Lily crashed to the ground, throwing up dust, and Cobalt followed suit.
She rolled over, trying not to feel the pain in her knees and hands and she picked up Evening Jade from the ground. Her Aura flickered, before shattering. As Lily turned her head to check on him, Cobalt's did the same. Another failed battle. She picked herself up and turned to face her opponents, Storm Hunter and Rowan Coldstone of Team SRBY.
"Better luck next time." Rowan sneered.
Lily glared at her. Had Coco not been watching, she was sure the redheaded girl would've had some nastier insult to add. What a brat.
Storm leaned over to help Cobalt up.
"You gave us a good fight," They told him. "Hope we didn't hit too hard."
Storm was far more polite and friendly than their teammate, at least, but Lily still got smug vibes from them. At least Rowan never tried to hide what she really thought.
"The win goes to Storm and Rowan," Coco announced. "Good job, you two."
Lily tucked Evening Jade into her pockets and headed for the benches.
"That'll be it for sparring today," Coco continued. "Everyone can go and get some rest." As Cobalt passed her, she gave him a pat on the shoulder. "You did good out there," She praised.
Lily watched them, a pang in her chest. Cobalt could lose any fight and Coco would still praise him. She missed Emerald with a passion, wishing she were at home.
Luna and Astra met Cobalt and Lily in the doorway as they exited the building and Lily suppressed a groan. Just once, couldn't they leave her be?
"You guys did really good!" Luna praised as they walked. Lily could tell she was forcing it.
"We still lost." She muttered in reply, hoping her tone would silence her.
Naturally, it didn't. Lily could never be that lucky.
"I think some more sparring in our spare time could really help you," Luna continued. "Or-or maybe just some more communication? I think if we knew your Semblance- "
Lily stopped, turning to face Luna and cutting her off. "I already told you that's none of your business." She snapped.
Luna rubbed the back of her head. "I know, but I really think it could help…if I knew what it was then maybe I could figure something out…"
Lily gritted her teeth. "Just drop it, would you?"
For a moment, it looked like Luna was going to, but then she shook her head and narrowed her eyes. "No, Lily, this can't wait," She insisted. "You can't just keep your Semblance a secret; we're all counting on you to- "
Something in Lily snapped and the truth burst out before she could stop it.
"I don't have one, okay!?"
Her teammates stared at her, their stunned silence infuriating Lily even more.
"Are you happy now?" She snapped. "Is that what you wanted to hear? Something else for you to shun me for, so you can talk how horrible I am behind my back or something?" She knew they did it. She'd caught them glancing at her and whispering. As if they thought she didn't already know what they thought.
Luna's eyes were wide and shocked. "We don't think that!" She protested.
"Oh, don't give me that bullshit!" Lily hissed. "I know what you think; I know what you all think. You think I'm some criminal scum, that I'm going to be some villain. You think I shouldn't even be here, as if I don't already know that!"
Cobalt stepped forward. "Lily -"
Lily whirled on him. "No! I'm not just going to let you stand here and keep lying to me! Just be honest, tell me you hate me! Tell me you think I'm a criminal!" She could feel tears welling behind her eyes, but she wasn't going to let them fall. Not here, not in front of everyone.
"Lily, we don't hate you!" Luna insisted, stepping between her and Cobalt. "We don't believe you're a criminal, you're not like your mother!"
Luna looked like she regretted the words the moment she'd said them, but Lily didn't care. Her rage turned to a cold fury and she looked Luna dead in the eye.
"My mother isn't a criminal either." She seethed.
Luna shook her head, eyes wide with horror. She reached out to place a hand on Lily's shoulder. "I didn't mean- "
Lily flinched away, her hand instinctively reaching for one of her weapons. "Don't fucking touch me!" She yelled. In that moment, she realized people were watching. Not just Luna, Astra and Cobalt, but other students and staff too. They were staring. Judging.
