Omake Week 2016, Day 5: I started writing Phantasy Star IV omake before I actually knew what the word "omake" meant, so it really wouldn't be an Omake Week without Alys Brangwin and her eternal nemesis making an appearance.

~X X X~

Sometimes, after a long, hard job, Alys Brangwin wanted nothing more than a little peace and quiet.

Looking around at the raucous confines of the Hunter's Guild bar on a busy night, Jason Cord gave his friend a curious look.

"This doesn't quite seem like a place where you'd find peace," he said. "And as far as quiet, that's out of the question," he added as three hunters raised their voices in song from a corner table (three different songs, as they hadn't coordinated their choice in advance, and now seemed intent on settling the matter by volume), a noisy argument devolved into incoherent yelling on the opposite side of the room, and a plate smashed to bits when a drunken hunter passed out and her slumping body knocked it off the table.

No, definitely not quiet.

Alys shrugged as Garn, the bartender, set her drink in front of her.

"I spent the last five days out alone in the desert, just me and the sand worms I was hunting. I need a little human companionship while I relax after that, even if it's loud, drunk, and smells bad."

"Hey, Alys, babe!" a voice boomed out.

"That wasn't really a request," Alys said.

"Too late," Cord told her.

Alys was actually doing Joss Howland a disservice. While he may indeed have been loud and in serious need of a bath, he was still quite sober. Two ales had had little effect on his massive body, or on a head roughly as thick as a block of stone.

"So, I hear you've been out in the desert," his voice boomed out again.

"Uh-huh. I took the sand worm hunt for the merchants of Molcum."

"That's no fun. Still, at least you could travel light."

The look she turned on him clearly asked the question, "What kind of idiot are you?" Cord opted for a more general incredulity, but then again he hadn't been following giant worm-monsters through the desert for five days.

"What are you talking about? I had to bring all my supplies with me. There was no way to go back and reprovision without losing the trail."

"But you didn't need food in the desert. Y'know, because of all the sand which is there?"

He beamed, as if he had just said something clever.

"Get it? Sandwiches?"

He was still beaming. Alys, Cord, and Garn were still staring.

"Man, everybody says women want a guy with a sense of humor," Joss grumbled, catching on at last that he had not gotten the response he expected.

Alys groaned, which at least was different than a dumbfounded stare.

"All right, Joss. Since you're interested in jokes tonight, here's one for you. A hunter had been out working in the desert, surviving the harsh conditions and violent combat against monsters for nearly a week. When she came back to town, she was immediately greeted by a guy trying to impress her by telling jokes that were old and played-out when she was five. Got that?"

"Uh-huh."

"Why did she immediately go back into the desert and cut down a tree?"

"A…tree?"

"A tree."

Even Cord and Garn looked a little confused at that, which Joss found a bit reassuring.

"I dunno. Why?"

Alys gave him a glare that could freeze lava.

"Because she wanted to smack him with an open palm."

"Oh. Heh. Heh-heh. Um…good talking to you, babe. I'll just be…over there."

Joss retreated rapidly.

"He's learning." Cord was genuinely surprised.

Alys took a long pull on her drink, then grinned.

"I guess it's true. Humor does make a social situation more enjoyable."