset today."

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A/N: Yes, another lovely chapter with angst and painful realizations and a cliffhanger. I'm hoping you readers are being greatly entertained by the quickening pace of the story. I also hope Iwasn't being too verbose when I was portrayingAang's point of view in the beginning. I wanted it to be descriptive and feeling, but I know that too many words can just ruin the whole mood altogether. Please comment if you feel that I overdid the first part of the chapter.

There's not much else to say, is there? Enjoy and anticipate the next chapter, which will arrive soon.

Review if you're nice.