2021 has certainly started with a vengeance. So (coincidentally) here's a chapter a bit more soft and kind.


"Florence, your turn," Linda said, turning to her with a smile. "How has your week been?"

Florence shrugged. Hope gave her an encouraging smile. "It's been good. Paige's son came home earlier today, he's been living in Texas. I think he's staying for a little bit."

"How's Tilly?" Morgan asked.

"Morgan," said Karen, one of the long – term members of the group, "she's only to share what she wants to share."

"That's correct," Linda said.

"No, it's okay, actually…" the tiniest of smiles came over her face. "They said she can come home in three weeks, if things continue to go well."

"Florence," Leela said, "that's wonderful!"

"How does that make you feel?" Linda asked.

"You know…I might be letting myself get excited. A little. A part of me still wishes we'd never thought of this whole having kids idea. It's never going to be just me and Sly again, at least not for a couple decades. And I still have so much guilt about that – about wanting that, I mean."

"That's perfectly normal," said Aaliyah, one of the women who had joined the group two weeks after Florence. "I told you how bad my post – partum depression was after I had Trayvon, and it was even worse after Joey. I so wished it could just be me and Darnell again. And I still love getting to send the boys to their grandma and grandpa's house for a weekend, occasionally, so we can just be us. That doesn't make us bad parents."

Florence nodded. Aaliyah had shared, on her second day, that she didn't start feeling motherly love for her younger son until he was nearly five months old. "But now," she'd said, "he's reached depths of my heart that I don't even think I had before he came along." Florence smiled at the circle of women, in an almost shy manner. "I do feel things for her, on days that the fog isn't as heavy. I really do think that I love her, but my senses have been so dulled that it's hard to feel it."

"You will," Leelah said. "How you've talked about her has shifted since you've been here."

"I agree," Linda said. "I think I speak for all of us when I say I believe in you."

"Thanks," she said. "Understanding the feelings I was having about my marriage and working through that helped a lot, I think."

Linda nodded. So did a handful of the others. "Anything is made easier when you have people to rely on," she said. "When you know that they're fighting right along side you."


"So you've figured out that Amber is smart, huh?" Ralph asked, breaching the subject more than fifteen minutes after he and Walter had retreated to Ralph's teenage bedroom to catch up.

Walter uncrossed his legs, shifted on the mattress, and then crossed them the other way. "She's not a genius like us. She views the world differently than we do. But she's still smart. She understands color, in particular, really well. And sometimes she'll lay in front of the speaker with her eyes closed…I, I think she experiences music differently, too. I think everyone is smart, if they can find the thing they're smart about."

"I read something once about that politician who is one of the most brilliant brain surgeons in the world," Ralph said, "but he thinks the pyramids in Egypt were built to store grain. And the person was like 'everyone is brilliant at something, and stupid at something else. And you just have to find the thing you're brilliant at.' Who knows, maybe Amber will be the next great musician. Or painter. Maybe she'll play Lulu to Daisy's Jenna. Or maybe she'll have a super successful Etsy shop consistently reinventing slime. Who knows? But she'll find out what she's good at."

Walter nodded. "That was probably the biggest lesson my sister taught me. I mean, she also taught me that if you're afraid of not having something you want, that'll turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy. I mean, how many times did I almost lose your mother for good because I was scared?"

"Too many times."

"Truer words have not been spoken. But if Megan hadn't taught me, even earlier in my life, that everyone is good at something, and we don't all need the same strengths, I never would have gotten to the point in my life where I could have learned all the other things. That both she and your mom have taught me. Megan gave me the foundation to be able to be a part of this family." He sighed. "I still feel guilty sometimes, you know?"

"Why?"

"Because, you know, they both did so much work to fix me. When they didn't have to."

"You fixed us – me and Mom – as much as anyone else fixed you," Ralph said. "In fact, I'd argue that we didn't really fix each other at all. We were this family that didn't originate together, and then one day that family just found the rest of its people. I don't believe in fate, but it's still hard to believe that the three of us didn't simply belong together."

"That sounds like Cabe wisdom," Walter said.

"Cabe, Allie, and a bit of Daisy and Will," Ralph said. "But I like it."

"I do, too. Aww, you hear that?" Walter asked, gesturing with his head to the living room. "Your mom's having a dance party with Amber."

They slowly eased the bedroom door open and peered into the living room. The music was playing, and Paige was singing along, because she always did. She picked Amber up, and the little girl giggled. Paige turned slowly in a circle, bouncing Amber in her arms. "Waterloo, I was defeated; you won the war. Waterloo, promise to love you forevermore."

Ralph and Walter smiled at each other from the doorway; Ralph stepped back a tad to narrow the opening in the door. "Patty and Daisy used to dance in the living room," Ralph said. "I mean, they still do. It annoyed me sometimes, but at the same time, not really. Because they just have so much fun together. It's hard to be mad at them for long, even when I really do need to get to sleep."

"No one new in your life?" Walter asked.

Ralph shrugged. "I've gotten less and less interested in that. A relationship. Over time. I don't really know that it's for me."

"You know I said the same thing when I was your age," Walter pointed out.

"Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to." Paige shifted Amber in front of her and touched her nose to her daughter's. "Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you."

"I know," Ralph whispered. "But I've…I've had them. I've been in love. More than once. And yet, I've always found myself happier when the relationships were over. Some people are just meant to be alone, you know, Walt. 'Alone' isn't synonymous with 'lonely.' I could never possibly be lonely."

"Oh, oh, oh, Waterloo, finally facing my Waterloo."

"I missed this," Ralph said, eyes still trained on his mother and sister. "I missed you. And them. And Scorpion." He gestured toward the living room. "Who sings this?"

"Uh…Mamma Mia."

"No, I mean originally."

Walter stared at Ralph, who cocked his head. "You do know…that Mamma Mia isn't a band?"

"I do now."

Ralph smirked, then bit his lip. "I guess I just believe that everyone has people they belong with, but it isn't always necessarily romantic. Like if Patty ever stopped being in my life that feeling would make me want to die. But I haven't had feelings for her in…gosh, eight years? And that was never serious, anyway. And if you lost Cabe? I mean, again?"

"I know."

"Or if I lost you."

"You'll never lose me, Ralph."

Ralph smiled. "And we know you only state facts."