Luna's eyes were fixed on the weapon Lily had started to draw. Horrified of herself, Lily threw it to the ground. Everyone still stared.
Burning with shame and fury, Lily turned and ran. She didn't know or care where she was going; she just wanted to get away from the judgment, the stares. She'd drawn a weapon on her teammate. She could almost hear what they'd been thinking; only a criminal would do something like that. And were they wrong?
Finding herself in a wide, empty corridor, she threw herself against the wall. Even alone, she still refused to cry, though her eyes were burning from the pressure. She tried to breathe deeply, as her mother had taught her, but her breath only came in short gasps. It took several passing moments for her to calm, but all of her shame and anger still burned at her core, trying to claw its way back out again.
Sinking down the wall, she realized the surface behind her was metal, not the rough stone of most of the other walls. Curious, she turned, stepping back to look.
Oh.
It was a memorial plaque, a large brass one that almost spanned the whole wall. Lily didn't have to read the golden letters up the top to know what it was there for, but she did anyway:
'For those lost in the Fall of Beacon'
So many names. So many lives. Lily felt pain rise up inside her as she scanned through them. Students, teachers, and regular citizens of Vale alike that had been lost to Cinder's attack, all named here.
Right near the middle, Lily's eyes fell on one in particular, one that she knew would've been there, but it still hurt all the more to see- Pyrrha Nikos. Pyrrha, who had died at the hands of Cinder, shortly after Lily's mother had tricked her into tearing apart Penny Polendina.
She reached out to touch the letters, amazed that she could feel such sorrow for someone she'd never even met.
"It can be hard, the first time you really see it."
Lily jumped at the sudden voice, turning to see Jaune Arc approaching her. He stopped beside her and looked at the plaque, memories seeming to swim in his mind.
Lily didn't know what to say. Of all the people to show up now, it just had to be him. One of the people who'd been hurt the most by this attack.
"I…" She had to ask, lifting her head to stare at him. "Don't you hate me? Or my mother?" She asked, her voice breaking.
Jaune looked at her, his expression unreadable. Finally, he answered, "Why would I?"
Lily tried not to shake. "My mother…she played such a big role in this…" She stared at the plaque. "All the lives that were lost, she was a part of that. She hurt so many people…"
"That had nothing to do with you," Jaune insisted. "It was before you were even born. And if I'm being honest, I don't blame Emerald for any of it."
"But how can- "
"Listen," Jaune interrupted softly. "Your mother may have done a lot of bad things, but she was also a kid. Cinder took her in off the streets and made her feel as if she owed her everything, even if it meant hurting other people to please her. And when she finally realized the truth, she fought as hard as any of us to fight back against Cinder and Salem, even though she was terrified of what would happen to her. She more than made up for what she'd done in the past."
Lily sunk against the wall. "But what does that change? Everything that happened still happened."
Jaune sat beside her. He was quiet for a moment, before speaking. "Losing Pyrrha was the most painful thing that's ever happened to me," He said softly. "She was more than a teammate; she was my best friend and when she died, I felt like my world was over. But instead of blaming the person who actually killed her, I blamed myself. Cinder was too out of reach for me, so I put all the hatred I should've felt for her onto me. I told myself that, if I'd been stronger, or if I'd tried harder to stop her, she'd still be here." He paused, closing his eyes briefly. Lily felt a wave of sympathy for him; over 20 years and it must still hurt for him as much as it did then.
Jaune continued. "It took a while, but I finally ended up accepting that there was nothing I could have done. Pyrrha made her choice, and Cinder was the one who took her. It was a hard realization to come to, but I knew it was right." He took a deep breath. "My point is, when something bad happens and there's nobody to blame, or the force to blame is out of reach, people will blame themselves. It's a bad habit of humanity. The Fall of Beacon, or anything else, was never your mother's fault. It was always Cinder and Salem. But they're gone now. There's no-one left living to blame."
Lily stared at the ground. "I think she does still blame herself. My mother, I mean. I think that's why she never reached out to any of you after you helped her win her case." It almost felt good to be admitting this to herself. She felt her fury slipping away.
"You know, we never knew she had a daughter." Jaune commented.
Lily looked up in surprise. "You didn't?" Was that why nobody had ever offered help? Had Emerald not told anyone?
Jaune shook his head. "We didn't just hear less of her after the case, we didn't hear from her at all. We figured she needed to space to figure things out on her own." He managed a half-smile. "Guess we should've tried to check up on her anyway, huh?"
Shame washed over Lily and she buried her face in her arms. "…I think I've been a shitty teammate." She muttered.
"Well, pulling your weapon on your leader probably isn't a great idea." Jaune replied bluntly.
Oh Gods. Lily looked up at him sheepishly. "You saw that, huh?"
Jaune chuckled. "I think half the school did, kid."
Lily sighed deeply. "I overreacted, didn't I?" She'd seen the horror in Luna's face after she'd said what she did and yet had blown up at her anyway.
Jaune's hand on her shoulder surprised her, but she didn't flinch away. The gesture was comforting, almost parental, though Lily knew Jaune had never had children of his own. "Hey, don't worry about it too much," He assured her. "If I know Luna, she'll be just as torn up about this as you. I think things will be okay if you talk to her."
Lily huffed. "Kinda feel like none of this would've happened if we'd done that from the start."
Jaune shrugged. "Talking can be hard sometimes." He stood up. "Come on; I'll walk you to your dorm."
Lily felt apprehensive. "People are gonna stare at me, huh?"
Jaune smiled apologetically. "Probably. You did cause a scene."
As Lily walked back with them, people did stare, but she tried her best to ignore them, not even pulling her hood up. She went over what she should say in her head. Should she apologize first? Try to explain herself?
When they got to the door of her dorm, Lily hesitated. She turned to Jaune pleadingly. "Help me?" She begged.
Jaune grinned. "Sorry kid, you've gotta do this yourself."
Lily sighed. "I know, you're right."
"Good luck." Jaune gave her a pat on the shoulder before heading back down the corridor.
Taking a deep breath, Lily placed her hand on the door's handle and pushed it open slowly and hesitantly. As she walked in, three heads turned to stare at her and Luna stood up quickly.
Lily cast her eyes to the ground, unable to look her in the eye. "I'm sorry…I…" Tears welled up in her eyes and she didn't try to stop them this time. "I was embarrassed and angry and I shouldn't have yelled…"
Luna hurried up to her, shaking her head furiously. "No, no, I'm the one who should be apologizing!" She insisted. "I didn't mean to say that about your mother; I got the words mixed up in my head and it all just kind of came out…I should've just talked to you about this from the start, but I never knew what to say and I thought you'd rather not discuss it…Lily, I'm so sorry."
Lily brushed her tears away with the sleeve of her hoodie. "I've been hypocritical." She admitted. "I convinced myself that everyone here would judge me for stuff I had nothing to do with, but I judged you for exactly that. And the thing I blamed you and your parents for wasn't even their fault…" She looked up at Luna. "I think we need to talk. And not just us."
Luna nodded. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea. But we can talk to our parents later. For now, I think…I think we should just focus on you." She rubbed her arm, looking hesitant. "Is it…okay if I give you a hug?"
The question surprised Lily, but she nodded. The hug Luna wrapped her in was warm and comforting and Lily realized that wiping her years away had been pointless because they came back again. She hugged her back and her tears grew even stronger as Cobalt and Astra joined them.
"You don't have to be friends with us if that makes you uncomfortable," Luna told her gently. "But I still want us to be a good team and I want you to be a part of it."
"I'm going to be a better teammate," Lily sniffled. "I promise."
As the group hug ended, Lily brushed her tears away again. For the first time, she smiled at her team. "So…can we talk?"
